"As the School Turns"... continuing the saga - talked with Head

[AimeeM]

Well, that was an interesting pick-up. Apparently today during pow-wow, something set DD off and she started crying and told the group (2 teachers, Head, and her upper school classmates) that her parents might pull her because of how she's been treated. Head handled it well, and asked for the students to give their opinions of her leaving - and they were all very upset by the idea.

 

When I came to pick her up, the science teacher told me that Head wanted to talk to me. Head Dude came out, and said that DD stated she might be pulled. I was going to wait to talk to him privately but I figured - hey, now's as good a time as any.

 

Basic outline:

 

1) From the context of the conversation I gathered that he's not, since opening the school, needed to consider the medical needs that might be exclusive to a girl. He said that he's worked something out where she can stay all day, on their half days in June, to make up some time - there are naturally either teachers or himself on site all day, even on half days, for after care. For next year, he just asks that we get something that others here have mentioned - a note, of some kind, from the doctor, simply outlining that she may need to be out more often than is normal, that she is having some GI/Other issues; it doesn't need to be an absence note, per se, rather just a letter stating that there are ongoing issues in the process of being dealt with.

 

2) I told him that we were seeing no progress in writing and spelling. Now, in general there is a valid reason why most similar K-8 schools (for children with dyslexia) do not take children after grade 6... the other students have had years of dedicated tutoring and the coursework is starting to ramp up after grade 6, in order to prep them for neurotypical high school. Honestly, that makes sense. He threw out the idea of, next year, should she continue there, adding an additional tutorial session to her day.

 

3) Addressing the math issues. Autumn sight reads - she has weak phonics skills; that is why her spelling is so poor. Apparently he thinks that the reason she's struggling now in math, despite having covered these things at home, is because her vocabulary isn't great (because what she reads, that she doesn't know by sight, she skips over if she can't sound out) and at this stage of the game, a lot is focused on higher math vocabulary before throwing the children into Algebra. Could somebody experienced in maths verify this for me? Is this accurate? If accurate, I understand a bit more why DD complains that the teacher is "making things more difficult than they need to be".

 

4) The conversation reads that the reason he didn't have her call home when ill is because he was desperately trying to keep her on campus so that he could mark her as present; he knows that paying tuition is a sacrifice for us, and apparently he does offer a saturday school option for too many absences - at about $150 a pop (he has to pay a teacher to stay with them). He knows that this would not be possible for us to pay several times over. He went about it in the wrong way, but I don't think his intent was cruel or even indifferent to DD.

 

I'm not sure where to go with this. Is this what everyone was talking about when they spoke of "new school" issues? Are "new school" issues only resolved when a problem crops up, and then taken care of? When the staff has never been in a situation, is then unsure of how to handle it, but then makes dedicated effort to correct those issues for the next year? Is this the only way for a new school with communication issues to evolve into a functional school situation? He seemed very sincere in his efforts to bend over backwards to make next year happen.

 

Bah. Sigh. And all that mess. Ma's a confused bundle of nerves right now.

[school17777]

Sounds like he is willing to work with you on the absences and be more understanding about them in the future.

 

I guess you have to decide if you want to make going to that school work out, or if you are set in bringing dd home.

[Incognito]

From what you have said in other threads and how she is doing, I would not have her back next year. Personally, I don't think I'd finish out the year.  I don't see why you need to.  She isn't in high school, so you don't need it for a transcript.  

 

It's a tight community, close friendships, etc.  Of course they don't want her to leave.  And the Headmaster of course doesn't want 1/18th of his student body to leave, especially with a bad taste in their mouth.  But how the others feel and what they want isn't what is most important for you or your family. 

 

The idea of her coming in extra to just have her body there more hours (on Saturday or at the end of the year) makes no sense to me.  Why? 

[shawthorne44]

I'd be riled that it took the thought of you guys not coming back next year for him to offer suggestions.  I guess for most families his school is the end of the road, no other options.  

 

Were the person that talked about the their kid's math class being taught by an English teacher?  Or maybe social studies?  Somebody mentioned there being a lot of vocab in math class and I thought that was totally nuts.  

[Chris in VA]

Forgive me, I'm not as generous as you.

 

He asked the opinions of the group of kids re DD staying? REALLY?

 

That sends my radar into overdrive. I find it inappropriate and unprofessional. I see it as pressuring your DD, albeit indirectly.

 

It's nice that he's being more sensitive and all, but still--his excuse for not letting your child call home just.doesn't.cut.it. It's like the king in Aladdin saying The law says you must marry a prince! How stupid, as he is the one making the law (which to his credit, he realizes later). So to me, your Headmaster doesn't have the sense of a cartoon character...(Not to be harsh--I know, it's a stupid illustration, but still.)

 

I just don't think you should stay there next year. It sounds like you are leaning that way much more, and I just want to tell you to...run.

[AimeeM]

I'd be riled that it took the thought of you guys not coming back next year for him to offer suggestions.  I guess for most families his school is the end of the road, no other options.  

 

Were the person that talked about the their kid's math class being taught by an English teacher?  Or maybe social studies?  Somebody mentioned there being a lot of vocab in math class and I thought that was totally nuts.  

 

Yes, she formerly taught literature, but I edited the post after I talked to her - she is certified to teach through Trig.

[AimeeM]

It's some kind of "pow-wow" thing where the kids talk about how they feel about school, etc. To clarify, he asked the for their opinions on how that made them feel (part of DD's suddenly "down" feelings are because of some drama with one boy in particular, who is apparently in love with her, and has started to make her days very difficult since finding out that she "doesn't date", lol). I'm not sure how I feel about that (asking their opinions), personally, because I know that *I* would feel pressured - it actually made DD feel good and better about the situation.

 

I do *not* like how he insists on talking to me in front of DD. I understand that for the sake of ensuring the children are always honest in their accusations ("my mom doesn't like how I'm being treated"), he always insists that the accusation be made in front of the person being accused (this doesn't, of course, apply to sexual harassment, etc). It makes me uncomfortable at times, but I see the value in it - but, still, there are certain things to be discussed between adults that I do not want my 12 year old involved directly in.

Forgive me, I'm not as generous as you.

 

He asked the opinions of the group of kids re DD staying? REALLY?

 

That sends my radar into overdrive. I find it inappropriate and unprofessional. I see it as pressuring your DD, albeit indirectly.

 

It's nice that he's being more sensitive and all, but still--his excuse for not letting your child call home just.doesn't.cut.it. It's like the king in Aladdin saying The law says you must marry a prince! How stupid, as he is the one making the law (which to his credit, he realizes later). So to me, your Headmaster doesn't have the sense of a cartoon character...(Not to be harsh--I know, it's a stupid illustration, but still.)

 

I just don't think you should stay there next year. It sounds like you are leaning that way much more, and I just want to tell you to...run.

 

[AimeeM]

"and these are the days of our lives"

 

That's what I thought....Dunno what to make of that either.

 

Lol.

 

And I'm not sure what to make of it either. My husband is a much tougher cookie than I - me thinks I'll turn it all over to him.

 

[shawthorne44]

Yes, she formerly taught literature, but I edited the post after I talked to her - she is certified to teach through Trig.

 

At least in my state, certified in math means met the normal teacher certification and she passed the math test.  Doesn't mean she can actually teach math.  

The fact that she put some much time/effort into vocab in a math class shows that she shouldn't have been teaching that class.   

[AimeeM]

At least in my state, certified in math means met the normal teacher certification and she passed the math test.  Doesn't mean she can actually teach math.  

