How long do you wait before repurposing a college kid's bedroom?

[Seasider]

I am itching to do some rearranging! College guy will be gone most of the summer but will be home about two weeks before moving into an apartment (not dorms) this fall, his third year.

 

Trying to decide if it's still too early to take away his bedroom! Please share your thoughts, especially if you did it and then regretted it.

 

I'm guessing there have already been threads on this but I don't see any recents.

[Gil]

I had to deep clean the room, organize (trash, donate, sell or store) my belongings, paint the walls and ceiling and clean the carpet before I could even move out of my moms and into my 1st place. There was no sense in me essentially holding a room hostage at my parents place and I could still sleep at my parents when I was over, I just didn't have my room established over there anymore.

 

So, about 1-3 weeks before the teen has even moved, their room is repurposed. At least thats how my mom did it.

[Seasider]

I had to deep clean the room, organize (trash, donate, sell or store) my belongings, paint the walls and ceiling and clean the carpet before I could even move out of my moms and into my 1st place. There was no sense in me essentially holding a room hostage at my parents place and I could still sleep at my parents when I was over, I just didn't have my room established over there anymore.

 

So, about 1-3 weeks before the teen has even moved, their room is repurposed. At least thats how my mom did it.

 

 

Wow! That's pretty proactive!

[MistiDelaney]

I would say that once he has his own official address, you're good to go.

[regentrude]

My personal feeling: when they graduate from college and move away to a job or grad school.

While my DD is in college, this will still be "her" room, with all her belongings and her decorations. I find it very important emotionally that this is still "home" and that coming back from college she will find her space unaltered.

 

Now, the room is not going to stand empty. I will be using it to work at home, will use her desk to work and will sit in her chair and may have a small shelf with my work stuff. But essentially, I want this to be her room until she moves out for good.

 

ETA: our house is large enough for the four of us. If we had a larger family and a smaller house and siblings sharing, the situation might be different.

[Muttichen]

We have more kids than bedrooms, so for the first couple, the younger sib was repurposing the room as the older one was moving out!  

[PeterPan]

I am itching to do some rearranging! College guy will be gone most of the summer but will be home about two weeks before moving into an apartment (not dorms) this fall, his third year.

 

Trying to decide if it's still too early to take away his bedroom! Please share your thoughts, especially if you did it and then regretted it.

 

I'm guessing there have already been threads on this but I don't see any recents.

My family didn't HAVE a stable home when I was at that stage, but I can say if they HAD it would have been nice.  Since you have it, I'd leave it.  I think he would understand if you did some slight things to it (add a sewing counter, whatever), but at least leave a bed and his trophies or whatever...

[8filltheheart]

We will be redoing ds's room this summer before he even leaves. Our house is way too crowded to save his room for him and the only time I have to really do it is during the summer.

[MysteryJen]

I lived at home during college and when I left for grad school, I had to pack up all my things. My room became the guest room.

 

Ds1 has his room in the basement and we are going to clean up and organize so that it becomes a more useful space for all of us.  We also have more kids than bedrooms, so I know that ds2 has his eye on his own space.  The girls are happy sharing right now.

[Wheres Toto]

Part of the deal with DD living on campus is that she would no longer have her own room.   She had her own room from the time we moved into the house until then, her much younger siblings shared.   If she lived at home during college, they would have continued sharing and she would have kept her room.  But, we don't have enough bedrooms (or space in general) and we weren't going to hold a room empty when she was only going to be home for a couple weeks here and there (she also splits her non school time between our house and her dad's house, so even less than the typical school breaks was spent with us).  Her freshman year she came home quite a bit.  This past year, she rarely came home except for breaks when school was closed.

 

She has a locked cabinet in the room she shares with her sister to keep her things safe.  She also has drawers for clothing, book shelves for books and stuff.  Until recently she slept on the top bunk of a custom-built set of bunk beds (that used to be her loft bed in her very small bedroom) but we recently switched it for a trundle bed.  For the summer, the two beds will be permanently set-up but when school starts in the fall and she moves into her on-campus apartment, the one bed will be kept under the other unless we know she's coming home.

 

Our decision was made with lots of discussion but she understood that we don't have the space to leave a room unused for most of the year.  She doesn't HAVE to live on campus.  She strongly wanted to live there and this was part of the deal.

