Annie Laurie Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 Is this normal? Our school days are so long now that my kids are getting older, (with my 7th and 6th graders), my 9 year old is so easily frustrated and cries over everything, and I also have a 3 year old who is going to be the death of me that I'm juggling in between school stuff. He is very high-needs and needs a lot of stimulation. I can't even summon up the energy to make dinner lately, all week my kids have had things like eggs for dinner or Applegate Farms hot dogs (I try to convince myself that those aren't as bad for them). I need to tweak some school stuff, but when I finally have time at the end of the day to look over things and do some planning, I'm just too tired and brain dead. I have a photography hobby that was the one thing I did for myself, but I have hardly taken even one photo in months, and I'm depressed that I'm going to lose all the skills I worked so hard on. But I can't keep up with homeschooling and household things, let alone a hobby. Please tell me this will get better! Or ideas of what I can do to make things smoother. if you have any. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie Laurie Posted January 31, 2014 Author Share Posted January 31, 2014 I feel a little exposed and embarrassed that I posted a whine. I had the flu and it took me 3 weeks to recover, that's probably part of my problem right now. It's just a season and it'll get better. Our school routine is good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
purduemeche Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 Can't comment if this is normal - but for us it's true. We have moved some school time to the evenings and weekends so both us can teach and protect mommy's energy level. We call this symptom "Holy Tired," and frankly don't consider it a bad thing. Tired from doing good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ondreeuh Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 I lock myself in my room once my 6 year old goes to bed. The older kids take care of the dogs and lock up before they go to bed. I am just d.o.n.e. This is just a season. Maybe your big kids can watch the 3 year old for a couple of hours each weekend to give you some time to shoot photos, read in a cafe, or whatever else you choose. I need to take my own advice, lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ElizabethB Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 The kids need to cook and clean more! My 6th grader makes dinner for the family (except me because of severe multiple food allergies) about once a week and my 3rd grader cooks dinner for the family about once a month. They make their own lunch often. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie Laurie Posted January 31, 2014 Author Share Posted January 31, 2014 The kids need to cook and clean more! My 6th grader makes dinner for the family (except me because of severe multiple food allergies) about once a week and my 3rd grader cooks dinner for the family about once a month. They make their own lunch often. :grouphug: They do a lot of chores- they wipe bathrooms, fold their own laundry, do dishes, and take care of the pets daily. But cooking is a great point! I just told my dh the other day that we need to start doing this, my kids have even asked if they can, they like the idea of being in charge of dinner once a week, and with 3 of them doing it that would save me for a good portion of the week! But I always forget and don''t make it part of the routine. Thanks for the reminder! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ElizabethB Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 They do a lot of chores- they wipe bathrooms, fold their own laundry, do dishes, and take care of the pets daily. But cooking is a great point! I just told my dh the other day that we need to start doing this, my kids have even asked if they can, they like the idea of being in charge of dinner once a week, and with 3 of them doing it that would save me for a good portion of the week! But I always forget and don''t make it part of the routine. Thanks for the reminder! It takes a bit of instruction time and work to start with but pays off in the long run. Sounds like you'll soon be a bit less tired!! (Plus, then they'll be ready for the real world, many of my friends would have been better off if they had learned to cook earlier, it saves money and is healthier.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Cook Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 It is normal for me. I'm not physically exhausted, but mentally I'm toast by the time we are finished with school for the day. My kids are young and our days aren't that long, maybe 4 hours total by the time I've cycled through everyone and we've done our group work. The kids aren't hard to teach, they are smart, but pretty average kids and they like to learn. I think that it is because I'm an introvert. I enjoy being with them, but by the time we are done I need a little space and quiet to recharge. The kids head to their bedrooms for about an hour and a half, I don't care what they do as long as they are quiet. I read, crochet or sew during that time. Occasionally I nap. And I usually end up recharged for the rest of the day. I don't know if that's helpful or not, but you definitely are not alone! