Perogi Posted February 14, 2014 Share Posted February 14, 2014 My 10yo dd has done Levels 1-3 of WWE and half of level 4. We took a break from that to do Essentials in Writing, intending to do Writing with Skill next year, in grade 6. She is also doing the Creative Writer. This is her first assignment in EIW. She was instructed to write a narrative about a "last" experience and had a week to revise a different element of the narrative each day. I am disappointed in the final product. Dh says it's ok. Weigh in please! ;) The Last Day of 2013 On the last day of 2013, I woke up with a start, sat bolt upright in bed, and realized it was the last day of the old year. I was excited - tomorrow would be a brand new year! How did the year go by? I had a New Year's Eve party to go to that night. I had to go to school, but I couldn't get my mind off the party or the new year coming. Finally the school day was over and we could eat our dinner. As soon as it was on the table, we gobbled our dinner up. Then we got in our warm coat and boots quickly. We slipped and slid across the road to the Blackburns' house and went inside. It was so warm! "Thanks for coming!" they said. Throughout the night we ate delicious snacks, watched beautiful fireworks and firecrackers, and stayed up really late. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Entropymama Posted February 14, 2014 Share Posted February 14, 2014 I'd be thrilled if my ten year old produced this. But then, we're not doing IEW, we're still working one single paragraph written narrations. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perogi Posted February 14, 2014 Author Share Posted February 14, 2014 Thanks for the feedback. I really don't know how to judge her writing, relative to what she should be able to do at this level. I was hoping for more, but dh always says my expectations are too high. The nearer she gets to high school the more worried I get about the instruction I'm providing her with. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted February 15, 2014 Share Posted February 15, 2014 It looks good to me. It is a narrative, filled with good descriptive detail that describes a "last" experience. She has good grammar, spelling, punctuation and sentence structure. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
julie4 Posted February 15, 2014 Share Posted February 15, 2014 I agree with the others, very good & a lot descriptive details. This is much stronger than what my 10 yo is producing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamaraby Posted February 15, 2014 Share Posted February 15, 2014 She has a good hook for her first sentence by utilizing a bit of surprise. I'd probably try to suggest she capitalize on that further by dropping the words before the first comma. But really, for a first assignment she's off to a great start! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perogi Posted February 15, 2014 Author Share Posted February 15, 2014 Very encouraging, thank you. I honestly thought she should have more description and further details. I will try to relax and just slowly build from here. It's so hard to know with writing!! And somehow the public schools make it seem like their students are incredibly capable writers.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perogi Posted February 15, 2014 Author Share Posted February 15, 2014 Any other constructive criticism? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perogi Posted February 18, 2014 Author Share Posted February 18, 2014 So, I Googled 5th grade writing samples...ay yi yi! What gives?? I mean, I don't think this is as strong as what the myriad of samples I looked at indicated was at grade level. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted February 18, 2014 Share Posted February 18, 2014 This is her first assignment in a new curriculum. It is a very specific assignment with parameters which she filled. Stop comparing! She's doing fine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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