[creekland]

My guys still have their rooms with all of their belongings.  Youngest moved more stuff in and had various experiments going on, but none of their stuff got moved.

 

We did use their rooms as guest rooms the few times we needed them, but that wasn't often.

 

Only if my mom comes to stay with us do I plan to do anything more than cleaning their rooms - unless we choose to move at some point.

[Susan in TN]

My plan is to eventually set up the room and space downstairs to rent to local college students.  There is a very small Christian college near our home and there are often students looking for non-traditional housing.  However, my 9yo son still has that bedroom for who knows how long.  We may have to wait a few years until dd15 goes to college, and then we might be able to rearrange the remaining 3 girls and 1 boy upstairs. 

 

For the immediate future, we are just looking forward to getting it clean and organized - believe it or not, we think our 9yo will have an easier time keeping the room clean than his big brother :D.

[Brenda in MA]

We have more kids than bedrooms, so for the first couple, the younger sib was repurposing the room as the older one was moving out!

This was the situation at my house growing up. As soon as I left for college, a sib got my old bedroom. In my own family, we have the extra rooms, so we've just left my oldest's things in there for now. Hopefully, he'll have his own more permanent place in a year or so, and then we'll look to moving most of his things there and cleaning out the old stuff.

 

I don't see the point of leaving a room vacant if you have more kids than rooms. JMHO.

 

Brenda

[Laura in CA]

My plan is to eventually set up the room and space downstairs to rent to local college students.

I am toying with this idea. A homeschool mom I know told me that she rents out two beds each summer to college students who have summer jobs at the local national labs -- the kids have guaranteed salaries plus security clearances, so they're good risks. She said the going rate is at least $750 a month just for a bed somewhere in the house, so at $1500/mo, she made enough last summer to buy a car. It's very tempting, but I do like my space (she gives them limited kitchen privileges, etc.) ... But my college son may be home for a few weeks this summer, so obviously this isn't the time to start! :)

 

And I agree with PPs who said it's nice (if possible) for the student to have a room to come home to. That (tear-jerker) article that was posted here last fall said the number one fear of college students is not having their room to come back to. Like PPs, I've made my son's room into my office (it was wonderful to be able to spread out my piles when my younger son was applying to multiple colleges, scholarships, etc.! -- it saved my sanity!), moved the printer and WiFi into his room, used it as a guest room, etc. ... but his trophies, board games, etc. are still there. I did commandeer a shelf or two for my stuff ... :)

 

When I left for college, we had a small house and my brothers were both teenagers sharing a bunk bed in a small bedroom. I pictured my youngest brother moving into my room as we pulled out of the driveway to take me to college LOL. I didn't mind sleeping on the couch over breaks; it was just the way things were. But it's nice having a large-enough house to be able to keep my sons' rooms intact for now.

[dovrar]

All I could see of the title was "How long do you wait before repurposing a college kid" :smilielol5:

[Pawz4me]

I'll paint his room when DS goes to college in August.  Otherwise, everything will stay absolutely the same at least until he graduates, has a full-time job and a place of his own.  The same for youngest.  I don't ever want them to think they can't come back here, that this isn't their home.  The decision to permanently fly the coop will be for them to make, not me.  If we needed the room I would very likely think differently.  But in this house we've got enough bedrooms that our cats have a room of their own. ;)  It's possible we'll down size before both boys graduate from college, but we wouldn't down size so much that we didn't have enough bedrooms for all of us (the humans, not the cats ;)).  I'd move all their stuff and set up their rooms just like they are here.

[texasmama]

My three younger kids waited about ten minutes and moved in bookshelves and created a "library".  The rest of the room remained the same at that point.  Then my two boys, who have shared a room since son#2 was born, began having more conflict than usual and a friend gave me the advice to separate them.  I called dd at college and asked her if she minded her brother's loft bed being moved into her room, and she did not.  She was very gracious about the situation, in fact.  So now there is a loft bed over dd's bed, and she shares this sleeping space with her younger brother when she is here.  The only issue has been that the loft bed is metal and very creaky so the noises bother dd. 

 

My parents essentially left my room the same until I was launched (married) at 24 because there was no real reason to change it.  I loved that, so I wanted dd to always have a "room" to come home to.  It turns out that she is fine with having half a room.  :)  Whatever you do, I advise you to check in with your college kid about it. 

[Ravin]

I joined the Navy straight out of high school. My parents moved from the 4 bedroom home I grew up in to a three bedroom house a month later. I had to pack my stuff before I left.

