3.5 and really having difficulty learning letters and numbers

[MistyMountain]

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[sunnyday]

My son mixed up his teen numbers and barely tried to count above 20 by the time he entered kindergarten at nearly 6 (he also didn't recite the alphabet in order and was barely reading CVC despite having done phonics lessons intermittently starting at 4.5). Yet at a little over 7 he has a clear talent for mathematics and is far and away the strongest reader in his first grade class. If this is one of your children for whom you've expressed concern about LDs, then get those checked out of course, but your DD isn't actually even 3.5 yet if your signature is accurate. I am a wait-and-see kind of mom, so take that for what it's worth, but I'd be patient and enjoy her babyhood. There is SO MUCH that a 3yo needs to learn about the world that academics are a tiny tiny insignificant drop in the bucket (IMO)! Does she know what finger paint feels like when it smears, or what mom will do if you chop your bangs off with kiddy scissors? Much more important! :D

[Rosie_0801]

At 3.5 it's more likely to be a lack of interest than anything else, unless you have other concerns. It's quite normal for kids that age to big, fat, not care! :)

[kubiac]

Another one to try is Signing Time: ABC Signs; the physical and musical elements might be a helpful additional dimension. 

 

If you're past letters and working on sounds, a Hive rec that I enjoyed a lot was Abadaba Alphabet. It came with a CD.

 

If you're doing letter recognition, try Curious George Learns the Alphabet. Rey's illustrations are like mnemonic devices that might connect an idea more strongly to the letter shape. (C is a crab, Y is a yak's horns, etc)

 

Can she recite numbers past three (as opposed to counting with correspondence)?

[MistyMountain]

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[SKL]

Have you tried songs for the counting?  Many kids learn much more easily to music.

 

As for the symbol recognition, have you had her vision checked to see if the eyes focus, converge, team well etc.?  My daughter Miss A was similar - daily exposure to letters including tracing, but recall was very limited.  I knew it was more than just disinterest.  I also saw other indications of vision issues, e.g., she would run the other way if she saw me taking out a book to read; never looked at the pictures, and couldn't stand to watch videos either. 

 

Vision therapy helped Miss A a lot.  At the same time, I looked for ways to make her relate physically to the letter shapes.  Wiki stix ABC/123 cards were great.  I found an old ABC book where the letters were formed by one or more kids standing/lying in different positions, and we'd see if we could reproduce this.  Can't remember what else, but the idea was that she was a physical kid and that was the way to get through to her until her vision became efficient.

 

Miss A started vision therapy a little before 4yo; at that point she knew about 2/3 of her capital letters and a couple of numerals, and she could only write one or two letters.  6 months later she knew most all of the letters, could copy letters using vision skills, write her name, even tie her shoes.

 

Of course it could be disinterest as others have said.  But I would rule out the vision issues before this starts to matter in school etc.

[pollo_la]

My first was a sponge, and had a natural ability to pick up anything "schoolish." She mastered all of her letters and numbers by the time she turned 3. Then along came my second daughter. This child was/is quite different from her big sister! But, she does learn, it's just VERY different from my first.

 

You will need to focus on mastery with your child. So, you teach her one letter at a time (and better yet, just focus on the "sound" not the name. Once she is reading, then she can pick up the names). So, pick a letter and do a variety of things to focus on learning that letter. The more hands on the better. When you are quite certain she has that one letter (sound) down, then you introduce another, BUT continue to review the first letter frequently. Keep doing this process. Slowly adding in one letter at a time and continuing to review all previously learned letters. If at any point your daughter has trouble remembering something that was previously learned, SLOW DOWN, and master everything up to that point. Only proceed when you are certain she knows everything you have previously covered. Back up if you need to. Don't be afraid to take it slow. Mastery of each step is crucial. For some kids, learning "schoolish" things just takes more work, and you can help them along and make the journey a lot less hard by ensuring you use the principle of mastery. :-)

[Chris in VA]

There are what I call "meta skills" you can work on before doing letter/sound and number/quantity recognition that are necessary for learning the 3Rs. These skiills, such as sorting by difference, part-whole relationships, concepts of print, sequencing and one to one correspondence, set the stage for the academic learning. So, I would take a break from trying to do letters and numbers in a direct way, and work mostly on these bigger picture things.

 

Sorting--helps kids see the differences between items, which helps in identifying letters and number. Helps develop thinking skills also. 

