Jump to content

Menu

WWYD in PA


Recommended Posts

I have a conundrum on my hands. My daughter seems to have developed an "allergy" to school. Everything in me and all of my upbringing tells me to tell her to "suck it up". Send her to school and just deal. That's what I would have to do when I was a kid. But I want to be more compassionate to them. I know it's a harsh world, but we teach them to learn to deal with it, not throw them out there and say sink or swim...

 

She gets headaches, stomach aches, nausea, etc. She's been out for three days, and now she's sick again. I had thought to pull them out of school before the end of the school year to homeschool, but friends advised me to wait till the end of the year and then just start next year.

 

So I ask specifically because the laws here are difficult. Filing affidavits and scope and sequence and finding an evaluator at this late date, and, and, and...

 

so..... wwyd? Take them out or let her deal?  (I understand you can't make my decision for me, i just need opinions... I'm at the end of my rope. thanks)

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The first question to ask is why she is getting sick. No decisions can be made without understanding that.

 

Is she being bullied? If her illness is stress-related, then what is causing her stress? If she will not tell you, then consider taking her to a therapist or asking an adult you know your daughter trusts to have a chat with her.

 

Is she sick? Have you taken her in for a physical? Considered food allergies or other possibilities?

 

If it is stress-related, then your options are to either remove the cause of her stress or coach her to address that stressor in a productive way. Removal of the cause of her stress may mean some level of intervention in the stress environment (like holding the bully accountable, if it's even possible to do so) or removing her from the stressful environment (homeschooling).

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'd be asking what's going on at school.  It sounds like something is causing the allergy... bullying?  Feel behind?  Betting bored?  Feeling intimidated due to gender (inappropriate touching) or something else?

 

I'd want to get to the bottom of what is wrong.  Pending her age and your ability to communicate together, you might have to get creative.

 

THEN I'd see what I wanted to do about it - I'd probably involve guidance as our guidance office is quite good.  YMMV.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'd try to dig into what's going on a bit more as well. One way or another, I would not keep her in a toxic situation -- either solve the issue, or remove her from it. (If boredom is the biggest issue, well, that I probably would her stay in for the remaining couple of months, and then I'd reevaluate for next year. But bullying, or another bad situation -- I'd be pushing teachers, guidance, etc. to figure out what's going on.)

But if you do want to pull her out now, I can assure you that the affidavit is not too onerous; it'll take a few minutes to put together and a few to get notarized, and that's it. You can probably find an evaluator at this point as well; the ones around here seem to do their evaluations mostly in May, and you do have until June 30. As for how it works if you pull her out now and homeschool her for the rest of the year, I'm not sure.

This is what askpauline says about that: http://home.comcast.net/~askpauline/hs/homeschoolaffidavit.html

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Just want to share my experience with you. While in 7th grade my oldest dd was getting excluded at school, not "bullied" but ignored which IS bullying to me. We knew we would homeschool for the following year, but she wanted to leave immediately. It was about the same time of year mar/April and in the end against her wishes and against my gut instinct we finished the school year. If I could go back I would have pulled her out immediately. For a child those last couple months can seem like forever, especially if the situation at school is that bad. So without knowing whether this a bullying/friend situation, difficulty w/ teacher/work or whatever, I would say listen to your mom instinct & try not to doubt it. If I could get those last couple months back, I would in a heartbeat.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well we did talk this morning. Apparently it's a combination of things. She has a bully, he's been a problem in the past, but I gave her some coping strategies. It was fine for a while, but apparently he's bothering her again. Also, she said that when she goes back to school, only one person would have missed her, and that's the student teacher. I have known for some time that she doesn't have many friends at school, which didn't bother me because i never had many either, but the ones i did have were good ones. She was explaining the day to me, and from what it seems, she doesnt even get to SEE her friends, they're not in her class and classes sit together at lunch, PE, etc.

 

So one other thing was that the teacher "dumbed down" (her words) her spelling because she was failing and instead of teaching the words a different way, she decided to give her a modified list so that she can pass on to the next grade without a fail on her record.

 

My belief is that all of this is contributing to the "allergy". She's 10 and in 4th grade. She's older than the rest (should be in 5th), but because of a medical issue, she is by far smaller than the rest. (She's not a little person, but has a growth deficiency). Okay, I think I've gotten it all out. LOL  Thank you all so much for your supportive responses!!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Great that you talked to her.

 

It can be overwhelming to pull her out with so little time left.  What about transferring to an online school just for the rest of the year?  It may not be the HS you want for next year, but it takes the burden of the PA reporting requirements off of you.