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LLMom Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 This is how homeschool was for me, but I was dealing with depression so I think that is why I was so tired/brain dead at the end of the day. Cut yourself some slack, if you can. Use paper plates at meals and don't worry about not cooking. Hot dogs won't kill them. Sometimes we moms think we have to do everything, be everything for everyone. I about lost myself trying to cook organic, homemade, nutritious food all of the time (and grow it), homeschool 7 children (creating all of my own lesson plans--because that is best!), evaluate every book, movie, and friend my children came into contact with, and many other causes that aren't necessary to raising children. Do what you can, but be easy on yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 I think that three year olds suck the life out of anyone. (((hugs))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 Not homeschooling anymore, but I did it while dealing with a difficult (nonhomeschooling) family member, and it was hard some days to even want to crack a read aloud. Take care of yourself as best you can. Look for redundancy in your curricula and ease up in those areas. Protect some time for yourself. Get enough sleep, even if housework suffers. Remember what you need sensorially--I need quiet and not too much stim going on when I'm cooking, for example--others need music in the backround. Do what you can the night before--some like to wake up with a clean kitchen and clothing choices already made, for example. Hugs to you. It's a season, but at least you are realistic and not in denial about how hard it is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tabinfl Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 I'm right there with you. by the time I get all three of mine through even the bare necessities, I'm toast. My husband makes dinner more often than not and does most of the grocery shopping too. The kids have a few chores, but because they still require guidance and supervision their chores are as much work for me as help. My hobbies too have take a back seat to school, i spend a few hours a week at choir and music rehearsals at church, that and a little some pleasure reading at bedtime are it. I don't have a solution yet, but our next step is to push some school work to the evenings & weekends when Daddy can help so that i at least have more time to do fun things with the kids & am not just the taskmaster all the time. From there I'm hoping that i will regain some energy for hobbies of my own. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 There is a reason SWB recommends quite time in the afternoon. It's one of the best things we ever did. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MeghanL Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 I would second the quiet time idea. That way you have 2 hours in the afternoon for quiet, recharging, pursuing a hobby, planning or whatever else you need time to do when you are awake and alert. You might find that that time allows for you to get a second wind and you are more productive in the evenings. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momacacia Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 I'm tired too but have adrenal issues. Some things that help: The crockpot. Prepping 2-4 entrees on weekend for the week. Prepping salad on weekend. Deviled eggs, tuna salad, things like that. Getting big bags of frozen veggies from Costco to steam for lunch/dinner sides (so yummy with hot dogs ;-) What about incorporating photography into school? Takes beautiful pics of your kids (come take some pics of mine ;), of school in action using your skills. Be real artsy with it. Teach the older kids about the camera and skills. What a great skill to pass along and will be review for you. One half-hour lesson a week---go easy on yourself. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lots of little ducklings Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 OP- do you school year-round? Or try to fit it all into 9 months? My dcs are still all little and I'm pregnant, so my exhaustion is of a different type, but back in October it became clear that I couldn't keep going at the pace I wanted. (The kids alternated breaks, but I was working 8a-6p; with barely a lunch and no time for dinner prep). Establishing kid chores (which you do already) helped a lot; but reducing our workload (eliminating redundant or mastered language arts work, for example, and focusing only on skills that truly needed practice) plus spreading our goals year-round really helped my energy level a lot. Now if only my 6 year-old could cook. I still haven't worked out a system to provide economical healthy family dinners for my carb-loving hyper-picky-eating dcs, and my DH just informed me he'd like to go paleo..... Sheesh. Love the idea, don't get me wrong, but we may have to hire a cook/nutritionist to satisfy everyone's needs, including my own sanity :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
madteaparty Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 Also have an almost 3 year old. Yes, also very exhausted at end of the day. It's good-tired, but very tired :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterPan Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 Yes, sigh, the needy youngest. Do you think you have some SN going on that need evals? Definitely pursue the crockpot. I've starting using a meal planning app on my iPad (brilliantly called MealPlan, you just type, drag, and drop) and that makes it a little more no-brainer for me. Those two oldest kids can cook, so definitely teach them. They could even tag team, one making the salad and the other cooking the meat, and switch either nightly or weekly. Delegate out to them. I use audiobooks on the iPad and enriching videos with my ds a lot. On the photography, you could switch to shooting jpg for a while if you've been shooting raw. Is it a dSLR? Put a 35 or something kind of wide on and just have it out to shoot a pic a day. Your kids are doing things. Take pictures of them sleeping. I keep my camera out in a basket, where I can always reach it. Are you taking vitamin D? February is the WORST MONTH, so tell yourself that now. You may need to cut back on some things or look at your academics to see if maybe pausing a couple things will let you get the rest finished in a more timely fashion. I started a new D supplement, and it has been better for me. It's by KAL and oil-based. D can definitely help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
