Kidlit Posted February 24, 2014 Share Posted February 24, 2014 I'm struggling right now with stress over getting "everything" done. By everything, I mean schooling my school agers well, spending some time with my gregarious 3 year old (who wants nothing more than to sit in my lap and talk to me all day long), taking care of my nursing 10.5 month old crawler, making meals, and keeping up (somewhat) with laundry. Admittedly a lot of my stress is mental/emotional when I feel like I'm not doing a good job with my girls' school. Am I alone in this? How do you cope? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saraha Posted February 24, 2014 Share Posted February 24, 2014 :grouphug: I don't know, I am not coping well at the moment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kidlit Posted February 24, 2014 Author Share Posted February 24, 2014 :grouphug: I don't know, I am not coping well at the moment.At least we're not alone! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamamindy Posted February 24, 2014 Share Posted February 24, 2014 :grouphug: Oh! I was just seeking advice for the same thing! So I am listening... :bigear: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halcyon Posted February 24, 2014 Share Posted February 24, 2014 Ugh, i hear you. I am dealing with tween hormones now. I told him he couldn't shuffle cards while reading history and he threw a fit. Now he's in a separate room while I cool down. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kidlit Posted February 24, 2014 Author Share Posted February 24, 2014 (edited) Maybe we need a support group. Oh. Wait. . .that's what this is. Edited February 24, 2014 by hopeistheword Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kidlit Posted February 24, 2014 Author Share Posted February 24, 2014 Ok. I'll start. One of my biggest helps is trying to maintain the daily quiet hour. Never mind that it's not really quiet and we haven't always finished the day's lessons by then, which means it isn't all that stress free, with lessons hanging over my head. ;-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tabinfl Posted February 24, 2014 Share Posted February 24, 2014 I just wrote a blog post (link below) to a few things that have been helping lately. Sometimes I don't cope very well, though. If I hear one more "Why?" question this week, my head might explode. What? It's only Monday? Oh crap. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saraha Posted February 24, 2014 Share Posted February 24, 2014 We have the quiet time too, where everyone is to take all the work they haven't finished yet upstairs, but it isn't truly quiet because that is a good time for them to come down and get help if they need it finishing/understanding/figuring something without 5 other people running around. I feel like I am losing my tenuous grip on sanity. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kidlit Posted February 24, 2014 Author Share Posted February 24, 2014 THis year it just seems like I have very little recovery time. I don't know, it's like I hop from one thing to the next to the next. Part of it is the addition of Benny to our family; part of it is a change in dh's work schedule and responsibilities (plus that he has been in school, too, for a year or two). I'm having a very hard time having the planning time I need. How/when do you all plan? Not having the time I end for this makes me feel like I'm not doing a good job. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin'sMom Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 We can all agree that this is not easy, and that we are all just ordinary people trying to cover a lot of bases. It's just you and the child, or the children most of the time, with no one to bounce it all off of.... I felt like crying a few times today....it was just stressful in every way. Laundry and Latin were equally stressful: I had to order a new washer with money I barely have AND spend a fortune at the laundromat, plus my son really HATES Latin, so we switched to French. He sulked and balked at everything. My attitude went from happy to grimly determined, and I did not feel very successful at anything. But life is just like that....sometimes it's good and sometimes it's not....and we just have to get up tomorrow and see how it turns out. Have a cup of tea tonight, kiss everyone in your family goodnight, and be sure you get a good night's sleep. XXXOOO to all of you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommymilkies Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 Chocolate and wine. A friend to text while you're in tears hiding in the closet helps, too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walking-Iris Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 Have a cup of tea tonight, kiss everyone in your family goodnight, and be sure you get a good night's sleep. XXXOOO to all of you. True! Honestly this year has been hard. In another thread (The End Is Near) i mentioned how I'm starting to feel good about ending the year after I really sat down and figured out where we were yesterday. Honestly with this winter (I'm blaming everything on the Polar Vortex!!! It's just made me want to crawl under a quilt and wish for hibernation), and my own online classes at the beginning of the year, it's been hard to keep momentum. By the time my