JumpyTheFrog Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 My seven-year-old yelled this at me in the car tonight. He's been awful all week, yelling, even hitting and kicking me. I could use some virtual hugs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Χά�ων Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dana Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 :grouphug: I'm sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AimeeM Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 I'm sorry :( If it makes you feel better, my parents now laugh and tease us (adult) kids about the mean, but somehow amusing, things we said as children. My grandfather taught me to say "sh*t head's home!" whenever my father came in from work. Fun times. *hugs* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tmhearn Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 I'm sorry, but that totally made me laugh. I'm sure you didn't find it nearly as funny, though. :-( My problem is that when my kid does something like that, I picture him in 20 years yelling it at his boss. Then I feel like a total failure. If you're not the catastophizing type, you're probably better off. ;-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JumpyTheFrog Posted January 9, 2014 Author Share Posted January 9, 2014 I try to comfort myself by saying that he won't have anything new to say as a teenager. He's started in with the "I hate you" already. Also, he's threatened to run away so many times that it's getting boring to listen to. Monday he packed several bags and claimed he and his younger brother were going to move into the woods next to the house. I said that I only feed members of the house and therefore he'd have to return all the food he packed (canned beans) and anything else that belongs to me (can opener, silverware, strainer). That really took the wind out of his sails. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T'smom Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 Hugs. I'm sorry. I know I don't know you personally, but I am willing to bet that you are not a dumb head. ETA: my son has been telling me he hates me since he was three. It was not behavior that was modeled for him, so I don't know where he got it. Sometimes friends with teenagers talk about how their kid said they hated them for the first time and it was so devastating.....uh, my 3 yo said that! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JumpyTheFrog Posted January 9, 2014 Author Share Posted January 9, 2014 On a lighter note, is "dumbhead" one word or two? My tendency is to form new compound words, so if I think about it too much, I second guess myself and get all confused. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ondreeuh Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 I have one of those too. I've been told a few times today that he hates me, he wants to run away, I'm the meanest mom in the world, I never play with him, etc. I wisely kept him home from school today because he was pretty much up since 3 am and I knew he would be an emotional mess. He's already had an Epsom salt bath and I'm about to feed him his 12th meal and put him to bed. In between he's told me he loves me with all his heart, I am the sweetest, etc. I told him I'm not sure I can believe him if he also tells me he hates me. :( Let us both hope that tomorrow is better! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JumpyTheFrog Posted January 9, 2014 Author Share Posted January 9, 2014 I know I don't know you personally, but I am willing to bet that you are not a dumb head. Even if I plan to open a bank account for you and put your money in the bank so you don't waste it all on chips? That's what started all this. Him: I want an iPhone....blah blah blah...but you never let me save for one! Me: Why do you want one? Him: explains he wants to listen to audio books and play games Me: explain that I know how much money I owe him for some work and that we're going to open him a bank account to keep it in so he doesn't waste it all on snacks at gymnastics Him: Starts calling me a thief (maybe a liar, too, can't remember) and then descends to calling me a "dumb head" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twigs Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snow Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 Sorry Hoppy. It's hard having a challenging kid. Stay strong. I find it helps to look at baby pictures and videos - reminds me of who he really is underneath the issues on the surface. Hope you find some answers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aggie96 Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 My oldest (now 8.5) launched all this at me around age 7, also. I was so upset that it landed her in PS for 2nd grade (among other reasons, but this one factored in heavily). Now, on the other side of our awful 7-year-old year, I over reacted to her over reacting. :) Go figure. :glare: It really stinks going through it. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QuirkyKapers Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KungFuPanda Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 When my daughter was three she once old me to "Put your ugly face away from me!" She's almost 17 and has yet to live that one down :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmyontheFarm Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 When my one daughter threatened to run away from home, I opened the front door and ushered her out the door. She was 7. I explained that she could only leave with the clothes on her back and that the police station was up the road that way, they be happy to help her find a new home. I told her she was welcome to come back home any time, but she was never going to threaten to run away again if she did. She was shocked, yelled at me that I was mean and horrid. I agreed. Then I shut the door and walked away. I went to the bedroom by the front porch and cracked open the window so I could hear her crying and keep an eye on her. She cried on the front porch for awhile and then rang the door bell. I answered it and she politely asked if she could come home and live with me again. I dropped to my knees and opened my arms and told her sure, I would love that! She came into my arms and we cried together. She never threatened to do it again. When the next child decided they were going to run away, she took them aside really quick and told them that it wasn't worth it, and why. In her mind, I left her on the porch for days. Now, as an adult, she realized it was less than 1/2 hour. It was a calculated risk, but with this child it worked. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 My dh, who has a huge hand.......put his flat hand up to my 9 yo niece's face one time....just playing with her. She pushed it aside and said, "get your big ol' hand outta my face." It is a catch phrase for our family now. Sorry for your mouthy child...... :(. (((Hugs))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinder Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 My ds1 was a challenging child too. He's so much easier now that he's 19 but the change didn't even start until he was 16-17yo. He's another that around 7-8yo claimed he was going to run away. I looked him in the eye and said, "Don't you threaten me that way. You will *not* run away!" He was so startled by my response he never tried it again. I think he was kind of expecting me to let him go. :grouphug: Hugs to you, Hoppy. BTW I think dumbhead is one word. When I was a kid we called each other Stupidhead, and I'm sure that was one word. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JumpyTheFrog Posted January 9, 2014 Author Share Posted January 9, 2014 It sounds like age 7 is a common age to threaten to run away? Do the threats eventually stop, at least until the teenage years? Sometimes I'm convinced my friendly, happy 4 year old's purpose in life is to remind us that we can't be total screw-ups as parents Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chelle in MO Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 Lots of hugs from me, Hoppy. I've been there with my boys. When one ds was 3 yo I sent him to his room to settle down from being a stinker. He got as far as his doorway, turned around and said, "You widiot!" When I didn't reply, he yelled, "I SAID, YOU WIDIOT!!!" His pronunciation of idiot, along with his feeble attempt to insult me, were pretty amusing. He hasn't lived that one down. But when they get older, similar words sure sting. Be strong, mama. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kitten18 Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 Someday you will laugh about this. Not today, but someday. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinder Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 Sometimes I'm convinced my friendly, happy 4 year old's purpose in life is to remind us that we can't be total screw-ups as parents My younger ds is also 3 years younger and was such a peaceful and happy kid. Now that he's a teen, whenever he gives me grief I like to remind him that he used to be such a nice boy. :p Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 I try to comfort myself by saying that he won't have anything new to say as a teenager. He's started in with the "I hate you" already. Also, he's threatened to run away so many times that it's getting boring to listen to. Monday he packed several bags and claimed he and his younger brother were going to move into the woods next to the house. I said that I only feed members of the house and therefore he'd have to return all the food he packed (canned beans) and anything else that belongs to me (can opener, silverware, strainer). That really took the wind out of his sails. :grouphug: It is pretty normal behavior for a 7 year old to attempt to run away. My Mum had 8 children, she was concerned when I ran away at 7. . she actually ran down the street after me. But she must have done some research or something into child behaviour as when my younger siblings tried she gave an answer very similar to what you do\id to your son. it stopped them in their tracks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 I am sorry. It did make me chuckle though. Soon after we adopted my son, and while he was still learning English, he used to get mad at his brothers and call them "STOOBY HEAD!" He couldn't quite say the word stupid yet. Then he would get SO MAD because we found it so cute and funny and would laugh. :ohmy: Poor kid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joyofsixreboot Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 Hugs. I tend to answer " I don't like you much right now either." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 :grouphug: No advice, just lots of :grouphug: . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Live2Ride Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 Hugs to you Hoppy! I feel your frustration...having a 16 yr old spit vile things at me for the last week, has me wanting to pack my horses and I and just skip town for a while...go camp in the wilderness somewhere and ride. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Lulu* Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 Around age 7 was when Punk started the running away talk as well. After months of trying different methods for dealing with it, I had enough. I told him I was not going to be constantly threatened with his emotional blackmail. That he has a good home and there are plenty of people who have none. From that day on the consequence for threatening to run away or move out prior to age 18, (including packing your bags and setting them by the door as a non verbal communication of your intentions), results in every dime you have to your name being spent on supplies for the homeless camps our church works with. It has happened a few times since this policy was put in place, but only a few times and the incidents have gotten very far apart. (((Hugs))) to you. I hope you find something that works and an extra measure of patience with yourself and your son in the meantime! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aspasia Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 My kids' favorite thing to say to me when they're mad is, "I'm not making ANYTHING for you!" Apparently they think their little pictures and crafts are the ultimate currency. I mean, I do treasure their little creations, but this always makes me giggle a little bit after they stomp out of the room. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laurie4b Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 I try to comfort myself by saying that he won't have anything new to say as a teenager. He's started in with the "I hate you" already. Also, he's threatened to run away so many times that it's getting boring to listen to. Monday he packed several bags and claimed he and his younger brother were going to move into the woods next to the house. I said that I only feed members of the house and therefore he'd have to return all the food he packed (canned beans) and anything else that belongs to me (can opener, silverware, strainer). That really took the wind out of his sails. False comfort there! They get more articulate, more sophisticated at discerning what will have enough truth in it to make you second-guess yourself, and then, too, there will be things that they say in anger that you realize actually are true. Ouch! So stick to your boredom and humor in this phase, and be prepared for new levels of sophistication in the teen years! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applethyme Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jelbe5 Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 I think my eldest was 6 or 7 when she threatened to run away. I did the same thing as AmyOnTheFarm. Calculated risk but worked. I've also had "I hate you" said to me by the eldest and the son. It is hard not to take it personally. I'm sorry you have to deal with challenging behavior. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenn- Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 My DD threw the running away bit at me several times. The moms up thread are nice. I told my DD she was welcome to leave but she wasn't taking anything of mine with her which included the clothing on her back so she was going to have to run away naked. That usually dissolved into I hate you and storming off. I am not/was not above using sentence writing as punishment so those temper tantrums turned into sentences of "I love my mom." down the front and back of the page. I remember how hard it was not to react like I really cared about what she said to me and just dole out the punishment as needed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dory Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 None of my kids have threatened running away yet, but I did at that age. My mom hugged me goodbye and my one brother sat at the window and sobbed. I only made it a couple blocks because at that age, I wasn't sure where to go after that so I played in the park for a bit and went back home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovinmomma Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 When my one daughter threatened to run away from home, I opened the front door and ushered her out the door. She was 7. I explained that she could only leave with the clothes on her back and that the police station was up the road that way, they be happy to help her find a new home. I told her she was welcome to come back home any time, but she was never going to threaten to run away again if she did. She was shocked, yelled at me that I was mean and horrid. I agreed. Then I shut the door and walked away. I went to the bedroom by the front porch and cracked open the window so I could hear her crying and keep an eye on her. She cried on the front porch for awhile and then rang the door bell. I answered it and she politely asked if she could come home and live with me again. I dropped to my knees and opened my arms and told her sure, I would love that! She came into my arms and we cried together. She never threatened to do it again. When the next child decided they were going to run away, she took them aside really quick and told them that it wasn't worth it, and why. In her mind, I left her on the porch for days. Now, as an adult, she realized it was less than 1/2 hour. It was a calculated risk, but with this child it worked. I did **almost** the same thing with my son. He was only 3. He packed a bag. I gave him a kiss and said bye. He got out the front door and stood there for a few minutes, and then promptly started crying. I gave him a couple minutes of freaking out before I opened up the door to let it sink in. :) Now that he's 8, he laughs about it and says "remember that one time that you let me run away". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JumpyTheFrog Posted January 10, 2014 Author Share Posted January 10, 2014 Today DH got called a "stupid dumbhead." I guess merely being a dumbhead is better than that! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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