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Anyone NOT regret homeschooling?


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After reading through the " regrets " thread( and some other threads) I came away feeling a bit discouraged.

 

Anyone have time to remind me that homeschooling IS worth it? And we won't mess our dc up by not putting them into ps?

 

* I realize the "regrets" thread was a harmless thread asking for parenting/ school regrets. I have felt discouraged lately so a few things I read- along with a rabbit trail to other threads, sent me looking for encouraging words ; )

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Homeschooling was one of the best things I have ever done with my life. If I had it to do over again, I'd do it in a heartbeat, in an instant, without thinking twice. Even though my children are ambivalent about it, I am confident that they will come to realize it was good for them; *I* have no doubts about it.

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I've only been homeschooling sicne the end of September, but no way do I regret it. 

What I do regret is putting them in public school to begin with. Some days I feel so awful about it that I feel physically beaten down. 

 

In a short amount of time, my two kids are thriving and blossoming into the amazing, bright, articulate, and HILARIOUS kids that they were before they went to school. We have hard days, exhausting days, and stressful days - but never has a day gone by when one of us hasn't said out loud "man, i'm so glad we can homeschool now". 

 

I can honestly say that looking back at a life full of questionable choices, and regrets (big and small), this will be the one thing I will always know was the best choice I have ever made for my kids. And for our whole family. 

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I do not regret homeschooling one little bit.

All I regret is that I did not pull them out of public school right at the end of elementary school, to begin homeschooling with 5th grade.

I could have spared DD a miserable year and DS a useless semester.

 

As for "messing them up": I can see no indication that my 16 y/o who is about to graduate high school in May, has been admitted to several colleges, is well adjusted, doing great in a college environment, has friends and a busy social life and many varied interests, is in any way "messed up". Nor do I see any signs of DS, who is doing well academically, is well adjusted, pursues interesting extracurriculars, and is part of a great circle of friends, will emerge from his home education in any way messed up.

 

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I don't regret it, either.  I've really enjoyed learning with the kids and I think they've had advantages they wouldn't have had anywhere else.  I love being home with them.  And, seeing my daughter's performance in the three semesters of high school, I know I prepared her solidly and I also know that what we're doing at home goes far beyond what is able to be accomplished in school.  However, I also know when I'm not able to provide and I think it's good to be aware.  Once my dd got to high school level I was busy with three younger boys, she had no academic peers, and she was spending a lot of time working alone in her room.  It was not the kind of education I wanted her to have.  She ended up doing three full semesters at the local public school in order to get her French 11, a bunch of sciences, and a bunch of math.  Oh, she did a social studies class, too (I kept all the assignments so that I could give myself a reality check about what "grade 11 level actually looks like).  

 

Homeschooling with the boys is totally different.  They're at similar levels, so it's easier for me to have enough time for all of them.  Also, we're part of a very dynamic learning community.  If we're able to keep our learning community together, then I think they'll have an amazing high school experience as homeschoolers.  

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I love homeschooling and haven't regretting homeschooling. But I do regret many mistakes I have made along the way. This doesn't mean, however, that I would regret any less if the kids had spent that time in school. I'd still have regrets about how I dealt with all the school issues that come up, how I communicated with the teachers, how I handled homework etc. 

 

In fact, I don't think I have ever even met anyone who regretted homeschooling. 

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I regret

not moving to a better school district so I'd have a safety net during hard times,
not buying a MUCH cheaper house (would have had to predict the housing bubble bursting, but still),
not buying a bigger house so that I wouldn't have to basically "live in my school" for 15 years,
not putting my foot down more on the extent to which my DH and kids could take me for granted in the name of Homeschooling: The Everything,
not telling DH, 20 years ago, that we probably couldn't raise a houseful of kids comfortably on one income in his career field, and
not working harder to create an IRL support system for myself.

But I do not regret homeschooling.

I really love how my teens are turning out. I love to see my youngest son head down the same path, bright and curious with good food for his mind and soul, not distracted by public school issues and standardization. He'll benefit from my earlier trials, too. I did take a few notes about what I did wrong the first three times.

I love how much I've learned, myself, over the years. I'm pretty sure I slept through public school because soooo much of our homeschooling curriculum has been entirely news to me! Failure to learn the first time wasn't entirely my fault, though -- world history was a high school elective in my school. Nobody would have ever cared if I spent a lifetime without even learning what's in SOTW, let alone going beyond through the Rhetoric level with my dc.

