Did I spend too much for Christmas?

[Garga]

I don't know how much is a reasonable amount to spend on presents for my sons for Christmas.

 

This year I spent the most I ever have. The boys are 8 and 11. I spent about $215 on each of them. That's $430 total.

 

The gifts are things I know they'll love. They are not iffy presents that might be misses and tossed to the side two days after Christmas. These gifts will be loved.

 

We are a single income family. DH makes a decent salary--not exceedingly high, not exceedingly low. We have savings. We do not live paycheck to paycheck. We do not buy gifts throughout the year. We save them for birthdays and Christmas.

 

So....is what I spent a normal amount? DH thought $215 each was too much and I was surprised he thought so. I thought it was just right--not too stingy, not overly extravagant.

 

If you were in my situation--middle class, decent job, money in the bank, 8 and 11 yo boys--would you think $215 per son was reasonable?

[mytwomonkeys]

Well from my POV it is more than reasonable. I'm sure answers will vary greatly. I won't even mention what our budget was in fear of flaming, lol.

[AimeeM]

Not at all, if you have it to spend and want to. There is no such thing as "too much" or "too little"; it's entirely relative to each family and their circumstances.

[PinkyandtheBrains.]

As long as you are spending within your budget it is fine. If you can't buy groceries then it might be too much.

[Julie Smith]

If it works for your family and your budget then it was the right amount. 

[sunnyday]

Yes, it's all relative. That said, I think we have settled on a roughly $100 budget per child. They'll get spoiled by extended family so we don't need to go to a large expense. Admittedly, they're still much younger than yours so they're easy to please. It was tough realizing that it wasn't reasonable for Santa to get my son the $100 chess set he wants, but this way we can feel more relaxed about our budget when we go on vacation next year.

 

Everybody has their own priorities.

[Lisbeth]

Seems reasonable to me! One thought, does your dh shop much? I find mine has an outdated idea of what things cost.

[QueenCat]

It wouldn't be extravagant to me but budgets are something that should be discussed ahead of time so that you are on the same page & no one is surprised. If I go over a little, I'm not going to discuss it with dh, but if I find something really cool that is way over what we discussed, I'll bring up & make sure we're on the same page.

[TracyP]

We spend far less. Not because we can't afford to spend more, but because we don't feel it is the best use of our money. This is *our* decision and we discuss it again every year.

 

I don't think this can be decided by $$ amount alone. Your dh thinks it is too much for some reason. Even if every person here says it is reasonable, I don't think that means that your husband is unreasonable. You have to decide this together, IMO.

[bolt.]

I buy one "major" gift per child (ex: a large Lego set), 1 or 2 or 3 minor gifts (ex: a craft kit), plus a book, and stocking stuffers.

 

As our standard of living goes up/down and our kids get older, our feel for what is "major" and "minor" and "minor" tends to naturally follow the lead of wherever we are in life.

 

If I was buying 2 or 3 major gifts, plus plenty of minor ones, that would be too much. If major gifts just keep climbing in cost and value, so the years cost more -- that's OK with me. I'm willing to spend more if things are more valuable, I just don't want more stuff for the sake of more stuff.

[kwickimom]

Not unreasonable at all! 

[lynn]

I spent about that on dd, there are so many things I want her to have and I know she'll enjoy.   A little less on ds'.   My boys always had big Christmas' when they were little.  

[k2bdeutmeyer]

Like others have said, I think as long as it fits within YOUR budget and doesn't cause hardships for the household it's reasonable.  :)

[5of5]

It doesn't seems unreasonable to me, but:

 

This year I spent the most I ever have.

It might that a big increase from past years is why it struck your DH as high.

[OneStepAtATime]

O.k. I agree with others that it doesn't seem unreasonable if it doesn't negatively affect your ability to buy groceries, pay for your living quarters (rent or mortgage), utilities, etc.  If this is a significant increase from previous years, you may want to be cautious about that same type of increase in future years.  Setting a budget ahead of time that you and DH agree to and sticking with it really does help both parents function better as a team.  It doesn't have to be set in stone, though.  If you or he found something really amazing after you have reached your agreed upon limit, you can always talk it over with each other and see if you both agree that extending that amount is worthwhile for the particular item you are interested in.

 

Do you have a monthly budget?  Maybe you could include putting aside a certain amount each month throughout the year specifically for Christmas so that you and DH KNOW how much you have to spend for Christmas and no one is surprised in the end?

