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The truth about Mountain Oysters


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I am getting disillusioned about farm life. Reality doesn't match my imagination or the descriptions of it in (fiction) books.

 

First, I find out that pigs have hair and stink really bad and do not look like Porky Pig.

 

Then, I discover that farmers (and ranchers) do not wash their animals every day and those animals are not very clean and have insects hovering around them.

 

Now, I find out that mountain oysters are not a joke.

 

What's next? Go ahead. I challenge you to disillusion me some more!

 

RC

 

P.S. I do know that horses and other animals do their business wherever they happen to be standing.

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I always just borrowed one to romance my girlie goats. Is there something more about them?

 

I don't think I could be disillusioned about country living. But toilets plug up a lot, and there's lots of mud tracked into the house. My mini van looks like a barn. Lots of wild critters. Skunks. If you can't buy it at Walmart you have to go to the city. (I hate the city if I'm there more than an afternoon). Electricity and phone problems. Some folks get bored stiff and go nuts. I like it.

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Oh, I don't really know! I have just read enough threads written by people who keep goats to know that uncastrated males smell awful and that you can't even let them live in the same barn with females because the does and their milk will begin to stink like the boys.

 

And there was something I heard about their self stimulating that I won't even elaborate about......

 

So I thought that Rough Collie would get a kick out of that since she's asking for more disillusionment! :p

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Oh, I'm getting a kick out of it, okay.

 

I have always wished I lived on a farm or ranch, but I have never actually been to one. Now you know why people who have been associated with that life always laugh at my ideas. It all started with the Little House books, and from there to all the other books set out in the country.

 

One time, I made arrangements with a friend who lives in Vermont to learn to milk one of her friend's cows. I bought barn boots and some farmwear from L.L. Bean and was all set to go up there. Then I got pregnant with the boys, and being on bedrest put a stop to my plan.

 

My New Year's resolutions, for my entire life, have always included (1) get a tan, and (2) learn to milk a cow.

 

A couple of months ago, I was all set to get some chickens, as the zoning law in our town allows one to have 9 of them. DH just about croaked at the idea, then he remembered how I'm afraid of live chickens, and that idea bit the dust. I knew someone who had blue and green eggs for sale and I was so delighted with having fresh Easter eggs straight from the hen, that I forgot that fear for awhile. DH was more worried about what the neighbors would think, and about the chickens having to live in our den all winter so they wouldn't freeze.

 

RC

 

 

 

So I thought that Rough Collie would get a kick out of that since she's asking for more disillusionment! :p

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I read that about pigs too, Stacey. Then one day at Plimoth Plantation I smelled an odor worse than that of a paper mill. What could it be? I stood on a log and peered over this tall fence, and there was this dark-colored very hairy animal standing there. DH about bust a gut laughing because I didn't know it was a pig. (Back then, I thought pigs were pink and smooth-skinned.)

 

Then DH told me that his uncle had owned a pig farm and his family used to visit them when he was a child and that the place smelled awful.

 

I figure your average house-pig would have to be clean and all pigs are smart. But your average yard pig is a stinker, whether he comes by it naturally or not.

 

 

 

I've read that was a big myth and that pigs are some of the cleanest (and smartest) animals there are. People just tend to keep them in slop - not their fault!

 

The rest of what you posted is most likely true, but I had to stick up for the piggies!!

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Boy howdy. There is a lot I don't know about goats and oysters and such. I wonder why someone doesn't write a book set on a farm or ranch and give a more accurate portrayal of what life is like.

 

Does anyone know of a book like that?

 

Oh, I don't really know! I have just read enough threads written by people who keep goats to know that uncastrated males smell awful and that you can't even let them live in the same barn with females because the does and their milk will begin to stink like the boys.

 

And there was something I heard about their self stimulating that I won't even elaborate about......

 

So I thought that Rough Collie would get a kick out of that since she's asking for more disillusionment! :p

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Carla Emory's Encyclopedia of Country Living. It deals with gardens, livestock, food, building barns. And since she and her family didn't have a lot of money it's got a lot of inexpensive ideas in it. And it's funny and well written. When we were Y2Kers I referred to it over and over again.

 

It was fun for a year, and we learned a lot, but never again. Too much work.

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