I love the relationships. I think my family and I will spend a lifetime learning to fully realize the benefits of these years together.

I'm exhausted, poverty-stricken, burnt out, and OLD. Homeschooling the whole way will use a person UP.

But I'm saving all my books for the grandchildren because homeschooling works when we do. No regrets.

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I have never, ever regretted homeschooling (7 years in, 4 kids).  That doesn't mean that it isn't hard sometimes, but it has always been 100% worth it.  I haven't seen the regrets thread, but I can't imagine why someone would regret homeschooling. 

 

This is how I feel as well.  Homeschooling is hard  but I do not regret it.  Homeschooling is  the right and natural choice for our family.

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I've never regretted homeschooling. Our two oldest went back to public school for high school, and for a while I regretted sending Dd (Ds needed to go to school). She has no regrets about her education and was well-prepared for college and life, which is what matters most to me. 

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I regret waiting so long when I knew things were not working right.  I regret that there wasn't more support from the homeschooling community and certain friends and family.  I regret that I had so little understanding of homeschooling and had to do it with little prep.  I regret that I did not seek assessments sooner to understand where the disconnect was for my very bright children.  But I do not regret finally taking the path to homeschooling.  It saved us.

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No major regrets, always homeschooled with only 3 1/2 years to go (sniff) until the youngest goes to college.

 

My academics are better, the environment is better, and I've been able to craft what works for them.  They've been involved in extracurriculars that would be impossible otherwise. We've been able to work through some very, very hard issues as a family versus sending everyone off to different places during the week.

 

It feels strange to see the end in sight!

 

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I don't regret homeschooling.

 

I regret waiting as long as I did to start. I wish I had started a year sooner. I love homeschooling and consider it the single best parenting decision I ever made. There are good days and bad days. There are easy days and hard days. There are exciting days and boring days. There are even days I wish I could send them to school and be done. But, most days I am grateful that I started this adventure and have had the joy and honor in sharing so much of my kids lives. 

 

I am sad it is almost over and I am quite certain I will never regret it.

 

Edited to update: Both of my kids are away at college now. They are both doing great: happy, well adjusted, and academically successful. Neither regrets homeschooling and I don't either. I'm so glad we had that time together and did our best to make their education fit them. Would I do it differently if I was starting over - of course. Hindsight is a wonderful thing, but I'd still do it and I don't think anything terrible happened as a result of my mistakes along the way. :)

Edited by Momto2Ns
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On 2/2/2014 at 5:34 PM, Mommamia said:

After reading through the " regrets " thread( and some other threads) I came away feeling a bit discouraged.
Anyone have time to remind me that homeschooling IS worth it? And we won't mess our dc up by not putting them into ps?


Well, that's why I didn't post over there -- no regrets! ? By far, the best thing I've ever done. Homeschooling...

... stretched and grew ME.
... allowed me to learn right alongside DSs.
... gave us fabulous memories of all that shared time, books, field trips, "oopsie" moments, jokes, deep heart-to-heart conversations...
... was the foundation for the incredible and close relationship we continue to share with our grown sons.
... gave our DSs the opportunity to try all kinds of interesting "extras" that they NEVER would have gotten to do in public school (wouldn't have had the time, or the exposure).
... allowed us to build some special studies around our DSs' interests -- again, never would have happened in p.s.
... allowed us to address and work on younger DS's mild LDs and mature at his rate, not a pre-determined set rate that would have guaranteed frustration and probably failure for him as far as education.
... allowed both DSs to build some wonderful friendships with young men and women they are STILL friends with.

Of course, it's hard to say for certain, but... I really believe public school would have been very destructive for both of our DSs. The social scene at our local p.s. would have crushed our older DS's sweet nature (and yes, I can be fairly sure of that, as he played on the local p.s. tennis team and saw first-hand what the social life was like there). Younger DS would have quickly fallen through the cracks with his LDs, and then his stubborn strong will would have kicked in and he would have rebelled about ANY kind of formal education ever after. Also, I could easily see that he could have been one of those teens who would have been very enchanted by the school cliques and "what's popular/what's not", and would not now have the generous and friendly attitude towards others not of his own age/situation that he DOES have, as he would likely have been a "clique" person.

Of course, everyone's opportunities, situation, and *children* are very very different, which means everyone's choices, successes, and regrets, will be very different. I also consciously choose to be realistic: are there things I wish were a bit different? Of course. But I also think it is very important for me to focus on the FACT that I really tried at every age and every stage to give homeschooling my all and to make the best choices I could at the time, based on the information and situation at hand.

