Delay high school or gap year after high school?

[Kim C]

My ds13, is working at an 8th grade level this year, which is a year ahead of most of his friends his age who are in public school. Academically he is doing well and it has been a good year. However, I feel he needs to focus more for high school. He needs to step up his game with note taking, paper writing, being more responsible, etc. So, I have been thinking about taking a year to work on those things before starting high school. We do not want to take 5 years for high school. If we continue on to 9th grade in the fall, he will be a young 17 when he graduates and barely 17.5 when he starts college. I have thought about a gap year after high school before starting college.

 

I have not talked to my son about this yet. I don't want him to see delaying high school as a bad thing or as a sign that I don't think he can do it. I just feel it would be good for him to mature a little before tackling high school and cc.

 

So, I would like to hear from the hive. Based on your experiences, what would you suggest? Do you think it is better to delay high school to work on skills needed for high school and then college or is it better to press on and do a gap year if needed after high school?

 

TIA,

Kim

[PeterPan]

What have you been calling him in social situations, like when registering for a camp?  The norms for grade levels vary with the part of the country and the school.  In some parts of the country, what your ds is doing is perfectly normal work for the top end 7th graders.  Makes more sense to be a top end 7th grader than an average 8th grader.  Also, you may find your state offers free DE that makes it easy to keep going and earn college credits those last few years.  

[EKS]

We're doing a gap year next year (and possibly another one the year after).  My son is in 8th grade at a b&m school this year but is the age of a 6th grader.  My plan is to work on reading comprehension, writing, note taking, and organization without the additional stress of high school.  We will be using all high school/college level resources and output will be at a 9th grade level (or above), so I will be documenting it as though he were in high school just in case early graduation actually is the best thing for him.

 

I would do the gap year now (and he can always do another one after high school too).

[Kim C]

What have you been calling him in social situations, like when registering for a camp?  The norms for grade levels vary with the part of the country and the school.  In some parts of the country, what your ds is doing is perfectly normal work for the top end 7th graders.  Makes more sense to be a top end 7th grader than an average 8th grader.  Also, you may find your state offers free DE that makes it easy to keep going and earn college credits those last few years.  

 

Usually the classes or camps ask for an age, but if they ask for a grade I would put 8th. I didn't really assign him to a grade early on, but people kept asking and it came a bigger deal for him.

 

What is 'free DE'?

 

[claluck]

We are in the same position.  I have a kid a year plus ahead of his peers academically.  We have decided to forge ahead and do high school.  It is something he really wants to do.  I have told him his writing is not up to par but he has agreed to work extra hard on that for the remainder of this school year and even over the summer.  We will also be giving extra guidance in that area next year in "9th grade".  I decided to forge ahead because dh and I decided that even the best of kids get "senioritis" around 17 and we have had a number of friends who are fabulous parents have kids who have rebelled and "quit" school around 17.  We figure hey if our kid decides to do that then well at least he will be "done" with what we are requiring for high school.  Mine would also be 17 when he graduates from us but we figure on keeping him home and having him test some college credits and take a few credits at the local cc.  I know it isn't the most popular opinion of some but we have no way of knowing which road our kids will take on the teenager track.  WE would all love to think we have perfectly motivated and great children and in homeschool especially where we can focus on good morals and ethics but alas all children grow up and get to decide what they want to do for themselves.  That is just my opinion though

 

Christina

[claluck]

I think she meant "distance education" for DE

 

[Gwen in VA]

We had our ds2 repeat 8th grade. He proceeded academically, but holding him back allowed him the time to --

1) mature

2) be REALLY strong academically in high school so he could get in to his dream college

3) have enough free time that he could pursue his quirky but fascinating EC interests

 

Disadvantages -- it was really hard for him to see his friends leave the nest when he still had another 1-2 years at home.

[Laura Corin]

I can compare Calvin and another child in his school.  Both were a year ahead.  For Calvin it has been brilliant - he is exactly where he should be and is doing very well.  The other child, whilst advanced when younger, found the later years harder.  Her mother decided to keep her back a year (I think she retook one 'high school' year) so that she would be closer to the top of her class, rather than a bit below average.

 

We had talked enthusiastically to Calvin about taking a gap year, but he has decided to spend a month travelling this summer and go to university at 17.

 

L

[PeterPan]

Usually the classes or camps ask for an age, but if they ask for a grade I would put 8th. I didn't really assign him to a grade early on, but people kept asking and it came a bigger deal for him.

 

What is 'free DE'?

