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Urgent Prayer Request for DS


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Blessed be the name of the Lord!!!! I am not familiar with your story, just read only your last update. I am sure your son is one more beautiful angel, one more beautiful soul in Heaven. Prayers and many blessings for you this Mother's day!!!

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 "God's ways and God's thoughts are higher than ours.  (Isaiah 55:9)  While I have my own private ideas as to why God may have chosen this route, He nonetheless did not simply “take†ds’ life, but rather, gave him life abundant and life eternal.  Ds is now more alive than any of us living on this earth could ever hope to be – for real life, real living, is to be with Jesus.  We reckon life backwards here on earth.  From the moment we are conceived, we are dying; but, for those who die, having lived this earthly life for Christ, their lives begin and never die."


This is so beautiful. Thank you for sharing so much with us - your son's story has touched me deeply. 

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Yes. Prayers. :grouphug:





Possibly the (controversial) book by Samuel Milham MD about the link between electricity and various conditions including Leukemia might be helpful--if it is a factor in his case, getting him away from such stuff might help. I think it is one of the conditions that Old Order Amish have none of according to the Milham research.


How old is he?



One of the places I moonlight as a paramedic has a large concentration of Old Order Amish and old order Mennonite, both non electricity users. I am in and out of the hospitals as well so I become familiar with local health histories. They very much have the same rates of childhood cancers, adult cancers, diabetes and cardiovascular diseases as the general population. I would seriously question the validity of this research.

(I know this is an old thread but I didn't want someone who had just found it looking for specific information to be unaware either that this research is probably not valid)

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Thank you for this update, for communicating with us and taking the time to type out these thoughts. The Lord God is most certainly wringing beauty from ashes, Psalm 61. I have been thinking of you, particularly this past week. What a gift your son is to you, both in his presence with you and in his continued presence with the Lord. May his life continue to give testimony. And mama, your tears are jewels, He sees every one.


(((many tender hugs))) to you on this Mother's Day.

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Eaglei, thank you for the update. Your faith and graciousness astound me. Your son is surely so proud of you. One day, you will surely hear, "Well done, good and faithful servant." Peace to you.

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  • 2 years later...

Update – June 17, 2018

Don’t know if anyone on here remembers me anymore – but I sure do remember you and still thank God for you!

Have thought often of updating, but that’s as far as it went.  Today seems like the right time, and the rest of me is actually cooperating!

It is hard to imagine that June 25 will mark three years since ds’ Homegoing.  Hardly seems possible. I miss him so much.  The pain and the grief are still there – but – Jesus is still here, too – and He makes all the difference.  I am doing remarkably well thanks to God’s grace, and the peace and the hope we have in Him; and, due to the word of ds’ ongoing testimony and my testimony, just as Revelation 12:10-11 says:  And I heard a loud voice saying in heaven, Now is come salvation, and strength, and the kingdom of our God, and the power of his Christ:  for the accuser of our brethren is cast down, which accused them before our God day and night.  And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death.

I choose to focus on the good memories; on where he is now and how incredibly, joyously happy he is; on the fact of that blessed hope that I will see him again; and, on all the good he is yet doing in touching lives for Jesus.

The stories keep coming to me from people who are encouraged through their struggles and hard times by remembering what ds went through, and that he never lost his faith, never gave up, held on to Jesus right on through that instant when Jesus took him Home to be with Him forever.

I personally know of three people who have come to know Jesus as their Saviour and Lord of their lives through my son’s death and the life he consistently lived.  One was an elderly man, formerly an atheist who, by the time I met him, was an avowed agnostic.  To make a long story short, BECAUSE my son died, this man began thinking about Jesus in a whole new way.  One DAY before he died, he accepted Jesus’ finished work on the cross, repented of his sins, and received Jesus as Saviour of his soul.  Now he rejoices on streets of gold along with my son.

I would never have given my son for ANY one, but he wasn’t mine to give.  He belonged to Jesus.  Even this great grief Jesus has used so that He may be honored and glorified and lifted up that others may see and receive – as this man did.

Some people have asked me if I have dreamed of ds or seen him in a vision.  The answer is no.  While I would be glad for that, whether it ever happens is up to God.  I don’t ask for it, seek for it, or look for it.  However, I have once heard ds speak to me out loud and very plainly.  I have also heard him speak to me, inside of me, several times – always very relevant, very unexpected, and very real.

