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Help me decide what to do next year (work-wise)


jen3kids
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I've talked to dh, and he either says, "Whatever you decide is fine." or "You're just not used to working full-time yet.  Give it time."  Honestly, I don't want to 'get used' to this feeling of being rushed all the time.

 

So, I'm coming to the Hive for advice....

 

 

 

I went back to work this past August after being a SAHM for 16 years, homeschooling until 2012 and now all my kids are in school.  

 

I work 7:45-3:30 M-F as a Teacher's Assistant in a Montessori School.

 

My kids (16, 14, 12) go to different schools and have various after school activities throughout the year.

 

My day goes like this...

 

6am - up and take older ds to the bus

7am - take dd to school and go to work (younger ds can walk to his bus stop)

3:30 - leave work and usually have to pick one or two kids up after band, lacrosse, wrestling, field hockey practice

5/6/7/8 - get home, depending on who has what activity

 

 

For these past 8 months I've been feeling so stressed with everything - the house is a mess, dinner is not what I want it to be, and I'm exhausted.  The kids help out quite a bit - laundry, pet care, vacuuming, making dinner, etc, but I still feel swamped.

 

I like my job, but don't love it.  I never look forward to going, but once I get there I do enjoy it (for the most part).  Does anyone actually look forward to going to work?  I have so many other things I'd rather be doing!

 

I've asked my boss about reducing my hours to 1/2 a day, basically 7:45am-1pm, but that means I'd have to work with a different age group and I'm not sure I want to do that.  I'd have to leave my classroom of 3-6 year olds and work with 2year olds.  I would really miss the kids in my current class who will be there again next year.

 

To throw another wrench into the mix, I've been asked to help coach dd's field hockey team in the fall.  That would mean 2-3 months of near-daily practices or games from 2:45-5/6pm.  There's no way I can do that with my current work schedule; I'd have to go part-time.  I would love to coach again (or at least I think I do!) - it may just be a 'grass is greener on the other side' mentality :)

 

So, do I stick with my current work schedule and stay full-time, or do go to half-time and take the coaching job?   Aargh!  One day I convince myself of one, the next day I change my mind.   

 

What am I not considering?  Am I being a work-wimp? Am I over-thinking it?    TIA

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what is the reason you are working other than filling the time while dc attend school?

 

Do you have immediate financial need?

 

Do you have long term financial goals?

 

Do you have long term personal or professional goals?

 

Can your goals be attained from another job or activity?

 

Where do you see yourself in 3 years, 5years, 10 years? 

 

You need to put some focus on what you are doing and why you are doing it.

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what is the reason you are working other than filling the time while dc attend school?

 

Do you have immediate financial need?

 

Do you have long term financial goals?

 

Do you have long term personal or professional goals?

 

Can your goals be attained from another job or activity?

 

Where do you see yourself in 3 years, 5years, 10 years? 

 

You need to put some focus on what you are doing and why you are doing it.

 

No dire financial need, although with the kids getting towards graduating high school, I suppose extra money doesn't hurt!

 

At first I thought I'd like to get my Montessori teaching certificate, but now I don't know.  While I do believe in the method, I am not passionate about it, like most of the staff.

 

I guess I went back to work mainly to fill my time; I was feeling guilty, as well as getting pressure from friends and family (albeit friendly-pressure).  I feel a bit 'drifty', if you know what I mean, like my 16 year old who doesn't know what he wants to do after high school :(

 

I would prefer to have my days 100% free to do what I want, when I want (aside from taking care of the house/hubby/kids).  I enjoy cooking and doing yard work, biking, hiking and reading.  But, truth-be-told, I totally slacked off on all these things the year I was home with no one to homeschool!  

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Since you don't 'need' the money and dh is ok with whatever you choose, I would finish the year and then quit.  Life is too short to spend it doing things you don't want to do.  Working full time and juggling three kids' after school activities and stuff is stressing you out. Something has to give and dropping the job seems to be the obvious choice. 

 

That doesn't mean you won't find something else part time- the coaching gig sounds like a good start.  Go from there. 

 

I've been where you are- it's kind of a weird transition to not be homeschooling and trying to figure out what you want to be when you grow up.  

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Personally, I would quit completely and focus on my own family/kids/house/life.  Your children are nearly grown and you will miss these days.  I would envelop myself in whatever parts of their lives that you can, focus on making your home their (and your dh's) haven and "soft place to fall".  Make a list of daily/weekly/monthly/yearly goals and work off of that.  I do understand being adrift as I had a year of that, but maybe you needed some time to adjust to being just a SAHM instead of a homeschooling SAHM.  If you are less stressed, your home is in order, and you are able to devote more time to your dh and dc, I think you will be happier.  In just a few short years they will all be off on their own and then you can go back to work.

 

I am not looking forward to those days myself, the days of no kiddos.  However, dh is working on a plan for our future and I am excited about it!

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Thanks to everyone.   It helped tremendously.  I was able to sleep much better last night, knowing that I wasn't being unreasonable in wanting to reduce my hours.

 

And, GREAT NEWS!!!!  My boss told me today that it looks like it will work out that I'll be able to stay in my current classroom, and work only 1/2 days.  They need a place for one of their student teachers to do her internship and it will work perfectly since the Lead Guide in my room is willing to be her 'mentor'.  The student-teacher needs to agree, but everyone is sure that will happen!  YEAH!!! What a huge relief for me.  I was feeling so guilty about leaving the kids in my class, but my own family has to come first.  And, if I decide that I want to be full-time again, I can go back to it the following year.

 

I know that August-October will be crazy if I decide to join the coaching staff of dd's fh team, but it is short term only and I think I'll really enjoy it.  

 

Thanks again.  I appreciate your responses. 

 

 

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