Alicia64 Posted March 17, 2014 Share Posted March 17, 2014 My understanding is that when men finally admit how suicidal they are . . . that they are far, far, far down the road than women. Meaning, women will come out w/ it a lot earlier and admit how bad the problem is. Whereas men hold it in until it's REALLY bad. That's why I'd take it super seriously -- and override him when he says "he'll make it," he'll be fine" or whatever. Just ignore him and get him into a doctor. Pronto. My understanding is also that sometime people become so depressed that getting help seems too exhausting/difficult/impossible etc. I'm a huge believe in the right medication. Hopefully he'll get help fast. It will be like night and day for him. You're wonderful for caring so much! Alley Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elfgivas Posted March 17, 2014 Share Posted March 17, 2014 have you tried calling your son's doctor to see if he might have some helpful resources? fwiw, ann Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jrn Posted March 17, 2014 Share Posted March 17, 2014 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovinglife Posted March 17, 2014 Author Share Posted March 17, 2014 Getting a couple things into place. I'll update when I know more. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted March 17, 2014 Share Posted March 17, 2014 Getting a couple things into place. I'll update when I know more. Praying for you. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Alyssa* Posted March 17, 2014 Share Posted March 17, 2014 :grouphug: Suicide hits too close to home for me, but it sounds like everyone has given you pretty good advice, so I don't feel I need to add anything. Please know I am thinking about you and praying for you at this moment. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthwestMom Posted March 17, 2014 Share Posted March 17, 2014 No matter what he says, do not stop until you have: --Obtained a psych evaluation --A firm plan implemented and in place for therapy and any other care deemed necessary (meds, for example) --A thorough physical with an MD. If he has an undiagnosed sleep or metabolic disorder, that could be impacting his depression. --Help for YOU. Therapy? A suicide support group? You will not be able to walk through this without support. Consider it just as urgent as getting him help. Do not stop. Do not let him persuade you that he is "fine." Cling to those awful moments last night when you *knew* without a doubt that something is wrong and he needs help. Use the truth from those moments to keep you strong to get him the help he needs. :grouphug: YES X 1,000,000. I also have a DH with mental health issues. What he is saying, combined with his interactions with your kids, causes me grave concern. Stabilizing your family and keeping everyone safe must be your urgent #1 priority. I am so sorry and I have :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: for all of you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sherri in MI Posted March 17, 2014 Share Posted March 17, 2014 Glad you have some things in place. You're right to take it seriously. You're in my prayers. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sherri in MI Posted March 17, 2014 Share Posted March 17, 2014 No matter what he says, do not stop until you have: --Obtained a psych evaluation --A firm plan implemented and in place for therapy and any other care deemed necessary (meds, for example) --A thorough physical with an MD. If he has an undiagnosed sleep or metabolic disorder, that could be impacting his depression. --Help for YOU. Therapy? A suicide support group? You will not be able to walk through this without support. Consider it just as urgent as getting him help. Do not stop. Do not let him persuade you that he is "fine." Cling to those awful moments last night when you *knew* without a doubt that something is wrong and he needs help. Use the truth from those moments to keep you strong to get him the help he needs. :grouphug: :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted March 17, 2014 Share Posted March 17, 2014 When my (x)husband talked similarly, I gave him the choice of my taking him to the local psychological ward or me calling 911. I would not allow the burden of the mental illness to be "on me." I knew he was stressed, and ill. I know the toll of 2 years of medical madness put on him. I know he felt abandoned by his sons. I "understood" his situation. But that did not make his statements "fair" or him "safe". My need for safety, and the kids' need for safety trumped honoring his stated wishes for non intervention. He chose the psych ward - they kept him for 3 days. He's since been back at least once that I know of. Mental illness exacerbated by stress or medical issues is awful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VeteranMom Posted March 17, 2014 Share Posted March 17, 2014 I'd have him first checked out by your family doctor. I think medical issues need to be ruled out while you're exploring what's going on with your dh from the mental health side. I no longer jump right to "depression" as a diagnosis and first look at it as a symptom of health problem. I'm sorry your family is suffering right now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirty ethel rackham Posted March 17, 2014 Share Posted March 17, 2014 I'd have him first checked out by your family doctor. I think medical issues need to be ruled out while you're exploring what's going on with your dh from the mental health side. I no longer jump right to "depression" as a diagnosis and first look at it as a symptom of health problem. I'm sorry your family is suffering right now. I would not put off an emergency evaluation to investigate other causes. When in crisis, you take care of the critical issue first. Yes, there can be other causes and co-morbid issues. But the immediate safety of all members of the family takes priority. A good psychiatrist and therapist will not just throw medication at a patient without looking at other health issues. If they don't, you can insist then. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovinglife Posted March 17, 2014 Author Share Posted March 17, 2014 So, I made an appt. with a family dr. for tomorrow afternoon and told him he can find out about sick leave and take off for a few hours tomorrow so he can get help, and see one of two therapists I booked for Wednesday morning. Of course, he says none of that is necessary. Everything is just fine in his book and I should forget about it. I told him he has the choice of getting a good nights rest tonight and then the appts. Tuesday or Wednesday or visiting the ER with me tonight, and then missing some work tomorrow anyways. Stubborn son of a gun thinks I'm totally overreacting and trying to ruin the trip we are supposed to leave for on wed. afternoon. Totally what I'm aiming for (; That said, I don't think he is in immediate danger at the moment, but feel it is essential to follow up on what happened last night. Please pray for my strength- he is not a willing participant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted March 17, 2014 Share Posted March 17, 2014 Women are usually tougher than they think they are. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirty ethel rackham Posted March 17, 2014 Share Posted March 17, 2014 Good for you! Way to be strong on this. The trip may have to be postponed. Praying for you. It is such a difficult place to be in even with a willing participant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted March 17, 2014 Share Posted March 17, 2014 When my (x)husband talked similarly, I gave him the choice of my taking him to the local psychological ward or me calling 911. I would not allow the burden of the mental illness to be "on me." I knew he was stressed, and ill. I know the toll of 2 years of medical madness put on him. I know he felt abandoned by his sons. I "understood" his situation. But that did not make his statements "fair" or him "safe". My need for safety, and the kids' need for safety trumped honoring his stated wishes for non intervention. He chose the psych ward - they kept him for 3 days. He's since been back at least once that I know of. Mental illness exacerbated by stress or medical issues is awful. OMG, a million times yes. This is exactly how I felt. if necessary there is help in the middle of the night. Please keep us updated on your appointment and you all will be in my thoughts tonight. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 So, I made an appt. with a family dr. for tomorrow afternoon and told him he can find out about sick leave and take off for a few hours tomorrow so he can get help, and see one of two therapists I booked for Wednesday morning. Of course, he says none of that is necessary. Everything is just fine in his book and I should forget about it. I told him he has the choice of getting a good nights rest tonight and then the appts. Tuesday or Wednesday or visiting the ER with me tonight, and then missing some work tomorrow anyways. Stubborn son of a gun thinks I'm totally overreacting and trying to ruin the trip we are supposed to leave for on wed. afternoon. Totally what I'm aiming for (; That said, I don't think he is in immediate danger at the moment, but feel it is essential to follow up on what happened last night. Please pray for my strength- he is not a willing participant. Good for you. Stand your ground. ALSO--you must provide information to the evaluator. As much as possible, as specifically as possible. Make a list ahead of time. You can depend upon your husband to minimize and not share as fully as needed. You must supply information fully, openly, honestly. If they don't interview you as well, then refuse to leave until they talk to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 I agree with Harriet above. Maybe worth writing it all down on paper and giving to his doctor if need be. Anne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthwestMom Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 I agree with everything Harriet has said and likely will say in the future of this thread. OP, listen to Harriet! :) I'm sorry you are going through this. Please make attendance at the appointments nonnegotiable. Do not go on the trip if he will not get help. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 Good for you! You have a cheerleading squad here and we are rooting for you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovinglife Posted March 18, 2014 Author Share Posted March 18, 2014 I'll listen to Harriet (: It was a rough day but I'm feeling much better right now. We will have appointments before our trip and he has grudgingly agreed to go with me. I'm optimistic that the trip will be a positive time (a vacation is desperately needed, even if part of it is just helping his aging mom) and we will move forward with more treatment when we get back. Making a list and determined that things can only improve. Life can be such a wild ride, can't it? Boy. Btw-it means so much to have this support, thanks again everyone! I think after feeling this support I may actually have to start posting a bit more (; he's been living with depression for so long I don't think he will know what to do if we get him feeling better- I've taken to calling him Eeyore the past year. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 Glad the appointments are in place. I will keep praying for you and your dh. I'm sorry it's been so rough. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denise in IN Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 lovinglife, I am so glad you are moving forward to get him some help. I am praying for you to be able to stay strong. May the Lord give you peace and clarity, and bring healing to your dh. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magic Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 Please stay on top of this- no matter how much he fights you. I have been through this twice with my husband and once with my father in law. My husband hated how I was on top of him about everything and always checking on him. I would not leave him alone and would get in his face about issues until he would face them. I always treated him with love and respect but I would not back down. My husband is especially grateful for the fact that I was always on him. Unfortunately, his brother's wife chose to leave my brother in law alone and tell him to do whatever when he threated to "end it all". Tragically, my 37 year old brother (in law) committed suicide this past July. He left behind two daughters who were 22 months and 4 years old at the time. As difficult as it may be to deal with depression and anxiety- it is easier than dealing with the aftermath of suicide. Hold your husband and tell him that you love him and that you are going to fight for him whether he likes it or not. I am praying for you and your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 Please stay on top of this- no matter how much he fights you. I have been through this twice with my husband and once with my father in law. My husband hated how I was on top of him about everything and always checking on him. I would not leave him alone and would get in his face about issues until he would face them. I always treated him with love and respect but I would not back down. My husband is especially grateful for the fact that I was always on him. Unfortunately, his brother's wife chose to leave my brother in law alone and tell him to do whatever when he threated to "end it all". Tragically, my 37 year old brother (in law) committed suicide this past July. He left behind two daughters who were 22 months and 4 years old at the time. As difficult as it may be to deal with depression and anxiety- it is easier than dealing with the aftermath of suicide. Hold your husband and tell him that you love him and that you are going to fight for him whether he likes it or not. I am praying for you and your family. :iagree: btdt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justkeepswimming Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 . He also asked my six year old, who he has been struggling with, "wouldn't you be happier if I just drove off a cliff and died?" He needs help ASAP and he doesn't/shouldn't get to say things like this to your 6yo - ever. Never ever ever ever. What that can do to a child? Hearing threats like that coming from their parent??!? Putting it on the CHILD ("wouldn't YOU be happier?")??? Whether he gets help or not - he has to shut up. An adult shouldn't get to screw with his child's mind in this way. sorry. extremely sensitive nerve on this topic. I wish him the best, sincerely. But, I'm worried about your kid(s). If *you* heard the comment, I can promise you it's not the first/only time it or something like it has been said in a moment of frustration. I hope he finds and accepts the help he needs. If he doesn't, please don't let your kids hear this for the rest of their growing up years (it will come and go... come and go...). Best wishes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovinglife Posted March 18, 2014 Author Share Posted March 18, 2014 Hazel, I agree. I don't want my kids to live in the emotional environment they have been living in any longer. I love him so dearly, but he absolutely needs some help to become emotionally healthy. Two of my children are already in counseling and I'm sure there will be more over the years- we really are trying to help them out- despite all of the craziness of the past few years! It's good to hear someone say that, because I know it was wrong- and other small things he has said for some time, but when you are actually in the environment, and he is explaining why it isn't wrong (or whatever) it's hard to keep it all straight IYKWIM. I'm looking forward to taking the first steps and am making a list today to bring to the appts. tomorrow of what to discuss. I'm determined to build a better family. Gardenmom and Magic, I am fighting for him and this time I am not backing down! I think if he can get some help it will help in so many arenas: our relationship, the children, work, volunteering, every aspect of his life. I know he thinks I am being mean, but he is coming to the appts. with me at least and that is a start. He told me last night that he's had thoughts like that since he was a kid, doesn't everybody? I said "NO!" Poor guy, living in a world where he really believes that everyone is out to get him. I didn't know whether to be glad it had been going on so long because he has never actually attempted anything, or be horrified- I had no idea it was that bad for him and how long can any person handle feeling like that? Thanks again for the prayers and support- I can feel them and it will get me through the difficult days/moments! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elfgivas Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 hoping today goes really well! (or as well as it can) ann Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneStepAtATime Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 Been thinking about you and your family. Hugs and best wishes...to all of you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meadowlark Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 I haven't commented on this thread yet, but have been watching it closely. Today, I feel compelled to comment because of something your husband said. He said he's had thoughts like that since he was a kid. My brother felt the same way. He committed suicide at the age of 33. His suicide note said "it's been like this since I was a kid". I'm not writing to scare you, but to encourage you to take this seriously and get him the help he needs. My brother wasn't as fortunate as your husband...he did not have a wife who cared so deeply and sought to get him the help he obviously needed. We would have moved heaven and earth to help him had we known. Thank GOD your husband is not walking this path alone, and he has reached out to you for help even if he seems angry/dismissive/resentful. I will be praying for your entire family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scrapbookbuzz Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 He definitely needs professional help if he has those thoughts. As for depression, a HUGE dietary help with that is to completely cut out sugar. And I mean completely. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 the fact he has been having these thoughts since childhood indicates a serious brain chemical imbalance. good news is, it's treatable. he's probably never ever mentioned these things to a dr before - because he thought they were "normal". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 I haven't commented on this thread yet, but have been watching it closely. Today, I feel compelled to comment because of something your husband said. He said he's had thoughts like that since he was a kid. My brother felt the same way. He committed suicide at the age of 33. His suicide note said "it's been like this since I was a kid". I'm not writing to scare you, but to encourage you to take this seriously and get him the help he needs. My brother wasn't as fortunate as your husband...he did not have a wife who cared so deeply and sought to get him the help he obviously needed. We would have moved heaven and earth to help him had we known. Thank GOD your husband is not walking this path alone, and he has reached out to you for help even if he seems angry/dismissive/resentful. I will be praying for your entire family. To be fair, mental illness is complicated, scary, and we are unprepared for it. I didn't handle my (x)husband's perfectly, and I am a trained and licensed professional in the field! I can't speak to your situation, but I can say in general that 1) people shut down, miss the mark, under or poorly respond. and 2) others often put responsibility and blame on relatives for situations they had little ability to change. A mental health tragedy is like others in this regard: people want to find reasons and explanations - they end up assigning blame and culpability. It is often erroneous. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 I don't think suicidal thoughts since a child are any indication of a mental illness or a serious chemical brain imbalance at all. I have them as most of my siblings, In fact I know that many people have them. It doesn't mean that there is something wrong with the person. it is just outside of what other people have so they do not view it as normal it is when the thoughts over come you that there is a problem Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 I don't think suicidal thoughts since a child are any indication of a mental illness or a serious chemical brain imbalance at all. I have them as most of my siblings, In fact I know that many people have them. It doesn't mean that there is something wrong with the person. it is just outside of what other people have so they do not view it as normal it is when the thoughts over come you that there is a problem Really? Suicidal thoughts are NOT normal. feeling blue, feeling less than, hopeless, situationally depressed, maybe those might be normal at different parts of life, during times of stress, but feeling suicidal since childhood is NOT normal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovinglife Posted March 18, 2014 Author Share Posted March 18, 2014 I think the sugar is a great idea! I've cut it almost entirely out of my diet, except for some fruits, tomatoes, etc. and feel so terrific! However the kids and he still have it. I'll think about that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 I don't think suicidal thoughts since a child are any indication of a mental illness or a serious chemical brain imbalance at all. I have them as most of my siblings, In fact I know that many people have them. It doesn't mean that there is something wrong with the person. it is just outside of what other people have so they do not view it as normal it is when the thoughts over come you that there is a problem Suicidal thoughts throughout life are not normal, I am sorry you and your siblings have experienced this. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OrdinaryTime Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 Cutting out excessive sugar is a health benefit to anyone, but I am wary of it as a solution to depression. Better diet, exercise, good sleep hygiene, etc. can all help with the symptoms of depression. But most often there are serious chemical imbalances in the brain, especially if the person is suicidal and had suffered at the level for much of their life. I tried to "cure" my long-term depression last year by eating clean and exercising. I lost 30 pounds and got in great shape. Still thought about killing myself quite a bit. Now that I am seeing a pychatrist weekly and taking medication for the first time in my life, I am finally able to see that how I thought about myself for most of my life is not "normal." Diet and exercise can't cure everything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OrdinaryTime Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 Also, I'll be praying for you, your husband, and family. Dealing with depression is very painful and isolating for everyone involved. (((Hugs))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 I just want to offer encouragement that you are on the right path. I hope your husband responds as well to treatment as my dh has. When he is on antidepressants and doing well I see the loving, thoughtful, compassionate person I have always known my husband to be. The other behaviors--the critical, angry, pessimistic behaviors--are symptoms of an illness, and when the illness is treated the symptoms go away. I'm not perfect, my husband isn't perfect, our life isn't perfect, medications have side effects--but with effective treatment for mental illness life can be GOOD. Our life is good, our marriage is good, I am praying things can work out the same way for your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 Really? Suicidal thoughts are NOT normal. feeling blue, feeling less than, hopeless, situationally depressed, maybe those might be normal at different parts of life, during times of stress, but feeling suicidal since childhood is NOT normal. not normal for you, but within the range of normal for lots of others. It is tricky to not narrow down the view of normal to your own range of thoughts. but normal encompasses a very wide range of things. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 not normal for you, but within the range of normal for lots of others. It is tricky to not narrow down the view of normal to your own range of thoughts. but normal encompasses a very wide range of things. My normal is irrelevant. Honestly, I'm not going to debate you on this as to not derail this thread, yet I'm not simply filtering this through my perspective. I do hope you and your siblings have sought treatment for this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ondreeuh Posted March 19, 2014 Share Posted March 19, 2014 I'm a little surprised that several people have said that depression is very treatable. In my experiences, it is NOT. Bipolar disorder, which has a STRONG association with suicide, is notoriously hard to treat. One of the big issues with Bipolar is that antidepressants make it WORSE. Stimulants like caffeine make it worse. Any kind of sleep deprivation make it worse. I have a friend who is taking a mood stabilizer and sleep med, and is barely hanging on. She would like to be able to take hormonal birth control but can't because it cancels out her mood stabilizer. Some of the available treatments cause major side effects like liver damage and insulin resistance. This is not meant to scare anyone, just to offer some realism. If someone is suicidal, it may not be as easy as getting some counseling and some antidepressants, and they should not be judged for not being easily "fixed." It can be a long, hard road to find effective treatment. Also, in my experiences, clinical office visits were an OK starting point, but when crisis hits, you go STRAIGHT to the emergency room. The ER is the point of entry for the inpatient programs I know of - basically they serve people in crisis, and the ER determines if you are in crisis. OP, I truly hope that your dh is open to treatment. Maybe the clinician he sees will help him see how abnormal things are. If you ever think he is in crisis but he won't go to the ER, call 911. Specifically state that your husband has a history of suicidal thoughts and you believe him to be a danger to himself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted March 19, 2014 Share Posted March 19, 2014 I'm a little surprised that several people have said that depression is very treatable. In my experiences, it is NOT. Bipolar disorder, which has a STRONG association with suicide, we were talking about depression, NOT bipolar. two completely different things. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ondreeuh Posted March 19, 2014 Share Posted March 19, 2014 we were talking about depression, NOT bipolar. two completely different things. No, not "completely different." Bipolar doesn't mean wild mood swings from extreme mania with extreme depression. That is only one subtype. It is actually more common to be hypo manic, which can present as irritability, difficulty sleeping, pressured speech, etc. It is also common for there to be mixed states, which are kind of like agitated depression. It can be very subtle, and the depression can be the thing that stands out the most. Actually one of the ways clinicians often diagnose bipolar disorder is by observing that antidepressants make it worse. It is impossible to say that someone has straight up clinical depression because they have suicidal thoughts. It definitely could be a type of bipolar disorder, which is highly correlated with suicidal thoughts and self harm, but is treated differently. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted March 19, 2014 Share Posted March 19, 2014 No, not "completely different." Bipolar doesn't mean wild mood swings from extreme mania with extreme depression. That is only one subtype. It is actually more common to be hypo manic, which can present as irritability, difficulty sleeping, pressured speech, etc. It is also common for there to be mixed states, which are kind of like agitated depression. It can be very subtle, and the depression can be the thing that stands out the most. Actually one of the ways clinicians often diagnose bipolar disorder is by observing that antidepressants make it worse. It is impossible to say that someone has straight up clinical depression because they have suicidal thoughts. It definitely could be a type of bipolar disorder, which is highly correlated with suicidal thoughts and self harm, but is treated differently. Yes, this is true. My DSS is bipolar 2, and he has no manic swings. He is either depressed to some degree (his "normal" - which doesn't look like what I'd call depression at all, really, though it's not a normal state either) or terribly depressed and possibly suicidal. Some of the OP's comments have made me wonder if her DH might not fall into this category, too. Depression is treatable. Bipolar is treatable, too, but in my (limited) experience it is trickier than depression. OP, I hope that your day went as well as possible, and that you'll have an update for us soon. We are all thinking of you with concern. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted March 19, 2014 Share Posted March 19, 2014 I don't think suicidal thoughts since a child are any indication of a mental illness or a serious chemical brain imbalance at all. I have them as most of my siblings, In fact I know that many people have them. It doesn't mean that there is something wrong with the person. it is just outside of what other people have so they do not view it as normal it is when the thoughts over come you that there is a problem Actually, it is the epitome of mental illness. But since there is no stigma, or assumption of moral or character failing in my use of "mental illness", I don't hesistate to use the term when it is appropriate. It is normal and healthy to have a range of feelings. It is not a normally or healthfully functioning brain that has frequent or regular or repeated thoughts of suicide. Thoughts about death, questions about death, exploration of death "themes" in childhood is normal. Thoughts of dying, intentionally taking their own life - is not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted March 19, 2014 Share Posted March 19, 2014 Ondreeuh, bipolar is such a huge diagnosis it doesn't seem appropriate to make that leap in this thread. It seems a bit like someone who tells a pregnant woman horror stories about nightmare labor or birth defects--of course those things are possible in any pregnancy, but it's not kind to scare pregnant women with stories of those outcomes. At this point, the OP's husband needs an evaluation for depression. That evaluation may indicate a need for further exploration for mental illness, or he may do well with treatment for depression. The key is to get the evaluation and to actively embrace and implement measures to try to help him, whatever those measures may be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovinglife Posted March 19, 2014 Author Share Posted March 19, 2014 I am feeling SO much better right now :001_smile: We went into the family Dr. today and a therapist as well. Dh has agreed to see the therapist weekly and I am hopeful that will be a great help to him. We also have an antidepressant that has been prescribed and although Dh is very leery of taking it, I think he will. I am hopeful for the future- and that is a good feeling. To some of the previous posters, it is possible there may be something more severe going on, but we have to start somewhere, and I'm hopeful that the therapy and medication will have a very positive impact. He still hasn't really agreed to actually take the pills, but I'm picking them up and I'll make sure he does ;) Just thought I'd update you all- I think we will be okay. Thanks for the help during the crisis moments. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SproutMamaK Posted March 19, 2014 Share Posted March 19, 2014 Thanks for the update, lovinglife! I hope he willingly takes the pills and that therapy is able to make a big difference for him. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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