Sort items such as colored bingo chips, plastic animals, blocks, coins, erasers, etc. Dollar Store is your friend! You can sort by color or size at first, and branch out to things like number of a certain attribute of the object (like sorting dominos by how many dots they have, or animals by how many feet), or use (we use these in the morning, we use these at night) or characteristic (we sorted animals in my preschool class by whether or not they laid eggs--"oviparous or nonoviparous").

 

Part-Whole Relationships: So much is part-whole! Is basic to math, science, reading, etc. Puzzles are excellent. Make a "bag of halves" by cutting some household objects in half and matching halves--kitchen sponge, Dixie cup, cork, napkin, tissue box, tp tube, juice box, plastic container, plastic lid, etc. Seems so easy, but that's ok. Collect lids and containers and match. Give her an outline of her name and a baggie of just the letters in it and have her match them. I start nearly everything with a child's name for letter recognition. It's meaningful print.

 

Concepts of Print: Crucial before one is ready to read a book. These are great to reinforce just by reading to your child. Make sure she understands that we read the print and not the picture, that books open/start a certain way, etc. There's stuff on the net about these--it's amazing how some kids don't know what we think they do. Some just pick it up and it doesn't need to be taught, but then some don't.

 

Sequencing: Another skill in math and in reading (all these are really basic!)--You can buy little cards to help and make a game for her, but also just talking about how you do things. "I'm ready to make lunch--wanna help? I'm making sandwiches--first I need a knife. Then what do I need--oh, PB, you are right! Then I need the bread! Ok so what do I do first?" etc Sequencing in counting, months of the year, days of the week--

 

One-to-One Correspondence: Needed for math, esp--you just are counting by rote until you get this concept. Set the table for great practice--one cup for every plate, one napkin for every person, etc. Setting out toy animals and giving all of them one item is fun--I have a set of plastic dogs and my preschool kids used tongs to give each a dog biscuit.

 

There's so much you can do at 3.5 to get kids ready to learn letters and numbers. It's play-based, but play with a purpose. Don't forget to add lots of art fun, read alouds, outdoor play, etc. Count everything. Sing. Cook. Talk. You know that. Don't worry if she's not getting the letters yet--a little time will help immensely. If it doesn't then, you will know to research further.

 

[regentrude]

She may simply not be interested in letters at her age. And that may be of no consequence at all. She has plenty of other things to learn.

My highly gifted DD did not know her ABCs when she entered K at age 5, was the first in her class to read, and excelled academically (as in college courses at age 13)

I would advise to back off the letters and try again in a year or so. I come form a culture where formal academics do not begin until age 6 or 7. A comparison with US peers does not show the push for early academics to translate into any measurable advantage at age 10 or so.

[boscopup]

It is hard when your older child learns things before the next one. It often makes you worry! I understand! :D

 

Not recognizing letters/numbers at age 3 is *normal* and nothing to worry about. Really. It does not mean anything to her long term success in life.

 

My oldest was reading letters/numbers at age 2. My second child didn't start reading letters until age 4. He also couldn't count to 10 at age 3. He needed the R&S ABC series book "Counting With Numbers" to teach him counting. The "Adventures with Books" one taught him his colors (yes, at age 3.5, he couldn't tell me if I was wearing a yellow shirt or if a fire truck was red). This child is now 7, and his reading is starting to hit its stride. He's not ahead AT ALL in reading. Probably a tiny bit behind. But I just remind him that his Grandpa didn't read until 8, and look how well he reads now. :D (Grandpa led a successful life as an engineer, mild dyslexia and all) Now back to the counting... Remember this child couldn't count to 10 at age 3.5? My oldest had been starting to add numbers within 5 at that age. Well, now math is taking off big time. He just finished Beast Academy 3A today. Though if he were finishing CLE Math 100 right now, that would be fine with me too. ;)

 

Really, letters/numbers at age 3 does not matter. It won't make her smarter. It won't make her more successful in life. No one is going to ask on her college application or a job application what age she learned her letter sounds or how to count. :D She sounds perfectly normal at this point. If she's still having trouble at age 5, then I'd maybe start to be concerned. A LOT will change between now and then! Oh, and my 7 year old is a November baby, so he's on the older side of his grade level - he's first grade this year. That has been wonderful! Embrace it! Enjoy the extra time your child has (assuming you're not in one of the states with a late cutoff date). Your child will be the same grade level as many current 2 year olds, so she has a good long while to learn letters and numbers!

