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JAWM: Why can't kids take anything seriously?


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You know, I get that kids should be kids.  I get that kids are going to be silly and goofy.  What I don't get is why kids seem to be incapable of taking ANYTHING seriously, particularly if it comes from another kid. 

 

DS14 is a pretty good photographer.  He constantly has a camera around his neck at co-op and everyone knows that he's in the photography class.  Last night was a formal event at his co-op and his photography teacher was unable to attend so DS14 was asked to photograph the event.  The kids, in short, were complete morons to him.  Every. Single. Time. DS tried to take pictures of a group of kids someone would make stupid faces, throw up gang signs, or just stick their hands in front of his camera to block the shot.  So, not only did he hardly get any decent shots, he sacrificed his own enjoyment of the night to do so since being behind the camera generally means that you don't get to participate in the fun stuff.     

 

Oh, and not only did they completely ruin the pictures, but one of the little brats yanked the boutonniere off of his jacket lapel, which was draped over his chair while he was off taking pictures, and plucked every one of the petals off onto the floor by his chair.

 

And this is not the first time something like this has happened.  He has been asked, on more than one occasion, to take pictures at a local brick and mortar school and the same exact thing happens.

 

This.  THIS is why I cannot stand children.

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I see this on my kids swim team.  If one of the older kids is helping out the others just don't seem to take them seriously.  I think it is an immaturity thing.  They are not used to seeing one of their own in a position of authority so they continue to treat the person as a kid not a person in charge.  It is incredibly frustrating.

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I see this on my kids swim team.  If one of the older kids is helping out the others just don't seem to take them seriously.  I think it is an immaturity thing.  They are not used to seeing one of their own in a position of authority so they continue to treat the person as a kid not a person in charge.  It is incredibly frustrating.

 

Yes, I agree with this.

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I see this on my kids swim team.  If one of the older kids is helping out the others just don't seem to take them seriously.  I think it is an immaturity thing.  They are not used to seeing one of their own in a position of authority so they continue to treat the person as a kid not a person in charge.  It is incredibly frustrating.

 

This. When our dojo had been established long enough to start producing black belts that could help run classes, our senseis had to really help reinforce that they were to be treated with respect even though they are only a bit older or even the same age as some of the other kids. They are teens and some of their peers who started later are lower ranks so it was awkward at first. After a few months they started getting used to it, but only because the adults were very consistent.

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They are not used to seeing one of their own in a position of authority so they continue to treat the person as a kid not a person in charge.  It is incredibly frustrating.

 

Okay, I totally agree with this.  But I also think it's one of the social things that we, as homeschoolers, have the opportunity to try and change about our kids.  I've tried to encourage my kids to see their peers and other kids, especially teens and older kids, as potential experts about something.  And in our tiny co-op we've tried to give the kids opportunities to become the teachers, to do the planning, to be in charge.  We do an "expert day" when kids can teach about something they know.  One 5 yo taught the whole group of mostly older kids to play a little tune on recorders.  None of them knew how before and he did a really good job.

 

In society at large, it's probably inevitable to some extent, but I do think if this is a homeschool co-op, it might be an opportunity for the OP to get them to re-examine the way they encourage peer leadership and think about what they can do to create a culture where sometimes peers are the ones in charge.  I think there's no better way for kids to practice those leadership skills than to actually practice leadership skills so it's worth trying to make that the norm in a homeschool organization, in my opinion.

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As I sit here with Five 10 year-old boys playing Xbox behind me, I have come to the conclusion that children's and teenagers' collective intelligence drops 10 points with the addition of each additional person to the group. :ack2:

 

Ha.  I have a theory about this actually.  I think for younger kids, their intelligence goes up until it gets to about five kids, at which point, it starts to drop again as mob mentality takes over.  With teens, I think it automatically drops for every kid you add.  There's a law in a jurisdiction near me that basically says you can leave an 8 yo home alone (within reason) but not two 8 yos.  They have to be 14, I think, in order to be left alone together.  I was like, good grief, that's all backwards!  Two 8 yos make better decisions than one.  But two 14 yos are half a smart as one.

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Sadly, I'm not even sure if that is a phenomenon reserved only for 10 year old boys.  People can get stupid in groups.  It's very weird.

 

A recent "schmacked" riot in my town proves that this is definitely not reserved for 10 yr. old boys.  And hazing.  People of all ages can be idiots when in large groups.  

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This. When our dojo had been established long enough to start producing black belts that could help run classes, our senseis had to really help reinforce that they were to be treated with respect even though they are only a bit older or even the same age as some of the other kids. They are teens and some of their peers who started later are lower ranks so it was awkward at first. After a few months they started getting used to it, but only because the adults were very consistent.

 

DS14 is a 2nd degree black belt and, despite his age, is smaller than even most of the much younger kids.  He has been in a leadership position at the school for several years now and I actually never ever saw those kids acting anything but respectful for the youth black belt leaders during class.  I think because it is drilled into their heads from day one that a black belt of any age deserves the utmost respect.  When you walk by a black belt at the dojo, whether on the mat or in the bathroom, you must bow to them.  It doesn't matter if they are 9 or 90 yrs. old.  It has always been this way.  Because DS is a 2nd degree, he is in the adult class now.  It's pretty funny to watch a little 14 yr. old up there teaching a room full of 40 yr. old men.  

 

Now, I have seen first hand that this "respect" begins and ends at the dojo.  Those kids do not show the same level of respect to that same black belt leader in any other setting.  That tells me that, even if the kids are 100% disciplined at the dojo it is all about following directions, not genuine respect.  I actually don't think most kids (or even adults, for that matter) these days know anything at all about how to truly respect a human being.

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