My3girls Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 Check vitamin D and iron levels. When mine were low, I was exhausted all the time. We do the 2 hour break in the afternoon. It's not necessarily quiet time, but it's pursue your own interests time. The girls go out and play or play minecraft, etc... I make phone calls, read, etc... It helps. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie Laurie Posted January 31, 2014 Author Share Posted January 31, 2014 I think that it is because I'm an introvert. I enjoy being with them, but by the time we are done I need a little space and quiet to recharge. The kids head to their bedrooms for about an hour and a half, I don't care what they do as long as they are quiet. I read, crochet or sew during that time. Occasionally I nap. And I usually end up recharged for the rest of the day. I don't know if that's helpful or not, but you definitely are not alone! Starr, on 31 Jan 2014 - 08:08 AM, said: There is a reason SWB recommends quite time in the afternoon. It's one of the best things we ever did I would second the quiet time idea. That way you have 2 hours in the afternoon for quiet, recharging, pursuing a hobby, planning or whatever else you need time to do when you are awake and alert. You might find that that time allows for you to get a second wind and you are more productive in the evenings. We had quiet time for years, but I don't know how to make time for that now and still get school done. And honestly, since my 3 yr old stopped napping at around 2, quiet time has been impossible anyway. It's an area where I need to do some training. I will think on this, it's definitely a big part of the problem, I am an introvert, and my dh works from home now too so I feel like I never get time alone. I'm right there with you. by the time I get all three of mine through even the bare necessities, I'm toast. My husband makes dinner more often than not and does most of the grocery shopping too. The kids have a few chores, but because they still require guidance and supervision their chores are as much work for me as help. My hobbies too have take a back seat to school, i spend a few hours a week at choir and music rehearsals at church, that and a little some pleasure reading at bedtime are it. I don't have a solution yet, but our next step is to push some school work to the evenings & weekends when Daddy can help so that i at least have more time to do fun things with the kids & am not just the taskmaster all the time. From there I'm hoping that i will regain some energy for hobbies of my own. My husband can't help with anything. He has a new job with a big learning curve and a lot of demands on his time so he's not available. Our days sound very similar. I will be thankful that my older kids don't need much supervision for chores! I'm tired too but have adrenal issues. Some things that help: The crockpot. Prepping 2-4 entrees on weekend for the week. Prepping salad on weekend. Deviled eggs, tuna salad, things like that. Getting big bags of frozen veggies from Costco to steam for lunch/dinner sides (so yummy with hot dogs ;-) What about incorporating photography into school? Takes beautiful pics of your kids (come take some pics of mine ;), of school in action using your skills. Be real artsy with it. Teach the older kids about the camera and skills. What a great skill to pass along and will be review for you. One half-hour lesson a week---go easy on yourself. :) The crockpot was my best friend for a few years when my 3 yr old did not sleep much for the first 2 years of his life and I was barely functioning, and now we're so sick of my crockpot meals. I need to find some new ones, thanks for the reminder! Yes, I did a 365 project and a lot of lifestyle photography and did take pics of our day to day, but I find it too distracting now, as my education was lacking and I have to actively pay attention, read ahead of my kids, work math problems with them, etc. And then my 3 yr old is excellent at getting into things the minute my attention is elsewhere. Usually when I have a minute between kids, I read to him or play with him so he doesn't feel left out all day. I've offered to teach my kids before and they have no interest. OP- do you school year-round? Or try to fit it all into 9 months? My dcs are still all little and I'm pregnant, so my exhaustion is of a different type, but back in October it became clear that I couldn't keep going at the pace I wanted. (The kids alternated breaks, but I was working 8a-6p; with barely a lunch and no time for dinner prep). Establishing kid chores (which you do already) helped a lot; but reducing our workload (eliminating redundant or mastered language arts work, for example, and focusing only on skills that truly needed practice) plus spreading our goals year-round really helped my energy level a lot. Now if only my 6 year-old could cook. I still haven't worked out a system to provide economical healthy family dinners for my carb-loving hyper-picky-eating dcs, and my DH just informed me he'd like to go paleo..... Sheesh. Love the idea, don't get me wrong, but we may have to hire a cook/nutritionist to satisfy everyone's needs, including my own sanity :-) We school year round and always have. I try to make meals as easy as possible but then feel like they start lacking nutritionally. Also have an almost 3 year old. Yes, also very exhausted at end of the