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Holidays are always the toughest. I haven't seen my boy for more than 9 months.


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:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

 

your poor momma's heart.

 

the first Easter was a heartbreak for Mary before it was anything else.... and it happened in the midst of the passover celebrations.....

 

i just wish you didn't need to feel that at this level of hurt....

ann

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Thank you everyone. It is tough and I know people think we should just move on but it's hard...my boy is only 16. And I don't know much about how he's doing ...actually nothing for the past month. I'm hoping he might appear at my niece's or sister's house over the weekend. They have an open door policy for him. He last visited them about a month ago.

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Oh, Rose. The first thing I do when visiting this board (at least daily) is to scroll through looking for a post by you. I think of you and your son and your family so often, and my heart is so sad for your pain. I can't fathom what you are going through every day. I know there are hundreds of others of us here who similarly hope and pray for your comfort and the wellness of your entire family. 

 

Where is your son living? Has he still been in school? Is he with his birth-relatives?

 

I remember so well your first posts when your son found his birth mom on facebook, and I watched from afar as you and your family struggled so hard to do the best possible job loving your son that you could. 

 

I don't think anyone in their right mind should tell you to "move on" or "get past it". No parent gets past their child being in pain or lost to them. Of course you must soldier forward to have the best life you can for all of your sakes, but the loss and pain will always be there, too, as will your love for your son. No one can or should tell you how to cope, as it is something that is so personal and unique to each person and situation. You just keep doing the best you can, and that is all anyone can do. ((((hugs)))) to all of you. 

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My family will pray for yours. Yes, the remaining children you have do deserve not just a pleasant holiday, but also to know that your are hurting but that you are there for them too. It's okay to be a little sad. Your remaining children are learning from your gracious example how to deal with the heartbreaks of life. My guess is that they are going to be better Christians and plain old better people for your example.

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Well you won't believe this. I just hung up phone after speaking for 2 minutes and 58 seconds to my son. He called and asked to speak to his brother (who isn't home). I was so stunned at the call I didn't know what to say and he didn't really want to talk to me (although secretly I'm going to believe he wanted to talk to me). I was able to tell him I love him before he cut me off.

 

I kind of feel stunned at the moment.

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