What can I do now to help prepare my son for a scholarship weekend?

[MorningGlory]

Hello everyone,

My son is just a sophomore, but I'm already concerned about the prospect of these "scholarship weekends"...similar to the ones that Hoggirl's or 8's or Jenny's sons, etc. have been invited to. My son has shown genuine interest in 3 or 4 schools, and at least one of these schools has scholarship weekends in the late winter or early spring of the senior year...weekends with panel interviews and group discussions and the like.

 

This son already has stellar test scores and will have a varied, interesting transcript (hopefully). The problem is that he is VERY reserved. He will be the LAST person on a panel to make a comment or add to discussion. He is not shy. He is just a man of few words. I am confident that his comments would be intelligent and even witty IF he would make them...he is a very funny and insightful guy. He is also so nice and kind and gentle...he would never interrupt or be pushy in conversation.

 

It never occurred to me that this could be a problem until recently. We have a dear friend at church whose son is very similar to my son (with similar credentials). This young man went to one of these scholarship weekends to compete for the extra-large packages. He was told by the committee at the end of the weekend that he was too introverted!!! Oh, my! They wanted more out-going students in these large scholarship positions...apparently for future representation.

 

My husband is not happy about the prospect of putting our son through one of these weekends. He would prefer that ds choose the local state U with an automatic full-ride based solely on test scores (national merit). But I think that is so limiting to this son. I would like to see him at least try for something else. Maybe I shouldn't...

 

So to make a long story short...is there anything I can do now to help prepare this son for one of these weekends? Any ideas?

Thanks! Jetta

[Hoggirl]

Not all places have competitive scholarship weekends. And those that do aren't necessarily for ALL the merit money that is available. As an example, my alma mater of Hendrix College offers up to $25,000 in merit-based aid outside of the Hays Scholarship (which is a BIG package) which does require an inteview. At some places, WashU as an example, all merit-based scholarships involve a scholarship weekend because there are so few (ds was not invited there). So, it isn't necessarily an all or nothing proposition.

 

However, I would say that you start finding opportunities for your ds to practice his interviewing skills. My ds plays the piano, and when he started gigging for Christmas parties four years ago, his first gig was going to be with a friend of ours who also happens to have worked in HR for many years. Even though he knew ds and didn't feel the need to interview him, I asked him to anyway. I'll never forget one thing he told me that ds had said! He had asked ds to play a piece or two (although he had heard him play many times before), and brought up the fact that they would probably get the piano tuned prior to their party and asked James what he thought about the tuning in general. He said ds hesitated and then said, "Well, I've heard worse." Ha ha! A pretty diplomatic answer, I think. Anyway, if you have a friend who works in HR maybe they could work with your ds. Or if you know someone who conducts alumni interviews somewhere your ds is NOT applying that could help you out. There will often be threads during interview season within the different college forums about the types of questions to expect.

 

I do think panel interviews are a bit different and can be more daunting. The one piece of advice I have is to start answering the question looking at the person who asked it. As you continue, make sure you make eye contact with everyone on the panel at some point during your answer, and then finish up looking at the question asker. Just practice!

 

Doing a pretend interview and filming it could be helpful to. You can look for nervous habits such as leg shaking, change jingling, and "umming" during answers.

 

I think kids often struggle tooting their own horns. We try to beat humility into them, but then in this situation they need to be a bit more bold in touting their qualities. Certainly one doesn't want to come across as braggish or obnoxious, but there are ways to speak of accomplishments in a way that isn't.

 

As far as your husband not wanting to put your son through a weekend like that....my $0.02 is that he will encounter job interviews during his life He is going to have to learn to do it. Alumni interviews, in particular, are usually pretty "soft," and they are one on one. My ds has not really done a panel interview for college yet, though he did have one for his Eagle rank for Scouting.

 

You have plenty of time to get some practice in. You aren't trying to change who he is! He still needs to be himself - maybe just a bit more assertive! ;)

[Teachin'Mine]

Are any of his classes taken in a live group situation?   I think this can be really helpful as the student learns how to participate in discussions, ask questions, etc..  I would recommend community college courses, particularly seminar types, but there are lots of other classes which would work too.

[Kareni]

A public speaking class might also be helpful.

 

Regards,

Kareni

[Brigid in NC]

However, I would say that you start finding opportunities for your ds to practice his interviewing skills. My ds plays the piano, and when he started gigging for Christmas parties four years ago, his first gig was going to be with a friend of ours who also happens to have worked in HR for many years. Even though he knew ds and didn't feel the need to interview him, I asked him to anyway. I'll never forget one thing he told me that ds had said! He had asked ds to play a piece or two (although he had heard him play many times before), and brought up the fact that they would probably get the piano tuned prior to their party and asked James what he thought about the tuning in general. He said ds hesitated and then said, "Well, I've heard worse." Ha ha! A pretty diplomatic answer, I think. Anyway, if you have a friend who works in HR maybe they could work with your ds. Or if you know someone who conducts alumni interviews somewhere your ds is NOT applying that could help you out. There will often be threads during interview season within the different college forums about the types of questions to expect.