The fact that she put some much time/effort into vocab in a math class shows that she shouldn't have been teaching that class.   

 

I'm not sure. There was some disagreement on that thread when I posted it, if I remember correctly. With dyslexic children who have a very difficult time with vocab, especially more difficult vocab as it relates to math or other subjects outside of explicit reading instruction, would the focus NEED to be increased? That's where I'm confused.

[Jean in Newcastle]

2 issues:

 

1.  This special school does not appear to be specifically or at least successfully addressing her special needs with learning disabilities.  This would be a deal breaker for me.

 

2.  The Headmaster does not appear to have the wisdom necessary for the head of a school, even a very small one like this.  This isn't quite a deal-breaker but it does put out some pretty big red flags.  

 

And one more thing:

 

I would not have discussed the possibility of pulling her out with my 12 year old (who also has learning issues).  It would throw my daughter into turmoil even if it were a good thing for her.  

[AimeeM]

2 issues:

 

1.  This special school does not appear to be specifically or at least successfully addressing her special needs with learning disabilities.  This would be a deal breaker for me. Do you mean her dyslexia or her medical? If you mean the medical, totally agree. If you mean the dyslexia, I'm not sure where to go with that. I do know that it's common for the K-8 dyslexia schools to not accept students this late, for this reason, and I do know that he gives parents the option of having their child "stay an extra year" if the staff doesn't believe they are capable of outputting high school work without significant struggle. He did offer a solution, but I'm not sure how I feel about it and I'm going to defer to my husband on that. DH is better at reading people and their sincere intent.

 

2.  The Headmaster does not appear to have the wisdom necessary for the head of a school, even a very small one like this.  This isn't quite a deal-breaker but it does put out some pretty big red flags.  Actually, what threw us with these issues is that he successfully headed a similar school for many, many, many, many years; prior to that he sat on school department heads for specialized schools like this one, and taught in them. That's why were all *insert crazy eyed emoticon* with what is happening now. It just seems nuts.

 

And one more thing:

 

I would not have discussed the possibility of pulling her out with my 12 year old (who also has learning issues).  It would throw my daughter into turmoil even if it were a good thing for her.  Gently disagreeing. We know our daughter best and it has been proven many times over that, with our DD, if she doesn't own her education, at least on some level, and feels she has no say in her education, things go downhill quickly. The reason she is at the school is because she was miserable at home - I would never make a decision like this without first talking to her about it. That isn't to say that she has final say, on any level, but we definitely wanted her input before we talked to the Head or made any decisions.

 

 

[Jean in Newcastle]

 

Perhaps I'm misunderstanding.  I thought you said that there was no progress in writing or spelling and it is now towards the end of the school year.  Even for a special needs student in a specially designed program, I would expect some progress of some kind.  

 

You said that she's struggling in math and that she feels like the teacher is making things more difficult.  Again - I would expect a specially designed program to use a variety of individualized approaches so that while she might still struggle, she wouldn't feel so frustrated.

 

I wrote what I would do with my daughter because it would have had the outcome you experienced.  Obviously I don't know your daughter.  

[AimeeM]

Perhaps I'm misunderstanding.  I thought you said that there was no progress in writing or spelling and it is now towards the end of the school year.  Even for a special needs student in a specially designed program, I would expect some progress of some kind.  You're absolutely spot on there. It our biggest concern, alongside the medical.

 

You said that she's struggling in math and that she feels like the teacher is making things more difficult.  Again - I would expect a specially designed program to use a variety of individualized approaches so that while she might still struggle, she wouldn't feel so frustrated. Again correct. He is saying that she is struggling with mastered concepts now that the vocabulary for the concepts is being re-introduced alongside some more advanced vocabulary before Algebra 1. They have to take standardized tests, so I'm assuming this comes into play there and I do know that my dd DOES struggle with vocabulary. I'm not sure how valid his statements were on that note, which is why I asked if anyone could verify (or clarify, lol) for me.

 

I wrote what I would do with my daughter because it would have had the outcome you experienced.  Obviously I don't know your daughter.  I totally understand. Our dd is the opposite - she would have been thrown into turmoil had we NOT talked to her first.

 

[Incognito]

I don't understand why you feel the need to defer to the headmaster on how people behave and treat one another.  If you don't want to talk about it all in front of your DD, you shouldn't have to.  It's like you are treating him like he is your Dad and you have to listen to him or something - I mean, of course, be polite, but he really isn't any better than you (and his credentials aside, he seems less competent than you in handling your daughter's education).

 

[MFG]

Do you know why he left his previous situation?

[AimeeM]

I do want to clarify that my stance hasn't changed - I still feel, right now, that she would do better at home next year (physically, academically, and emotionally). I'm just trying to process and, of course, update the hive, lol.

[AimeeM]

I don't understand why you feel the need to defer to the headmaster on how people behave and treat one another.  If you don't want to talk about it all in front of your DD, you shouldn't have to.  It's like you are treating him like he is your Dad and you have to listen to him or something - I mean, of course, be polite, but he really isn't any better than you (and his credentials aside, he seems less competent than you in handling your daughter's education).

 

I didn't immediately know why he wanted to talk to me in front of DD - I usually don't until it's already being said. There have been times I've sent her from the room in the past.

[AimeeM]

Do you know why he left his previous situation?

 

I do (what I've heard). He had an excellent reputation there, but had always wanted a school that more closely followed the school he "grew up" teaching at, and knew that only founding his own school would give him that opportunity. He wanted a school that was more "pure" in terms of issues addressed (i.e. not accepting students with major dx's outside of learning differences, because they weren't qualified to handle such students), so that more could be done, and essentially he just wanted his own school, I think.

[JumpyTheFrog]

So you think in terms of health, emotions, and academics she'd do better at home? Plus it would save you money and the time spent driving there? I think you have your answer about what to do next year…(unless there's some reason that teaching her yourself isn't possible for you right now)

[AimeeM]

So you think in terms of health, emotions, and academics she'd do better at home? Plus it would save you money and the time spent driving there? I think you have your answer about what to do next year…(unless there's some reason that teaching her yourself isn't possible for you right now)

 

Not impossible, but not ideal either (me teaching her). Our relationship suffered a very hard blow the last year she was at home - between her hormones and my patience levels... her being elsewhere has, if nothing else, rekindled our very close relationship. I believe her exact words, which is what brought us to find this school, were "Right now, I just need you to be my mom - not my teacher, not both". She did very well in the couple years at home BEFORE puberty, but after? Not so much. Unfortunately, we haven't much of a choice. She will not have the time for OG tutoring in the Catholic school, while they try to be as helpful as they can, there is very little they have as far as resources go, and we'd have to hold her back a year. The public schools here do not recognize dyslexia as a special need - it's a learning disability, yes, but they haven't even so much as a reading specialist on staff, much less an OG trained tutor.

Right now, I need to come to terms with that I may indeed be putting a strain on our relationship, again, for just one more year (or two) so that she can get up to par. I cherish my daughter - she's my only daughter. The thought of a repeat of her last year at home makes me want to cry. Unfortunately, there really is little I can outsource, as (with her learning differences) she still needs direct teacher support/interaction in at least several subjects.

I can only pray that we've made enough headway to overcome any hormone related problems that crop up.

 

Tentatively I plan to outsource math if I can, apologetics if I can, and I'd love to find a slow moving IEW co-op class for her.

 

Crap. Sorry for the book. I took one statement of yours and kind of ran off with it.

[bettyandbob]

Regarding math:

 

If you are not reading, ok, with some phonics skills math will be difficult by the time you are your dd's age, if not sooner. 