 

My opinion: once they have their own real address--uni dorms don't count. But space in your shed/garage for their stuff? Until they really settle: marriage/kids.

[Guest]

We didn't have enough bedrooms, so I wasn't going to keep sleeping on the couch for the sake of a "dd museum" she was only going to use for two weeks out of the year.

 

When both of them were living elsewhere, the second bedroom became a "guest room" that both of them have been comfortable living in when they needed a safe place to land.

[Annie G]

The older two kids kept their room at home until they finished school and moved out. DD 3 has one more year of college but she (more than her sisters) feels left out when she's away at school and missing things here. She misses her younger brother, her cat, going to the movies with us, enjoying family dinners.   If we repurposed her room, or even redid it to not have all her stuff in it,  it would upset her. 

Ds, on the other hand, will be here another year and then going away to finish college. He won't care a bit if we redo his room, as long as he has a bed or futon to crash on when he comes back to visit. 

 

So...that was a long way of saying it depends on the kid. 

[creekland]

I just got thinking and realize "my" room at my mom's house is still "my" room even though I left for college about 30 years ago.  She never changed it other than to use some of it for storage.  My bed, my riding trophies/ribbons, my posters and school/4H awards, some old books, my radio, my piggy bank, and probably some other things I'm forgetting are still there.  It makes it feel like home when I go back there and I love it.

 

She still uses it as a guest room when others visit.  To my knowledge, no one has complained.

 

I really don't think I'll change much in my boys rooms until we move from here - whenever that is.

[Nan in Mass]

Wow.  I would have been devastated if my parents had taken my room away when I went off to college.  Going away to college was a big enough step as it was, without having my room, my place in my parents' house, gone.  This is obviously one of those family culture things. : )  The deal in our family is that the child has to clean up the space each time before leaving so we can use it while they are gone, but it remains their space and we have to have our stuff out when they want to use it.  So - I can spread out a project or nap on their bed or use it as a guest room, but not if they need it.  This seems to me to be a good compromise.  After graduation, won't the student need a place to live while they are looking for a job?  What if they get a permanent job near home and decide to continue to live at home?  What if college doesn't work out?  Or they get sick and need to come home for a semester?  Even if they aren't there using it, they still need a place to call home.  College housing, even off-campus apartments, isn't exactly permanent.  We freely change the use of our small amount of space to accommodate everyone.  We don't have enough rooms for everyone to have their own, but everyone has their own space and we try really hard not to change the location of that space while they are doing something new, like starting college.

 

OP - You asked about regrets... we weren't as good about this with our oldest.  He always had a bed in our house, his own bed, but we weren't as good about not changing anything when he was beginning something new.  We have some pretty bitter regrets about that.  All is great now but it took years to figure out this was a very bad idea for our family, despite a ton of reassurances that he would always be welcome to live with us.  I should have known.  I really should have known, judging by how my husband felt and how I felt.  I just hadn't yet quite grasped how much teenagers hear actions and don't hear words.  Words vanish too quickly, I think, while the results of actions remain visible.  But anyway...  We've always told our children two things.  They weren't linked and they were seldom discussed at the same time (not on purpose, just happened that way) - Everyone in this world who isn't a baby or an infirm old person has to work full time (student counts as work), and they were welcome to live with us forever.  Combined, they make a very nice family life. : )

 

Nan

[Kelly1730]

My daughter will be married for one year on the 25th of May and her room hasn't changed at all. Albeit, cleaner than when she lived there:) There is a double bed in there so it's used as a guest room when needed and she and her husband stay there when they come home. Now, when we had more kids than bedrooms, the next one in line moved in almost immediately upon the departure of the elder. In that house, the oldest child's room was in the basement. We always joked that once you moved into that room, it was the last stop before leaving home for good. We have five bedrooms and only two kids left at home but all the rooms are used in one way or another. We actually could use "more" rooms when the grandchildren are here for naps;).

[8filltheheart]

Wow.  I would have been devastated if my parents had taken my room away when I went off to college.  Going away to college was a big enough step as it was, without having my room, my place in my parents' house, gone.  This is obviously one of those family culture things. : )

 

 

Nan,

 

Would it be fair to have 2 girls in one room (15 and 20) and 3 girls in another room (12, 8 and 4) while leaving another bedroom completely empty 95% of the time waiting for someone to come home on visits?  