 

I do think panel interviews are a bit different and can be more daunting. The one piece of advice I have is to start answering the question looking at the person who asked it. As you continue, make sure you make eye contact with everyone on the panel at some point during your answer, and then finish up looking at the question asker. Just practice!

 

Doing a pretend interview and filming it could be helpful to. You can look for nervous habits such as leg shaking, change jingling, and "umming" during answers.

 

I think kids often struggle tooting their own horns. We try to beat humility into them, but then in this situation they need to be a bit more bold in touting their qualities. Certainly one doesn't want to come across as braggish or obnoxious, but there are ways to speak of accomplishments in a way that isn't.

:iagree:   I have had two who have gone through scholarship interviews and my one piece of advice: practice.  (Maybe not this soon--but when the time draws near.)

 

Have your son practice first with you--and then with a couple of friends/colleagues.  It was surprising to us how our first son (extroverted) stumbled and bumbled his way through simple questions like: why did you homeschool?  He was often stumped on basic/expected/typical questions.  And in other cases I had to restrain myself from blurting out: "you just can't say that!"  :w00t:  So create a list of questions and in a comfortable setting have him respond to typical interview-ish questions.

 

Then I would suggest that he do the same thing with a couple of other adults who will give him sincere feedback--from the simple: you need to make eye contact--and you need to not fidget, to "your response was hard to understand" or "I interpreted your answer to be a bit arrogant, even though you didn't mean it that way . . ."

 

Practice helped my two a lot!  You cannot make a reserved person someone he's not--and scholarship interviewers are not looking just for extroverts.  But you can help a reserved student be more at ease--and then his wit and wisdom will have more of a chance to shine through.  Very best of luck to you and your son!!

~Brigid

p.s. The director of a full-ride scholarship program corrected my son when he effusively told her that he enjoyed talking with the students he got to know at a scholarship weekend "because everyone was so outgoing!"  She cautioned him that that really wasn't the case--and that they were not just looking for outgoing students.  She really did say that!  My observation: They are looking for smart, interesting, engaged students who want to 1) make a difference and 2) give back.  Good luck! ;)

[Teachin'Mine]

:iagree:   I have had two who have gone through scholarship interviews and my one piece of advice: practice.  (Maybe not this soon--but when the time draws near.)

 

Have your son practice first with you--and then with a couple of friends/colleagues.  It was surprising to us how our first son (extroverted) stumbled and bumbled his way through simple questions like: why did you homeschool?  He was often stumped on basic/expected/typical questions.  And in other cases I had to restrain myself from blurting out: "you just can't say that!"  :w00t:  So create a list of questions and in a comfortable setting have him respond to typical interview-ish questions.

 

Then I would suggest that he do the same thing with a couple of other adults who will give him sincere feedback--from the simple: you need to make eye contact--and you need to not fidget, to "your response was hard to understand" or "I interpreted your answer to be a bit arrogant, even though you didn't mean it that way . . ."

 

Practice helped my two a lot!  You cannot make a reserved person someone he's not--and scholarship interviewers are not looking just for extroverts.  But you can help a reserved student be more at ease--and then his wit and wisdom will have more of a chance to shine through.  Very best of luck to you and your son!!

~Brigid

p.s. The director of a full-ride scholarship program corrected my son when he effusively told her that he enjoyed talking with the students he got to know at a scholarship weekend "because everyone was so outgoing!"  She cautioned him that that really wasn't the case--and that they were not just looking for outgoing students.  She really did say that!  My observation: They are looking for smart, interesting, engaged students who want to 1) make a difference and 2) give back.  Good luck! ;)

 

:smilielol5:   Btdt!

 

[MorningGlory]

Thank you all so much for your wonderful ideas and encouragement. We will definitely have this son practice as the time draws closer. He is heavily involved in a Bible Drill program that requires "public speaking" so we are covering that base. I also believe that he will do very well in interview situations when he is the only interviewee. It is when other students are involved that I foresee an issue. The particular school that I am concerned about has the scholarship invitees read a book prior to the weekend and then discuss it in small groups as the panel observes. I guess I could arrange for ds to practice doing that, too.

 

 

if you have a friend who works in HR maybe they could work with your ds.

Excellent idea! I will look into this.

 

 

The director of a full-ride scholarship program corrected my son when he effusively told her that he enjoyed talking with the students he got to know at a scholarship weekend "because everyone was so outgoing!"  She cautioned him that that really wasn't the case--and that they were not just looking for outgoing students.  She really did say that!  My observation: They are looking for smart, interesting, engaged students who want to 1) make a difference and 2) give back.

This is so encouraging! Thank you for sharing...I am going to show this to my dear husband.