finals were over and it was time to think about Christmas, and then this nasty weather hit...I just honestly have felt less than great about homeschooling this year. But my ds and I have decided to drop some things for the rest of the year. We've corralled what is left and we've made some cuts and adjustments. I've also been evaluating what we have done and what they have learned on their own. I've come to accept that this may have been our worse homeschool year ever. Sounds harsh. They've done well and they've learned and I've done my very best to keep up ----but there has been too much this fall and winter that has caused stress and distraction. So I guess better to say this was the worst year *for* homeschooling in any sort of peaceful or consistent way. They've learned in spite of it. But I really really really need this spring and summer (and next year please) to be a bit more...fun...frankly! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Woodland Mist Academy Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 Warm baths, hot tea, sleep, fresh air, exercise, good food, great books, laughter, allowing a few tears when necessary, lots of hugs,.... and, of course, chocolate. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 Guys, it's still February. Things will start looking up on Saturday. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lori D. Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 Swimming laps is my all-purpose stress reliever. 45 minutes, vigorous, non-stop laps. I like switching strokes for more muscle workout, so outbound = breast stroke, and back = freestyle. Getting outside always helps ME -- taking the family for a hike, spend some time gardening or doing a little yard work, even just sitting outside with a beverage and a good book. BUT, we are blessed with a lot of good weather here. Can you schedule 2-3x/week for a babysitter or for spouse or a relative to watch the kiddos and get to the gym, go running, or even do treadmill uninterrupted at home? Watch a fun movie while treadmilling, or listen to a good audio book or music that soothes you while exercising. Plan a night a week for movie (or a TV series) and popcorn. Either for all the family, or just you & spouse after kids go to bed, or with a girlfriend. Or solo with your laptop if you like that, too! :) Reading is my personal recharger. What about scheduling 1 hour after lunch as quiet time -- everyone on their own bed doing something quiet, and you can nap or read or have peaceful recharge time to yourself? How about hiring a teen to come over 1-2x/week as a "mother's helper" in the afternoons -- you do what recharges you for 1-2 hours (photography, scrapbooking, playing an instrument, bubble bath, reading, etc.) there at the house, but KNOWING you won't be interrupted because the teen is running interference for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kathy_overman Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 Walking-Iris I could have written the same post, or a similar version. I just told my DH that this has been a really hard/bad year at home. We have a daughter with special emotional needs and we tried to homeschool her, it has only wreaked havoc on everyone. I am at wits end, feeling like a failure, and wanting to run very far away. Here is what I do to help: Read a new parenting book (This is what I read this weekend.) Read encouraging blogs Journal Try to pick one task to do, and get it done Really try to live in the moment Curriculum surf Make my life easier where I can (i.e., not feeling guilty about using paper plates) Most importantly --- read posts like this one, and know I am not alone Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kidlit Posted February 25, 2014 Author Share Posted February 25, 2014 You know, it just makes me feel better knowing someone REALLY understands. But yes, exercise would help, too. We have a Y membership, but I find getting there next to impossible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hunter Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 When I get overwhelmed, whatever the area in my life, I have to pull back and triage. I have to figure out MY priorities and drop all the "shoulds". I need to live in the moment more and stop trying to make the future better at the expense of living well today. I need to set better boundaries with people and take better care of myself. I need to stay home more. Few of you started homeschooling in the 80s and 90s, but since I did, I can pull back and compare today with back then. I remember how much easier it was back then, and remember that I can go back to old methods and they are good enough. Twice the time on task and ten times as much money is being spent. Instructors are more stressed than ever. I don't see the students learning more, though. I doesn't have to be like this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FriedClams Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 Some stuff that helps me... Menu plan. Shopping once and forgetting about it is the bomb. I plan 3 meals a day for the week. We don't always follow the plan - but it's so less stressful. Train your kids to help. Your 8 and 9 year old can gather and start or swap laundry, empty the dishwasher every morning, put up laundry, vacuum, take out the trash, etc. A timer and loud music are great helps. Quiet time. Life saver. Weekly lesson plans. We get more done and there is a DONE time. Pick curriculum wisely. If its teacher intensive - make sure it covers a few age groups. Minimize redundancy. One math. One LA. Etc. Audiobooks. Booya. Hang in there. I don't have little ones and life is still busy and overwhelming. Don't be afraid to get a sitter, or quit school at 12 on Friday to have a clean and straighten afternoon. You don't have to do it all. You can't. Enjoy your kids and the process. Don't beat yourself up!! :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kidlit Posted February 25, 2014 Author Share Posted February 25, 2014 FriedClams, tell me about a WEEKLY lesson plan. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FriedClams Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 Hopeistheword - here's a link to my blog with a pic of one of our weekly schedules. http://friedclamsandsweettea.wordpress.com/2014/02/14/weekly-report-14-february-2014/ I started this when the kids were little. I make out a grid with everything I want to get done. Math, la, etc. We highlight as we go. It used to keep me on track, and now the kids manage their own lists. I will not add to it - but I can reduce -'so it's super motivating for the kids to get through their lists. Our list is now a combo of the Sonlight schedule and the stuff I print from my Homeschool Tracker schedule. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coco_Clark Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 The stuff I NEED to stay sane : Daily quiet time. This actually never happens, because my 1 yr old doesnt reliably nap. But when it does happen it helps sooo much. And even when it can't happen I try to do something quiet with just the baby to deal with. 1 evening a week out of the house. I go to a coffee shop and knit most if the time. Sometimes with friends, sometimes alone. The stuff I do to "get it all done": stick to a schedule and keep lists. Sometimes crossing stuff off helps me realize how much I really am getting done. A schedule helps me keep priorities in check. School 4-6 weeks then take a week off. On our "off" weeks I catch up on cleaning, catch up on planning, try to focus on a child that's been feeling ignored, try to restore and rest myself, or any number of things. This is actually a week off for us and we have committed t o watching a movie every day because we are ALL feeling burnt out. I know next week we will get back to the grindstone with more energy for the break. Can't wait to hear more thoughts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommymilkies Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 Getting outside is a big one for me. But with our weather this year, that's somehow more elusive than those "alone time at a book store" or "win a year of free weekly house cleanings" rumors I hear so much about. Which is to say my coping skills are around zero right now, and I'm just kind of hoping they'll invent a SuperMomRX pill before I run away and join the circus. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perogi Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 The stuff I NEED to stay sane : Daily quiet time. This actually never happens, because my 1 yr old doesnt reliably nap. But when it does happen it helps sooo much. And even when it can't happen I try to do something quiet with just the baby to deal with. 1 evening a week out of the house. I go to a coffee shop and knit most if the time. Sometimes with friends, sometimes alone. The stuff I do to "get it all done": stick to a schedule and keep lists. Sometimes crossing stuff off helps me realize how much I really am getting done. A schedule helps me keep priorities in check. School 4-6 weeks then take a week off. On our "off" weeks I catch up on cleaning, catch up on planning, try to focus on a child that's been feeling ignored, try to restore and rest myself, or any number of things. This is actually a week off for us and we have committed t o watching a movie every day because we are ALL feeling burnt out. I know next week we will get back to the grindstone with more energy for the break. Can't wait to hear more thoughts. Does this mean you school year round? I like the idea. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LucyStoner Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 Exercise. For me. For them. Physical activity is key around here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marie131 Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 I so hear you, sister! I am in the same boat. Life is crazy and I can't stay afloat much longer. ETA: My coping mechanisms are shopping and wine. Not very healthy, I know. I have unmedicated PPD. I need to go back to my doctor cuz I'm really not doing great. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4littlewomen Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 There are so many wonderful ideas here. For me, it really is my perspective that makes all the difference. If I am focused on the goal of staying connected to my kids and enjoying them, I feel pretty good about whatever we accomplish. I try to keep a steady pace throughout the day with some focused time learning together/ teaching them and then give them some free time to play. While they play, I do a bit of cleaning, food prep, read a book, play with the baby or play with them, depending on what I feel we all need. When I start to have really rigid expectations of exactly how things will go, I start to get stressed and more easily irritated which is not good for any of us. I have been reading "Hold On to Your Kids" and it has reminded me that the most important thing for my kids is that we have a healthy and strong attachment. If I can be successful at that and provide a rich family culture, they will thrive in their development which is what we all want, right? Basically, I do what I can each day to accomplish what we can in all areas (academically, physically, spiritually, etc) while focusing on responding with love and then I try to let go of what I didn't do. We have a pretty good routine but I adjust things as needed so I can meet both their needs and my own. Some days, like today, one child just needs more attention than usual so I worked that in. I feel so much more peace at the end of the day when I feel like I connected well with my children. It doesn't always go perfectly, of course but having that as my overall goal relieves me of a lot of stress. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LLMom Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 It really helps me to cook in advanced for those crazy days. So, if I am making tacos for example, I will make a double batch for the next week. Also, paper goods have become a staple in my household. I use them a lot during sports seasons. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kidlit Posted February 25, 2014 Author Share Posted February 25, 2014 Thank you for all the responses! Again, it helps so much to know others are in the same boat, and I'm recommitted to finding quiet, kid-free time during my days. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TXMary2 Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 I find the afternoon hour of quiet time suggested by SWB works wonders. I know you have a couple really little people you can't do that with, but the other kids could, which might relieve you somewhat with less people demanding your time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saraha Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 Edited: I wasn't really adding to the thread with this. Thanks for the advice, I don't want to highjack her thread. One thing I am hoping will help is a mini vacation to meet up with friends who live in Wisconsin in a local with a little warmer weather. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FriedClams Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 I think in threads like this we need to differentiate d - little d - depressed (a season due to being overwhelmed, seasonal due to weather, etc) and D - Big D - Depression that needs medical assistance. Neither is better - they just are. I think d can be helped by the stuff we mentioned here - systems to help us manage, routines, etc. D needs to be managed by a doctor. Please, consider which one it is and what help you need. Help isn't defeat. It isn't weakness. Please treat yourself kindly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bree Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 Quiet time, coffee and a nice bubble bath before bed :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Critterfixer Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 It hasn't been my best month for stress either. I'm getting everything done, but without much enthusiasm. Just two weeks until I call a break, though. And I plan to send my children to the planet of the grandmothers for some of that break, because Mommy needs some time off, too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walking-Iris Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 Music! I realize I didn't share any special tips for when I'm stressed. For me it's music. Sometimes I can think about the various things i need to get done and feel overwhelmed by it, but then just start blaring those Black Keys (or a shuffle of the playlist)!!! and voila! dishwasher loaded, papers sorted, floors mopped, laundry sorted, maybe even depending on the weather a full house cleaning. Another reason I look forward to spring is because I have religiously for years taken a week off at easter for a full on house cleaning! I start in one room and work my tail off until there isn't a crevice I haven't touched. All week. It's work, but it feels so good. I also agree with a quiet time. And yoga and deep breathing. I've been reconnecting with some Buddhist tendencies I've always had just underneath the surface of things, and it helps. A spiritual connection/practice/time for quiet thinking about spirituality has always been needed in my life. I get really grumpy without it. And food. I don't know about others, but I have a tendency to get into a routine of feeding others and then forget to feed myself. Don't forget to feed yourself!