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What role does Santa play in your family's Christmas traditions?


alef
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  1. 1. What part does Santa play in your family's Christmas traditions (particularly where young children are concerned)?

    • Santa is part of our traditions, we go out of our way to make him as real as possible
      36
    • Santa is part of our traditions, but we don't worry too much about making the kids believe he is real.
      45
    • Santa is part of our traditions, but everyone knows he is just make-believe
      37
    • Santa is not part of our family's Christmas traditions
      70
    • We don't celebrate Christmas
      5
    • Other
      7


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I'm not interested on arguing about the "best" way to deal with Santa and Christmas--just curious about what role Santa plays in your family. My family of origin didn't make a big deal over Santa; we hung stockings and talked about Santa coming and each had a present or two labeled "from Santa" but we all knew from the time we were tiny that it was just pretend. We enjoyed playing the game. 

It wasn't until I was an adult that I learned some families made a much bigger deal out of Santa, writing letters to the North Pole, putting out cookies and milk, making sure Santa uses different wrapping paper, etc.. My husband's family took the all-out approach.

With our kids we've mostly followed my family's example. We enjoy checking in on NORAD Tracks Santa on Christmas eve, we enjoy singing songs about Santa, Santa fills the kids' stockings--but they all know it is really mom and dad. 

We treat other pretend traditions the same way--the toothfairy is notorious for being forgetful in my home, as my kids reminded me reproachfully this morning (I think I owe three different children for teeth now...)

 

So--what role does Santa play (or not play?) in your holiday celebrations?

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Santa was always a big deal here.

 

Worked for us. :D

 

I don't mind at all if other families don't do the Santa thing, but it does bug me when they insist on telling me how horrible and dishonest it is that we did it.

 

I'm a strong believer in respecting other families' traditions, particularly when it comes to things like Santa, that don't have the slightest effect on anyone whose family does things differently.

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None at all. We did a Christmas tree and gifts and all that, but we just didn't see the need to do Santa (other than talking about him, you know). We also didn't do the Easter Bunny. :-)

 

I have adult friends who are still bitter about their parents' "lying" to them about Santa. There are so many things I could do accidentally to mess up their kids...why do something on purpose that could mess up my kids?  :D 

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Santa brings one gift here, and it is not a big one. Dh's family makes a big deal out of exchanging stocking stuffers, so we've never labeled stocking gifts as being from Santa. We haven't told our kids the "truth" about Santa, but talk about the magic and fun of Santa. I'm sure they both know where the gifts come from, but they still put out cookies, and carrots for the reindeers. 

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I never worked too hard at Santa.

 

My oldest figured it out at age five when he saw the toys I was putting together for charity. He was being a brat and thought he should have all the toys. I told him there where children who would get nothing otherwise. He said "what about Santa" and then I watched as recognition flushed across his face.

 

My dd figured it out at 6.

 

There were no tears or feeling betrayed. I think because we did not work hard at making the myth real. It was just fun.

 

Santa never gave big presents. If Santa got a list he shared it with Mom and Dad and Nana and Grandma. Santa gives a token present. Something fun, but never more than $20. The last few years not more than $10.

 

 

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santa brings one gift. my kids believed he was real.  

 

my daughter no longer believes. my son pretends to believe still. they both like celebrating santa & my daughter enjoyed those years a great deal. 

 

we also do the tooth fairy (which neither believe in anymore, but we still go through the motions of putting the tooth under the pillow and money appears).

 

we never did the bunny, but they know some people do and not to spoil it.

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I checked other.

 

We have always said that Santa came from a poem and turned commercial. However, we all celebrate St Nicholas, who was real. On St Nicholas Day. he fills dc's wooden shoes with candy and small gifts for good children; his horse tracks in leaves and whatnot.. Btw, 'good' means morally good, as opposed to deep down 100% mean; things that moms get upset about don't register for St Nick.