 

We gave him his own space for the past yr and a 1/2 so that he didn't have to share a room with our Aspie b/c he is incredibly difficult to live with (though they did share a room until we moved here.   We wanted him to be able to have his own space his sr yr)   But, the bunk beds are going back in our Aspie's room and they will have to share a room when he is here. 

[Nan in Mass]

Fair and logical didn't have much to do with my feelings at that age. : )

 

The original poster asked about regrets, so I answered honestly.  A little more honestly than I am comfortable with.

 

I think a lot depends on circumstances.  If your family has played musical rooms all the way along, then perhaps it won't a problem?  Many people obviously are able to manage having their room no longer be "their" room when they go off to college.  Look at all the posts above.  My family does not cope well with situation, although each child offered when they began college, knowing how crunched we are for space.  I didn't say everyone should do it my way.  I only explained how I would have felt, how my children feel/felt, how we have tried to do things in my family, and how that is working out for us.  As I said in my first post, I think this is a matter of family culture.

 

Nan

[jenn-]

I have designs on my DD's room and she is only 14!  She will have a bed and a chest of drawers to come home to.  It may not be in "her" room though.  She has the room with a walk in closet so I am sure the boys will want it when she is gone.

[Seasider]

Fair and logical didn't have much to do with my feelings at that age. : )

 

The original poster asked about regrets, so I answered honestly. A little more honestly than I am comfortable with.

 

I think a lot depends on circumstances. If your family has played musical rooms all the way along, then perhaps it won't a problem? Many people obviously are able to manage having their room no longer be "their" room when they go off to college. Look at all the posts above. My family does not cope well with situation, although each child offered when they began college, knowing how crunched we are for space. I didn't say everyone should do it my way. I only explained how I would have felt, how my children feel/felt, how we have tried to do things in my family, and how that is working out for us. As I said in my first post, I think this is a matter of family culture.

 

Nan

Nan, I appreciate what you shared!

 

I do believe that different space availability and the child's wishes play uniquely into each family's decision.

 

We do have space available, and (for the record!) I definitely decided to NOT do anything before now, after the second year of college. But for the second summer we are seeing a job take this young adult out of state for ten weeks, followed by an apartment in the fall. That's what got my thoughts going.

 

I think I will wait til he moves into that apartment to see exactly what remains in the home bedroom. We have told him he is welcome to take any and all furniture he wants to the apartment. If it continues to resemble his personal territory, I'm likely to leave it. If he pretty much clears it out, well, that may be the invitation I need.

 

I don't need the space for sibling bedrooms, each already has a room to him/her self. I was thinking of making it a study with a table, a homework room and center for our home based studies. I'd like to reclaim other parts of the house from the overflow!

 

You have all given me much to think about, thank you. Most of all you have helped me decide not to rush anything.

[ocelotmom]

All I could see of the title was "How long do you wait before repurposing a college kid" :smilielol5:

 

That's exactly why I clicked on the thread - I was really curious to know what it could possibly be about!

 

My parents repurposed my room into an office/guest room as soon as I left for college, but my stuff still stayed there. Some of it still is. Same with my brother's room - it got turned into storage (he sleeps in my old room when he visits), but he still has personal belongings in there.

 

At this point, the stuff that remains are things like childhood toys that the kids play with when we visit. Nothing that would be heartbreaking if it were disposed of, but (at this point) no huge reason to dispose of it, either.

 

DS will probably be out of his room as soon as he leaves. In fact, if he stays local, he may still get kicked out to our trailer/"guest house" (I can't see an adult child objecting to having a little more autonomy and privacy!). The 3 girls will be sharing a room, so it seems best to let them split up as soon as possible. (This is, of course, assuming we don't move to a bigger house, but I can't see us moving to a 5 bedroom house regardless.)

[Pawz4me]

I think I will wait til he moves into that apartment to see exactly what remains in the home bedroom. We have told him he is welcome to take any and all furniture he wants to the apartment. If it continues to resemble his personal territory, I'm likely to leave it. If he pretty much clears it out, well, that may be the invitation I need.

 

I think that's an excellent plan!

