Silly boys

[GTJo1996]

I need help figuring out how to better communicate with DS (age 5.5). He thinks everything should be funny and will make jokes when I am trying to assess where he is with sounding out letters. Unfortunately he is so smart that he makes jokes and the answer is usually correct - if I can sift thru his way of thinking. Here is an example.

Mom: What sound does letter Y make?

Son: Yuh Yuh.

Mom: Good! Can you think of a word that starts with the Y sound?
(I am thinking about Dr Seuss's ABC book "A yellow yak with Yolanda on its back!" )

Son: JOEY!!!!! (grinning the whole time because he knows it has a Y in it)

Hmm. Well you see his name is Joey. And he knows it has a Y in it because he can spell it. And while I don't really enunciate that YUH at the end of his name, he does sometimes. So technically, the word DOES have the Yuh sound....but I asked for a word that BEGINS with the Y sound. ARGH!!!

If we are doing math, he will give me a wrong answer and then after a few beats say "JUST KIDDING!" and provide the correct answer.

Anybody know how to cut thru this silliness and get down to work? Or is this simply a maturity issue that will eventually go away? It is quite frustrating to me because I have limited one on one time with him. We have plenty of silly time throughout the day. How do I convince him to just give it to me straight during school time?

[twooakharborhicks]

If you find out let me know, because seriously my 4.5 year old son is the exact same way. 

[MinivanMom]

There have been plenty of times where I've said, "There is no silliness right now. This is school time. Silliness is for playtime," but the only thing that will really resolve it is time and maturity.

[mommymonster]

You know, this might not be a popular response, but letting him be silly isn't the worst thing in the world. He's 5. Life is long and sometimes hard. A bit of silliness makes him happy. Yes, school is important, but that doesn't mean it has to be devoid of silly or emotional connection. Maybe he's feeling a bit of stress when you are doing your assessments and he wants to break the tension.

 

If you're truly annoyed by it, you might want to institute "Silly Time" each day -- five minute breaks three times (or whatever you can handle) where DS5 AND you do your "best" silliness. Make it a competition of sorts-- wiggling, giggling, jokes, whatever makes him happy. If he starts to get off course during a lesson, tell him to remember it for silly time (and then remember to do a Silly Time, and remind him of his "move). 

[dragonflyer]

Here a few suggestions that keep things moving at our house:

1. Mom is stupid - Oh! I do love how Joey and boy and silly all START with the 'y' sound. Y-oey y-oy y-illy...  It keeps things light while letting my son correct mom who just cannot get anything right.

2. Stickers - anything done well on paper gets a sticker.

3. Mom gets your treat - Here are 10 M&Ms/Skittles/mini-marshmellows/chocolate chips, if you answer correctly the first time you get to eat the treat; if you give an incorrect answer mom eats one of your treats.

[HeartatHome]

I think you need to be firm since he gets plenty of silly time in his day. This might be unpopular to say but I think that 5 is old enough to respect mom. I get that he is a child and kiddos are silly but if it's every.single.time with every.single.question then I think it's a discipline issue.

I have a dd that can get quite silly so I understand but if I allowed it to continue then she would basically be in control of our school time and not mom. If it's on occasion I laugh with her and let it go because she's a kid and we have fun together but once it starts getting out of hand and takes over school time then it's not ok.

I gently but firmly just tell her that there is a time to be silly and right now is not the time and I ask the question again. Also, don't show that it gets under your skin (sometimes they try to get a reaction) but just firmly expect an answer without too much emotion. If he continues then you need to come up with a couple of consequences and follow through. A few times of that and he'll eventually get that mom means business. :-)

[Korrale]

I would say "what?!?! Your name isn't Yoey. That's silly. Try again."
I have a silly boy too. Yesterday we were doing some math word problems involving a variety to things and he kept wanting to out the word fart on the end. "Jack has 7 lemon farts, Annie has 13 lemon farts, how many more lemon farts does Annie have than Jack?" I just tell him he is silly. But I let him do it as long as it does not interfer with learning. It is a fine line and I have to tell him it is enough at times.

[PeterPan]

Actually /j/ and /y/ are similar phonetically, meaning his answer was more correct than he knew.  I would have told him so.  

 

Mainly he sounds bored.  Move on to something that challenges him.  You're not taking him seriously (as in giving him serious intellectual challenge), so why should he be serious about the situation?

[boscopup]

I had to cut out silliness from my middle son. He would continue on until I put a stop to it.

That said, I also agree with Elizabeth that it sounds like he's bored. Are you working at his actual level?

[Alice]

I have your son, only he is now 7 1/2. I'm sorry to tell you it doesn't get much better. My only hope is that my husband says he was the exact same way as a kid and now he's a pretty normal guy. :) 

 

My silly guy responds well when I am silly back, as much as I can be and still get learning done. I figure an advantage of homeschooling is that he can be silly and learn at the same time. Like a poster above I'll let him make fart jokes and other silly responses as long as he's learning the point of the lesson. 

 

I've also done the "Mom gets your treat" thing here and that's very effective. Put out 10 M&Ms/ jellybeans/Skittles and tell him for every silly answer you will eat one but if he gives you real answers he gets to eat them all. 

 

If it's really interfering with learning I will tell my son in the firm Mom tone to calm down and try and stop. We've also talked a LOT about how everything is not a joke and that there are times I need him to not be silly. We also came up with a hand signal that I can just quietly do to remind him to tone it down a bit. That keeps me from having to stop teaching and give a lecture on silliness and it keeps him from constantly being embarrassed in front of his brother about getting reprimanded (an issue for us, maybe not for you). 

 

I also find my silly guy needs to move a lot, more than his brother did. So I let him do things like spelling while doing jumping jacks or math standing on his head. Or if he's being really silly I'll tell him to get up and run up and down the stairs 10 times. Not as a punishment but just to get the energy out. 

 

This may not apply as much at 5 but one thing we are really discovering with our silly son is that he has taken on the role of silly/goofy/fun sibling. That's how he sees himself. I think that's because he is really funny and a natural entertainer and we have all unconsciously praised him for that more than anything else. Not when he's silly during school but at other times in the day. I think now he is falling into the role of class clown, just in a small class. One thing that seems to be helping is to consciously tell him that we do love his silliness but that he is so much more than silly. I make an effort to praise other things about him and point out to him especially when he does really well in school. He has seen his brother as the "smart" one and himself as the funny one. But gradually I'm seeing that change.