Honestly? My only regret is not having more children as I desired, to keep on homeschooling, as I felt led. Although our DSs have graduated, I continue to try and be involved with homeschoolers through mentoring, co-op classes, and assisting in our homeschool group.

 
Wishing you joy on your journey! Warmest regards, Lori D.
Edited by Lori D.
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Hmmmm.......I posted in that thread and I most certainly didn't mention regretting homeschooling.   I actually only saw a couple that said that they did.   Many said they regretted not homeschooling sooner.

 

I have never regretted homeschooling and I think ps would absolutely have destroyed most of my kids.   I have a 12th grader that is incredibly gifted and has a very bright future ahead of him.   It terrifies me to even think about what his future would look like if he had attended ps.   He didn't read well until 5th grade.   He didn't write well b/c he couldn't read.   He still can't spell worth a hill of beans.   But, now as a 12th grader, he is a very strong student and has been accepted by every university he applied to except for one where he was deferred until regular decision (he'll know in March).  

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Thank you all for taking the time to write. I needed this.

There are days when probably many feel exhausted and worried and maybe even depressed and wonder if they made a huge mistake, even how to get out of that mistake.  I used to do that daily.  I felt like I was in over my head.  I still feel that way at times.  DH does not always feel good about our decision and his doubts undermine my confidence.  We do not have the great homeschooling support that many communities do.  Homeschooling is NOT widespread or well understood here, and neither is dyslexia, which both of my kids are dealing with, so most people we meet do not understand where we are coming from and many family members don't either.  But we keep going, because I know the alternative would be far worse.  And because the kids want to keep going.  And because, honestly, most of the time I am closer to them now than I have ever been.  When all of my friends are fighting with their kids and dealing with kids having issues with a complete lack of respect for their parent and either apathy or even hatred of school, I look at where we are and am grateful.  Days are sometimes really hard, but this is where the kids and I need to be.  Best wishes, Mommamia.   :grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

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I regret

 

not moving to a better school district so I'd have a safety net during hard times,

not buying a MUCH cheaper house (would have had to predict the housing bubble bursting, but still),

not buying a bigger house so that I wouldn't have to basically "live in my school" for 15 years,

not putting my foot down more on the extent to which my DH and kids could take me for granted in the name of Homeschooling: The Everything,

not telling DH, 20 years ago, that we probably couldn't raise a houseful of kids comfortably on one income in his career field, and

not working harder to create an IRL support system for myself.

 

But I do not regret homeschooling.

 

I really love how my teens are turning out. I love to see my youngest son head down the same path, bright and curious with good food for his mind and soul, not distracted by public school issues and standardization. He'll benefit from my earlier trials, too. I did take a few notes about what I did wrong the first three times.

 

I love how much I've learned, myself, over the years. I'm pretty sure I slept through public school because soooo much of our homeschooling curriculum has been entirely news to me! Failure to learn the first time wasn't entirely my fault, though -- world history was a high school elective in my school. Nobody would have ever cared if I spent a lifetime without even learning what's in SOTW, let alone going beyond through the Rhetoric level with my dc.

 

I love the relationships. I think my family and I will spend a lifetime learning to fully realize the benefits of these years together.

 

I'm exhausted, poverty-stricken, burnt out, and OLD. Homeschooling the whole way will use a person UP.

 

But I'm saving all my books for the grandchildren because homeschooling works when we do. No regrets.

 

This. Especially the part about learning right along with your kids. My older daughter graduated homeschool last year and I am absolutely, 100% certain it was the best thing for her. She LOVED being homeschooled. We gave her the option of going to PS for senior year (prom, senior trip etc) and she flat out said no way. She participated in a homeschool graduation and her father and I were able to present her diploma to her. I can't begin to tell you how precious that was for us.

 

My youngest is 8, and she did a year in PS last year for 2nd grade because I had to work. Now THAT I regret. It set her a full year behind in math. I quit my job on her last day of school and she is back homeschooling. She loves being homeschooled and doesn't want to go back to PS.

 

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Not only don't regret it but spend way too much time in Court fighting ex to be 'permitted' to continue.

Eldest went to school for a few years in the middle of her schooling, per ex's wishes/command.

It gave me confidence in my ability to home educate and pushed me to get her assessed so her teachers could try to address what seemed obvious to me.

I don't regret her few years in school for the insight it gave me, the good friends I gained and she also gained from a couple of good relationships with staff.

