This kid cannot learn the alphabet

[Aspasia]

Ds is 3.5 and can identify one letter: E (the first letter of his name). Dd could identify all capital letters when she was 2, and that was just through reading lots of alphabet books. I have done alphabet activities with this kid, we have focused on one letter at a time for several days (making play dough letters, tracing, playing matching games, coloring pages, etc). At the end of those days, if I point to the letter and ask him what it is, he just rattles off random letters. There is no rhyme or reason to it, and I am just baffled.

 

At what point do I begin to worry about this? He seems like a pretty bright kid in other ways, and interestingly, has always been super duper verbal. His speech has always been a little advanced and his vocabulary is insane. He picks other things up quickly and effortlessly, too. It's just numbers and letters--he cannot learn them to save his soul.

[regentrude]

I would not worry at all with a 3 year old. The focus on early academics is rather unique to this country; in my home country, children learn the alphabet when they enter school at age 6 or 7. I have not seen any evidence that drilling abc in preschool gives kids here any lasting educational advantage over kids who learn it in elementary school.

 

My DD started K at age 5 without knowing the alphabet, because we had just moved to the US and she was not exposed to the early academics expectations in this country. She was the only kid in her class not to know the abcs, and the first kid in her class to read fluently, in November of K. By Spring of K she as reading on 4th grade level.

 

Knowing the abcs as a preschooler is neither necessary nor sufficient for becoming a strong reader.

Relax. He possibly does not care about letters yet. Try again in a few years.

[Elm in NJ]

My 12 year old twins were not interested in letters and numbers at 3 or 4. I just kept reading to them , playing games  and they were reading by age 5.  I wouldn't worry too much. 

[Aspasia]

Okay, thanks for the reassurance. Thanks to this board, I have mostly assumed he just wasn't interested and it wasn't a big deal. But every now and then, the neighbor kids (and dh) make me feel a little worried. I need regular reminders from veterans to just let it go. :)

[Karen in CO]

A painless way is to use the LeapFrog Talking Letter factory video.  No stress and no fuss.   We also have a Melissa and Doug alphabet train puzzle that has an animal for each letter.  It is just play and no stress.  It's a nice compromise between waiting for him to be interested and being worried.

[Aspasia]

I have the magical Letter Factory video, and that was the painless way that dd learned letter sounds. I love that video! But we haven't had as much luck with ds...yet.

[msjones]

He's just a little bitty guy.

 

Lots of little bitty kids just do not care about the alphabet -- no interest whatsoever.  

 

Makes sense, if you ask me.  There are so many other fun things for a three year old to do that don't require numbers or letters.  He sounds like a fun kid!

 

Keep your lessons short (under 5 min), happy, and stress-free.  He'll get them eventually.  I wouldn't really worry for another year or two.

 

 

[Laura Corin]

Calvin had all the letters, capital and lower case, down by the time he was eighteen months old.  Hobbes didn't get them all until he was four.  They are both really bright and excellent readers.

 

I just carried on pointing out letters in a non-quizzing way, and waited for it to click.

 

L

[SKL]

I would not "worry," but I would take him for a comprehensive vision check with a COVD optometrist.

 

I was concerned about my daughter around that age.  She knew about half of her letters then and maybe 1 or 2 numerals.  The thing was, she had been exposed to the visual information daily for years, and in preschool, she had done a lot of tracing of letters and numbers etc.  And she had glasses, so she could technically "see."  She could sit and hear about "B" and see and trace "B" numerous times and immediately thereafter have no idea what "B" was.  That did not feel right.  Turns out she had significant vision issues that responded well to vision therapy.  So I recommend that any child who doesn't seem to be on target with visual skills be tested, just in case.

[Learning fun]

Sorry , accidental post

[73349]

Three is young... he might not even understand why you want him to learn it yet!

 

My DS learned the letter names and sounds from a toy when he was two, but is just at five and a half really catching on to reading. They get there when they get there.

[dbmamaz]

I dont usually comment on this board but - my daughter could write all of her letters by 4 (knew them before age 3).  My son at 4 knew more pokemon by name than letters of the alphabet.  They read at about the same time.  

[kubiac]

If you can get it, the Signing Time "ABC Signs" video is magical (to me, at least). The music is so catchy, and connecting the ASL sign with the written symbol might trigger something hasn't been activated yet.

 

I've also noticed that most alphabet books are really vocabulary books: B is for button and bear and ball and banana. They focus on the objects as much as the letter. ANYWAY, I really like Curious George Learns the Alphabet because it's one of the few books I've seen that focuses on the letter shape and provides a visual mnemonic for remembering it, e.g. C is a crab, g is a goldfish and so forth. I also like that it covers both upper case and lower case, and addresses them individually, rather than pairing them or just doing upper case. Maybe see if you can find it in the library? Just a thought.

 

Good luck!

[MistyMountain]

I wouldn't worry yet. Not all 3 year olds are interested in letters. My 3 year old hasn't learned the letter sounds yet and I have done the magic videos that taught my other 2. (Leap frog and Preschool Prep) There is plenty of time to learn them still. You can try the video route but as evidenced by my 3 year old not all 3 year olds really care to learn them. My 3 year old has no signs of a cognitive issue and is very verbal. My oldest didn't know them until after 4 and she is a strong reader now.

[HS Mom in NC]

I didn't teach my kids the letter names, I taught them the letter sounds. I didn't do it with 3 year olds.

 

My oldest (now 17) was ready to learn to read at 4.  By her 5th birthday she could read aloud as well as any adult.

