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Public school is never an option-- is that true for anyone else?


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I understand and appreciate that. I just wish some other people in this thread focused more on their own reality rather than Sheldon's.  :)

 

LOL Yes, because that is what these boards are all about. Sheldon, who is not new here, started this thread to inquire about other posters' realities. But then she had nothing kind or humble to say to those who disagreed with her or challenged her position. It should have been labeled a JAWM. She asked if anyone else felt the same as she did. Some people said they did, and some said they did not. Well crap. That was unexpected. LOL At any rate, people on both sides shared their reasons for their feelings on the matter, shared their realities, as requested. Maybe if Sheldon was strong enough in her own convictions to focus on her own reality instead of wondering if there were any other "lone" holdouts, this whole thread would never have been necessary. But that's just mean, of course. We come here for support when we need support. Of course we are interested in each others' realities, but unless we post a JAWM thread, we shouldn't be surprised or overly offended when people don't agree with us. 

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I'm sorry. I haven't been reading the thread, but just want to chime in. . . public school or private school is not an option for us. Period. It's not religious for us -- it's about the bullying and bad culture that the kids would be exposed to. Plus I think it really creates a strong family bond to homeschool.

 

Alley

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I ask again, since nobody answered my question the first time, how much money/insurance does someone have to have before they are "allowed" to hold this opinion of never using public school?

Maybe for each child to have a trust fund from birth that would cover private school costs from K-12th grade should anything happen. I believe children's trust funds are exempt from being touch if parents go into bankruptcy but I am not well versed with my state laws in this respect.

Just for fun, I calculated that I would need to have $310k in savings to pay just the school fees for a low cost secular private school for the rest of my kids's education. That excludes school uniforms, lab fees, book fees and other miscellaneous fees. That also did not take into account the annual increase in school fees in my area.
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LOL Yes, because that is what these boards are all about. Sheldon, who is not new here, started this thread to inquire about other posters' realities. But then she had nothing kind or humble to say to those who disagreed with her or challenged her position. It should have been labeled a JAWM. She asked if anyone else felt the same as she did. Some people said they did, and some said they did not. Well crap. 

 

For the first 113 posts, I agree with you. After that there was a filament in this thread (but not all subsequent posts) which were less about whether people (dis)agreed wrt their own situations, and more about whether Sheldon was allowed to have that expectation for her own family.

 

If I post something and ask if others feel the same way, I expect them to say yes or no (and possibly why) if it's not a JAWM post. I don't expect them to tell me why I'm not allowed to feel this way, especially if their assertion is based on my own private financial situation, about which they know nothing. Who gets to tell me I can't afford something?

 

We'll have to agree to disagree. I have seen too much IRL drama this weekend and I'm exhausted.  :)

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Both of my dds are in ps middle school. They are thriving and it is far from a cesspool. I wish my middle school experience could have been like theirs. I never thought they would go to ps for middle school but I did think they might for high school if they expressed a desire. Oldest said she wanted to try it and we felt she was mature enough and old enough to make that decision. So we let her try it and it's been a great experience. Our relationship is also stronger and we are closer (and things weren't actually bad before, but they're even better now), so I know we did the right thing. Now youngest is there and it's been even better for her.

 

I'm glad I wasn't too stuck in never allowing it, but I'm also not offended by those that choose differently or say never. I do have a problem with someone who seems to call all of public school a cesspool, though. I've met some bad home schoolers but I don't judge all by that experience. So, I hope others aren't judging the whole of public education by a few limited experiences because there are some really good ones out there.

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Sheldon, when a person has to abandon long-held convictions -- even when they must be abandoned because of poor planning -- that is traumatic for them. The things that lead people to put their children in public school when they had previously abhorred the idea, these can be very scary things. People may have a child with needs much greater than they had anticipated, or they may realise that the education they have been providing for several years is not adequate, or they may have had a change in their faith convictions, or they may be suffering from depression, or they may have had a financial reversal. It usually doesn't come from a place of happiness and strength, even if, a year later, the parent ends up very happy with the decision. Making changes we never thought we'd make is a scary and even shaming thing to do.

 

If people are turning around and questioning your choices, it has nothing to do with you, what you would or would not do. It has to do with them and the place of insecurity they are coming from right now, and perhaps even their desire to be validated by you as a person they respect.

 

It would be a very worthwhile thing if you could respond to them from a place of charity.

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This was from the OP.  

 

 

 

They always try to convince that I should do the same and are offended when I tell them that public school is not an option for us.  Ever.   

 

Why is it that when people make a change in their personal lives, that they then try to convince everyone around them to do the same?  Particularly when the change is opposite of what brought those people together?  

 

It is like a group of friends met at a barbecue competition as competitors and started spending time together as friends.  Then one of the group decided to go vegan, and urged the rest of the group to go vegan too, and got offended when told it wasn't an option.  

 

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This was from the OP.


Why is it that when people make a change in their personal lives, that they then try to convince everyone around them to do the same? Particularly when the change is opposite of what brought those people together?

It is like a group of friends met at a barbecue competition as competitors and started spending time together as friends. Then one of the group decided to go vegan, and urged the rest of the group to go vegan too, and got offended when told it wasn't an option.


From my personal experience with this it has a lot to do with them trying to feel validated in the decision they made and make themselves feel less guilty because they haven't come to grips with the change they made.

I recently had a friend who was home schooling accept a job at a local private school because they needed money. She enrolled her kids in said private school and after being there a week started telling me I should consider enrolling my kids. She went on and on about how much better family life was, our kids would be in the same classes, they'll be getting a great education. All things not meant to be insulting but it was insulting because she was making assumptions that my family life is bad and the education I'm giving them is bad. After hearing it more then once I respectfully told her our decision to home school is not up for discussion with non family members. When she brought it up again I said I accept that you chose not to home school for reasons that were important to you but home schooling is our only option now and if you can't respect that this will have to be our last conversation as friends.

I know she feels guilty about her decision to no longer home school and wants a close friend to validate it by considering doing the same thing. I'm not one to lie or falsely lead anyone to believe my intentions are something that they aren't so I wouldn't humor her. And me reassuring her that she made the right decision was not enough validation for her.
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