 

We have heard good things about PALCs.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'd take her out and deschool for the rest of the year (read, cook, explore do projects, etc)

 

I withdrew my son from grade one in the end of January many years ago.  No regrets.  What reasons are there to keep her in until the end of the year?   End of year party? Sense of completion?  She might think it is ok to give up?  If something didn't work for my kids, we found a different approach.  This did not turn them into quitters at all.  Rather, it has helped them evaluate situations and problem solve when things aren't going well.  My kids are both teens now btw.

GL whatever you decide. :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well we did talk this morning. Apparently it's a combination of things. She has a bully, he's been a problem in the past, but I gave her some coping strategies. It was fine for a while, but apparently he's bothering her again. Also, she said that when she goes back to school, only one person would have missed her, and that's the student teacher. I have known for some time that she doesn't have many friends at school, which didn't bother me because i never had many either, but the ones i did have were good ones. She was explaining the day to me, and from what it seems, she doesnt even get to SEE her friends, they're not in her class and classes sit together at lunch, PE, etc.

 

So one other thing was that the teacher "dumbed down" (her words) her spelling because she was failing and instead of teaching the words a different way, she decided to give her a modified list so that she can pass on to the next grade without a fail on her record.

 

My belief is that all of this is contributing to the "allergy". She's 10 and in 4th grade. She's older than the rest (should be in 5th), but because of a medical issue, she is by far smaller than the rest. (She's not a little person, but has a growth deficiency). Okay, I think I've gotten it all out. LOL  Thank you all so much for your supportive responses!!!

 

I'm pretty sure if I were in your situation I'd pull her out.  Being without friends at that age and getting bullied and feeling the teacher is against her can all add up to a bit.

 

Does she have friends outside of school?  Are there any homeschooling groups around you?

 

I wouldn't "de-school."  I'd make it a partnership to "catch up" and keep it fun in the process - working together and/or with a buddy.

 

Just my two cents.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm just here to agree with those who said you can manage the PA homeschool laws.   I moved here from Oregon (very low regulation state) 8 years ago and thought I would never get the hang of the portfolios, etc.

 

Even before you decide if you want your daughter out now or can wait till the school year ends, see if you can find a local homeschool listserve to join.  The "Ask Pauline" site listed above may have information on that.  Look around for an evaluator who will work with you.  It is not necessarily too late to find one, and some will do distance evaluations so it doesn't even have to be someone in your exact area. 

 

I also think that deschooling is a great idea under these circumstances.  If you need a few samples for a portfolio that should be easy enough to do for that grade level and the short amount of time you'd have to account for. 

 

Best wishes to you as you figure this out.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have a conundrum on my hands. My daughter seems to have developed an "allergy" to school. Everything in me and all of my upbringing tells me to tell her to "suck it up". Send her to school and just deal. That's what I would have to do when I was a kid. But I want to be more compassionate to them. I know it's a harsh world, but we teach them to learn to deal with it, not throw them out there and say sink or swim...

 

She gets headaches, stomach aches, nausea, etc. She's been out for three days, and now she's sick again. I had thought to pull them out of school before the end of the school year to homeschool, but friends advised me to wait till the end of the year and then just start next year.

 

So I ask specifically because the laws here are difficult. Filing affidavits and scope and sequence and finding an evaluator at this late date, and, and, and...

 

so..... wwyd? Take them out or let her deal?  (I understand you can't make my decision for me, i just need opinions... I'm at the end of my rope. thanks)

 

scope and sequence is not part of the homeschool law. 
Objectives can be very vague, general goals- my objectives for high-schoolers fits on a single side of a sheet of paper.

 

Anyway, homeschooling in PA is not difficult.  The law is vague, useless, and contradictory... please don't be scared off by people who spend hundreds of dollars on stressful evaluations and spend weeks compiling a 4-inch thick binder "portfolio" that documents every burp, hiccup, potty-break, and pencil-sharpening.  My portfolio, even for high schoolers fits comfortable in a single standard staple. No need to book evaluators months in advance- in my area, there are park days with free evaluations- just show up and sign in.

 

find the basic info here: http://phea.net/

Link to comment
Share on other sites

scope and sequence is not part of the homeschool law. 
Objectives can be very vague, general goals- my objectives for high-schoolers fits on a single side of a sheet of paper.

 

Anyway, homeschooling in PA is not difficult.  The law is vague, useless, and contradictory... please don't be scared off by people who spend hundreds of dollars on stressful evaluations and spend weeks compiling a 4-inch thick binder "portfolio" that documents every burp, hiccup, potty-break, and pencil-sharpening.  My portfolio, even for high schoolers fits comfortable in a single standard staple. No need to book evaluators months in advance- in my area, there are park days with free evaluations- just show up and sign in.

 

find the basic info here: http://phea.net/

 

:lol: :lol:

 

Good catch.  I'd be in big trouble if I had to follow a specific scope and sequence!