No, DE=Dual Enrollment.  Many places will allow juniors and seniors to DE for 1/2 price, either on their physical campus or their online classes.  This can be a tremendous opportunity.  Some states, like ours, even kick in and cover it.  

[Pawz4me]

To elaborate a little more, DE or dual enrollment is when a high school student takes a college class (either at a community college, a four-year school or online through one of those) and it counts as both high school and college credit.

[Kim C]

No, DE=Dual Enrollment.  Many places will allow juniors and seniors to DE for 1/2 price, either on their physical campus or their online classes.  This can be a tremendous opportunity.  Some states, like ours, even kick in and cover it.  

 

Ohhhh. Thanks, I'm new to the high school lingo. :)

 

No, our state, Virginia, does not give us a break on cost for DE and the cc near us doesn't either.

[shadanjem]

I started college at 15 (living away from home).  Its a gamble either way.  I was sooooo bored in high school, staying would have been torture, despite EC activities I enjoyed.  Yet, the focus on only academics meant I missed some of the fun I could have had (not partying, but taking classes for pleasure, etc).  

SC has a Sept 1 cut off.  Our DS is Sept 29.  We made the decision this year, with his agreement, to forge ahead, call this year 8th, and he will graduate shortly before he turns 18.  (note: he's already 5'9", towers over most of the 8th graders, and feels physically awkward around 7th graders, so that might have influenced his decision)

DS is considering medicine (like dad), so either he'll start college in 4 years, or take a year and consider mission work in a Spanish speaking country.  We've considered using the "gap" year to pursue a trade - welding at the community college is a possibility, as we also have a farm and he is used to working hard.  

All that said, if he reaches 17, decides, nah, I want another year at home, we will just quickly adapt the transcript and go from there.  

[chiguirre]

My ds13, is working at an 8th grade level this year, which is a year ahead of most of his friends his age who are in public school. Academically he is doing well and it has been a good year. However, I feel he needs to focus more for high school. He needs to step up his game with note taking, paper writing, being more responsible, etc. So, I have been thinking about taking a year to work on those things before starting high school. We do not want to take 5 years for high school. If we continue on to 9th grade in the fall, he will be a young 17 when he graduates and barely 17.5 when he starts college. I have thought about a gap year after high school before starting college.

You can take high school level classes before freshman year. They usually don't show up on the transcript, but you do start the high school sequence ahead and can take AP or dual enrollment classes instead of the usual sequence. For example, T is going to do algebra, physical science, Latin 1 and Spanish 2 next year. Those are technically high school classes, but they're often taken in middle school by accelerated students (or in other countries by regular academic track students). I have no plans to graduate T early, but her high school time would be better spent taking AP Calc and Stat, AP or dual enrollment sciences, ancient Greek and Mandarin, etc. rather than starting high school in algebra, phys sci, and Latin 1. For T, Spanish wouldn't be taken seriously by a selective college since it's obvious that she comes from a bilingual family, but she still does need to learn it. There's lots to do in high school, you won't run out of classes if you don't call him a freshman next year.

[PeterPan]

Ohhhh. Thanks, I'm new to the high school lingo. :)

 

No, our state, Virginia, does not give us a break on cost for DE and the cc near us doesn't either.

Still look at the individual schools.  Some of them definitely do.

[Kim C]

Still look at the individual schools.  Some of them definitely do.

 

That's good to know. I had no idea that some do that.
 

[Ellie]

My ds13, is working at an 8th grade level this year, which is a year ahead of most of his friends his age who are in public school. Academically he is doing well and it has been a good year. However, I feel he needs to focus more for high school. He needs to step up his game with note taking, paper writing, being more responsible, etc. So, I have been thinking about taking a year to work on those things before starting high school. We do not want to take 5 years for high school. If we continue on to 9th grade in the fall, he will be a young 17 when he graduates and barely 17.5 when he starts college. I have thought about a gap year after high school before starting college.

 

I have not talked to my son about this yet. I don't want him to see delaying high school as a bad thing or as a sign that I don't think he can do it. I just feel it would be good for him to mature a little before tackling high school and cc.

 

So, I would like to hear from the hive. Based on your experiences, what would you suggest? Do you think it is better to delay high school to work on skills needed for high school and then college or is it better to press on and do a gap year if needed after high school?

 

TIA,

Kim

 

I was 13 in the 8th grade. I graduated in June and was 18 in July. o_0

 

Mr. Ellie graduated in June and was 18 in September, when he enrolled in a community college. After the first semester, he joined the Air Force and served for four years.

 

IMHO, graduation from high school should be about completing a course of study, not about age or maturity.

