elfgivas Posted January 17, 2014 Share Posted January 17, 2014 update: she placed second! she played beautifully up until the end, when she inexplicably jumped ahead a bar, so her accompanist stopped playing. She finished well, though. When she got home, she was sure she hadn't placed at all, and i was so impressed with how she was handling it . I cried in the shower so as not to burden her with it all, as it was my deep sadness for her and all the work she had put in. competitions are like that and i know that. then the phone rang, and they told her she had placed second. One of her friends placed first, so there is happiness in the land. this was the original post: i am so angry i could spit, which makes me not the best judge of how to proceed. tomorrow is a music competition. dd has not yet been given her competition time. she meets with her accompanist in an hour. 1. the organizer is also the primary judge. 2. he did this last year, too. 3. i called on wednesday and left a message on his work phone. he called back that evening and left a message saying that he didn't have her application but did have her cheque and other info. he asked me to forward her confirmation email, which i did. this happened last year, too. 4. did i mention the competition is tomorrow? 5. she has practiced for months, and actually has a shot of winning this.... provided i don't muck it up by saying what i think. i'm not a yeller or a screamer, but i am very, very, very clear. this is about incompetence or abuse of power, or both. i do appreciate that funding cuts of educational institutions has had a significant impact, but this isn't what this feels like. help? ann Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest submarines Posted January 17, 2014 Share Posted January 17, 2014 I don't have any specific ideas, but I think that if you assume incompetence on the part of the organizer you will feel better and will be able to communicate with him in a more productive way. Think of him as a chronically disorganized person whose heart is in the right place--many creative people are like this. If it wasn't for him, there wouldn't be a competition at all. This, of course, might not be true, but adopting this attitude might help, especially if there's a modicum of truth to it. I hope you work it out. Good luck to your DD. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kim in Appalachia Posted January 17, 2014 Share Posted January 17, 2014 :grouphug: I would keep calling and keep sending emails, and print out the emails in order to have some proof. Also, is there someone else you can contact? Another judge? Or someone else with the program? It does sound like incompetence, which just stinks. For future reference, have the application sent with confirmation (from the post office), and keep detailed notes of all contact. I hope it all works out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wilma Posted January 17, 2014 Share Posted January 17, 2014 Maybe a "Hi, Mr. Organizer -- we're really needing to nail down the schedule for tomorrow, both for my family and Suzy's accompanist. Will you please call me at (xxx) xxx-xxxx as soon as possible with Suzy's performance time? She's really looking forward to playing tomorrow!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angie in VA Posted January 17, 2014 Share Posted January 17, 2014 Can you contact other judges or is this judge the the coordinator for the event? If so, someone else should be the coordinator! ITA w/ keep calling and asking what time, I mean, they're messing up your accompanist too. Suck it up and go. Explain and apologize to your accompanist, Your accompanist may have some pull or know someone who does or know another judge who needs to hear about this treatment. Go, smile and file this along w/ things we do for our dc. Be early. Have snacks and water. Have her eat a good protein meal about 3 hours before her time slot and a banana an hour before she performs should you ever learn that in time to apply that, and have her wear low heels/flats if her instrument is on her shoulder or a flute. No swaying w/ nerves, not that she has them. If she or other of your dc compete in the future, make copies of the application and check before you send it it, and then print off from your bank the copy of the check once cleared, and keep copies, including the confirmation email (print it off). Also, if the app and check are mailed in, mail them return-receipt w/ the little green card on the back so you have proof AND copies at the ready. What a twerp that guy is! Praying she does her best! (And wins!) Please update us, OK? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elfgivas Posted January 17, 2014 Author Share Posted January 17, 2014 update: accompanist told us the other two people who usually work with him on this have chosen not to do it this year. this is a chronic problem. her music teacher has contacted him. we are still waiting. re applications. we kept copies of the online stuff, and have delivery confirmation on the mailed stuff. he said he couldn't find the online stuff. next year, if i am crazy enough to agree to this (it is the ony game in town, so its likely i will be crazy enough), i will send a copy of the online stuff with the mailed stuff. meanwhile, i am about to call him. heaven help us both. ann ps. i am going to talk about the accompanist needing to know for rearranging her students, which will hopefully keep me from saying other things. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted January 17, 2014 Share Posted January 17, 2014 I am so sorry and do not have a lot of advice other than to try to breathe slowly and keep trying to weadle the information out of him. I hope you accompanist is able to be flexible. To be honest, when I had my music studio going full throttle, I did so much accompanying for Lutheran Music Festival, scholarship competitions at about nine different colleges and universities, Solo and Ensemble, Choir Festival, etc. that with less than 24 hrs. to go before the competition, this would have been a disaster for me. I really hope this will work out for you and your accompanist can make the assigned time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elfgivas Posted January 17, 2014 Author Share Posted January 17, 2014 @faithmanor it is a disaster for her accompanist, who is the best in our area, but she is very professional and she and dd do well together, so currently she is willing to do whatever it takes. dd is the only one she agreed to play for this year. what i am afraid of is that the odds of her agreeing another year are becoming slimmer by the hour, which is sad. he didn't answer his phone, so i left a very pleasant message. sigh.... ann Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted January 17, 2014 Share Posted January 17, 2014 I think you need to go outside of your area for next year's competition. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amy in NH Posted January 17, 2014 Share Posted January 17, 2014 I think you could offer to help organize next year's competition. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twigs Posted January 17, 2014 Share Posted January 17, 2014 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Best wishes for you and your daughter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted January 17, 2014 Share Posted January 17, 2014 Oh, I TOTALLY feel for you! And what can you do? You either don't compete or you find a way to be zen enough to show up and not get your child wound up about it. This seems not uncommon in our experience for small groups or non-profits running stuff. Especially, volunteer run stuff. Last year my oldest prepped a 9 page Mozart piano sonata for an all instrument scholarship competition that is advertised among classical circles. He had won one of their scholarships the previous year. Well, last spring he got to the competition and all they had in the room was an ELECTRIC piano. Maybe that seems like no big deal for some people, but for a classically trained kid that just practices on an acoustic, it's a HUGE deal. Had we known, we would have practiced on an electric (we have one for travel) and probably picked an entirely different piece. Now we have to decide if it's worth showing up for that one again this year. Kid played on a junky acoustic the year before. For the record, no pianists that competed in the room with the electric piano won a scholarship. They all went other instruments last year. Anyway, I hope you get word very soon and it goes well for your dd! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flyingiguana Posted January 17, 2014 Share Posted January 17, 2014 My daughter won't even do competitions anymore. Pianos aren't tuned. Judges get swapped out and then don't hear everyone (although they do end up picking the winner). Winners don't always seem to be, um, how do I put this nicely -- musical? Added on to the usual sorts of things like you're describing -- things lost, times not given, etc -- she's decided it's not really worth it. It was never her idea to do them anyway -- her teachers have always been boosters of these things. They talk about it as a "performance opportunity". It's not, really. Performance is a different thing. If that's what teachers want, they should try to get real performance opportunities for their students. My daughter would prefer not to do them at all, as it's taking a fun thing (performing) and turning it into a competitive nightmare with a lot of kids running around sweating and worrying. She did do a college audition a couple months ago. That was pulled together and pleasant -- even though the word around the college was that they didn't really have themselves organized. (And she got a scholarship... and a lot of nice compliments. And an invitation to perform. And now the faculty there know who she is.) She got basically nothing out of the competitions but some "comments" form letters saying things that weren't even appropriate to her playing. But, you know, it's not a bad thing to do one or two and see how they go. Just, if they don't go so well, take the attitude that it wasn't your or your kid's fault. Cause a lot of them are a little on the weird side. (I suspect there may be some good ones out there, but we didn't care anymore to bother to find them.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elfgivas Posted January 17, 2014 Author Share Posted January 17, 2014 we.., its almost noon, and we still haven't heard. its helped me to hear that this is not a unique experience, but it makes me sad, too. we adults let kids down in so very many ways. i'm working on the zen approach so i don't add to dds angst. we see her teacher in 2 hours. let's hope someone does something before then. ann Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elfgivas Posted January 18, 2014 Author Share Posted January 18, 2014 update: we have a time! :) in the end, the accompanist called him, which apparently is what did it. it turns out we were far from the only ones who didn't know. now to just refocus and be calm, pleasant and ready! ann Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted January 18, 2014 Share Posted January 18, 2014 I'm glad you have a time and your accompanist managed to drag it out of him. I HIGHLY recommend that you not participate in this fiasco next year. That's an awful lot of angst! Faith Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elfgivas Posted January 18, 2014 Author Share Posted January 18, 2014 I think you could offer to help organize next year's competition. :) that was my first thought too. when i mentioned it to both the teacher and the accompanist, the reaction was identical. "stay away" "don't get involved" there are discussions underway of driving next year for a different experience. thanks everyone, i got thru today with only one major crying jag. ann Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angie in VA Posted January 18, 2014 Share Posted January 18, 2014 update: we have a time! :) in the end, the accompanist called him, which apparently is what did it. it turns out we were far from the only ones who didn't know. now to just refocus and be calm, pleasant and ready! ann Yay! I thought the accompanist could help. Yes, smile and clap. Smile and clap. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elfgivas Posted January 18, 2014 Author Share Posted January 18, 2014 thanks everyone! its over. she placed second. it comes with prize money. she skipped a bar right near the end, and so didn't think she had placed at all. she said up until then that it was a first place performance. given that, this is the best possible outcome. and her friend placed first, so its good :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lawana Posted January 19, 2014 Share Posted January 19, 2014 Congratulations! I would have loved to have heard her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twigs Posted January 19, 2014 Share Posted January 19, 2014 Thanks for the update! :party: :party: :party: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angie in VA Posted January 21, 2014 Share Posted January 21, 2014 Yay!!! The competition we went to Sat (as cheerleaders for our friends) announced the winners that night after an intermission when the judges' scores were totalled. What instrument does your dd play? I'm so proud of her. Congrats!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted January 21, 2014 Share Posted January 21, 2014 That's wonderful! Congratulations! :) We'd love an audio file ... hint hint ... :D And I know how important scholarship money can be to keeping a young musician in lessons. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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