Hope chest

[wingedradical]

For Christmas, our fd requested several decor items for her bedroom. While looking for those, I came upon a white raton-type chest that would look good in her room. I haven't bought it yet, but plan to. This made me think of hope chests.

 

Now, understand, I'm a fairly modern woman (even if I'm 61) and the traditional idea of a hope chest does not appeal. I don't want her whole life to center around finding a man to marry and keeping a home. Maybe she won't marry. Maybe her hopes will be professional. I'm fine with that. God has a plan, probably multiple plans, for her life. Plus, the traditional hope chest doesn't work as well now days because technology and decor standards change so much.

 

But, it occurred to me that since she is a girl (16 yrs old) who didn't have much hope in the past (several suicide attempts before coming here) and who still struggles some with feeling like she can't succeed, that a sort of hope chest might be good for her. As I thought about it, I decided that maybe I could call it a "Hopes & Memories" chest - it could include valued momentos and things pertaining to her hopes and dreams.

 

So, I've been trying to think of things we might include and thought some of you might have have some good suggestions.

 

Here is what I've thought of so far:

 

Baptism certificate

Photos - people, pets, homes, and places visited

Family tree or maybe a family bible with that info in it

School essays that mean a lot to her

A letter to herself about what kind of mother she'd like to be (for if she becomes a mother)

A letter to herself on what qualities in a husband (if she gets married)

Information about academic and professional goals she thinks she might like

Knitting/crocheting projects

Quilting project

Favorite books to save for children (or self - I still read My Side of the Mountain every few years, and I first read it in 3rd grade, 1961!)

 

Other suggestions?

 

 

 

 

 

[KarenNC]

If you celebrate Christmas, start an ornament collection.

 

A cookbook of her favorite family recipes.

 

Since photos are usually digital now, you may want to consider putting together photo books with various themes (by year, event, family, etc). We just did this through Walmart for my inlaws and got a very nice aobut 8 1/2 x 11 20 page linen hardbound book (which included options for text and several photos per page), and came with a 5x7 soft cover copy for about $20. I think something like this is preferable to loose prints and was very easy to do.

[Carol in Cal.]

A letter from you, maybe annually, describing what you admire about her and what progress she has made that year.  And how much you love her.

[bettyandbob]

Many of the things that go in a traditional hope chest are things you need for your own home whether or not a person marries. I don't see a reason to not to collect these items. It's just the intent would be "for your own home one day" and not "for your husband's home one day."

 

My aunt (single and financially successful), gave my brother, sister and I each a large Persian rug of our choosing from her favorite merchant. My mom thought I should save it (in mom's house) until after I got married. I had no boyfriend so I took it to my apartment. At the time my sister and brother were already married so it wasn't like the rugs were wedding presents. I felt like my mom had some outdated thinking. I didn't think I should wait for a man to enjoy something nice. I had an apartment and I needed to furnish it, I needed, sheets, towels, dishes, pots, etc. 

 

By the time I got married my aunt was seriously impaired by mental illness (pretty scary to watch an impressively intelligent woman I admired destroyed this way). I am glad I enjoyed the rug while I could still tell her how much I liked using it. 

 

Obviously you aren't going to put a large Persian rug in a hope chest, but there's no reason to think a hope chest is limited to stuff for a marital home. 

 

I do like your redefinition of including important momentos.

 

 

[Ottakee]

What a great idea---esp. for a foster child who had a troubled past. They need hope for a future and a different life than they came from.

 

If she has any significant others from her life before she came to you that are positive role models maybe they could each write a letter to here for encouragement. Any pictures of her as a baby or growing up would be nice as well.

[OrganicAnn]

I don't think you have to limit what you put into a hope chest.    In the past, girls would make things for their future home.    You (and she) can still do that.    You can work on memory projects (pictures and scrapbooks) or craft projects together.   

 

I also like the idea of collecting ornaments or other keepsakes.   

 

I would let you FD take the lead about what types of things she wants, but if you want to give her something else tell her why you want to give it to her. 

 

 

[Ripley]

I have a small little chest that I've had since I was 8. I called it my treasure chest. :) I put in it a lot of what you've already suggested. I also kept cards or notes from friends and family.  I had concert and movie ticket stubs, too. And I had a small album to which I added my annual school picture every year. It's both fun and mortifying to flip through that. I kept adding a picture to represent each year until I had my second kid - I got too distracted at that point. I open my chest 1-2 a year, usually during emotional times, and the album is one of my kids' favorite things to see. It's really the only thing I let them see from it, I feel strongly that my treasure chest is ... like my little secret, or the one thing that's all mine.

 

I kept a journal during my high school years. When I was packing up to move to college, I ripped out a few of the more important pages to pack into my treasure box. They were pretty dark, but when I flip back through them now it's so healing. It reminds me how far I've come, or if I'm in a bad place it reminds me that I can (will) bounce back from it. I like the idea upthread of you writing a letter 1-2 times a year to kind of journal her from your POV. She might even write a short note to herself every birthday or something, to reflect upon later.

 

I know tastes and décor change, but it's also nice to have a few things in there - maybe an apron or cloth napkins that, if aren't to her taste later can at least serve as a reminder of what her tastes once were. She can donate them later if she chooses, but when she does move out it might be a fun lighthearted moment to re-live her past tastes. Moving out was hard and bittersweet for me; I appreciated having some unexpected laughs as I unpacked the hope chest my aunt presented me when I moved out. She had been collecting stuff my entire childhood, things I LOVED. I got rid of half of it, but it was a great trip down memory lane - tea cups, napkins, etc.

 

And this guy didn't fit into my treasure box, but I still have my favorite stuffed animal. It's older than half of my siblings, and looks it. Probably smells it, too. LOL If she has any special items from years past, that maybe she's outgrown or feels to old to display now ... the chest would be a great place for those.

 

The idea for a quilting project is great! I'm working on a project for my brother. He has always been a big concert goer. He has tons of tees, half of them too disgusting to wear (not that this stops him). I'm cutting up the squares now to sew a quilt of concert tees. I wish we had been doing this all along, saving a few squares a year as his shirts got holey.

 

 

[KungFuPanda]

I think it's nice and could be a positive in her life. Saying things like "You'll need this in college" or "You'll need this when you have your own home" could help her visualize the things really happening to her.

[kbutton]

Wonderful ideas...I like the idea of letting her choose some things as well. I wouldn't feel like you have to fill it, but I like that you want to give her things that make her feel important. You could start her off, and then you could help her choose some things she might like to put in with room for many years of memories or collecting things for it. If you have small family heirlooms that you are comfortable passing on, even small things like pillow cases, a doily, a hanky, etc., that might be nice. I love having little things that are from people who've gone before (like my great-grandfather's fishing license, a tatting shuttle of my grandmother's, etc.). My mom bought me a wallet, and she put a $2 bill in it that she had kept tucked in her wallet for many years. It wasn't for luck, just for fun.

[Baseball mom]

I had a hope chest and didn't think of it as for when I got married but when I moved out on my own.