[texasmama]

I would not have changed my college girl's room without consulting her.  This was a key part of my plan, and she has been fine with any changes made with her involvement in making them.  She said that she just wanted to have a bed there and was okay with any other changes so we did that, and it has been fine.  She is okay with her brother sleeping in her bed while she is gone and moving to the loft bed in the room when she is here so she can have her old bed back.  If she had objected, I don't know exactly what I would have done because we were truly in a bind with the relationship between my boys deteriorating due to too much togetherness so I'm glad she did not object.  :)

[Jane in NC]

Clearly space availability and family culture are entering the equation here.

 

We have one child, a recent college grad.  His room remains His Room. Yes, others have slept in it.  Yes, I like to lay out my clothes on the bed there before I pack to go on a trip or play around with fabrics on that empty wide expanse of a bed. I suspect my son's life will be filled with comings and goings for a bit as he transitions to the next phase.  So his room is His Room when he is here and used for other purposes as life dictates when he is not.

[creekland]

At this point, the stuff that remains are things like childhood toys that the kids play with when we visit. Nothing that would be heartbreaking if it were disposed of, but (at this point) no huge reason to dispose of it, either.

 

Ooh, that's another thing that brought back memories.  At my mom's house, she also kept all our toys.  When my boys went there, they loved playing with them.  I loved watching them play with many of the same things I enjoyed playing with. (I never liked dolls, so no "Barbie" conflict - it was mainly board games and bricks/Lincoln logs/Tinker Toys, etc.)

 

That was passed down from the family tradition too.  My grandmother on my mom's side kept all the toys her six kids played with.  We grandchildren loved them.  Then my children loved them (her great-grandchildren).  Once one of her kids pointed out that she could probably get a mint from selling them to collectors and she told him in a VERY no-nonsense way that she didn't want money.  She wanted the toys to be played with.  In her case, those toys were also board games, farm equipment (the metal variety), farm animals, and Barbie/Ken types of stuff.

 

When she went into a nursing home most of her stuff was slated to go to the church thrift store.  I was able to rescue some of the old board games that my sister and I (then my kids) loved.  My kids have specific instructions that they aren't to be sold.

 

Many of my boys things are still in our house - or the attic.  When/if we move they'll have to make some decisions.  If we get grandkids first, the "stuff" will be pulled out for use.  ;)

[angela in ohio]

We aren't even waiting until she leaves. :D Dd shares a room with her 16 yo sister, and we know we will be moving her out and making the office into an extra guest room for her for visits and possibly summers, so we decided to just do it this summer. They have always shared, at older dd's request (she craves less solitude than her sister,) and so now it is middle dd's turn to have her own space after 16 years together. Oldest doesn't really care. We are not remotely sentimental people though. :D

[J-rap]

Because our house has always been a bedroom short and we always seem to have a lot of people coming and going, none of our kids has ever had a room that has always been "their" room.  They know they will always have a place to stay when they come home, and they are welcome to stay home as long as they want.  They are never guaranteed a certain room, although I will always fix up and try and make homey wherever they end up.  :)  Last year, we had a houseful and literally the only place left for one of my daughters for five months was on the back screen-porch upstairs.  We fixed it up nicely for her and it was her own little private area, but it did require lots of blankets when the weather started to change.  :)

[FaithManor]

When they get their own place. So our boys' rooms will remain as is until they get that first job post-college and move in.

[Jane in NC]

When they get their own place. So our boys' rooms will remain as is until they get that first job post-college and move in.

My son wants to do contract archaeology work so he'll need a base camp for his books, then live out of a backpack in a tent or motel for several weeks or months at a time.  Eventually, he might want his base camp (i.e. his book collection) in a place more central to his employment.  But in the beginning I am supportive of The Boy not paying rent to house his books while his per diem takes care of the meals and motel. 

 

He has a job in Britain for the summer. There are some interesting possibilities for the fall but we'll have to wait to see how things fall into place.

 

This is probably not that different for some other college grads out there.  Some fields offer few low level positions and expect grads to work for free as interns.  (This issue really gets my goat so I bring it up often.) One of my son's friends took a year after undergrad to add another language to his skill set.  He is attending grad school in the fall but had lived in his parent's home in the meantime.  Allowing a kid the opportunity to flow in and out of their home can offer comfort if they need it and certainly the opportunity to save a few bucks.

 

 

 

[FaithManor]

Jane, if my kids were in the same circumstances, they could live at home in their bedrooms for a long while as they built their careers. Dh and I just aren't the type to be in a hurry to "close the door".