 

Math does not consist of number only problems in a vacuum. There are word problems. There are written explanations of concepts. There is a vocabulary associated with these things. I've seen this myself teaching math. 

 

Years ago there was a school district in Georgia (I think) that had the lowest or near lowest achievement scores in reading and math. Then in one year the district made the largest percentage point change in the country in one particular grade. Naturally, people took notice. In an interview on NBC (maybe Dateline), the superintendent explained that they had thrown everything aside, retrained all the teachers in that grade in a program by the people who make Reading Reflex (I forget the name of the version for schools--phono graphix maybe) and pretty much focused on that. Well, that was a plausible explanation for reading scores but math improved significantly too. The superintendent said, "we found that after the students could read the math problems, they could do them." So, they did not do special intervention in math. The follow up was the district was going to institute what they had done across all grades until they only needed to really worry about reading instruction for K-3.  

 

What is the school's approach to reading. Are they doing multisensory instruction?

[JumpyTheFrog]

It's okay. I couldn't remember why you put her in the school in the first place, but I hoped there might be a reason why you've put up with their nonsense for so long.

[JumpyTheFrog]

I'm a big math person, but if reading is giving her so much trouble, I'd put math on the back burner (not ignore it, but go slowly) until the reading is doing much better. Being a decent reader is more important than getting to algebra in 9th grade.

[EKS]

A school for kids with dyslexia should be able to accommodate the math issue.  If she can't read the problems, someone should read them to her.

[AimeeM]

Yes, multisensory/OG pure. Thank you for this! I needed to clarify what Head Dude was trying to say (sometimes he gets excited, lol).

Regarding math:

 

If you are not reading, ok, with some phonics skills math will be difficult by the time you are your dd's age, if not sooner. 

 

Math does not consist of number only problems in a vacuum. There are word problems. There are written explanations of concepts. There is a vocabulary associated with these things. I've seen this myself teaching math. 

 

Years ago there was a school district in Georgia (I think) that had the lowest or near lowest achievement scores in reading and math. Then in one year the district made the largest percentage point change in the country in one particular grade. Naturally, people took notice. In an interview on NBC (maybe Dateline), the superintendent explained that they had thrown everything aside, retrained all the teachers in that grade in a program by the people who make Reading Reflex (I forget the name of the version for schools--phono graphix maybe) and pretty much focused on that. Well, that was a plausible explanation for reading scores but math improved significantly too. The superintendent said, "we found that after the students could read the math problems, they could do them." So, they did not do special intervention in math. The follow up was the district was going to institute what they had done across all grades until they only needed to really worry about reading instruction for K-3.  

 

What is the school's approach to reading. Are they doing multisensory instruction?

 

[AimeeM]

A school for kids with dyslexia should be able to accommodate the math issue.  If she can't read the problems, someone should read them to her.

 

Well, no, not exactly. The school exists to give the children the skills they need to read, write, etc for themselves. They could have accommodations anywhere - the school exists to help them not need accommodations, kwim?

But I also want to address that it isn't just a reading issue - it's a comprehension and working memory issue for a lot of these kids; they not only struggle to sometimes read the word, but to remember the definition for that word.

Autumn didn't memorize her multiplication tables until October of this year - she's 12. Working memory plays a huge role in her struggles.

[AimeeM]

I'm a big math person, but if reading is giving her so much trouble, I'd put math on the back burner (not ignore it, but go slowly) until the reading is doing much better. Being a decent reader is more important than getting to algebra in 9th grade.

 

Actually, she's an excellent reader - but she sight reads, which limits her intake of new vocabulary; because phonics is such a struggle for her, she often skips words that she doesn't know - and her spelling is horrible. They can't put math on the back burner, as they have state regs to uphold; in our state that means instruction in language arts, maths, history, science, etc.

Do you mean at home put it on the back burner? If so, I can't either. We also have state regs and a portfolio needed.

[flyingiguana]

If they're worried about math scores on standardized tests, then there is a big vocabulary issue. A lot of times kids know how to do the math problems, but they just don't know what the word "product" means, for example. So they'll miss all those problems.

 

So if they're trying to prepare for standardized tests, it makes sense they'd worry about that.

[AimeeM]

If they're worried about math scores on standardized tests, then there is a big vocabulary issue. A lot of times kids know how to do the math problems, but they just don't know what the word "product" means, for example. So they'll miss all those problems.

 

So if they're trying to prepare for standardized tests, it makes sense they'd worry about that.

 

I don't think they care about the scores as much as they do about the confidence factor. For many of these children, especially when they come to the school initially, they feel stupid, worthless, and like they can't do much right - the older the incoming student, the worse it seems to be. If they were to come to a standardized test where they knew few of the answers, or couldn't understand the questions, they would be in tears.

Now, if I'm not mistaken, the students have testing accommodations (at least the younger grades). I know that each student had their own private proctor/tutor for the testing (to give the test) - I *think* that with most of the students, they were allowed to read the question to the student, in math for example, but I'm pretty sure they were not allowed to define words (obviously, lol).

[TechWife]

Well, no, not exactly. The school exists to give the children the skills they need to read, write, etc for themselves. They could have accommodations anywhere - the school exists to help them not need accommodations, kwim?

 

How are they teaching the skills, then, if they are not accommodating? Don't they have to start where the student is functioning currently? There are certain disabilities that will always require accommodation. I was under the impression that dyslexia was one of them, but it's an uneducated impression, honestly.  

 

This is reminding me of the private, Christian school ds used to attend. The first grade teacher had not started addition with the students, yet she was having them memorize their addition math facts. When I asked her about it, believing my son (and others) would remember better if what they were doing was reinforced through the curriculum, her statement was "He should just write 2 + 2 = 4 because I told him 2 + 2 = 4. If he doesn't do that, he's being disobedient." Yeah, right. 

[AimeeM]

How are they teaching the skills, then, if they are not accommodating? Don't they have to start where the student is functioning currently? There are certain disabilities that will always require accommodation. I was under the impression that dyslexia was one of them, but it's an uneducated impression, honestly.  

 

This is reminding me of the private, Christian school ds used to attend. The first grade teacher had not started addition with the students, yet she was having them memorize their addition math facts. When I asked her about it, believing my son (and others) would remember better if what they were doing was reinforced through the curriculum, her statement was "He should just write 2 + 2 = 4 because I told him 2 + 2 = 4. If he doesn't do that, he's being disobedient." Yeah, right. 

 

Of course they need to accommodate initially, but along the way they have to teach them to learn how to do it for themselves - especially the older children, who haven't the luxury of 5 more years of OG tutoring in such an environment. Sure, they all qualify to have problems read to them, but if they can't decode them, and they struggle with working memory issues which makes it difficult to memorize them, reading the question isn't going to do much good, kwim? In a standardized testing situation (from which these children are not exempt, as per the state), even with accommodations the tutor can read the question, the tutor cannot DEFINE words, if I'm not mistaken.

And no, dyslexia does not always require accommodations - well, not as in a "forever" type of gig. Many students, after years of OG tutoring, go on to neurotypical high schools and excellent universities with absolutely no accommodations. You CAN teach a dyslexic child how to read, write, and spell - it's blood, sweat, and tears, but generally you can.

 

[EKS]

Well, no, not exactly. The school exists to give the children the skills they need to read, write, etc for themselves. They could have accommodations anywhere - the school exists to help them not need accommodations, kwim?

But I also want to address that it isn't just a reading issue - it's a comprehension and working memory issue for a lot of these kids; they not only struggle to sometimes read the word, but to remember the definition for that word.

