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How to throw a party for introverts


Mandylubug
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My parents are turning 60 this year. We have never celebrated any milestone birthdays and I think I would like to recognize this birthday for them. They are introverts like myself. They do attend church regularly, have friends there but mainly keep to themselves and family (siblings) for social functions.

 

I know they'd hate a surprise party. I'd hate that if it was for me as well. But then my dad will sneak in a surprise cake etc..so he does like the notion of surprises.

 

I really don't know how to adequately host this function. Also it will be me footing the bill and our budget is very very minimal.

 

Would it be tacky to host a mid day finger foods kind of party? They are the "babies" and all other siblings are late 60s to late 70s. None like to drive late nor super early.

 

But then, if we invite siblings, which are many, I'd then need to invite neices, nephews, their kids all have kids and spouses and before we know it, I can only afford saltine crackers for everyone.

 

I'm spinning my wheels.

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How about a card shower?  Send word out to everyone they know that you can contact to please send a card to your address.  Put them all together in a pretty basket and present to them.  

Then you can have a nice, quiet, dinner with just close family.  And your dad can bring the surprise cake.  ;)

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Personally? I think it would work to have a small gathering/party...and perhaps make it a dessert + coffee/punch etc party? You can get large sheet cakes from a variety of places, and those could easily be cut up to serve the masses. 

 

I like to throw parties, and that's what I'd probably do. Doesn't look cheap/tacky and minimal effort. 

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Maybe an open house with coffee and desserts? Those type parties seem lower pressure to me. No big MOMENT is expected, and the guests are spread out over time and space. :)

Yes, this is how it would be handled here in the Midwest. Set two hours, have some pictures, albums, mementos, etc., set out for people to look at. A guest book is nice, or just take pictures. Some people will stay the whole time, some will be in and out in ten minutes (me).

 

Edited to add - have it at their church!

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We have tons of extended family, so all gatherings are big (envision an after the baby shower party with 60 people, some of whom came four hours for the event!). I think it's totally acceptable to keep it really simple--cards, finger food, etc. If you do cake and iced tea/coffee, that is enough and probably cheaper than finger food.

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Well, my ultimate fantasy introvert party is....not having a party :lol:!!!!  

 

I can't speak for all introverts, but I absolutely loathe parties, and literally despise them when they are supposedly "for my benefit".   It seems like your best bet would be to just ask them what they would like, and maybe sneak a surprise gift into the mix.

 

You know your parents best though.  

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How about a card shower?  Send word out to everyone they know that you can contact to please send a card to your address.  Put them all together in a pretty basket and present to them.  

 

Then you can have a nice, quiet, dinner with just close family.  And your dad can bring the surprise cake.   ;)

 

This is what I would do - and what I myself would prefer to any kind of party as an introvert.    

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I like the idea of having everyone do something for them a la the card shower mentioned above and then having a more intimate gathering to present it.  How about making a video of well-wishing for them.  Get everyone to tape a 30 sec. "Happy Birthday!" greeting and then splice them together, maybe with a few photos of them.  Then it feels like everyone celebrated them, but it's just a few people actually there to fete them.

 

I will say, I'm an introvert and parties wear me out, but a good party that was done right I really enjoy.

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Well, my ultimate fantasy introvert party is....not having a party :lol:!!!!  

 

I can't speak for all introverts, but I absolutely loathe parties, and literally despise them when they are supposedly "for my benefit".   It seems like your best bet would be to just ask them what they would like, and maybe sneak a surprise gift into the mix.

 

You know your parents best though.  

 

I totally agree.  I do not like surprise parties and guess what I got for our 20th wedding anniversary last year? 

 

If it is for someone who truly does not want a party, particularly a surprise party, then nothing YOU want is appropriate, IMO.  There might be reasons you do not understand, beyond just their introversion, for why they don't want or like certain kinds of social events.  That's definitely true for me!  lol

 

I think planning something with them and let them dictate the tone and atmosphere.  If they agree to a get-together, you can surprise them with, say, a video montage or something like that for all to enjoy that will not necessarily put them uncomfortably into the spotlight.

 

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Maybe an open house with coffee and desserts? Those type parties seem lower pressure to me. No big MOMENT is expected, and the guests are spread out over time and space. :)

 

Just an idea - as an introvert I very much prefer short events with a designated beginning and end, to 'get it over with'.  Meandering events make me long for the end, however nice the people.

 

L

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  • 2 weeks later...

I asked them what they would like to do and they thanked me for not having a huge surprise party. We are going to meet for dinner at my house or my Aunt's house. Or we will go out to eat.

 

For my gift for my mom, I am going to host a movie viewing of her favorite movie Gone with the Wind, and serve finger sandwiches desserts and coffee. I am also going to allow her to invite who she'd like to attend. That way it isn't me inviting more than she'd truly wish to spend the time with. It'll be a girls only function. Dad said he'd rather split firewood. Haha

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I asked them what they would like to do and they thanked me for not having a huge surprise party. We are going to meet for dinner at my house or my Aunt's house. Or we will go out to eat.

 

For my gift for my mom, I am going to host a movie viewing of her favorite movie Gone with the Wind, and serve finger sandwiches desserts and coffee. I am also going to allow her to invite who she'd like to attend. That way it isn't me inviting more than she'd truly wish to spend the time with. It'll be a girls only function. Dad said he'd rather split firewood. Haha

The movie viewing is a "surprise" for her but she'll have notice and can just choose for it to be me if that's what she wants.

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