 

But, given what my boys are going into, I expect they'll get apartments shortly after graduation though possibly my journalist wannabe may need to freelance for a bit in order to get a full time job. We are still in the process of researching his options. He kind of through us for a loop when he changed his intended major in March. Much better now than later! :)

 

My dd lives with her hubby in New Jersey. I miss her! Even though her room is now my quilt room, it would be her room again in a heartbeat if she needed it.

 

 

[AK_Mom4]

About 15 minutes?

 

I made DS22 clean out everything from the bedroom he shared with his brother before heading off to boot camp.  The things he wnted to keep got packed into plastic storage totes and moved to the attic room.  With him being in the air force, he comes to visit, but really won't live at home any more.

 

DD20 did the same thing - cleaned out her room that she shared with her sister right before she left for college her freshman year. She prefers to sleep inthe guest room when she is home for Christmas/summer.

 

DS18 gets to clean out his bedroom in July and box up all the things he wants to keep.  The room the boys shared is showing some wear after all these years, so I intend to put DS18 to work touching up the paint and moving furniture.  I intend to line one wall with book shelves and put my overflow of books in that room, along with a new bed and a good desk.  Then I will probably move DD13 into that room while I re-do hers over the winter.

 

 

 

[Guest]

All I could see of the title was "How long do you wait before repurposing a college kid" :smilielol5:

 

I repurposed one into a pretty decent best offline friend, but it took a few years and a few tears along the way.

 

:smilielol5:

[Nan in Mass]

Just in case this is a useful suggestion, given the high cost of college - Ours are living at home after college as a way of paying off their school loans fast.  We can't pay the loans themselves because we're dealing with youngest's college expenses still, but they are saving hundreds of dollars a month by living at home after college.  And like Jane, some of ours have jobs where they are away alot that don't allow them to bring any stuff.  It makes sense for them to continue to make our house their home base after college.  (Not meant as a criticism or anything else.  It's just one way of saving money for our family that might possibly match somebody else's family circumstances enough to be helpful, if they haven't happened to think of it.)

 

Nan

[Seasider]

Well, med school is the current plan for after college, but his chances of living at home then are slim. If he does happen to get into a nearby program, he is welcome to live here to save money. However, if that were to happen, we would change things up anyway to give him a different part of the house that would have private access and quieter study space. I'm thinking that's really a longshot, though.

 

I think the field archaeology sounds fascinating, Jane!

[creekland]

I repurposed one into a pretty decent best offline friend, but it took a few years and a few tears along the way.

 

:smilielol5:

 

For a couple of months, one of mine has been repurposed into a farm hand, work, and household assistant.  He's really good at it and makes life both easier and fun.

 

But sooner or later he'll leave again... and I'll be happy for him while missing him tremendously.

 

My oldest has been repurposed to be a husband and manager of a business... I get to skip straight to the happy but miss him stage.

 

Youngest is soon to be repurposed into a college student.  He's been wanting it since middle left.

 

Life is going to be so different for us starting mid Aug. (sigh)

 

[MysteryJen]

We have always told the kids that they were welcome to live with us, as needed. And I do expect them to come back after graduation to live rent free while paying off loans as quickly as they can.

 

But it might be in a different room. And for the youngest, maybe in a different house.

[texasmama]

My kids are welcome to live with us, as well, whether after college, after kids, etc.  My dh and I lived with my parents for nine months with one child while we were building our current house, and I am grateful for that time with them.  My mom passed away six years later so it is doubly precious now.  Our second child was conceived while living with my parents.  They were the first people we told after the positive pregnancy test, sitting in the living room of the house where I grew up.  It was an unexpected event, but they were thrilled, and it was lovely to share that news with them in person and right after we found out.

 

In my dreams, we build a small guesthouse next to our current large home and move into it in our older years and let the kids (some of them, anyway ;) ) live in our house.  We are on four acres so this is actually feasible.  Being a mother has been the very best part of my life, and I anticipate even better stuff being a grandmother so I want to be open and available to my adult kids, their spouses and their kids like my parents were to me and my brother.

 

Yes, I know all the things that can make this dream not happen, but it is free of charge for me to have it for now so I will.  :)  And with four kids, chances are that at least one or two might live nearby and have kids and be a frequent part of our lives.