 

 

[Alessandra]

My opinion would depend on what the presents are. Personally, I would spend far less on kids that age... except when I got ds a big ($200?) chemistry set. Or this year dd is getting an iPad mini. And for those who get game consoles and games to go with them -- you have to spend a fair amount, don't you? Or presents like skis or camping equipment or bicycles -- all will be pricey. If, however, the presents are things that just fill up the space under a tree (even if dc love them), then I would say it's too much. I suppose I'm as clear as mud??

 

ETA I just noticed that you do not buy gifts throughout the year. That makes a big difference, makes the amount seem significantly less, imho.

 

[Excelsior! Academy]

Depends on what you purchased. We don't really do amounts. It varies per kid. Our oldest two are getting laptops which is more per kid than you listed, but doubles for school. My 10 year old is begging for a guitar. Dh has a practically new one an uncle gave to him, so free. Another child asked for wii infinity. That was $60ish. She will get a couple of other things, but they won't amount to more than $50 total. It is more about ages and stages and what your family is comfortable with.

[catz]

I agree it depends. If you're struggling to pay your mortgage and electric bill every month, then I would say yes it is too much. If this is just a little over the top, then no, probably not. We spent a bunch on my oldest this year, but he's getting a phone which is partially for us now too given the activities he's involved in. A bunch of stuff that I wrap for my kids is stuff I would get them anyway - books, clothes, pajamas. They might just be something a little more fun than I'd usually buy them. Only you know your household budget and how extravagant that is. That's in line with what we spend on our kids (more on oldest this year though).

[kroe1]

Christmas is not about the money if you can afford it.

[edelweiss]

I think it sounds perfectly reasonable.  

[Garga]

Guys, thanks for the comments. I was so surprised at DH's reaction. He wasn't mad but he seemed shocked by the amount I spent. There aren't all that many items I'm buying. They just cost a bunch. A Lego set alone is $35 and the Doctor Who Dalek hat one DS has been wanting forever is $20. That's $55 right there for 2 gifts. I showed him how there would only be a lapful of presents for each boy when all is said and done. But I started to doubt whether I had gone overboard.

 

A PP asked if he does the shopping. No. So, you're right--he probably doesn't know how much things cost. In fact, if he sees a man's dress shirt for $15 he thinks that's too much money. I consider that dirt cheap! (unless it's a consignment or thrift store.)

 

I agree with other posters that next year I'll create a list of ideas for the boys, with prices next to them, and show it to DH early so he starts to get an idea for how much things will cost before I buy stuff.

[poppy]

Sounds completely normal to me.

 

Perhaps makes a difference if you buy presents throughout the year, or if you are one of those families that only gives kids new stuff on birthdays and holidays.

[LucyStoner]

We also don't buy gifts/toys through the year (they can use their allowance and when it is spent, it is spent. Plus they only get 1, usually smaller, birthday gift from us) and have spent up to $300 a kid on giftmas. That said usually we spend far less. We do 4 gifts per kid and focus on value rather than dollars spent. Meaning each kid gets what they will like in equal amounts but with a >5 year age gap, I don't spend the same amount on each. We are in the $65-90 each kid range this year because neither one has any expensive stuff that they need or want.

 

I think setting a budget for gifts is a good idea, as is earmarking money in the budget each month. Many people don't have any idea what things cost these days. At all. I think you and your husband could both be right and you need to come to a mutual understanding of spending and goals for the gifts.

[fraidycat]

That amount sounds reasonable.

[Prairie~Phlox]

As long as you agree, who cares. We only give 2-3 gifts and stocking stuffers. Everybfamily is different.

[lovinmomma]

I think the actual amount is far less important and could be reasonable or unreasonable depending on your finances (it sounds like it didn't cause you any financial stress). However, I would try to find out from Dh WHY he felt like it was too much. Back when I actually could afford to spend 100s I didn't. I don't have an issue with others that do, but I had really high standards about teaching the children to focus more on the birth of Jesus and less about the gifts. We went all out for their birthdays, though. Is it possible that dh isn't necessarily bothered by how much $ spent, but is just more concerned about the materialism or focus? Just a thought that maybe you could talk through with him. 

[Splash]

Reasonable to me. We have a big master list with approximate prices that dh and I go over each year. We set a budget and go from there. I don't buy them things throughout the year except clothes and shoes type things. Christmas and birthdays we get things like laptops, iPods, bikes, musical instruments, art supplies, etc. it definitely adds up quickly but I think the items are ones we'd like our kids to have so we figure it out and plan for it each year.

[DawnM]

If you can afford it, and the gifts will be used.....it should be fine.