 

For Christmas we follow Santa on NORAD and dc get stockings. They were always fine with the idea that St Nicholas turned himself into a sort of spirit of Santa, so as not to disappoint children whose parents knew about Santa, but not about St Nicholas. It sounds crazy when I write this, but it has always worked fine in practice.

 

We got a lot of info here:

 

http://www.stnicholascenter.org/pages/home/

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With our kids we've mostly followed my family's example. We enjoy checking in on NORAD Tracks Santa on Christmas eve, we enjoy singing songs about Santa, Santa fills the kids' stockings--but they all know it is really mom and dad. 

We treat other pretend traditions the same way--the toothfairy is notorious for being forgetful in my home, as my kids reminded me reproachfully this morning (I think I owe three different children for teeth now...)

 

So--what role does Santa play (or not play?) in your holiday celebrations?

 

My family of origin made a big deal of Santa, and I am one of those kids who was devastated and upset -- felt betrayed and humiliated -- when I figured out the truth. I definitely perceived it as my parents lying to me.

 

So, we do things much more like your family did/does. My kids know the story of Santa (and the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy, etc.), but we have always made it clear it's just pretend. We have some family traditions that we attribute to Santa, like filling the stockings and that year's "big" presents appearing magically overnight. However, they are always done with a wink and a nudge. It's a game of pretend we all play together.

 

We always made sure our kids knew that other families handle this differently and taught them to be respectful and not "ruin the fun" for other kids. Neither has ever felt they missed out by not believing. Now that they are teens, each has told us they plan to take the same approach with their own kids.

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We raise our kids knowing that Santa is a fun, make believe character just like Mickey Mouse or Big Bird.  My brother dresses up and comes barging in to the big family party and gives all the kids presents and we go visit Santa at the mall, but we're very clear it's all just fun and games.  DD informed me this year that Santa was real, I didn't argue, I figured she can if she wants to.

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My mother was into presents from Santa, but I always knew he didn't exist. So, I did the same with my children at first. However, my daughter believed big time. This became awkward and when she would ask about him, I would just answer, "What do you think?" Well when she was 11yo she cornered me and demanded the whole truth and nothing but the truth. So I told her. She was livid. She refused to consider it a fun tradition and even wrote newsletters exposing the "lie." I just managed to find out before she delivered them to all the kids on the block. So, she became an evangelical Santa hater. No more Santa for us. Her brothers didn't stand a chance.

 

Fast forward: dgs believes in Santa and she has done nothing to encourage or discourage it. I'm finding that kind of amusing.

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We don't do Santa. My parents never did Santa with us, so it was never a big deal. I don't like the thought of telling my kids a lie, and I don't like taking the celebration of Jesus away from Christmas. But I don't mind playing along with other kids who might believe. We do watch movies with Santa and the kids know he's make-believe.

 

Funny story--

We were in the store the other day and the cashier asked dd3 if she was going to see Santa soon. She said (in a very loud voice!), "oh, Santa's not real!" I almost died!! There was a little girl about 7 behind us, and as we were leaving the store--very quickly--she was questioning her parents about it. I had to have a talk with dd about how some people believe...

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Santa never was part of our Nativity observances. As Orthodox, we have the real person -- St. Nicholas of Myra. We hang stockings for his feast day, December 6th. I'm glad that we never had to deceive our children. We did, however, stress to them to leave it alone for other families and not to say anything to their friends.

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I wasn't sure how to answer the poll. We don't do Santa as in pretending he brings gifts on Christmas. We do watch lots of Santa movies and the kids know he is a pretend story just like any other fairy tale. My youngest is always saying Mommy, daddy is Santa Clause. hehe We do celebrate St. Nicholas day with treats in the shoes and learning about the real St. Nicholas but the kids know I put the treats in the shoes. It is the same with the tooth fairy. They know it is either my dh or me but we just like to pretend and joke around about it.

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We don't do the Easter bunny--the basket is from parents/grandparents. The tooth fairy isn't real, but put your tooth under the pillow (in a baggie) and there will be a coin in the morning.