Autumn didn't memorize her multiplication tables until October of this year - she's 12. Working memory plays a huge role in her struggles.

 

I have a kid with dyslexia, so I get that the goal is for them to do academic tasks by themselves.  But on the road to that goal, it really helps to give accommodations for stuff like reading math problems.  When the reading gets up to speed, it will automatically transfer to reading everything, including math problems.  But it doesn't make sense to hold back a child in math due to reading issues.  There are also accommodations you can make for working memory--having a child do a problem orally while the teacher/adult helper writes down intermediates, for example.  Or if definitions are a problem, simply remind the child of it.  Everything does not have to be a struggle all the time.  It's ok to help.

 

 

[AimeeM]

I have a kid with dyslexia, so I get that the goal is for them to do academic tasks by themselves.  But on the road to that goal, it really helps to give accommodations for stuff like reading math problems.  When the reading gets up to speed, it will automatically transfer to reading everything, including math problems.  But it doesn't make sense to hold back a child in math due to reading issues.  There are also accommodations you can make for working memory--having a child do a problem orally while the teacher/adult helper writes down intermediates, for example.  Or if definitions are a problem, simply remind the child of it.  Everything does not have to be a struggle all the time.  It's ok to help.

 

From what I understand, they aren't intentionally holding the children back - they are cementing definitions and vocabulary that weren't focused on before. Yes, they can read the problem to them if need be (I'm not sure what each child has, so far as accommodations), they can even have the child dictate answers, but on standardized tests they are not allowed to define vocabulary when the definition of that vocabulary word directly pertains to the problem (i.e. "which is the numerator/denominator", "find the product", "define ----").

I spent years reminding DD of her multiplication facts. It didn't do a lick of good, frankly. It wasn't until her math tutor dedicated an entire month's worth of private lessons to nothing but drilling those facts that she can now recall them.

[EKS]

I spent years reminding DD of her multiplication facts. It didn't do a lick of good, frankly. It wasn't until her math tutor dedicated an entire month's worth of private lessons to nothing but drilling those facts that she can now recall them.

 

Of course there is such a thing as too much help.  I'm not saying that one should forgo drill work and just remind the kid all the time.  What I'm saying is that while waiting for the drill to sink in (or the phonics lessons or whatever), it's ok to remind (or read aloud or whatever).

 

[AimeeM]

Of course there is such a thing as too much help.  I'm not saying that one should forgo drill work and just remind the kid all the time.  What I'm saying is that while waiting for the drill to sink in (or the phonics lessons or whatever), it's ok to remind (or read aloud or whatever).

 

 

I absolutely agree. I think the position they're in is one where the previous teacher didn't teach the vocabulary enough that the children could excel moving forward or feel confident on tests. I did notice that while DD was flying through diagnostic tests in math, she could not (prior to the second semester) define a numerator vs a denominator - obviously going to be an issue on state tests, lol.

[mom2samlibby]

Not impossible, but not ideal either (me teaching her). Our relationship suffered a very hard blow the last year she was at home - between her hormones and my patience levels... her being elsewhere has, if nothing else, rekindled our very close relationship. I believe her exact words, which is what brought us to find this school, were "Right now, I just need you to be my mom - not my teacher, not both". She did very well in the couple years at home BEFORE puberty, but after? Not so much. Unfortunately, we haven't much of a choice. She will not have the time for OG tutoring in the Catholic school, while they try to be as helpful as they can, there is very little they have as far as resources go, and we'd have to hold her back a year. The public schools here do not recognize dyslexia as a special need - it's a learning disability, yes, but they haven't even so much as a reading specialist on staff, much less an OG trained tutor.

Right now, I need to come to terms with that I may indeed be putting a strain on our relationship, again, for just one more year (or two) so that she can get up to par. I cherish my daughter - she's my only daughter. The thought of a repeat of her last year at home makes me want to cry. Unfortunately, there really is little I can outsource, as (with her learning differences) she still needs direct teacher support/interaction in at least several subjects.

I can only pray that we've made enough headway to overcome any hormone related problems that crop up.

 

Tentatively I plan to outsource math if I can, apologetics if I can, and I'd love to find a slow moving IEW co-op class for her.

 

Crap. Sorry for the book. I took one statement of yours and kind of ran off with it.

 

I'm wondering if some of the struggle between you and your daughter came from not understanding dyslexia well enough.   My son is dyslexic and when he was younger he used to frustrate me to no end.  I couldn't understand WHY he was the way he was.  I didn't  understand why he couldn't pick up a book and read it.  I couldn't understand at all the way his brain worked.  Now, that I have learned quite a bit about dyslexia and the amazing "gift" that he has, it has helped me to parent and teach him.   I attended a presentation by Susan Barton a couple of years ago and I was just amazed by both the wonder of a dyslexics brain, but also the limitations & struggles that they have.  There a quite a few good books about dyslexia that have helped me understand my child and the way he thinks much better.  From what I've read, drilling multiplication facts will not help a dyslexic learn them.  

 

 

 

Actually, she's an excellent reader - but she sight reads, which limits her intake of new vocabulary; because phonics is such a struggle for her, she often skips words that she doesn't know - and her spelling is horrible. They can't put math on the back burner, as they have state regs to uphold; in our state that means instruction in language arts, maths, history, science, etc.

Do you mean at home put it on the back burner? If so, I can't either. We also have state regs and a portfolio needed.

 

If she is reading by sight, she has taught herself how to work around some of her disability.  It sounds like she has hit the wall that many dyslexics hit after they have reached 3 - 5 syllable words, which means that sight reading will no longer work.  How are they teaching phonics and reading at this school?  I was under the impression from what you have said that it is to help teach dyslexics coping skills and mechanisms, but if she isn't making progress, what are they doing for these students that is different?

 

I don't think they care about the scores as much as they do about the confidence factor. For many of these children, especially when they come to the school initially, they feel stupid, worthless, and like they can't do much right - the older the incoming student, the worse it seems to be. If they were to come to a standardized test where they knew few of the answers, or couldn't understand the questions, they would be in tears.

Now, if I'm not mistaken, the students have testing accommodations (at least the younger grades). I know that each student had their own private proctor/tutor for the testing (to give the test) - I *think* that with most of the students, they were allowed to read the question to the student, in math for example, but I'm pretty sure they were not allowed to define words (obviously, lol).

 

I'm amazed that they are focused on standardized tests for students with learning disabilities.  These tests can be the worst for dyslexic students for the reasons you mention.  I would think they would be better served to focus on working on reading skills and math skills and not do the standardized tests.  Can't a private school get by without them?

 

Of course they need to accommodate initially, but along the way they have to teach them to learn how to do it for themselves - especially the older children, who haven't the luxury of 5 more years of OG tutoring in such an environment. Sure, they all qualify to have problems read to them, but if they can't decode them, and they struggle with working memory issues which makes it difficult to memorize them, reading the question isn't going to do much good, kwim? In a standardized testing situation (from which these children are not exempt, as per the state), even with accommodations the tutor can read the question, the tutor cannot DEFINE words, if I'm not mistaken.

And no, dyslexia does not always require accommodations - well, not as in a "forever" type of gig. Many students, after years of OG tutoring, go on to neurotypical high schools and excellent universities with absolutely no accommodations. You CAN teach a dyslexic child how to read, write, and spell - it's blood, sweat, and tears, but generally you can.