 

However eldest's time in school gives me strength to continue the fight keep this dd from school.

It's worth it, we love it.

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I am in my twelfth year of homeschooling. I absolutely do not regret homeschooling.

 

There are many seasons that I wish had gone better. There were some tough times in which I wish I could have been more amazing as a teacher rather than hanging on with grim determination.

 

In the end, though, I'm so glad we did hang on. I believe the difficult seasons would have been just as difficult or more so if we had been tied to a school bureaucracy. And now, approaching the end of the road with my dd17, I am seeing the fruits of this long labor. She speaks French and Spanish fluently. Her test scores are great. Her work ethic is solid. She has friends from many different walks of life. Her heart is sweet, and our relationship is very close. I could say the same for my ds--despite being the passionate soul that he is in those challenging middle years, he is a sweet kid who knows how to work hard and is excelling academically and in the various teams and clubs he is a part of. He still enjoys cuddling while I read aloud. In short, both kids seem to be thriving despite all my failures and shortcomings, and I treasure our days together.

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Well, I was homeschooled in high school and I loved my experience.  I don't regret one minute of it!

 

Because of my great experience I was inspired to homeschool my own kids.  We are still new to this adventure but so far we don't have any regrets.

 

I actually just blogged about my homeschool highschool experience and then my mom shared about how I asked her to homeschool me, how she prepared for me to apply for college, and a little bit about my day in high school.  So......it tells a little bit about how we both feel about our homeschool experience - which is very positive  :hurray:

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I'm in my 10th year and no regrets. Two more to go and he'll graduate. It might have been one of the best decisions we've ever made. It's been hard, sometimes I question my ability, sometimes I question (or change) how we approach things, but the act of homeschooling holds no regrets for me. 

 

Of course, now ds states that if he were in public school he'd show up at noon.  :lol:  :lol:

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I have no regrets homeschooling my younger 3 children.  I posted my regret in that other thread about my oldest, not because I don't like homeschooling him but because it is becoming more and more evident that he may not be able to be fully functional on his own as an adult and having him in ps would give him the needed paper trail to access services BUT we are at a point that I can not put him in without him losing all the high school credits he has already finished.  So I have to wait until 2nd semester next year at the soonest so that we can be sure his credits are filed with the gov't (have to wait until he is registered in 10th grade before we can file) so that he won't lose those. I want him to have the paper trail and he is exhausting to be honest.  But I have no regrets homeschooling the other 3 and have seen tremendous benefits in doing so and intend to continue right through high school with them.  So it is not homeschooling itself I regret but homeschooling that one particular child because as hard as ps was it gave me respite from his needs and that is needed BUT I also know what ps was with him and the reason we started hsing was because he had his suicide planned at 7 yrs old due to feeling too stupid to live in ps.  SO I don't regret pulling him and starting.  He has always had mental health issues, he always will.  And perhaps if I had more supports along the way, or knew he would have supports as an adult so that it won't all continue to fall on me I wouldn't have any regrets with him either, but it is what it is.  While I feel trapped in it with him, with the others I do not, with them I look forward to what each day will bring.  I love seeing the growth and planning for the upcoming year, and seeing them blossom in their own time and wouldn't change any of that at all.

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I've sometimes wondered if I was doing the right thing, but I can't say I've ever regretted it.  Both of my adult dds say they are glad they were homeschool and are adamant they will homeschool their children.  My 16 frequently thanks me for homeschooling her.  So no regrets here although I don't believe it's always the best choice in every situation.  

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I have been homeschooling for 5 years and don't have a single regret. I'm glad that my 4th grader is able to excel in her 3rd grade math book instead if ending up in tears every night while doing homework that she doesn't understand like her friend from church. I'm grateful that my 6 year old is able to fly through her 2nd grade math book while still slowly plugging along through K reading skills. I'm excited to be able to learn along with my kids every day. I love that we can do science experiments and collect bugs and take days off to spend with daddy because he finally has a day off.

 

I was homeschooled myself from 2nd grade all the way through high school. It wasn't a perfect homeschooling experience. It was a new thing then and there wasn't a lot of support or materials available for parents. There were things that my parents did that I wouldn't/won't. BUT I still wouldn't trade it. I was able to pursue my passions and growing up as part of the early homeschooling movement thinking "outside the box" is basically just ingrained. There are holes in my education but I am still so incredibly grateful to my parents for making that choice and not being afraid to try something different. No regrets as a home schooled kid or parent here. :-)

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I missed it.  Where are all these "regret" threads???  It's February and things are hard.  Homeschooling isn't a walk in the park, and unfun things happen (like your kid being 10 and still not reading or cancer or...).  This is the worst month of the year for homeschooling, so we just have to take our vitamin D, suck up, accept our fears may or may not materialize, pray, and get it done.