 

My vote would be a gap year, *if necessary.* I don't think you can predict at this point what your ds's academic abilities will be in four years.

[Kim C]

You can take high school level classes before freshman year. They usually don't show up on the transcript, but you do start the high school sequence ahead and can take AP or dual enrollment classes instead of the usual sequence. For example, T is going to do algebra, physical science, Latin 1 and Spanish 2 next year. Those are technically high school classes, but they're often taken in middle school by accelerated students (or in other countries by regular academic track students). I have no plans to graduate T early, but her high school time would be better spent taking AP Calc and Stat, AP or dual enrollment sciences, ancient Greek and Mandarin, etc. rather than starting high school in algebra, phys sci, and Latin 1. For T, Spanish wouldn't be taken seriously by a selective college since it's obvious that she comes from a bilingual family, but she still does need to learn it. There's lots to do in high school, you won't run out of classes if you don't call him a freshman next year.

 

I'm not worried about running out of classes. I just want to make sure my son is up for the challenge. He took algebra 1 last year and is doing geometry this year. I plan for him to take AP classes and duel enroll for chemistry and physics. I just want to make sure he's ready for those classes when we get there.
 

[chiguirre]

I'm not worried about running out of classes. I just want to make sure my son is up for the challenge. He took algebra 1 last year and is doing geometry this year. I plan for him to take AP classes and duel enroll for chemistry and physics. I just want to make sure he's ready for those classes when we get there.

If you take something in "middle school" and bomb it, you just don't count it, it doesn't wreck your GPA. I'd rather see how T does with conceptual physics or chem in middle school and then decide if she needs to retake it in high school or if she can handle an AP class. It's easier to decide you need a second year of a subject if you're not under the gun to get it done by the time you're 18.

It's a tremendous advantage to be ready for AP courses early in your hs career because you can shape your hs path to reflect your personal interests. It also frees up space for unusual classes or research opportunities that you can't do if you're still checking boxes for the typical math, science or foreign language sequence.

I'd rather have my child graduate at 18 and use DE and APs for challenge rather than apply to college as a 17 yo. But, I don't think you really have to pick just yet. You could start a transcript and decide later what the last four years of K-12 schooling were. As long as your English and history credits pass muster as hs classes, the rest is more flexible if you're already doing hs math, science and foreign language.

[claluck]

Haha I feel dumb..  :blushing:I knew DE meant dual enrollment.  I was just looking at distance education classes for my Dh this morning (for continuing ed credits for bonus at work).  That was the first thing that popped into my head.   Sorry for that.

 

I think overall you have decide what is right for your family and your child.  What fits your goals and his?  Does he have passions or interests to pursue.  Most kids this age don't have some definite life course to pursue but if he did that would make a difference.  

[Kim C]

 

I think overall you have decide what is right for your family and your child.  What fits your goals and his?  Does he have passions or interests to pursue.  Most kids this age don't have some definite life course to pursue but if he did that would make a difference.  

 

Yeah, that's what I'm trying to do. My son's passion is writing and he wants to become an author eventually. Luckily he knows he needs to get a degree in something and have a way to support himself until that first bestseller is out there. Aside from that, he doesn't have a goal at this point. The possible major changes periodically, which is to be expected at his age. I didn't even know what I wanted to major in when I started college.

 

My goal is for him to have the classes he needs under his belt when it's time to apply for college, no matter what direction he decides to go.

[claluck]

I say just let him go for it.  That's what I would do.  I think if he is capable of the work you can just do it and have him work on dual enrollment or exam credit that last year.  You know what he is capable of.  If he can do it why hold him back?  My only concern with not holding back is the idea of sending a kid away to college too soon. Dh and I have toyed with the idea of telling the kids (so long as they are capable) that we will give them their "diploma" when they have an associates degree.  The kids could spend the 4 years of high school with me testing out of a certain number of credits.  I looked at the community college and half of the credits can be tested out of (I believe around 30).  So if they test half of the credits out during their "home high school" years then they can take actual courses during their senior year and that extra year before they turn 18 and they will have an associates degree.   I am not sure how dual enrollment will work here.  I will have to work through the local high school to arrange it.  Luckily my DH works there 2 days a week and may have some sway there.  It is also WAY cheaper.  So even if I have to jump through hoops I may pursue 2 years worth of that.  More than testing.  I still have a couple years before I am going to worry about that though.  

 

That's just my opinion and I have never been on the other end (having not graduated a kid yet).