day. It's good-tired, but very tired :) I think that three year olds suck the life out of anyone. (((hugs))) Ha! Yes, I know it's going to be so much easier once he gets older! Of course, I've been telling myself that for 3 years now, since he was a hard baby from the beginning. My other kids were so much fun at 3, would sit at the table with us, loved Kumon books, etc. Not this kid, and that's okay because he's his own person and I love him as he is, but I don't know what to do with him! He loves to be read to and will sit for 45-60 minutes paying attention to stories, but I can't read to him all day since I need to work with the other kids. I read to him in small segments when the older kids are working on stuff, but that is never enough for him. He spends all day whining and begging us to play with him or read to him, or destroying things. I spend a lot of the day rotating activities for him that he gets bored with after 5 minutes. Yes, sigh, the needy youngest. Do you think you have some SN going on that need evals? Definitely pursue the crockpot. I've starting using a meal planning app on my iPad (brilliantly called MealPlan, you just type, drag, and drop) and that makes it a little more no-brainer for me. Those two oldest kids can cook, so definitely teach them. They could even tag team, one making the salad and the other cooking the meat, and switch either nightly or weekly. Delegate out to them. I use audiobooks on the iPad and enriching videos with my ds a lot. On the photography, you could switch to shooting jpg for a while if you've been shooting raw. Is it a dSLR? Put a 35 or something kind of wide on and just have it out to shoot a pic a day. Your kids are doing things. Take pictures of them sleeping. I keep my camera out in a basket, where I can always reach it. Are you taking vitamin D? February is the WORST MONTH, so tell yourself that now. You may need to cut back on some things or look at your academics to see if maybe pausing a couple things will let you get the rest finished in a more timely fashion. I started a new D supplement, and it has been better for me. It's by KAL and oil-based. D can definitely help. As far as evals, I'm keeping an eye on my 9 year old since he is crying over everything. I have always thought that he and my 11 yr old are mildly dyslexic. He still writes Bs backwards and catches himself and corrects it. My 11 yr old seems fine at adapting though, and is a strong and voraciosu reader and writer. My 9 year old I am trying some things with and will reevaluate in a few months. He is a very emotional type though and just cries easily. I'll see if 3 yr old would sit and listen to audio stories. It's a dslr. I do shoot RAW but don't spend a ton of time editing, my SOOC is fine for archival purposes of family memories. I always have my camera out and used to take photos of everything we did all day long, but I'm having trouble keeping our focus on school when I do that now. Honestly, I was involved in hard-core critique and workshops and classes so much last year that I totally burned myself out and don't even know where to begin with it again. I need some kind of project to get me going again, but am using all my brain cells for school at the moment! I just started vitamin D a few days ago, I do think I have some deficiencies due to how sick I was with the flu and how tired I always am. Check vitamin D and iron levels. When mine were low, I was exhausted all the time. We do the 2 hour break in the afternoon. It's not necessarily quiet time, but it's pursue your own interests time. The girls go out and play or play minecraft, etc... I make phone calls, read, etc... It helps. Hopefully Vitamin D will make a difference for me soon! I wish I could figure out how to work a break in, will do some thinking on that, but as it is, we're not done until 5:00 most days. Thank you so much ladies, for all the encouragement and ideas! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterPan Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 My ds stopped napping early on too, so I plunk him in front of the tv for 1 1/2-2 hours a day. Someone can squawk about that, but oh well. His language scores are off the charts in speech therapy, so it clearly hasn't hurt him. He watches Calliou, Mr. Rogers, Magic School Bus, anything History Channel or Military Channel, Signing Time, that sort of thing. For a 3 yo, definitely look into Signing Time. You know we have an LC board... It's possible to make assumptions and be floating the wrong label. Dyslexia and adhd used to be lumped together as "minimal brain dysfunction" so there's a lot of overlap with symptoms. Hopefully the D will kick in for you and have you feeling more energized soon! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FO4UR Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 I relate. If you are sick of crockpot meals, maybe there is another way to achieve easy dinners? Maybe the older children can help chop/prep food as a routine chore so that you can (or they can) quickly saute a healthy dinner. Maybe try some different types of salads that can be kept in the fridge and pulled at as needed. I would find a variety of recipes and let the kids experiment with it...maybe it'll be something they enjoy (while helping the family). I utilize my rice cooker. Rice + sauteed meat & veggies = quick dinner. I can change up the meats & veggies to get a variety out of the same easy routine. It's OK to just focus on school right now. Set a time for a break though. Take a break from school and delve into a photography project for a week. Plan those breaks in as you need them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Acadie Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 I had the flu in December and it was many weeks before my energy returned. And