As I’ve written before, ds planned to live.  However, he also made plans just-in-case that wasn’t God’s plan.  After he died, we learned several things he had shared with our pastor that were no longer confidential.  I’ll relate just a couple here. 

He had asked our pastor to preach a specific scripture and message for Easter.  It was this:

Romans 6:5-11

5 For if we have been planted together in the likeness of his death, we shall be also in the likeness of his resurrection: 

6 Knowing this, that our old man is crucified with him, that the body of sin might be destroyed, that henceforth we should not serve sin. 

7 For he that is dead is freed from sin. 

8 Now if we be dead with Christ, we believe that we shall also live with him: 

9 Knowing that Christ being raised from the dead dieth no more; death hath no more dominion over him. 

10 For in that he died, he died unto sin once: but in that he liveth, he liveth unto God. 

11 Likewise reckon ye also yourselves to be dead indeed unto sin, but alive unto God through Jesus Christ our Lord.  

I was in tears for most of the message and didn’t get as many notes as I would have liked.  Some of the thoughts ds wanted mentioned were the need to conform to Christ, His Word, His way, His will. The need to be transformed and how that transformation leads to BEing with Christ.  How Christ wept for humanity because He desired that none be lost, though some would not receive His finished work. The need for yourself to guard your heart, mind, ears, eyes, even your nose if necessary.  Also asking God to guard your life and you'll be amazed at what God will do.  

The preacher gave some examples of things about ds and said that ds loved Jesus because Jesus was everything to him; that he could talk for hours about Christ His Saviour, all that God did for him and meant to him; that Jesus meant everything to ds.

He also asked our pastor to preach a specific message on the one year anniversary of his death IF he didn’t make it.  The passage:

1 Corinthians 9:19-27

19 For though I be free from all men, yet have I made myself servant unto all, that I might gain the more.

20 And unto the Jews I became as a Jew, that I might gain the Jews; to them that are under the law, as under the law, that I might gain them that are under the   law;

21 To them that are without law, as without law, (being not without law to God, but under the law to Christ,) that I might gain them that are without law.

22 To the weak became I as weak, that I might gain the weak: I am made all things to all men, that I might by all means save some.

23 And this I do for the gospel's sake, that I might be partaker thereof with you.

24 Know ye not that they which run in a race run all, but one receiveth the prize? So run, that ye may obtain.

25 And every man that striveth for the mastery is temperate in all things. Now they do it to obtain a corruptible crown; but we an incorruptible.

26 I therefore so run, not as uncertainly; so fight I, not as one that beateth the air:

27 But I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection: lest that by any means, when I have preached to others, I myself should be a castaway.

And, he asked our pastor, if he didn’t make it, to “please preach a message of comfort on Mother’s Day for my mom.”  Indeed, on that first Mother’s Day the preacher did just that.  However, in his pre-sermon remarks, I learned that ds had also left a poem for me.  In it, he expressed his love for me, reminded me that we would meet again, and expressed the confidence that whatever happens, it is God’s will.

For Father’s day, we learned that he had left a poem for his dad.  Whereas mine was quite easy to understand, his dad’s is a riddle!  And we STILL haven’t figured it out!  Whereas ds’ poem to me makes me cry more often than not, his poem to his dad makes me laugh!  From a young age he loved putting together scavenger hunts for us with the most erudite clues that often necessitated his help in deciphering and that made total sense.  I can just imagine him up There saying, “C’mon, Mom and Dad.  It’s not that hard!”

There are so many stories – wonderful stories – from these almost three years.  That doesn’t mean I don’t grieve or don’t miss him.  I do – very much. 

I have yet to do anything major with his room and his belongings.  I am just recently beginning to think that it’s getting time to start parting with things and repurposing his room.  Easier said than done.  I feel like he wants me to – has wanted me to for a while.  I’m not quite ready.  But closer. 

To that end, I have slowly begun to sort a few things in his room.  Just a few things.  Small steps.  Every time we work in there, I find something that just amazes me all over again about ds.  The small steps may begin to increase a bit.  I have mentioned to the Lord countless times that I know I need to repurpose his room, but it is just so hard.  I’ve pleaded for His help.  I’ve had a sense of ds gently urging me to do this for quite some time now, complete with some general directions.  I could also tell myself some very pertinent reasons why I should.  But I couldn’t.  This last time I talked to the Lord about it, He answered.  It’s always His timing, and His timing is always right.  He spoke a scripture in my heart:  “Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal:  but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal:  for where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.”  (Matthew 6:19-21)  Indeed, my heart is in heaven.  There Jesus is and there my son is.  So it’s time to gear up a bit more in clearing ds’ room.