That is basically what we do as well. Although we don't even talk about the Easter Bunny really, but the kids enjoy Santa movies.

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I intended not to do Santa.

 

But my family introduced Punk to him........and I just went with it. Sorta.

 

Whenever asked specific questions about the big guy I always say, "what do you think?" I have never once said he is real or I believe in him.

 

When the first child figured it out we had the "you are part if the conspiricy now" conversation and each year we remind those in the know not to ruin the fun for other families and younger children.

 

At our house Santa gets credit for one gift, unwrapped, and filling the stockings. Thanks to DH, it is also believed that Santa is partial to my homemade chocolate chip and pecan cookies, freshly made. (One day I will pay DH back for this........I'm biding my time- 6 years and counting! :P )

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We don't do it. My kids are respectful towards other kids believing in him. I have problems with people (adults and kids) who do not respect our family for not believing in Santa. As in, kids finding out that Santa did not come to our house and telling my kids they must have been terrible all year. Or adults telling me that I'm ruining the magic of Christmas by not doing Santa.

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I have adult friends who are still bitter about their parents' "lying" to them about Santa. There are so many things I could do accidentally to mess up their kids...why do something on purpose that could mess up my kids? :D

I was so upset as a child when my siblings told me there was no Santa. In a very nasty was. I never got over it. Well, I shouldn't say never. I decided not to do that with my children.

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We go through this same discussion every Christmas, and it always goes the exact same way. It starts out kind of moderate, where people post that although they do or don't do the Santa thing, they are fine with people who do things differently.

 

And then a few people start posting about the evils of deceiving our children and how our children will never trust us again for the rest of their lives once they discover that we have been perpetuating such a heinous lie.

 

And then someone says something about Santa being the most important part of the Magic of Christmas and that it's mean to deprive children of the fun, and that the non-Santa folks should lighten up and do the right thing for their kids.

 

Eventually, it turns into a big smackdown.

 

I hope this thread doesn't end up that way, but Santa discussions usually do...

 

Personally, I don't know why it's such a hot-button topic for so many people. It's a pretend dude with a fluffy white beard in a red suit. Tell your kids there's a Santa. Tell them there's no such thing as Santa. Whatever works for your family is no one else's business, and no one should be telling anyone else what they should do for Christmas in their own homes, or try to make them feel guilty because they have a different idea as to how Christmas should be celebrated.

 

I think the intent of this thread was pretty cool, and if people stay non-judgmental, it could be a lot of fun to hear about how all of us celebrate the holiday.

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And then a few people start posting about the evils of deceiving our children and how our children will never trust us again for the rest of their lives once they discover that we have been perpetuating such a heinous lie.

 

And then someone says something about Santa being the most important part of the Magic of Christmas and that it's mean to deprive children of the fun, and that the non-Santa folks should lighten up and do the right thing for their kids.

I do not give a hoot what anyone else does with Santa. :lol:  I hope there isn't a smack down either. ;)

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We introduced Santa, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy.  Our stand was that we'd start out with it, but never go to extremes to keep it going.  DS figured out the Easter Bunny when he was four, but somehow he still held on to Santa for a while, although the kid is uber-logical and probably was skeptical after that.  When asked, we told him. 

 

We are also planning to tell the story of the real St. Nicholas this week.

 

I have no problem with families doing or not doing Santa and the like.  But I wish people wouldn't get snarky or self-righteous that their way is the only way and everyone else is ruining their children. 

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I read oldest dd the story of St. Nicholas when she was 2. It was her favorite book, so much that she memorized it word for word.

 

The two youngest have toyed with the idea if believing in Santa, but without any encouragement from us, it never has taken hold.

 

Dd8 has told me that it's a good thing I didn't teach her Santa was real, because she would have been very angry when she found out the truth.

 

All of the children know that this is a deep family secret and they are not to enlighten any of their acquaintances.