 

No, I don't regret homeschooling, mercy.  There's nothing to regret.  My dc reads, is happy and whole, and she's thriving.  I suppose I could wish I were a better housekeeper or cook or this or that, but that's not the fault of homeschooling, just my own lack of drive and energy and preparation.

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No regrets here either.  Ever.  Seriously.  Like others have said, some days are difficult, some days you second-guess yourself, some days (very few) I cry.  Most days we enjoy each others company, play a lot, do school, cook or bake, read, read, and read some more.  I love, love, love, homeschooling and cannot imagine sending my dc off every day.

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I don't regret HSing. I do regret that the economy in general and my husband's industry in particular have been so lousy over the past 6 years. Not having that 2nd income to help out has been difficult, no doubt about that. But that is a function of my being a SAHM rather than HSing per se.

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I love it. Don't regret it. In fact, I feel that I've become more of an advocate for it than I ever thought I would be. I want to help folks feel better about themselves and thier choice to do it. In our family, we are dual income and for now we can buy whatever we want but it comes with sacrifices. We are over-the-road truck drivers and we homeschool our daughter with us. We are together 24/7 and that has it's challenges. It isn't like anyone else and so we have different struggles. Well, a few different.

 

Either way, I'll never regret this choice and I have learned way more than I ever thought I would. Both in knowledge and in what I can do. I'm proud of myself for learning all this new stuff about home educating. Who knew? It's a huge industry!

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I don't regret it at all, for either boy.  Calvin was bright but not ready to write - he was already starting to feel that he was stupid at school.  Hobbes had a stutter and might have lost all his confidence from teasing.  It was absolutely the best start for both of them.

 

They went to school in the end, and that was also the best decision for them at that time, but I'm sure that the home education foundation contributed to Calvin's university acceptances.

 

L

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That sounds truly fascinating and I would really love to hear more about your experiences. Do you have a blog?

I've often been asked that. I tried and even have my profile name as my domain name but all my energy last year went into a photography business website. I have trucking adventure stories on there. Maybe 6 or so in blog posts.

 

I take LOTS of pictures and document everything, well, a lot but it takes taking the time to write about stuff. Last year, I was posting pictures twice a week on my company FB account but it got overwhelming to say the least. I started a FB page for our dogs (Truck Doods) and that's somewhat doable but it's just so hard to get the computer out (because I HAVE to upload images to tell my stories) and get stuff done. I'm hoping to get more blogs posted and possibly tweak my company website to have room for our life and tell our story. Thank you so much for showing an interest.

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Hmmmm.......I posted in that thread and I most certainly didn't mention regretting homeschooling.   I actually only saw a couple that said that they did.   Many said they regretted not homeschooling sooner.

 

I have never regretted homeschooling and I think ps would absolutely have destroyed most of my kids.   I have a 12th grader that is incredibly gifted and has a very bright future ahead of him.   It terrifies me to even think about what his future would look like if he had attended ps.   He didn't read well until 5th grade.   He didn't write well b/c he couldn't read.   He still can't spell worth a hill of beans.   But, now as a 12th grader, he is a very strong student and has been accepted by every university he applied to except for one where he was deferred until regular decision (he'll know in March).  

 

 

I missed it.  Where are all these "regret" threads???  It's February and things are hard.  Homeschooling isn't a walk in the park, and unfun things happen (like your kid being 10 and still not reading or cancer or...).  This is the worst month of the year for homeschooling, so we just have to take our vitamin D, suck up, accept our fears may or may not materialize, pray, and get it done.

 

No, I don't regret homeschooling, mercy.  There's nothing to regret.  My dc reads, is happy and whole, and she's thriving.  I suppose I could wish I were a better housekeeper or cook or this or that, but that's not the fault of homeschooling, just my own lack of drive and energy and preparation.

 

:iagree:   I didn't see much regret in the other thread. 

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Homeschooling was one of the best things I have ever done with my life. If I had it to do over again, I'd do it in a heartbeat, in an instant, without thinking twice. Even though my children are ambivalent about it, I am confident that they will come to realize it was good for them; *I* have no doubts about it.

How old are your daughters?

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