Speaking of God’s timing, that is another area of reflection for me.  So often I hear myself again reiterating to my own heart that God is perfect and He does all things well all of the time.  Not some things.  Not all things some of the time.  ALL things ALL of the time.  A very hard truth.

I still cry a lot, privately.  Sometimes heart wrenching sobbing.  The smallest thing can start those tears while something seemingly huge may not.  I will never stop missing my son.  He is a part of me wherever I go, whatever I am doing.  I see him around the house and yard.  I see him when I am traveling to and from work, or doing errands.  I sense him at church.  The memories abound.  Sometimes I laugh and sometimes I cry.  Always I am thankful for the memories, thankful he got to be my son, thankful that he stayed true to Jesus, thankful that Jesus saw him safely Home, thankful for the hope we have in Christ.

I am also beginning to think differently in doing some things, hard as it will be.  That is a direct result of ds.  For example, there are some foods I haven’t been able to eat since ds died because he liked them so much.  Dh kept asking me to make one of those in particular and I kept putting it off.  A while back, he asked again and I said I’d make it over the weekend, thinking he would forget since he forgets everything else.  ?  Come Sunday afternoon, he reminded me.  I said I’d make it “tomorrow.”  The next day happened to be Labor Day and I was home, while dh was not.  As I reached for the first and main ingredient, SO not wanting to do it and silent tears starting, I heard ds within me gently say, “Mom, do this in remembrance of me.”  The silent tears turned to flat-out sobbing.  He knew exactly how to reach me – his voice and scripture.  I made the meal, barely ate it as I still had escaping tears over a lump in my throat.  By the end, though, I realized I not only was no longer crying, but that my head was also up and I was smiling.  I thought, “I did it!  It’s done!  It’s finished!”  Another step forward.  Then I realized it really wasn’t finished – it had just begun as there are so many things I can do in remembrance of ds . . .

Last November was our third Thanksgiving without him.  It was the first since his death that I made the traditional turkey which he loved - in remembrance of him.  I also made lemon meringue pie which he loved – in remembrance of him. 

Opportunities continue to come to share ds’ story to encourage someone in some way.  I yet turn from most of these conversations wondering how in the world they got started – but I know each was God-ordained.

Recently such a conversation opened.  The presence of the Holy Spirit was so strong and so real, and the gentleman kept the conversation going, so I kept responding until I reached that point at which it was clear in my spirit that I had said all that I was to say.  The gentleman then told me he was going through a very difficult time, that he and his family had basically been blind-sided and he was struggling with his faith, but ds’ story had encouraged him, uplifted his spirit, strengthened his faith.  He was interested in hearing the song we’ve come to call ds’ testimony (as ds also referred to it), so I e-mailed him the song, “In Christ Alone.”  As God would have it, the next day after work I headed into the grocery story just as he was heading out.  He told me again how much our conversation had helped him and thanked me again for sharing, then told me that the song had blessed him, and that the last verse had particularly touched him.  He knew God had his situation in-hand.

Another abbreviated story:  A young man in his 20’s was involved in an accident.  Transported from one hospital to another, the doctors finally gave up on him.  However, it was not his time.  When he came through, he had a story to tell.  While in the coma, he saw a bright light.  In that light was ds whom he understood God had sent to him and who told him it was not his time, that God still had a work for him to do.  When he came out of the coma, a scripture was going through his mind.

Unbeknownst to us, this young man had carried a very strong fear of death all of his life.  His first day back at church, he caught up with me immediately to tell me what happened.  The scripture verse was none other than Revelation 21:4 – “And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.”  He said ds appearing to him with the message from God and then God planting the scripture in his heart has driven out the fear of death.  He now realized that not only was heaven real, but he had seen someone he knew who was in no sickness, no pain, no sorrow.  He also said, “For as long as I’ve known [ds], he has always had some type of wisdom to share with us.”  His fear of death no longer haunts him – it is gone.  All praise to Jesus!

There are so many stories over these almost three years.  Ds’ life continues to bless and encourage and inspire others.  He continues to be a help to people. 