 

 

I must disagree with your statement about a dyslexic not always requiring accommodations.  From what I understand, a dyslexic will always struggle with their disability.  Yes, they will learn reading skills, math skills, spelling skills, but that struggle will always be present.  It is a disability and will never go away.   It may get easier, but it is still there and they will have to work harder to overcome it.  At our local homeschool convention, there was a booth by our state dyslexia association.  They recommended that I have my son officially diagnosed because he will be able to get accommodations for ACT/SAT testing and on into college.  

 

My son will remember anything if it is read to him, so I have read most of his books to him the past couple of years.  I would rather that he be learning and remembering and advancing than by struggling to decode what he has read and not be able to learn.  It seems to me like this school isn't really accommodating as well as they should.  

[Chris in VA]

I just want to say, Aimee, that I have been rather harsh on this thread, and you have remained incredibly gracious. Your posts show your intentions to do the best you can by your dd, and I really admire that. I apologize if I've been inappropriate. It's not often I outright call someone an ass, and so on. I do think things are wonky at the school, and I don't think the headmaster is correct, but I should not have besmirched his character in such a cavalier way. I would never say such things to his face, and so I apologize for saying things in my posts.

[OneStepAtATime]

I have two dyslexic children, both of whom started in a brick and mortar.  Both successfully attended a special program at an amazing school for dyslexic students over an entire summer after we had evaluations in place.  Both are now homeschooling.  Therefore, I have some experience here, even though I am still on this journey, too.  I sympathize with your situation, Aimee.  But I don't think this school is all it claims to be.   This school does not seem to be well trained in truly assisting children with dyslexia.  I have seen schools that are great and schools that are mediocre and schools that are awful.  This one seems pretty mediocre, honestly.

 

If this school is genuinely well designed for dyslexic students there would be an individual plan for your daughter and that plan would be structured so that she is receiving very specialized help in reading/writing/spelling/math so that she continues to progress in learning in these areas, but not just learning the content, also progressing in remediation of her issues., and that almost certainly will require accommodations until/if she masters these areas.  This could take years.  There is no quick, lets catch up to be functioning independently at grade level in a year.  Honestly, that is a ridiculously unrealistic view.  The school should be able to structure her lessons to where she is currently, and then move from there at the pace that is best for HER.  Trying to impose an arbitrary time line will net you and your daughter very little.  The specialized school my children attended was very aware of this and each child had a very specialized plan, irregardless of age.  There was remediation in all ares of difficulty, plus accommodations in all courses as needed so that content was still being learned while remediation addressed the problems.  It was understood that for some students they may ALWAYS need accommodations, depending on how severe the dyslexia issues, but that didn't prevent the school from being able to help them learn content AND progress in re-mediating issues.  They did this for K-12th.  The age of the child was irrelevant.  

 

 

You say she is an excellent reader and yet she guesses at words, skips words, etc.  In other words, what she is is a very bright young girl that found ways to work around her difficulties with learning to read but picked up terrible habits to try to accommodate her difficulties with decoding and fluency.  This is very common with bright dyslexic learners.  The school should be addressing this more than anything else, and should have done so as soon as she walked in the door.  She needs DAILY instruction, one on one preferably, in a valid OG based system.  What are they using?  What type of real training in OG and other approaches for dyslexics have they had?

 

With DD, now 13, and DS, now 10, I had to go way, way back to basic sound associations to really uncrack the code of true reading.  It seemed a bad idea to go back that far since they were both limping along o.k., but it was absolutely necessary.  It took a lot of time and effort and DAILY instruction in an OG based system, in relatively short sessions so as not to overwhelm then.  We have been working steadily with Barton Reading and Spelling for over a year and it IS working.   Reading, spelling and comprehension are SO much better than they were.   But this type of instruction takes time, LOTS of time, and a TON of patience, especially since both of my kids had developed the same poor reading habits and coping skills as it sounds like your daughter has.  I had to help them unlearn those habits and coping skills and start over.  We are in this for the long haul.  As it stands now, DD won't finish this program until the end of what should be her 9th grade year (or 10th grade if you count that she repeated 4k).  She will need accommodations for certain types of reading/spelling/math as we move on, and I recognize that these are not crutches preventing her from learning to be independent but necessary tools so that she continues to progress in content areas while we continue to work on remediation.  I had to do the same for math.  I took her way back to basics and moved forward at HER pace.

 

Pushing her faster just to get to grade level work when I know that she won't actually learn at a faster pace is counterproductive.  I have to go at whatever pace she is capable of, not some arbitrary time table set by people who have never met her.  I know it is a scary idea to step back so far when high school is around the corner.  And your state regulations are an issue, too.  I don't know how you work around the state regs.  But I finally had to accept that stepping all the way back and just moving at her pace was the only way we were going to truly move forward.  DD, especially, is thriving.  She is finally able to read and spell well.  Is she truly at grade level yet? For silent pleasure reading yes.  For textbook/workbook/school content type reading/spelling no, she is not.  But we are making tremendous progress, and this last year has been amazing.  Math is a bigger issue now, but I have accepted that we will not be starting Algebra in 8th or even 9th grade.  But she finally is not just sort of progressing in math and reading, she is starting to thrive and feel good about it all.   That wouldn't have happened if I had continued to press forward instead of letting her take a LOT of steps back.

 

I am sorry I am so long-winded here.  I just can't see that this school actually has a real clue as to how to genuinely help these kids truly thrive.  You might check out some of the following to see if any of it helps you:

 

http://www.grovesacademy.org/

http://www.amazon.com/The-Dyslexic-Advantage-Unlocking-Potential/dp/0452297923

http://www.amazon.com/Dyslexia-Empowerment-Plan-Blueprint-Confidence/dp/0345541235/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1399472855&sr=1-1&keywords=the+dyslexic+empowerment+plan

https://www.bartonreading.com/dys.html

http://www.amazon.com/Homeschooling-Your-Struggling-Learner-Kathy/dp/0981938906

 

Best wishes...

 

[mom2samlibby]

I have two dyslexic children, both of whom started in a brick and mortar.  Both successfully attended a special program at an amazing school for dyslexic students over an entire summer after we had evaluations in place.  Both are now homeschooling.  Therefore, I have some experience here, even though I am still on this journey, too.  I sympathize with your situation, Aimee.  But I don't think this school is all it claims to be.   This school does not seem to be well trained in truly assisting children with dyslexia.  I have seen schools that are great and schools that are mediocre and schools that are awful.  This one seems pretty mediocre, honestly.

 

If this school is genuinely well designed for dyslexic students there would be an individual plan for your daughter and that plan would be structured so that she is receiving very specialized help in reading/writing/spelling/math so that she continues to progress in learning in these areas, but not just learning the content, also progressing in remediation of her issues., and that almost certainly will require accommodations until/if she masters these areas.  This could take years.  There is no quick, lets catch up to be functioning independently at grade level in a year.  Honestly, that is a ridiculously unrealistic view.  The school should be able to structure her lessons to where she is currently, and then move from there at the pace that is best for HER.  Trying to impose an arbitrary time line will net you and your daughter very little.  The specialized school my children attended was very aware of this and each child had a very specialized plan, irregardless of age.  There was remediation in all ares of difficulty, plus accommodations in all courses as needed so that content was still being learned while remediation addressed the problems.  It was understood that for some students they may ALWAYS need accommodations, depending on how severe the dyslexia issues, but that didn't prevent the school from being able to help them learn content AND progress in re-mediating issues.  They did this for K-12th.  The age of the child was irrelevant.  