I was weepy for a while--it really does take a lot out of you. Even now I feel a little...lazy? or something, but it is Feb. There are times I feel like my most important job is nourishing myself, and I put the kids' stuff on auopilot for a week or two to focus on my own needs. I had 2 reflux babies and I know the bone-tired that comes after years of tending to high-need little ones. Getting a regular afternoon rest would make a world of difference. Would your 3 yo listen to books on CD? That's how we started quiet time with my youngest when nothing else seemed to work. Assign the olders certain times/activities with the little one? Escape to your room with a cup of tea? Amy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redsquirrel Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 I got exhausted just from reading your post. That is a lot of kids with a lot of need for you to meet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kbutton Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 Both my kids either are or have been very high needs since birth, and my husband works in emergency medicine, so I know how you feel. I am the only one who is organized. It's very difficult most of the time. For nutritious meals, I would try to make double and save it if you can. Some food freeze well for reheating later--if you have time, roast a whole rack of sweet potatoes, and then toss them into the freezer with the skins on (into a freezer bag). They reheat readily and taste like baked sweet potatoes instead of microwaved or steamed sweet potatoes. Think plain food...meat (anything from an egg, tuna, burger, crumbled beef, leftover roast, etc.), steamed veggie, starch (rice, potato, whatever--I can't eat wheat). Fruit, nuts, crackers, cut up veggies (carrots, peppers, etc.) for snacks. We eat very plain food most of the time, and we live. It's all whole foods--you don't have to be gourmet to eat whole foods. We eat a variety of veggies. We get sick of veggies if we try to eat two different veggies at each meal. So at lunch, we'll just eat a huge portion of one veggie at a meal, and then have two veggies with smaller portions at another meal. Bagged frozen veggies go straight into the steamer basket, and my kids can turn it on. Soup is a friend--you can simmer most soup on the stove all day long or an hour before dinner. So, you can add the ingredients at pretty much any point you find the time to prep them--maybe you can brown meat and onions (right on the bottom of the soup pot) at one point, and add water or broth. Later, you toss in a can of diced tomatoes. While the kids snack, you cut up a potato or two. Finally, you toss in a bag of peas and carrots an hour before dinner. Add a starch and a salad, and you're done. These are all great meals for kids to learn to cook. Dishes are fairly minimal this way. We rinse the pot and steamer basket between meals and then use it for supper. Then it gets washed after supper. If you are cooking potatoes or something over a big pot, consider finding a stackable steamer that will fit on top, and then you toss it on top of the soup or potatoes when it's time. IKEA makes sets like this. The kids eat a variety of things, but I try to guide them toward oatmeal and yogurt. There are so many unsweetened kinds out there now that sugar content isn't a factor anymore--you can even get quick cooking steal cut oats in packets. I am assuming that you are doubling up as much as you can with your 6th and 7th graders, especially in content subjects. At some point, something has to give, and maybe it will give on it's own in a positive way by waiting things out. Otherwise, your husband may need to help solve the problem if his work is keeping him so busy. We finally found a sitter, and it's been really helpful. We don't always go out--sometimes she plays with the kids while we clean a closet or sort paperwork, but it's slowly easing the backlog. My husband isn't high needs, but he doesn't organize time all that well (not that I am the guru!), and his family never, ever felt the need to get on the same page about anything. So, just learning to communicate that he needs x time slots for exercise each week is a big help instead of announcing that he's going to exercise some really busy morning. He works all different shifts that are on various days and at various hours, so we can't even work off of a template for days with him and days without him--we'd have to have about 20 different possible scenarios for his days off, lol. Also, have you considered sending the 3 y.o. to preschool a couple of mornings per week? Depending on the work schedule, maybe hubby could even drop him off. I did that for a bit when my younger one was four, and we had just started homeschooling my high needs older one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fourisenough Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 I lock myself in my room once my 6 year old goes to bed. The older kids take care of the dogs and lock up before they go to bed. I am just d.o.n.e. This is just a season. Maybe your big kids can watch the 3 year old for a couple of hours each weekend to give you some time to shoot photos, read in a cafe, or whatever else you choose. I need to take my own advice, lol. This resonated with me. I crawl in bed the very MINUTE my 4 year old is out for the night (anywhere from 7-8p); I don't go to sleep right away, but I'm DONE interacting with people. Sometimes (often, actually) that is before my husband is home from picking up the older girls from swim practice. Hugs. And don't ever feel bad for whining. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Indian summer Posted February 1, 2014 Share Posted February 1, 2014 I have sixth and seventh graders and a younger one and I couldn't juggle it all either. The older kids had to learn to cook and all three help with clean ups too. The older kids make grilled cheeses, heat canned goods, make crockpot Mac and cheese, crockpot lasagna, muffins, fried eggs - the easiest stuff. It has taken a big weight off of me to get them to help with at least one meal (sometimes two)on weekdays. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie Laurie Posted February 1, 2014 Author Share Posted February 1, 2014 My ds stopped napping early on too, so I plunk him in front of the tv for 1 1/2-2 hours a day. Someone can squawk about that, but oh well. His language scores are off the charts in speech therapy, so it clearly hasn't hurt him. He watches Calliou, Mr. Rogers, Magic School Bus, anything History Channel or Military Channel, Signing Time, that sort of thing. For a 3 yo, definitely look into Signing Time. You know we have an LC board... It's possible to make assumptions and be floating the wrong label. Dyslexia and adhd used to be lumped together as "minimal brain dysfunction" so there's a lot of overlap with symptoms. Hopefully the D will kick in for you and have you feeling more energized soon! :) My husband can be bad about putting ds in front of the tv, so I feel like he uses up all the tv time. I'm going to talk to him about that, what time ds does spend in front of the tube should be after school when I really, really need to sit and be left alone for awhile. I will peek in to the LC board, I don't even know where to begin with testing but it's something I should probably do just so I know where we stand and can help my kids learn coping strategies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie Laurie Posted February 1, 2014 Author Share Posted February 1, 2014 Both my kids either are or have been very high needs since birth, and my husband works in emergency medicine, so I know how you feel. I am the only one who is organized. It's very difficult most of the time. For nutritious meals, I would try to make double and save it if you can. Some food freeze well for reheating later--if you have time, roast a whole rack of sweet potatoes, and then toss them into the freezer with the skins on (into a freezer bag). They reheat readily and taste like baked sweet potatoes instead of microwaved or steamed sweet potatoes. Think plain food...meat (anything from an egg, tuna, burger, crumbled beef, leftover roast, etc.), steamed veggie, starch (rice, potato, whatever--I can't eat wheat). Fruit, nuts, crackers, cut up veggies (carrots, peppers, etc.) for snacks. We eat very plain food most of the time, and we live. It's all whole foods--you don't have to be gourmet to eat whole foods. We eat a variety of veggies. We get sick of veggies if we try to eat two different veggies at each meal. So at lunch, we'll just eat a huge portion of one veggie at a meal, and then have two veggies with smaller portions at another meal. Bagged frozen veggies go straight into the steamer basket, and my kids can turn it on. Soup is a friend--you can simmer most soup on the stove all day long or an hour before dinner. So, you can add the ingredients at pretty much any point you find the time to prep them--maybe you can brown meat and onions (right on the bottom of the soup pot) at one point, and add water or broth. Later, you toss in a can of diced tomatoes. While the kids snack, you cut up a potato or two. Finally, you toss in a bag of peas and carrots an hour before dinner. Add a starch and a salad, and you're done. These are all great meals for kids to learn to cook. Dishes are fairly minimal this way. We rinse the pot and steamer basket between meals and then use it for supper. Then it gets washed after supper. If you are cooking potatoes or something over a big pot, consider finding a stackable steamer that will fit on top, and then you toss it on top of the soup or potatoes when it's time. IKEA makes sets like this. The kids eat a variety of things, but I try to guide them toward oatmeal and yogurt. There are so many unsweetened kinds out there now that sugar content isn't a factor anymore--you can even get quick cooking steal cut oats in packets. I am assuming that you are doubling up as much as you can with your 6th and 7th graders, especially in content subjects. At some point, something has to give, and maybe it will give on it's own in a positive way by waiting things out. Otherwise, your husband may need to help solve the problem if his work is keeping him so busy. We finally found a sitter, and it's been really helpful. We don't always go out--sometimes she plays with the kids while we clean a closet or sort paperwork, but it's slowly easing the backlog. My husband isn't high needs, but he doesn't organize time all that well (not that I am the guru!), and his family never, ever felt the need to get on the same page about anything. So, just learning to communicate that he needs x time slots for exercise each week is a big help instead of announcing that he's going to exercise some really busy morning. He works all different shifts that are on various days and at various hours, so we can't even work off of a template for days with him and days without him--we'd have to have about 20 different possible scenarios for his days off, lol. Also, have you considered sending the 3 y.o. to preschool a couple of mornings per week? Depending on the work schedule, maybe hubby could even drop him off. I did that for a bit when my younger one was four, and we had just started homeschooling my high needs older one. You've hit the nail on the head- I need to be more organized about meals and househould stuff. I'm so tired all the time though, that it feels like a huge, insurmountable thing, and it's easier just to stick to my habits, kwim? Even if developing some new habits would save me energy in the long run, it