bettyandbob Posted April 26, 2014 Share Posted April 26, 2014 If you've recall some of my past posts you probably remember that one of my jobs is teaching swimming. I teach all levels (infants to adults) and I like the facility where I currently teach. Our facility (government run) has a policy that if your child does not have the skills for a class in which he is enrolled then your child will be removed from that class. If you are lucky there is an opening in a more appropriate class, however if there are no openings your child will be disenrolled altogether and won't have lessons at all. You can bring your child in for a stroke evaluation before registration so you know what level to register for. If you guess and are wrong you will be out of luck. In January, I had a student who I determined the first class did not belong. Her father signed her up for the top level (6) and the child couldn't swim 50 meters. The father proceeded to stand on the side and yell at her. The child cried. I let her stay in class that day, but I said she had to be moved. I knew there was an opening in my 5 and said she could go there even though I did not have time to do a full eval of her skills. I knew her crying was impeding her that day, but I had a gut feeling that she could handle the level one down. Her father made a big stink. He called my boss during the week and had a major screaming match. Anyway, she was able to keep up the level 5, but she did not pass all the skills in 5. She was also a nice little girl in class. At the end of session I included details of skills she needed to work on on her certificate. I do this for all students, but I was more attentive to this one because of the big stink. The child did not sign up for the next session. Fast forward, child started a new session today. Father signed her up for 6, when she did not pass 5 two months ago. The mother brought her to lessons. I again kept her in the class today, but it was quite obvious she did not belong. I told my supervisor to put her in 5 and there would be a space in 5 if another child was moved up to 6 and there is one child in the level 5 who really needs to move up. My supervisor explains all to the mother--child did not pass, I told parents child did not pass 2 months ago, that a switch would be made, etc. After the lesson is over, mother and child leave. 40 minutes later I am teaching adult beginners. The father comes up to the side of the pool with his daughter and starts screaming at me. Over and over he yells "what's your problem" and "get out of the pool and talk to me now". I never stop a lesson to talk to anyone, because the lesson is my priority, however, at this point my lesson is completely stopped, the adults in the pool with me are confused as to what is going on. At first, I tell him he has to go talk to the manager if he disagrees with my decision and I need to teach the students in the pool. He continues yelling. It's actually scary. I got a lifeguard to get him off the pool deck. The guy was a lunatic. I felt very threatened. Truly, I was wondering if I was safe walking to my car after work this afternoon. I don't think I will feel safe if the girl is permitted to continue lessons at our facility. The aquatics director came in after the events occurred--he was scheduled to be in today because this is my boss' (the asst director) last day-- so they had loose ends to tie up together. Anyway, he's going to have the father and daughter come in during the week and he will swim test the girl himself. And then he will tell that dad she can only be in whatever level he (aquatics dir) decides. I think he might decide she can only be in level 4. The aquatics director says he may consider saying the family can no longer take classes at all at our facility. There are also some lesser restrictions he can put on the family enrolling in classes. I'm thinking of telling the aquatics director I am not comfortable being there when this father is present requesting that if the child is permitted to take lessons she can only take lessons on days I do not work. This means she can never take Saturday lessons three seasons a year and Sunday lessons in the summer. There have been times I've behaved badly as a parent, but I don't think I've ever been like this. I really don't understand freaking out about swimming lessons anyway. Our program is not a gateway to anything, except developing better water safety skills. We don't feed into a swim team. There are no real accolades. It's a skill. A skill I believe is very important, but no big gold stars go with it. Does this man do this everywhere. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted April 26, 2014 Share Posted April 26, 2014 (((Betty))) How scary. I hope your employers make the right decisions to keep you safe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snickerdoodle Posted April 26, 2014 Share Posted April 26, 2014 That's crazy. Hopefully the director can get it under control. What did the adults in the disrupted class say? He took instruction time away from them that they had paid for. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
umsami Posted April 26, 2014 Share Posted April 26, 2014 How very scary. I actually think you handled the level issue really well, which should have worked for everybody involved. I'm thinking of telling the aquatics director I am not comfortable being there when this father is present requesting that if the child is permitted to take lessons she can only take lessons on days I do not work. This means she can never take Saturday lessons three seasons a year and Sunday lessons in the summer. Yes, I think this is the right approach to take. I'm sorry you went through this. How very scary. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unicorn. Posted April 26, 2014 Share Posted April 26, 2014 Wow! I feel bad for you, but I really feel bad for that little girl! He needs some anger management classes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoobie Posted April 26, 2014 Share Posted April 26, 2014 How scary! I feel so sorry for that little girl. :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted April 26, 2014 Share Posted April 26, 2014 His poor little daughter. Ugh. And poor you! I would be scared as well. I would have asked for the same as you--that you not be there when he is, or telling the family they can't come back. I would also ask someone to walk with me to my car. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Butter Posted April 26, 2014 Share Posted April 26, 2014 That is crazy! I am glad the director is taking it very seriously, though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laurie4b Posted April 26, 2014 Share Posted April 26, 2014 Sounds scary. I would talk with the director about protocal for handling not just this guy but threatening displays from anyone. The facility should have policies for dealing with this. I would think 911 should be called if he doesn't leave immediately when asked and maybe should be called if someone starts yelling like that period. That is just not normal. It shouldn't be about you and him. It should be about the facility and him. (And that should protect you.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted April 26, 2014 Author Share Posted April 26, 2014 That's crazy. Hopefully the director can get it under control. What did the adults in the disrupted class say? He took instruction time away from them that they had paid for. The adults in lessons were confused at first, asked what it was about and then a bit angry and disturbed. Yes, he did take instruction away from them. The group I had was beginning, most of the students have been in the class for a couple of sessions so this was not there very first class with me. Some of them were attempting to swim their very first length (25m) ever today. I am so proud of them. To start from not knowing how to swim at all as an adult to really swim is a lot work. I also had an assistant today who recently got certified to teach. I am training him this session. He was not with me at the beginning of the yelling (he was putting some equipment away). He helped the lifeguard get the man to the office. The assistant instructor is a 22 year old male who is not scrawny. He was also a bit shaken. It was insane. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GeorgiaGirl160 Posted April 26, 2014 Share Posted April 26, 2014 My father acts like the man you described. It's called Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I am sorry for the little girl because I was her for a very long time. You are right to be worried. People who act like that can snap and become violent. I know from experience. You have every right to ask that this family not attend your class. It will not surprise me if the man is equally insane with the aquatic director, and the AD asks him to stay out of the facility entirely. Kudos to your AD for handling this directly. Listen to your gut, and avoid these people like the plague. You might want to consider making a confidential call to DFACS over the yelling at the child. The verbal abuse is likely much worse at home. I wish someone had stepped up to defend me. Thanks, GA Cub Mom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mirth Posted April 26, 2014 Share Posted April 26, 2014 Yes, I was typing something just like Laurie4b suggested. This guy is really not right. You know he isn't. He wanted to intimidate you and he did and somehow you are bearing the weight of all his over the top temper tantrum. I don't know what your pool's rules of conduct are, but I'm guessing screaming and distracting the instructor, students, and lifeguard are not allowed. So if anyone does this [again], he must be asked to leave. Then I can say for certain I would call 911 or ask anyone around to call 911 if he did not leave right away (no matter what the reason he came in for or how many nice little sweet girls in swimsuits he had in tow). You'd know that the cavalry is coming which may help you further defuse the situation in the moment. No matter what the facility's emergent situation policy is, if several of you non-scrawny super athletic Baywatch type employees feel threatened by the same screaming man, I would make it my own policy to call 911. Everytime. I'm very sorry that you had to deal with this guy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LMD Posted April 26, 2014 Share Posted April 26, 2014 I'm surprised they let him back on the property after the first screaming match. Doesn't the pool have behaviour standards? I'd ban the whole family for his abusive outbursts. I hope your management takes it seriously, that would have been scary. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted April 26, 2014 Author Share Posted April 26, 2014 I did follow up with an email to my aquatics director tonight saying that if the family was permitted to continue with lessons, I do not want them coming on days I am teaching. I don't think I will hear back until Tuesday. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted April 26, 2014 Share Posted April 26, 2014 That parent did not "behave badly". He behaved abusively. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneStepAtATime Posted April 26, 2014 Share Posted April 26, 2014 What Jean said. Seriously, he should be told in no uncertain terms that his behavior is not acceptable and he and his family will no longer be welcome. I guess, for the little girl's sake, maybe give them one more chance if they accept whatever level she is place at, but I would put a warning in writing and have him sign that he received a copy. If he fights it, kick him out. Ugh! That is awful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ravin Posted April 27, 2014 Share Posted April 27, 2014 I think I would ask that the father be banned from the facility. It doesn't seem to be the girl's fault, and she should be able to continue at the appropriate level with her mother bringing her to class. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trulycrabby Posted April 27, 2014 Share Posted April 27, 2014 That man has some serious, scary mental problems. I would ask for him to be permanently banned from the premises. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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