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peaceful Isle Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 Wellbutrin :p for me, at least. Just being honest. It has helped so much. I suffer from a few different conditions, and started taking this, because a friend of mine said it helped with her pain. It helps with my pain, depression, lack of energy and so much more. I have suffered from depression since my late teen tears. My father actually used to make fun of me for it, and tell me to get over it, but never offered any help. It has taken over 20 years for me to admit that I actually have it, and second, to acknowledge I am not a lesser person because of it. I had "spiritual" people all around me in life that used to mock others who needed meds, and say they were not right with God. There was no way I was going to admit what, in my gut, I knew. Those who suffer, be kind to yourself. Don't listen to naysayers. Surround yourself with those who love you for you, be it family or those that are closer than family. Distance yourself from toxic people. It helps. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coco_Clark Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 Does this mean you school year round? I like the idea. Yes we go year round, keeping to skill subjects in the summer. I plan 11 weeks of work each season, with a break where convenient in the middle and then a break at the end. So I only get 33 weeks of science, history, ect. But 44 of math ect. And 8 weeks off :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted February 26, 2014 Share Posted February 26, 2014 Wine. Someone HAS answered, wine, right? Truthfully? I school year round. I also make time to read for myself and knit. I don't have a schedule, I have a routine. We start school at 8 am, and we read quietly for an hour while we drink coffee. My kids are older now, though (yes, even the 10 yo drinks coffee). That's a very nice time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamamindy Posted February 26, 2014 Share Posted February 26, 2014 I'm drinking some wine (with my dark chocolate) right now. Thanks for the help, ladies. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
linders Posted February 26, 2014 Share Posted February 26, 2014 Wine. I have a particularly nice Chianti in hand right now. In my defense, I never start until the kids are in bed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FriedClams Posted February 26, 2014 Share Posted February 26, 2014 Edited: I wasn't really adding to the thread with this. Thanks for the advice, I don't want to highjack her thread. One thing I am hoping will help is a mini vacation to meet up with friends who live in Wisconsin in a local with a little warmer weather. You did not hijack in the least!!! My friends and I were talking about this the other day. I have friends who deal with real D - Depression. Telling them to menu plan and take a nap isn't helpful. It's offensive. I don't want anyone who struggles to do so thinking they're not doing enough, KWIM? I hope your vacation is refreshing and a blast. I hope looking forward to it is fun too (I love the countdown :-) ). Seriously - you didn't hijack. We're here if you need some encouragement. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stripe Posted February 26, 2014 Share Posted February 26, 2014 I enrolled my kids in a homeschool gym class! It was totally awesome. I almost cried at the thought that I hadn't signed my kids up earlier, and I felt like singing and dancing as we left the gym. I will never have another winter like this one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LLMom Posted February 26, 2014 Share Posted February 26, 2014 Something I/we do for stress in general (but started off as just a fun homeschool idea) is art journaling. Has anyone tried this? It is so fun and such a stress relief for me, and I am not an artist. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kidlit Posted February 26, 2014 Author Share Posted February 26, 2014 Something I/we do for stress in general (but started off as just a fun homeschool idea) is art journaling. Has anyone tried this? It is so fun and such a stress relief for me, and I am not an artist.LLMom, you don't know how amazed and surprised I an that you mentioned this! I started art journaling this past summer (using scripture), and I LOVED it. I meant to make time for it this year, but alas, I haven't. I think it might be just the thing to add into our Fun Friday routine! ETA: here's a link to my scripture art journaling, in case anyone is interested: http://www.hopeisthewordblog.com/category/bloggy-randomness/art-journaling/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LLMom Posted February 26, 2014 Share Posted February 26, 2014 LLMom, you don't know how amazed and surprised I an that you mentioned this! I started art journaling this past summer (using scripture), and I LOVED it. I meant to make time for it this year, but alas, I haven't. I think it might be just the thing to add into our Fun Friday routine! Using scripture sounds wonderful! How do you do that? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kidlit Posted February 26, 2014 Author Share Posted February 26, 2014 Using scripture sounds wonderful! How do you do that? I just take a verse I love or want to meditate on and play with it artistically. Check out my blog link above. I link to some resources I've used in one of those posts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LLMom Posted February 26, 2014 Share Posted February 26, 2014 Thanks Amy. Check out the post I started about art journaling. I didn't want it to get lost in this thread. Come share your ideas. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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