just sounds overwhelming right now. But I will definitely give some thought to small ways I could start working on this. Yes, the 6th and 7th graders do history, geography, and science together, and also grammar since we do a lot of R&S orally or on the white board. I have considered preschool many times, but my ds refuses to potty train so that's out for now. I have sixth and seventh graders and a younger one and I couldn't juggle it all either. The older kids had to learn to cook and all three help with clean ups too. The older kids make grilled cheeses, heat canned goods, make crockpot Mac and cheese, crockpot lasagna, muffins, fried eggs - the easiest stuff. It has taken a big weight off of me to get them to help with at least one meal (sometimes two)on weekdays. My kids do get their own breakfast and lunch and often get the 3 yr old some of whatever they're making. They know how to make oatmeal, eggs, pasta heat stuff up, etc. And they clean up after themselves. I'm not sure what else to change around here, but I'm giving it a lot of thought. The more I read responses and think on it, the more it seems like the problem is just me. I need to get some energy back and I need to streamline some areas of my life more. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
diokos Posted February 1, 2014 Share Posted February 1, 2014 I was really feeling like this recently...well, really all school year. Here are a couple of things that helped me: 1. Take a break from school. We also school year round; a week or so lost is not going to kill anybody. Take the time you need to relook at ways you can adjust your curriculum to make it manageable for this season of your life. 2. Adjust my own expectations. For me, I realized that I was continually feeling stressed out, and that is incredibly wearing emotionally and physically. I was sick with 3 different viruses between Thanksgiving and Christmas...just couldn't seem to get the rest I needed to get fully recuperated and functional again. I finally realized that my stress was because I had all these mental pictures of how perfect our days should look. My children would eagerly look forward to learning, they would all obey completely without whining, my toddler would turn from this terror of a child into a compliant, sweet little boy somehow and our days would be smooth. I'd be able to keep up with housework and get full, homemade, and healthy meals onto the table 3 times a day. After all, that's how homeschooling is supposed to look, right? Well...nope. Not happening here. Ever. I needed to get rid of the mental idea that I could only find joy in those picture perfect moments, and begin to find joy in the messy, chaotic reality that is my life. The 2 year old is going to scream. 500 times a day. School is going to be interruped. The kids are going to whine when I say to do Math. My 6th grader is going to drag her feet and day dream and take 3 hours longer than necessary to get through her work. My 9 yo is going to write like a 1st grader. It's real; and it's okay. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IsabelC Posted February 1, 2014 Share Posted February 1, 2014 Basically, a structured home education program is like a full time job. So you have a full time job, plus you have more housework than a person who works full-time outside the home, because your children are creating mess and chores as they go through their day (I'm not saying your kids are messers, that's just what happens - more work is created the more time family members spend in the house). Those who either don't have a spouse/partner or do more housework than their partner (ie, the majority of women) have extra work again. And that is before you throw a special needs child into the mix. It's quite possible that you are working the equivalent of two full-time jobs or even more. The way to survive is partly reframing (ie, thinking 'yes, I have virtually no life at the moment, but this time with the kids is important to me and it won't last forever') and partly giving yourself some nurturing. You need to have some kid-free time. Not kid-free time as in an hour to pay the bills after they are asleep, but kid-free time as in time to do something for you. Find some time to do photography, if that's what you love. It may not be much time; an hour a day would be great, but even one session a week would help. If your kids can't be left and won't leave you alone for an hour or two, you need somebody else to take over. Do whatever you have to to get this time (even if it requires paying somebody). You said your husband is too busy/stressed to help, but think about it. If you had a life-limiting medical condition and required treatment for a couple of hours per week (eg chemotherapy) I bet he would step up and parent the kids for this time. Never getting any 'you-time' is a mental health emergency, every bit as bad for you as a physical health crisis. It doesn't matter how brilliant your organizing/teaching/domestic goddess skills are, you need some time off duty. You are not the problem. The problem is that you are in an unsustainable situation, and this needs to change. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterPan Posted February 1, 2014 Share Posted February 1, 2014 Also, have you considered sending the 3 y.o. to preschool a couple of mornings per week? Depending on the work schedule, maybe hubby could even drop him off. I did that for a bit when my younger one was four, and we had just started homeschooling my high needs older one. True confession! I send my ds to his grandma's once a week to give me some peace. Don't know what I'd do if I didn't have a grandma figure so close. Hire one? Preschool? Just agreeing that some outsourcing for a bit each week can really help. The dc enjoys the variety. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kbutton Posted February 1, 2014 Share Posted February 1, 2014 You've hit the nail on the head- I need to be more organized about meals and househould stuff. I'm so tired all the time though, that it feels like a huge, insurmountable thing, and it's easier just to stick to my habits, kwim? Even if developing some new habits would save me energy in the long run, it just sounds overwhelming right now. But I will definitely give some thought to small ways I could start working on this. I am coming out the other side of this, and you will too! It's hard, hard, hard sometimes. We still have a long way to go in our house. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thia7278 Posted February 1, 2014 Share Posted February 1, 2014 If you are really low on vitamin d, it could be three of four weeks before you feel a difference. Make sure you're taking between 2,000-5,000 units per day. I too am frequently exhausted. I don't understand how people can take an hour or more in the middle of their day for quiet time and use that time for hobbies/leisure. When does the house get tidied (and I'm not talking deep cleaning)? When do phone calls get made (business/household stuff, not chatting with friends)? When do you shovel snow? When do kids get bathed? When does school get cleaned up and put away for the day? So on and so forth. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AK_Mom4 Posted February 1, 2014 Share Posted February 1, 2014 Hugs, OP! Maybe hire a baby sitter for the three year old one afternoon a week? Especially a Wednesday afternoon? I suggest Wednesday because it gives you two days and then a break. Baby sitters or home day care are usually more willing to work around the potty training thing. Sorry - this sounds like a tough season for sure. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterPan Posted February 2, 2014 Share Posted February 2, 2014 If you are really low on vitamin d, it could be three of four weeks before you feel a difference. Make sure you're taking between 2,000-5,000 units per day. I too am frequently exhausted. I don't understand how people can take an hour or more in the middle of their day for quiet time and use that time for hobbies/leisure. When does the house get tidied (and I'm not talking deep cleaning)? When do phone calls get made (business/household stuff, not chatting with friends)? When do you shovel snow? When do kids get bathed? When does school get cleaned up and put away for the day? So on and so forth. Not a medical expert, but I think it's considered safe to take that to 10K IU. You'll get symptoms if it's too much and back down. The op can research that obviously and decide for herself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christy B Posted February 2, 2014 Share Posted February 2, 2014 I just want to add a word of encouragement -- for those long, hard days when you wonder if it would be so much easier if they were in school: in my experience, anyway, the answer is no. We were just as exhausted with the drop-off, pick-up, homework, go get supplies, figure out lunch, must have clean laundry (well, we try to have clean laundry regardless, but if we stay in our jammies while the load of jeans finish drying, no harm no foul!) . . . it was, truly, equally exhausting. I am thankful that my girls attended traditional school for short periods of time, and realizing that parenting and educating is LONG HARD EXHAUSTING WORK whether homeschooling or traditional schooling was a blessing. It made "embracing the suck" easier. And it does get better, I promise, as they get older. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie Laurie Posted February 3, 2014 Author Share Posted February 3, 2014 I just want to add a word of encouragement -- for those long, hard days when you wonder if it would be so much easier if they were in school: in my experience, anyway, the answer is no. We were just as exhausted with the drop-off, pick-up, homework, go get supplies, figure out lunch, must have clean laundry (well, we try to have clean laundry regardless, but if we stay in our jammies while the load of jeans finish drying, no harm no foul!) . . . it was, truly, equally exhausting. I am thankful that my girls attended traditional school for short periods of time, and realizing that parenting and educating is LONG HARD EXHAUSTING WORK whether homeschooling or traditional schooling was a blessing. It made "embracing the suck" easier. And it does get better, I promise, as they get older. Thanks! I actually don't wish they could go to school, my eldest is 19 and was in public school until 4th grade, I took him out because PS wasn't working for us. I definitely know there's a lot of work involved with the PS side of things too! When he was at this middle school age, my others were young enough to just need to be read to a lot and play some math games. I think it's so exhausting for me right now because I have 3 who are at an intense stage all at once. Of course, check back with me in a few years when I'm teaching my youngest to read while doing high school with the others! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YaelAldrich Posted February 4, 2014 Share Posted February 4, 2014 If your 3yo likes to listen to books, have you tried books on tape/CD or online? My 4yo has a stash of CDs and tapes with and without books to go along with it. he can hole up in his room or in the playroom with the CD player or tape machine and "read" or listen to music while we do school. I also try to read to him or play with him as much as possible, but the aural content really helps! Good luck and commiseration coming your way from another frazzled mom! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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