 

 

You say she is an excellent reader and yet she guesses at words, skips words, etc.  In other words, what she is is a very bright young girl that found ways to work around her difficulties with learning to read but picked up terrible habits to try to accommodate her difficulties with decoding and fluency.  This is very common with bright dyslexic learners.  The school should be addressing this more than anything else, and should have done so as soon as she walked in the door.  She needs DAILY instruction, one on one preferably, in a valid OG based system.  What are they using?  What type of real training in OG and other approaches for dyslexics have they had?

 

With DD, now 13, and DS, now 10, I had to go way, way back to basic sound associations to really uncrack the code of true reading.  It seemed a bad idea to go back that far since they were both limping along o.k., but it was absolutely necessary.  It took a lot of time and effort and DAILY instruction in an OG based system, in relatively short sessions so as not to overwhelm then.  We have been working steadily with Barton Reading and Spelling for over a year and it IS working.   Reading, spelling and comprehension are SO much better than they were.   But this type of instruction takes time, LOTS of time, and a TON of patience, especially since both of my kids had developed the same poor reading habits and coping skills as it sounds like your daughter has.  I had to help them unlearn those habits and coping skills and start over.  We are in this for the long haul.  As it stands now, DD won't finish this program until the end of what should be her 9th grade year (or 10th grade if you count that she repeated 4k).  She will need accommodations for certain types of reading/spelling/math as we move on, and I recognize that these are not crutches preventing her from learning to be independent but necessary tools so that she continues to progress in content areas while we continue to work on remediation.  I had to do the same for math.  I took her way back to basics and moved forward at HER pace.

 

Pushing her faster just to get to grade level work when I know that she won't actually learn at a faster pace is counterproductive.  I have to go at whatever pace she is capable of, not some arbitrary time table set by people who have never met her.  I know it is a scary idea to step back so far when high school is around the corner.  And your state regulations are an issue, too.  I don't know how you work around the state regs.  But I finally had to accept that stepping all the way back and just moving at her pace was the only way we were going to truly move forward.  DD, especially, is thriving.  She is finally able to read and spell well.  Is she truly at grade level yet? For silent pleasure reading yes.  For textbook/workbook/school content type reading/spelling no, she is not.  But we are making tremendous progress, and this last year has been amazing.  Math is a bigger issue now, but I have accepted that we will not be starting Algebra in 8th or even 9th grade.  But she finally is not just sort of progressing in math and reading, she is starting to thrive and feel good about it all.   That wouldn't have happened if I had continued to press forward instead of letting her take a LOT of steps back.

 

I am sorry I am so long-winded here.  I just can't see that this school actually has a real clue as to how to genuinely help these kids truly thrive.  You might check out some of the following to see if any of it helps you:

 

http://www.grovesacademy.org/

http://www.amazon.com/The-Dyslexic-Advantage-Unlocking-Potential/dp/0452297923

http://www.amazon.com/Dyslexia-Empowerment-Plan-Blueprint-Confidence/dp/0345541235/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1399472855&sr=1-1&keywords=the+dyslexic+empowerment+plan

https://www.bartonreading.com/dys.html

http://www.amazon.com/Homeschooling-Your-Struggling-Learner-Kathy/dp/0981938906

 

Best wishes...

 

Excellent advice here.  I agree.  Some of that is what I was trying to say in my post last night, but OneStepAtATime has said it so much better.  This school doesn't really sound like it helping it's dyslexic students as well as it should be.

[OneStepAtATime]

By the way,  my DH is dyslexic, too.  He is brilliant at many things, including engineering and higher level math.  But he still has difficulty with basic math skills and he does not read smoothly.  I would not seek him out to spell something for me.  He still uses "accomodations" in his everyday life.  But he also is a very successful engineer.  He just does things a bit differently than someone else might.  Accommodations are not a crutch if used correctly.  They are just another tool in a person's arsenal to tackle the task at hand.  Just thought I would add that...:)

[OneStepAtATime]

Excellent advice here.  I agree.  Some of that is what I was trying to say in my post last night, but OneStepAtATime has said it so much better.  This school doesn't really sound like it helping it's dyslexic students as well as it should be.

Actually, I thought you did a great job.  :)

[Halftime Hope]

 

And no, dyslexia does not always require accommodations - well, not as in a "forever" type of gig. Many students, after years of OG tutoring, go on to neurotypical high schools and excellent universities with absolutely no accommodations. You CAN teach a dyslexic child how to read, write, and spell - it's blood, sweat, and tears, but generally you can.

 

 

Aimee, I'm going to have to disagree with you here. I live in the center of the "OG universe", have been to several ALTA conferences, and have heard stories from parents and LTs galore.  I live with three dyslexics, all adults.  A person always has dyslexia.  Some students may go on to do just fine without accommodations, but I'm pretty sure that is the minority. Otherwise I wouldn't be hearing repeatedly as LTs encourage parents to help their students "level the playing field" in graduate school or law school by proof-reading papers for them and so on.  (Apparently grad schools don't offer a lot of accommodations, incorrectly assuming that by that time they are not needed.)  

 

The rationale seems to be that if a student is smart enough to have been accepted and motivated enough to do reasonably well in classes, they shouldn't be held back or graded down due to the mechanics issues caused by the dyslexia. Once they are out in their own practice or business, they can hire an assistant to do that for them anyway, so why not help them at this stage?

 

My own three need to have spelling problems overlooked, need more time to take written exams, and greatly benefit from classes that have either handouts or powerpoints online, i.e.. part of the note-taking is  already done for them.

 

We have been through years and years of OG remediation, and while it can vastly improve reading fluency and somewhat improve spelling and it does help retrain the pathways in the brain, it does not "fix" a dyslexic. 

 

Indeed their brain wiring--while creating difficulties in language processing--is often highly advantageous to them and produces success in other ways.  Dh is both R and L brained and has often been accused of "throwing" aptitude tests.  He has a photographic auditory memory, can visualize a project in four dimensions over time and anticipate the bottlenecks, knows what people need in a project before they can verbalize it, and he can listen to people and hear what is important to them from their tone of voice, even when their words say otherwise.  (lol!)  Yet he has been sent to corporate writing courses several times.  (As though it would make a difference...people just don't understand.)

 

Ds1 has exceptional spacial perception, for example he can visualize a mass of A/V connections (patches) from one end of a performance venue to another, connections that would have others matching numbers on the end of the individual wires and hoping to God they got it right.  He is encyclopedic in his understanding of the ridiculously detailed work he does.  Yet, he is like his engineer grand-dads, and his people skills need work.  He reads perfectly and spells reasonably but needs much more time to write, thus his accommodations through DSS at the university. 

 

Youngest also needs accommodations, mostly in the form of more time for written work such as essay exams. 

 

All three have had accommodations and have each completed and had refresher courses in OG.  It doesn't end.  Dyslexia is a lifelong thing, albeit not an insurmountable disability.  Just one that needs workarounds and some degree of persistent patience. 

 

 

 

 

[AimeeM]

All of their teachers are OG trained - the tutors have gained the highest OG certifications. Each child DOES have an individualized plan.

 

They definitely do not focus on standardized testing - I believe that their accrededation requires they participate in the tests? I'm not sure why, but this year there is more focus on test prep, and I hear through the grape vine that it has something to do with tests being changed for common core and the way that affects our children (at the school)?

 

All of the children receive tutoring daily.

 

This is partially our fault and I do feel the need to say that much. She entered the school without an IEP or 504 - there was no clear, SUPER RECENT, outline for them. As with most of the students at the school, the first several months assessing where she is in and how she does in each area. Her individual plan has had to be changed several times. For example, she started flying in math, once the tutor addressed the fact memorization issue and helped DD resolve that, so she was moved to the more advanced math class; there were changes made to that scope and sequence because of testing requirements? Initially she was placed in the most advanced literature class, because they had to go with what they were presented with initially - a child who appeared to read very well; now she has an extra catch-all tutoring session because the "sight reading as a coping mechanism" was discovered.