 

Christina

 

 

[Nscribe]

We opted not to delay and favored diving on in and then seeing after a couple of years where Dd landed.  In hindsight (2 years later) I am glad we forged on ahead.  Dd will likely take an extra year, but we have so many more options than if we had delayed 2 years ago.

 

Those who are set on PSAT scores as a Junior for National Merit and such have a bit more to weigh as they go.  We opted to not go with the PSAT at all.  Dd wanted to do AP classes, and even though PSAT scores have their benefits, she would need to do enough testing along the path with AP, SAT2's and ACT/SAT.  It is still possible for her to opt to take the PSAT route, but I doubt she will.

 

We are way out of synch in our thinking as compared with her same aged friends.  They seem to be a very anxious to get on with it bunch overall and are either starting college next year or entering their Senior year of high school (thus one to two years ahead of typical for age). 

 

Dd may face some sort of personal crisis over the next couple of years as she plugs on while they move on, but so far she is very aware and content with her path.  The key is she has options because we preserved extra time for the end instead of the beginning.

[kiana]

If you call your kid 8th grade now and change your mind later, as long as you have kept records, it should not be difficult to re-designate what he's done as 9th grade, what he did in 9th grade as 10th grade, etcetera. Regardless of your decision, I would keep records now just to keep doors open for both of you for the future. 

[Nscribe]

  My only concern with not holding back is the idea of sending a kid away to college too soon.

 

Christina

I see a lot of that happening in general.  It strikes me that Dd's cohort's parents and eventually the kids themselves have always been very focused on accelerated achievement.  If I had a dollar for every time the word "gifted" emerged in conversations over the years it would pay for college and grad school. 

 

I am not sure what the race is really about at this stage of their lives and our world.  We are coming out of a recession/living in a low growth-high underemployment era, and you can't listen to a week's worth of news without some story about how difficult it is for recent grads to find appropriate jobs.  A kid starting college at 16 years old next Fall will be 20 when they graduate college in four years.  Baby Boomers are holding on to their jobs as long as possible and the market is flush with degree'd Millenials wanting a chance at something more than chief barrista .  I can't help but wonder if there will be 20 year olds who raced into and thru school to finish and not have a job or be able to buy a drink to drown their sorrows in upon graduating.

 

In today's world of abundant offerings, it is not necessary to move on to college at an accelerated pace in order to be challenged and really learn.  I am told that the point is that they can do challenging work where it will really count toward a degree that matters (and there is something to that argument).  The shine is off the bloom for undergrad degrees for me.  I figure that the BA/BS is becoming so common it is a bar to cross, but not an end itself.  Maybe I buy too much into the thinking that says our kids will need to train and retrain far more over their lives than our parents or we did. 

 

Yeah, I worry about the ones going too early too....

[snowbeltmom]

My ds13, is working at an 8th grade level this year, which is a year ahead of most of his friends his age who are in public school. Academically he is doing well and it has been a good year. However, I feel he needs to focus more for high school. He needs to step up his game with note taking, paper writing, being more responsible, etc. So, I have been thinking about taking a year to work on those things before starting high school. We do not want to take 5 years for high school. If we continue on to 9th grade in the fall, he will be a young 17 when he graduates and barely 17.5 when he starts college. I have thought about a gap year after high school before starting college.

 

I have not talked to my son about this yet. I don't want him to see delaying high school as a bad thing or as a sign that I don't think he can do it. I just feel it would be good for him to mature a little before tackling high school and cc.

 

So, I would like to hear from the hive. Based on your experiences, what would you suggest? Do you think it is better to delay high school to work on skills needed for high school and then college or is it better to press on and do a gap year if needed after high school?

 

TIA,

Kim

 

Based on the bolded, if you need to declare a grade for your son for next year, I would consider him an 8th grader.  However, by declaring him an 8th grader, that does not mean his courses of study needs to be at a lower difficulty level than it would be if you decided to declare him a 9th grader next year. 

 

If your state does not require you to declare a grade level for homeschooling, you and your son don't have to make a decision now, and even if you do, you can change your mind down the road.  I readjusted my oldest son's grade level in high school, after he had a number of standardized tests on file with the College Board.  It only took a phone call to the College Board and his grade level was adjusted on all of his standardized test records.

 

Just make sure you keep good records next year and subsequent years.  In a couple of years you can then revisit the situation and determine then what course of action to take.  You don't need to make this decision now when your son is 13.

 

Good luck.
 

[Kim C]

Thanks everyone for sharing your thoughts and experiences. You've given me a lot to think about.  I guess high school has me in a panic at the moment. My son can be very hard on himself when he doesn't do as well as he would like, so I just want to make sure he's up for the challenge.