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What do you do about lying??


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I have all boys, 3,4,7,7. Some days are a challenge with the lies. If 2 or more come in and tell a different story, I put them in time out until I get the truth which usually doesn't take long. I do have one that will hold on forever and sometimes I am not sure if he is confessing just to get out of time out or what. The offender then has to apologize to the others for wasting their time in time out and then they get punished. Yesterday I did this and never was sure who was lying because my 5yo had a meltdown in timeout because he said he was innocent. (He doesn't care how long he stays if HE is the one lying) My 7 yo never would "fess up" and neither would the 5yo. If they would just not lie the punishement would be quick and over and they could go about their business. I am not sure this is a good way to do this but, it has been effective until last night and I still don't know who was lying. It is easy if I know who IS lying but that is not always the case. I also would not like to be attacked about my methods but am curious as to other ways to deal with this. Thank you

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When my boys were that young (and even though, though lying isn't really an issue anymore) if I didn't see something from start to finish and no one confessed, everyone was punished. No tattling after the fact, no arguing with them. It didn't take too long for them to figure it out and come clean n their own.

 

Hang in there, it does get easier.

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If no one owned up to something, I punished them all.

 

They got wise to that and chose a scapegoat to take the blame, taking turns. I overheard this plot.

 

This was not what I meant by cooperation. After that, they all just stayed punished no matter who admitted to what -- unless they could prove guilt beyond a reasonable doubt.

 

My kids have been very vocal about how unfair this is, but I disagree. I didn't start the lies and I didn't come up with the plan to avoid punishment.

 

It's not much of a problem now that they are older.

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nothing that I think is worth lying about but, they keep on.

who left the toilet seat up

who left the bike out

who hit who

who threw what

you name it!!! The 3yo is trying to perfect the art this week. ARGHHH

He lies about lying. I keep talking to him to make sure he is understanding what lying means. Sometimes I'm not sure. Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't make a deal out of it ,but I feel any lie is wrong and want them to not lie at all.

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