 

The other children have had years of assessments done with either that school, or a similar school, or a private OG tutor

 

I'm am very upset with the structure of how the school is run, no doubt - but I really do not feel the same negativity about the quality of most of the teachers, or their ability to help dyslexic children. I *do* feel like (perhaps) it was simply TOO LATE IN THE GAME for DD to enter the school - and it being a new school, with tons of kinks to work out (which the Head has admitted to), has only made that worse. Her being the only girl in the school has made things difficult. I often feel that there is a battle of wills to run the school - between the Head, who I do (in my heart of hearts) feel knows how to run such a school... and the very wealthy parents who have been there from the beginning. <----- Little things that have happened in the past year have led me to that conclusion. While I don't know that I can handle it, as a parent, I do feel pity for the Head - it must be awful to know that you need to keep those enrollment numbers but that you aren't REALLY free to do with the school as you know best (he said something along those lines at a parent meeting).

I have two dyslexic children, both of whom started in a brick and mortar.  Both successfully attended a special program at an amazing school for dyslexic students over an entire summer after we had evaluations in place.  Both are now homeschooling.  Therefore, I have some experience here, even though I am still on this journey, too.  I sympathize with your situation, Aimee.  But I don't think this school is all it claims to be.   This school does not seem to be well trained in truly assisting children with dyslexia.  I have seen schools that are great and schools that are mediocre and schools that are awful.  This one seems pretty mediocre, honestly.

 

If this school is genuinely well designed for dyslexic students there would be an individual plan for your daughter and that plan would be structured so that she is receiving very specialized help in reading/writing/spelling/math so that she continues to progress in learning in these areas, but not just learning the content, also progressing in remediation of her issues., and that almost certainly will require accommodations until/if she masters these areas.  This could take years.  There is no quick, lets catch up to be functioning independently at grade level in a year.  Honestly, that is a ridiculously unrealistic view.  The school should be able to structure her lessons to where she is currently, and then move from there at the pace that is best for HER.  Trying to impose an arbitrary time line will net you and your daughter very little.  The specialized school my children attended was very aware of this and each child had a very specialized plan, irregardless of age.  There was remediation in all ares of difficulty, plus accommodations in all courses as needed so that content was still being learned while remediation addressed the problems.  It was understood that for some students they may ALWAYS need accommodations, depending on how severe the dyslexia issues, but that didn't prevent the school from being able to help them learn content AND progress in re-mediating issues.  They did this for K-12th.  The age of the child was irrelevant.  

 

 

You say she is an excellent reader and yet she guesses at words, skips words, etc.  In other words, what she is is a very bright young girl that found ways to work around her difficulties with learning to read but picked up terrible habits to try to accommodate her difficulties with decoding and fluency.  This is very common with bright dyslexic learners.  The school should be addressing this more than anything else, and should have done so as soon as she walked in the door.  She needs DAILY instruction, one on one preferably, in a valid OG based system.  What are they using?  What type of real training in OG and other approaches for dyslexics have they had?

 

With DD, now 13, and DS, now 10, I had to go way, way back to basic sound associations to really uncrack the code of true reading.  It seemed a bad idea to go back that far since they were both limping along o.k., but it was absolutely necessary.  It took a lot of time and effort and DAILY instruction in an OG based system, in relatively short sessions so as not to overwhelm then.  We have been working steadily with Barton Reading and Spelling for over a year and it IS working.   Reading, spelling and comprehension are SO much better than they were.   But this type of instruction takes time, LOTS of time, and a TON of patience, especially since both of my kids had developed the same poor reading habits and coping skills as it sounds like your daughter has.  I had to help them unlearn those habits and coping skills and start over.  We are in this for the long haul.  As it stands now, DD won't finish this program until the end of what should be her 9th grade year (or 10th grade if you count that she repeated 4k).  She will need accommodations for certain types of reading/spelling/math as we move on, and I recognize that these are not crutches preventing her from learning to be independent but necessary tools so that she continues to progress in content areas while we continue to work on remediation.  I had to do the same for math.  I took her way back to basics and moved forward at HER pace.

 

Pushing her faster just to get to grade level work when I know that she won't actually learn at a faster pace is counterproductive.  I have to go at whatever pace she is capable of, not some arbitrary time table set by people who have never met her.  I know it is a scary idea to step back so far when high school is around the corner.  And your state regulations are an issue, too.  I don't know how you work around the state regs.  But I finally had to accept that stepping all the way back and just moving at her pace was the only way we were going to truly move forward.  DD, especially, is thriving.  She is finally able to read and spell well.  Is she truly at grade level yet? For silent pleasure reading yes.  For textbook/workbook/school content type reading/spelling no, she is not.  But we are making tremendous progress, and this last year has been amazing.  Math is a bigger issue now, but I have accepted that we will not be starting Algebra in 8th or even 9th grade.  But she finally is not just sort of progressing in math and reading, she is starting to thrive and feel good about it all.   That wouldn't have happened if I had continued to press forward instead of letting her take a LOT of steps back.

 

I am sorry I am so long-winded here.  I just can't see that this school actually has a real clue as to how to genuinely help these kids truly thrive.  You might check out some of the following to see if any of it helps you:

 

http://www.grovesacademy.org/

http://www.amazon.com/The-Dyslexic-Advantage-Unlocking-Potential/dp/0452297923

http://www.amazon.com/Dyslexia-Empowerment-Plan-Blueprint-Confidence/dp/0345541235/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1399472855&sr=1-1&keywords=the+dyslexic+empowerment+plan

https://www.bartonreading.com/dys.html

http://www.amazon.com/Homeschooling-Your-Struggling-Learner-Kathy/dp/0981938906

 

Best wishes...

 

 

[zoobie]

The attendance issue is still weird to me. There are 18 students, so he knows you all well. He knows you're not lying about her illness, and he insists on a medical note? His workaround is to have her serve some sort of useless in-school suspension and stay after on half days? That kind of legalism when it's not required by law is mind-boggling. If a public school principal were suggesting these things to help a student not fail or not be reported for truancy because of state law mandates on attendance, that would be different. 

 

The school's focus on standardized testing seems strange too. I get teaching testing skills, especially if the kids will be feeding back into typical schools, but why care about the actual scores? I don't think private schools here are required to take the tests. Our old school didn't do any until 6th grade, and that was just for practice because the scores are utterly meaningless.

 

Is the school telling you they can "fix" dyslexia? 

 

Have you read the Eides's books on dyslexia? And Shaywitz's? 

 

Is the school anti-technology and accommodations? The schools here seem to embrace technology. Even the small dyslexia school here was big into technology and accommodations when we investigated them for DD. They want the kids to use all available tools to make the rest of their school years and ultimate career life successful. 

 

Has she had a full ed psych testing workup? What did the psych suggest as useful accommodations?  

 

Edited: some of this was answered in the post you added while I was typing! :)

[AimeeM]

Wanted to update this as well: we went to see the ped today, and she agreed to write a "blanket note" for GI issues, asking the school to excuse any absences that occur because of "GI flare ups". I think there was some confusion before - perhaps they thought I was asking them to write school excuse letters for specific DATES that she wasn't seen in the office - because the ped had no problem writing the blanket note (she's seen DD through all of the allergy testing, dx, and for referrals out for the "GI" issues).