 

I do put my ports in binders (1") only because I'm afraid my few pages will get lost amid the packed 4-inch binders. 

 

I know people who mail their portfolio, along with next year's affidavit and goals, in a regular business-size envelope.  Maybe extra postage is required for a bit of extra weight.  (Of course they mail it all certified/return receipt which adds postage.)
 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am so sorry that your dd is go through this.  I would go ahead and pull her out now.  The school year is winding down anyway.  I would find out what she would be working on, if she had completed the year, in math and language arts.  I would finish up those subjects following what she would have learned at the school (since this is happening last minute).  For history, I would find out what time period she was studying, and then have her read books from that time period (maybe use Sonlight as a reading list for the time period).  I would also play games, do crafts, whatever she enjoys.  I would try to find a homeschool group that meets every once in awhile for fun activities - such as homeschool skating at the skating rink, etc.... so she can meet other kids and just have fun with them.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Based on what you wrote, I would pull her out. There are a number of steps you are going to have to do. Someone already linked you to AskPauline, which really outlines everything in a very understandable manner. But really, compared to what your daughter is feeling, jumping through some paper hoops is nothing. 4th grade is not a standardized testing year in PA. Really, what you have to do is very do-able and I'm sure many of us in PA could answer any specific questions you have.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

:lol: :lol:

 

Good catch.  I'd be in big trouble if I had to follow a specific scope and sequence!

 

I do put my ports in binders (1") only because I'm afraid my few pages will get lost amid the packed 4-inch binders. 

 

I know people who mail their portfolio, along with next year's affidavit and goals, in a regular business-size envelope.  Maybe extra postage is required for a bit of extra weight.  (Of course they mail it all certified/return receipt which adds postage.)
 

 

I have mailed mine in- 3 portfolios in one envelope.  :svengo:  I hate going in to the school....  I graduated from there, so I always feel like a little kid in trouble when I'm in the office. :ph34r:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I see a therapist now to work out issues related to bullying in school. Thus, I would get my kid out of the situation.  However, because of the compliance issues in your state, I would try to cut a deal with her to last until the end of the year (unless you can make the compliance work out.)  During that time, if the bullying situation by the school isn't addressed, I would insist that the school offer her private lessons or some other means of finishing the year that protects her from the bully.

 

Of course, I already homeschool and our state doesn't have the same requirements as yours so it makes for an easier decision. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I see a therapist now to work out issues related to bullying in school. Thus, I would get my kid out of the situation. However, because of the compliance issues in your state, I would try to cut a deal with her to last until the end of the year (unless you can make the compliance work out.) During that time, if the bullying situation by the school isn't addressed, I would insist that the school offer her private lessons or some other means of finishing the year that protects her from the bully.

Of course, I already homeschool and our state doesn't have the same requirements as yours so it makes for an easier decision.


The PA requirements are actually easy to comply with. I wouldn't let the requirements shy you away from homeschooling. As others have mentioned, the ask Pauline site outlines everything you have to do.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Another vote for pulling her out now. The PA laws are not a big deal at all. Go to askpauline.com and start clicking on stuff. You'll figure it out pretty quickly. Give yourself an afternoon to read the website, copy one of the affidavits, copy a set of generic objectives, find a notary, and call an evaluator. Ask the evaluator what they'll want to see.

You'll then want to spend a bit of time figuring out what you'll teach for the next 40-odd days of school. That will take a weekend or so. But you can still pull her out even if you don't have materials yet. Go to Khanacademy.com and work through what they have there and check out a ton of library books on various subjects. Have her draw a picture of something she found interesting in each book and write a caption to the picture. Maybe have her write a paragraph every few books and then edit it with her for spelling, vocab, grammar. That'll be good for the next 2 months.

P.S. Start taking a bunch of field trips, too. Museums, nature walks, historical sites, zoos, factories. Don't forget, you can work on school over the summer if you like. You don't have to wait until August/Sept if you don't want to if you feel like you need to "catch up" to something. The next school year begins July 1st.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Another vote for "pull her out now".  Long ago I pulled my kids out in the middle of the year, and never regretted it.  Plus, I have a dd who is 10 and when I think of her in that situation -- no way, not one single day more.  And, I'm totally with you on the idea that kids need to learn how to deal with the real world and I applaud your desire to do so, but it can wait until she's older.  

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Another vote to pull her out. I had those same "symptoms" growing up. It is a horrible feeling to wake up and get ready to go to a place where it seems no one likes you and makes fun of you. I "survived" but it had left lasting effects to my self esteem to this day. Bullying is detrimental to a child's mental health.

Also it does not teach you to "deal with the real world." It teaches you to withdraw in a shell. A school situation is not the real world.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...