 

Thanks again everyone. You have certainly given me hope! :-)

[8filltheheart]

I have been reading about the past experiences of kids interviewing for the program ds is interviewing for. Some of the comments are far more about being engaged and polite, than just interviewing skills. They talk about kids texting, boys hitting on the girls trying to get phone numbers, talking about the other schools they applied to,not acting interested in the weekend, etc.

 

Everyone has said that they want students that are excited about the opportunity, are polite and respectful to each other, and will represent the university well if they need to present their projects, etc.

[MorningGlory]

Bumping this two year old post of mine.

 

The time has come. My older ds will be attending a highly-competitive scholarship competition at his top-choice school this weekend. I feel that we have prepared him the best that we know how, but I am still quite nervous about it...as is he. In the end my husband thought the experience would stretch our son and be a good experience for him in the long run regardless of the outcome. I agree, but I look forward to it all being over!! DS has three interview sessions: a personal interview with a scholarship committee, a small group discussion of a particular work of literature, and a small group discussion of current events or "hot topics". The weekend also includes a formal dinner, social time Friday night, and spending the night on campus with a student host. 

 

For those who will face something like this in the future, I feel that the best thing we did to help prepare our son for this was to put him in an online AP English course (Kathryn Walker at PAH) which required the students to discuss books in groups throughout the year. Mrs. Walker also held two "book clubs" where the students themselves planned and carried out their own book discussion...without any teacher present. They had to record it for Mrs. Walker to listen to. This was a fantastic experience for our son. It taught him how to graciously and intelligently discuss books with his peers. 

 

We will not hear the results of the scholarship competition until some time in March. Hopefully, I will post again then with fabulous news!!!

 

And once again...a big HEARTY thanks to all the WTM forumers who have encouraged me so much throughout the years! My son would certainly not have the transcript and academic standing that he has if I hadn't stumbled across this forum years ago.

Jetta

[fourisenough]

Bumping this two year old post of mine.

 

The time has come. My older ds will be attending a highly-competitive scholarship competition at his top-choice school this weekend. I feel that we have prepared him the best that we know how, but I am still quite nervous about it...as is he. In the end my husband thought the experience would stretch our son and be a good experience for him in the long run regardless of the outcome. I agree, but I look forward to it all being over!! DS has three interview sessions: a personal interview with a scholarship committee, a small group discussion of a particular work of literature, and a small group discussion of current events or "hot topics". The weekend also includes a formal dinner, social time Friday night, and spending the night on campus with a student host.

 

For those who will face something like this in the future, I feel that the best thing we did to help prepare our son for this was to put him in an online AP English course (Kathryn Walker at PAH) which required the students to discuss books in groups throughout the year. Mrs. Walker also held two "book clubs" where the students themselves planned and carried out their own book discussion...without any teacher present. They had to record it for Mrs. Walker to listen to. This was a fantastic experience for our son. It taught him how to graciously and intelligently discuss books with his peers.

 

We will not hear the results of the scholarship competition until some time in March. Hopefully, I will post again then with fabulous news!!!

 

And once again...a big HEARTY thanks to all the WTM forumers who have encouraged me so much throughout the years! My son would certainly not have the transcript and academic standing that he has if I hadn't stumbled across this forum years ago.

Jetta

Best of luck to him!

[GoodGrief]

Best wishes to him! My daughter has done a couple of those weekends this year, and she tends to be fairly introverted too. We did work on interviewing skills, and just kept discussing the importance of speaking up in these situations. It's actually been kind of neat to see her blossom in that area throughout the process. It's been educational in its own way!

 

That said, it can be hard to judge how these things are going to go as far as the awarding of the money. I suspect there are factors that we don't consider as parents that are going on behind the scenes, that have nothing to do with our student's performance. Hopefully your son can rejoice if he gets the award, but won't be too hard on himself if it goes a different way.  My daughter was turned down for one that we thought she would almost certainly receive, and got one that seemed to be quite a long shot!

[Lilaclady]

This is great. All the very best to him

[angela in ohio]

I have two pieces of advice if anyone reads this post and is trying to prepare their student for such event...

 

First, it is easier to feel comfortable if a student is confident. This confidence stems from *knowing* that you know what you are doing. This can be anything from being confident in table and other manners to being prepared to make small talk.

 

My oldest dd learned most of her interview skills from FIRST LEGO League and then practiced them in various ways in high school. By the time interview weekends came around, she was pretty good at working it. :D  It was also helpful that she took a co-op course covering How to Win Friends and Influence People. She read a few books on making small talk and making contacts as well.

 

My middle dd just did a day-long scholarship interview two weeks ago, and she has a weekend coming up. I was thinking about it, and I think the formal interview part is the easiest for some students. It's the mingling, meals, and social interactions that can be tough for more academic students. That's the area to hit.

[Kareni]

 

The time has come. My older ds will be attending a highly-competitive scholarship competition at his top-choice school this weekend.

 

Wishing your son well!

 

Regards,

Kareni