 

My middle (now 16) wasn't ready to learn to read until she was almost 8.  By the time she was 11 she could read aloud as well as any adult.  We got it out when she was 4 for a couple of weeks of 2 short 10 minutes sessions each day.  Nothing.  We put it away for 3 months.  We repeated for a couple of weeks every 3 months until she was almost 8 and started to get it.

 

My youngest is 8. She was ready to learn to read when she was about 5 and a half.  She doesn't read aloud like an adult yet, but she's a very solid reader now.

 

We read aloud to our kids at least 5 days a week for about 2 hours a day (not all in one sitting) from the time they're about 4 until they go to college. That's in addition to them listening to book recordings and reading for pleasure.

[SKL]

A couple of things I did with my daughter when she was in preschool.  She is a very physical child, so I decided to try the physical route to learning.  I found some ABC books where the letters are formed by people's bodies in different positions, and we'd study and copy those poses.  I also bought some Wiki Stix sets where she would form a raised letter over dotted lines, and then trace it with her finger.  I also found one or two ABC books with raised letters that she could trace with her finger.  I think you could probably find some other ideas like this.  Though I do agree that 3.5 is too young to worry, you might want to try this path if he doesn't pick it up easily down the line.

[Korrale]

I wouldn't be concerned yet. But I do think a vision check will not hurt. Just to rule it out. And because it is recommended at 3 by our opthamologist.

 

Though I don't think it is necessary, I high recommend the preschool prep DVDs. My son just didn't get anything from the Leapfrog DVDs. But preschool prep helped amazingly. They have frequent sales.

[boscopup]

My middle son didn't get the alphabet at age 3 either, even though both his brothers had them down pat by 2.5. At 4, he knew probably half the letters and could blend (!!), and then Leapfrog taught him the rest of the letters. He's taken longer to read, but we're getting there. It is really hard not to freak out when previous children have done things earlier. My oldest and youngest have both been reading at a mid-first grade level by 4.5, and my middle son is just hitting early first grade level now at age 7 (older first grader). It's OK. He's a late bloomer. He's making progress now that he's ready to do so. When he's applying to college, no one will care that he wasn't reading letters at age 3, or that he wasn't reading independently at age 6. ;)

 

Let the kid be 3. I do think an eye exam wouldn't hurt, but other than that, let it go. Let him watch Leapfrog and play Starfall.com. When he's school age, teach him more formally. He might be ready to pick it up then. I've never found my kids to learn much faster by pressing the info in preschool. My early learners taught themselves more when I backed off. And my late bloomer didn't bloom any earlier by working with him in preschool. It just hasn't made a difference. What has made a difference is reading to them often. Do that, and eventually he'll get interested in matching letters to sounds and then to words.

[Coco_Clark]

Unless there are other symptoms I think even an eye exam is overkill.  My pediatric ophthalmologist (we have some sever eyesight issues in the family, I am both near and farsighted as well as night blind and my husband along with several of his brothers are near sighted and color blind) doesn't recommend eye exams until 8 years old *unless you have reason to believe there is something wrong and it is affecting quality of life*.  Until then eyes and eyesight are still developing, and you run the risk of over-prescribing, which can make eyesight WORSE. Just my doc's two cents but he often tells me that other doctors giving glasses to toddlers with very minor vision needs are raking in dough at the expense of eye health.  Obviously this doesn't count the poor babes running into walls ;)

 

As far as not knowing letters by 3?  None of my kids were ever interested at that age.  I started my son on his letter sounds (we skip the names of the letters) right around his first birthday, he was reading CVC words 2 months later.  What's the rush? 

 

 

 

 

[Aspasia]

If you can get it, the Signing Time "ABC Signs" video is magical (to me, at least). The music is so catchy, and connecting the ASL sign with the written symbol might trigger something hasn't been activated yet.

 

I've also noticed that most alphabet books are really vocabulary books: B is for button and bear and ball and banana. They focus on the objects as much as the letter. ANYWAY, I really like Curious George Learns the Alphabet because it's one of the few books I've seen that focuses on the letter shape and provides a visual mnemonic for remembering it, e.g. C is a crab, g is a goldfish and so forth. I also like that it covers both upper case and lower case, and addresses them individually, rather than pairing them or just doing upper case. Maybe see if you can find it in the library? Just a thought.

 

Good luck!

We actually have that book and love it! But now that you mention it, I haven't seen it in awhile. I'll have to look around for it, because you're right, it's a goody.

 

I've been talking to some friends from other countries, and they confirmed what regentrude said (about not teaching these things until kids are six-ish, and it doesn't make an iota of difference in long-term achievement). It's a good point. So I'm just going to keep exposing him to letters casually, gauging interest as we go, but otherwise I'll just wait until he's school age to make an issue out of it. I'm expecting that by then, it won't be an issue.

[RootAnn]

I'm so glad I didn't have dd#3 first because my expectations would be all out of wack for dd#1, dd#2, and ds#1.

I remember being really impressed & nervous when a friend's ds knew all his colors, shapes, and numbers before he was 3 and dd#1 (almost two years older) could barely consistently identify one color. 

 

You might just be seeing a difference in personalities or simply gender. Glad you aren't stressing about it because he'll get it eventually.

 

:grouphug:

[jenangelcat]

My oldestk new the alphabet and their sounds before her second birthday.  She started reading basic stuff at 3.5.  Her sister didn't get the alphabet until this last year (she's 5).  She is not her sister, she learns at a different pace.  I definitely wouldn't worry about it that young.