As for dh and me, we grieve differently.  Dh seems to have moved ahead more quickly, but as I’ve been told repeatedly by others, that’s because “you’re his mama.”  The hole in my heart is huge.  God’s grace is greater, else I could not bear up. 

God has blessed me with full-time work as of last July.  The other co-worker retired.  Though we had the exact same job and title, I still had to interview.  It was the toughest interview I’ve ever had.  Nonetheless, I got the job and I yet praise God for that.  I absolutely love my job.  It is sheer joy.  

I continue to participate in the writer’s workshop and I have participated in another public reading.  I finished a project that I promised ds I would finish and delivered it.  I continue to take tiny steps that, in some areas, are growing. 

Dh learned earlier this year that he is diabetic and also had a couple other issues going on, so some life changes were necessary for him.  Shockingly, the hospital doctor immediately started him on insulin.  Our family doctor has since stopped the insulin and dh is on medication instead and doing well overall.

I continue to endeavor to live for Jesus.  Our lives are not for ourselves – they are for Him Who gave us life, sustains that life, and has prepared for us eternal life if we will receive Him as our Saviour and the Lord of our life.

Well, I’ve made this update longer than I intended – so what else is new!  ?  I think of my Hive friends often and how you so faithfully prayed for ds and for us – and I thank God for you.  I still covet the prayers of any who will continue to remember me.  Know, though, that God is keeping me.  He is my help, my strength, my fortress, my hope, my all.  Know, too, that ds continues to touch lives for Jesus – as only Jesus can do through His willing servants, whether they are on earth or in heaven.  ?  Jesus is awesome!

Now unto God be all glory, praise, and honor!

Blessed be the name of the Lord.

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I have thought of you frequently and am glad of the update.  It is beautiful, your son inspired so many.  He was a wonderful young man and is remembered by many.  I can't believe it's been three years.......Hugs and prayers.

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eaglei, thank you so much for coming back to share some of your son's legacy with us. I do remember and think of you and can't believe it has been three years. We love the song "In Christ Alone," so that part of your story is particularly sweet for me. I'm happy to hear your job has become full time work! I appreciate how you share your heart and your faith.

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Eaglei - I've thought of you and your son so much over these last few years (!). I'm so glad you came back to give us an update on your family. I know you've been in many people's hearts, thoughts, and prayers.  ((HUGS))

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Still remember you and your unforgettable son. I am so glad for the update. I encourage you to be merciful upon yourself; there is no time line for repurposing his room. Loss changes everything and three years is not long at all to keep his room intact or choose not to make a certain food, though of course, you may also choose to and that is also fine. I’m just saying, be sure you don’t feel you must do those things because of other people’s expectations. 

Hugs for the road ahead. 

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I very much remember you and your son, and am blessed by your update. One of those scriptures you shared, about cleaning out your son's room, is one I needed to hear right now, and I plan to print it out and teach it to my children immediately. Thank you. 

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  • 2 years later...

To Those Who May Still Remember Me . . .

I think of you often and remain very grateful for how you lifted dh, ds, and I so faithfully in prayer.

My intentions have been many and often to post another update.  Truly, I have some wonderful testimonies concerning ds who – unbelievably – has been Home in Heaven with Jesus for over five-and-a-half years now.

However, this post will not include those testimonies.  The purpose of this post is to let you know that my son has now been joined by his dad –

God called my husband Home on Friday, February 5, at about 11:30 p.m.  His passing was very unexpected, very sudden, and very peaceful.  We were home and we were together.

Dh had just seen our family doctor and one other doctor the day before.  All of his tests, etc., had come back very good, no red flags.  Our doctor was shocked to learn of dh’s passing.  The cause is officially recorded as Sudden Cardiac Death.

There is much I could write, but for now I will briefly write that which is most important:  If you do not know Jesus as Savior and Lord of YOUR life, please do not delay in acknowledging that you are a sinner (as we all are) in need of a Savior; that Jesus IS that Savior Who bore your sin on Calvary’s cruel cross; ask Jesus to forgive you, and invite Jesus to come into your life as Savior of your soul and Lord of your life. 

Nothing is more important than knowing Jesus as your personal Savior and Lord.

He loves you so very much!

I thank God that dh and ds made this decision years ago and stayed true to that committed relationship with Jesus so that, at their deaths (dh’s so quickly and unexpectedly), each entered into Heaven to be with Jesus for eternity. 

Blessed be the name of the Lord.


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