[MistyMountain]

Thanks everyone. My son learned his letters and blending simple words very early but 2 years later and he still isn't reading so learning them really early didn't really matter much. I think I may wait and then try the letter of the week approach when she is 4. My oldest didn't do good with this approach and needed the video approach. My youngest is different than her so maybe they just need different methods. She is a little chatter bug and makes friends easily and she is the least emotional of my kids. She likes being read to and has her own interests and just developed an imaginary friend. She is just 3. Maybe it will be a struggle later for her to learn or it could be that she just doesn't care about letters and numbers when she a little older she will get it with no problems. I might get a vision exam for my middle child because he has some fine motor and other issues going on but I will wait for her until she is older.

[Coco_Clark]

Waiting sounds like a great idea. My 4 year olds just beginning to learn his letter sounds now, because he asked. My older didnt learn until he was 5. He's reading at an age-appropriate level now.

[boscopup]

Thanks everyone. My son learned his letters and blending simple words very early but 2 years later and he still isn't reading so learning them really early didn't really matter much.

 

Yeah, my oldest couldn't blend until 2.5 years after he learned his letter sounds. My middle son, the later reader, could blend before he knew all his letter sounds, but he couldn't remember the word he just sounded out on the same line until this year (age 7). So knowing letters, blending, and actual reading can really vary in the timeline! My youngest learned letter sounds a little later than my oldest, but long before my middle. Youngest could blend at a young age 3. He ended up really taking off with reading at the exact same age (4.5) as my oldest. So blending at 3 vs. 4.5 (oldest took off once he could suddenly blend) didn't even make a difference with these kids. And by taking off, I mean they could read first to second grade level books they'd never seen before, and were starting to read things like jokes on cups or placemats at restaurants... as opposed to the CVC word stage where they can read the early Bob books. Middle son was in that CVC word stage for 3 years! Oh, that killed me! I'm so happy he's moving on now and starting to really be able to read. :D In another couple years, I probably won't be able to tell that he was still working hard at reading in first grade.

[kristi26]

I haven't read the other responses beyond the first post, but here' s my thoughts.  First, yes, she is really young.  Second, she sounds like my DD.  DD was exposed to letters, numbers, counting, etc through all sorts of different mediums- tv shows, puzzles, coloring pages, etc.  She didn't retain anything at all until she was 4.5, approaching 5 and then suddenly, she just got it.  She is still like that.  It takes her more time to "get" things, but once she does, she's great with it.  Give your DC some time to catch up.  I'm sure she'll get it with time!

[HS Mom in NC]

My oldest went from knowing nothing to reading aloud like an adult any adult book randomly selected off the shelf in a year-from the time she was 4 to 5. That's not normal. 

 

My Middle daughter didn't start learning to read until she was almost 8.  She could read and adult book like an adult by 11. That's within the range of normal.

 

My youngest started learning to read around age 6. She's 8 and can't read an adult book like an adult yet, but she'll get there when she gets there.  That's within the range of normal.

 

They're all different.  Relax. It's not weird when your child can't read at 3.  It's weird when your child can read at 3.

 

Reading is more efficient if you teach them the letter sounds rather than the letter names first, by the way.

[mommymilkies]

Kids are sooooo different.  If I compared my other kids to my first, they would all hate me because she's an overachieving gifted kid.  Which is to say-she's 3.5.  That's years too early to worry about this.  Take a deep breath and read to her.

[Rachel]

I'll add to the chorus to give her time,  at 3.5 I wouldn't be worried about not knowing letters or being able to count yet. Chances are your daughter has strengths in other areas.  My oldest and middle are night and day.  It's hard not to compare children to their siblings but they all do things at their own pace.  

[dbmamaz]

just another saying there is great variety.  

 

My first child was writing the alphabet before she was 4.  

 

My second knew more pokemon by name than he did letters of the alphabet when he was almost 5.

 

They both were reading about the same level by 1st grade.

 

My youngest learned letter names fairly early but read the latest - like 2nd grade or 3rd depending on what you call reading.

[Walking-Iris]

My oldest was reading by 3 but it took him longer to form letters. My 6 year old could form them no problem when he was little but he is still slowly learning to read. My dd knows her letters and sounds but I can tell it will be some time before writing. 

 

Some things I like for the letters are the hwot wooden letters, and Montessori movable alphabets. Lots of reading aloud Abc style books. I also got her the sing spell read write activity pages for preschool. No writing is necessary. I simply hole punched the sheets and put them in a binder. She goes through them in any order she likes, when she likes, sitting beside me as we talk about the concept on the page. No pressure .

 

For numbers I read aloud math picture counting books, and I let her play along with the crods and other math manipulatives. And play lots of counting fingerplay rhymes.

 

I wouldn't worry necessarily, but I also wouldn't second guess your mommy instinct if you really feel something was up.