 

 

[katilac]

I anticipate both of my kids being home for at least winter and summer breaks, and almost every weekend is probably more likely, lol. There are no plans to repurpose their rooms when they go off to college. It's just the two of them, 2 grades apart, each in their own bedroom now, so it's an easy enough decision to make. 

 

Because of their personality, and the fact that they've lived in this house since they were born, I know it would be very difficult for them if we did repurpose, so I'm glad it won't be a big issue. Certainly we'll use the rooms for guests, storage, and projects when they're gone, but I know they will find a lot of safety and comfort in being able to come home to their own rooms. 

 

I think teens can certainly see the difference between "your younger siblings really need more room" and "woo hoo, I have an office now!" They will survive both scenarios, but the first one is easier to accept. 

 

[skreader]

DD will leave for the USA on  Wed. August 20th; her orientation starts on Aug. 22. When she leaves she will be taking her clothes, some of her books & decorations & her other belongings. The wardrobe, desk, & bed will stay.   There's not that much else there.

 

She knows that either DS will move in, or it will become a study & guest room. If DS moves to that room, his room will become the study/guest room.  We will probably do the cleaning and any shifting on the weekend of the 23rd, so - 3 days in our case.

 

We have no idea when she will come back. Definietly not this X-mas (plane tickets are very expensive!) & DH, DD, and I will visit the USA in summer 2015 for DD's college tour. 

 

When my sibs & I moved out of our mom's  in our late teens, they re-purposed the rooms (before they moved). I never felt emotional about it; it seemed reasonable that if I no longer lived their full-time that the rooms should have other functions.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Atilla the Mom]

I have maintained my eldest's bedroom until now, but I am going to repurpose it as a guest room/sewing center this summer.  Her little sister wants her big sister's double bed for her own room, and so there will be her sister's twin bed in my eldest's room if she needs it. However, at this point my eldest dd is 23, a college graduate, has been living outside the home since leaving for college in 2008 (although she continues to store stuff at our place), and plans to marry this October. Her fiance owns a house.  The knowledge that she could always go home has, i think, been helpful to her but at this point, she wishes to strike roots of her own.

 

I took my brother's room when he left for college; until then I had shared with my sister. My parents repurposed both rooms into a guest room and a guest room/study when we left for college.  I kinda did feel bad about that, however, which is one of the reasons why I maintained my eldest dd's room.

[idnib]

I don't know the answer but don't ask my mom this question. We grew up in a house with a bedroom for my parents, a bed room for each kid, and an extra room we considered a reading room until personal computing became a thing and it became more of an office. When the kids moved out my parents didn't need the extra rooms and the rooms' best purpose was as guest rooms so they didn't need any changes. 

 

The rooms look exactly the same as they ever have, including the same books on the shelves, the same stuff in the drawers, the same suitcases in the closets. They did changed the metallic blinds to wooden shutters.

 

I graduated from university over 20 years ago. Basically my parents have gone full "Miss Havisham" on us, no matter how much we tell them to do something else with the rooms. Never go full Havisham.  :cool:

 

 

[katilac]

 

The rooms look exactly the same as they ever have, including the same books on the shelves, the same stuff in the drawers, the same suitcases in the closets.  

 

Now all I can think of is the Saturday Night Live skit about childhood bedrooms. Warning: NSFW, NSFK, inappropriate in the extreme, but will cure you of any desire to go full Miss Havisham on childhood bedrooms  :lol:

 

http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/do-it-on-my-twin-bed/n44605

[Guest]

I don't know the answer but don't ask my mom this question. We grew up in a house with a bedroom for my parents, a bed room for each kid, and an extra room we considered a reading room until personal computing became a thing and it became more of an office. When the kids moved out my parents didn't need the extra rooms and the rooms' best purpose was as guest rooms so they didn't need any changes. 

 

The rooms look exactly the same as they ever have, including the same books on the shelves, the same stuff in the drawers, the same suitcases in the closets. They did changed the metallic blinds to wooden shutters.

 

I graduated from university over 20 years ago. Basically my parents have gone full "Miss Havisham" on us, no matter how much we tell them to do something else with the rooms. Never go full Havisham.  :cool:

 

That's how it's done in my mother's family too. I thought it was cute when I was a kid visiting Grandmom's house staying in my mom's old room and expecting her teenaged self to walk in any minute and ask me WTF I was doing there and who I was.

 

When she did it to my old room it was creepy and sad and uncomfortable and had a very negative impact on my visit.