[AimeeM]

The attendance issue is still weird to me. There are 18 students, so he knows you all well. He knows you're not lying about her illness, and he insists on a medical note? His workaround is to have her serve some sort of useless in-school suspension and stay after on half days? That kind of legalism when it's not required by law is mind-boggling. If a public school principal were suggesting these things to help a student not fail or not be reported for truancy because of state law mandates on attendance, that would be different.  This is where I'm not clear. When I went to the local public school site, their attendance policy states that for excused absences need be "medically excused" - does that mean mom can write a note stating that there was a medical reason for the absence, or a medical professional? They DID list the same number of days allowed as our current private school.

 

The school's focus on standardized testing seems strange too. I get teaching testing skills, especially if the kids will be feeding back into typical schools, but why care about the actual scores? I don't think private schools here are required to take the tests. Our old school didn't do any until 6th grade, and that was just for practice because the scores are utterly meaningless. I think it has less to do with scores and more to do with confidence - many of these children enter the school with such low self esteem that if they encountered very wordy problems that they couldn't understand, they would melt (I know my dd would, and in fact DID on the test given a couple months ago).

 

Is the school telling you they can "fix" dyslexia? No. Not at all. In fact, they are more of the variety that while they want the children to not struggle, and to work on these problems, dyslexia comes with its own unique strengths. Some of the staff is also dyslexic (not the ones tutoring! Lol).

 

Have you read the Eides's books on dyslexia? And Shaywitz's? I've read The Gift of Dyslexia. I have the Eide's book on audio and NEED to listen to it!

 

Is the school anti-technology and accommodations? The schools here seem to embrace technology. Even the small dyslexia school here was big into technology and accommodations when we investigated them for DD. They want the kids to use all available tools to make the rest of their school years and ultimate career life successful. They are very pro-technology. I feel like I'm wording something wrong :( They aren't anti accommodations - they do, however, realize that when the children age out here, accommodations can be difficult to come by. Regardless of IDEA, our state does NOT recognize dyslexia as a "special need"; a learning disability, yes, but NOT a special need. The accommodations they are ABLE to make are incredibly minimal, to be frank; they have no reading specialists, no OG tutored, no OG trained staff, and are woefully ignorant on all things "dyslexia". There is nowhere else, however, for these kids to go for high school, unless the parents can fork out 50K+ for a specialized boarding school in another state (not something we'd consider, even if we COULD afford it). I think they want the children to learn how to do these things with few accommodations, because they do not want their school years to be an incredible struggle, kwim? I'll note that the younger students, and newer students DO get more accommodations than upper school students who have been in similar environments for many years (for example, when it was discovered the extent of DD's writing problems, she was given a tutor who ONLY helps walk her through the writing process, and helps her with every big writing assignment - for whatever reason, this hasn't worked its way into her long term memory and she still cannot compose a single paragraph without complete hand-holding.

 

Has she had a full ed psych testing workup? What did the psych suggest as useful accommodations?  Hers wasn't as recent as it needed to be. This is one reason why they spent the first several months assessing her needs and where she was in everything, and she's currently waiting for a more current psych ed eval.

 

Edited: some of this was answered in the post you added while I was typing! :)  Lol!

 

[mom2samlibby]

From what I've read and learned about dyslexia, the book The Gift of Dyslexia is highly frowned upon by many of the experts in the field.  Overcoming Dyslexia by Sally Shaywitz and the Eide's book would be better options for learning about dyslexia and how to understand your daughter.  I remember after I started understanding more about dyslexia and the struggles my child was facing, I cried and cried because I realized that there were things I had tried for school that totally went against the way that he learns.  We had time to start again, but I felt awful about trying to teach him in ways that he would never have been successful.

 

I understand about your state not recognizing dyslexia.  Ours doesn't either.  I spoke once to a friend of mine that is a public school reading specialist, shortly after I heard Susan Barton speak and say that 1 out of 10 students are dyslexic.  I've know seen that the number is higher - 1 out of 5.  At this time, my friend had been in the school system for 10 years.  I asked her how many students she had seen with dyslexia and she said, "none".  Her number at minimum should have been 20 or higher.  But, since they don't know what to look for, she hadn't seen any.  And that right there is the reason I homeschool.  My child would not thrive in public school.  His father (a successful engineer) is also dyslexic, but his is more mild, so he was able to get by in school.  My son would not be able to write a paper without handholding either, and he is 15.  I'm able to help my child be successful with it his studies by making those accommodations -- books on audio, reading aloud, dictating, etc.  

 

From what you've added in this recent post, I'm still not seeing how they are working with these children to give them the tools they need to become successful students.  I would expect that if my child were going to a school promoted for dyslexics that he would be making progress in reading levels, but from what you've added, it doesn't sound that she has.  

 

[AimeeM]

From what I've read and learned about dyslexia, the book The Gift of Dyslexia is highly frowned upon by many of the experts in the field.  Overcoming Dyslexia by Sally Shaywitz and the Eide's book would be better options for learning about dyslexia and how to understand your daughter.  I remember after I started understanding more about dyslexia and the struggles my child was facing, I cried and cried because I realized that there were things I had tried for school that totally went against the way that he learns.  We had time to start again, but I felt awful about trying to teach him in ways that he would never have been successful.

 

I understand about your state not recognizing dyslexia.  Ours doesn't either.  I spoke once to a friend of mine that is a public school reading specialist, shortly after I heard Susan Barton speak and say that 1 out of 10 students are dyslexic.  I've know seen that the number is higher - 1 out of 5.  At this time, my friend had been in the school system for 10 years.  I asked her how many students she had seen with dyslexia and she said, "none".  Her number at minimum should have been 20 or higher.  But, since they don't know what to look for, she hadn't seen any.  And that right there is the reason I homeschool.  My child would not thrive in public school.  His father (a successful engineer) is also dyslexic, but his is more mild, so he was able to get by in school.  My son would not be able to write a paper without handholding either, and he is 15.  I'm able to help my child be successful with it his studies by making those accommodations -- books on audio, reading aloud, dictating, etc.  

 

From what you've added in this recent post, I'm still not seeing how they are working with these children to give them the tools they need to become successful students.  I would expect that if my child were going to a school promoted for dyslexics that he would be making progress in reading levels, but from what you've added, it doesn't sound that she has.  

 

She hasn't made progress. Where I'm struggling - is that because WE didn't have the proper, current assessments for her when enrolling? I do know that this forced the school to spend several months assessing her, then many more months trying to find the proper "plan" for her. In other words, have WE (as her parents) contributed to her lack of progress because, essentially, the first semester of school was spent trying to find the proper fit?

 

[mom2samlibby]

She hasn't made progress. Where I'm struggling - is that because WE didn't have the proper, current assessments for her when enrolling? I do know that this forced the school to spend several months assessing her, then many more months trying to find the proper "plan" for her. In other words, have WE (as her parents) contributed to her lack of progress because, essentially, the first semester of school was spent trying to find the proper fit?

 

Wait, what?  Please don't blame yourself!  If this school is promoting itself as a school to help with dyslexia, WHY would you needed to have current assessments when enrolling?  I just had my son screened at our homeschool convention with our dyslexia association and they were able to do a fairly good assessment in an hour.  They did recommend that I take him to get the professional assessment afterwards, but it was a good starting point.  It measured reading level and other items.  

 

The first semester should not have taken that much time to figure out how to place her and what to teach her.  They should have a plan in place of how to place students and an assessment ready to give when enrolling or shortly after.   What OG reading program are they using with her?  They should have been able to figure out where she was currently at and where to get started.