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And then a few people start posting about the evils of deceiving our children and how our children will never trust us again for the rest of their lives once they discover that we have been perpetuating such a heinous lie.

 

Personally, I don't know why it's such a hot-button topic for so many people. It's a pretend dude with a fluffy white beard in a red suit. Tell your kids there's a Santa. Tell them there's no such thing as Santa. Whatever works for your family is no one else's business, and no one should be telling anyone else what they should do for Christmas in their own homes, or try to make them feel guilty because they have a different idea as to how Christmas should be celebrated.

 

I think the intent of this thread was pretty cool, and if people stay non-judgmental, it could be a lot of fun to hear about how all of us celebrate the holiday.

 

No intent to incite a smackdown on my part. However, I will say that, as someone who truly did have trouble trusting my parents in part because they lied to me about Santa Claus, I do find the dismissing tone of this comment a little off-putting.

 

I get that your kid seems fine with it. And, hey, if he's happy and you're happy, good for you.

 

But the Santa deception actually did cause me genuine pain. Now, I feely admit I was an . . . odd child. I felt things very deeply, cared very much and had an out-sized sense of my own dignity. So, for me, it was honestly traumatic to discover that my parents had been intentionally lying to me and, from my point of view, making a fool of me for being silly enough to believe something that is, once you really look at it, ridiculous. Finding out the truth ruined that holiday season for me, and it does represent the first time I realized that my parents could and did lie to me.

 

So, yeah, no smackdown, no judgment. But, given how upsetting it was for me, I do feel a certain responsibility to share my story with other parents, just in case it might help another kid avoid facing a similar experience.

 

Like almost everything else about parenting, I absolutely believe there are as many "good" ways to handle the Santa question as there are families. I do hope, though, that parents actually sit down and make these choices thoughtfully, rather than just going with the flow.

 

You are now free to return to your previously scheduled fun thread.

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I'd say among my adult friends, the ones who were devastated when they found out the truth about Santa are about equal to the ones who didn't really care. I find that the ones who were devastated are the ones who don't do Santa in their households. My husband had a traumatic experience finding out, and I grew up not doing Santa, so we will not teach our kids that he is real. If they want to pretend, it is fine, but we won't have any gifts labeled "From Santa" or anything like that. Like I said, I didn't grow up believing in Santa, so there is no sense of fun or nostalgia with him for me. I'd rather put my efforts elsewhere. Plus, you just never know how your children will respond (upset or fine with it) to discovering the truth. I wouldn't want to risk it. Christmas is a ton of fun even without Santa.

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I didn't feel comfortable answering any of the choices because we do talk about St. Nicholas as a real person who lived a long time ago. We may even celebrate Nicholas and his charity, but we don't really do American Santa at the North Pole watching you and giving you toys because you're good. I may even feel that is a little silly (although completely within the norm of our society and doesn't make you a bad person or anything). Since St. Nicholas was a real person, just not a magical elf, most of the choices don't really work for people from that point of view. 

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We do Santa.  

 

FWIW, I've met people whose parents did NOT do Santa and felt cheated from that childhood experience, so I guess some parents can just never win.  I think if it is a huge hurt in your life, there was probably more going on in the family dynamics than just whether or not your parents told you Santa was a real person or not.

 

 

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We never stopped doing Santa, we just got sillier.

 

I let Ma Ingalls explain to my middles that "the older you get, the more you know about Santa" so there was never a horrible "You lied to me! Santa isn't real!" moment, just a gradual and comfortable coming to the understanding that we were talking about a concept, not a human being.

 

They were still hanging their stockings when the littlest was born, and we continued our tradition of putting silly and age appropriate items in them, like travel sized deodorant, razors for ds, even tampons for dd2, and spark plugs to celebrate reaching driving age, little bottles of wine to celebrate reaching drinking age, etc.

 

Integrating a baby into that was a bit challenging since we just couldn't shrink Santa back down and didn't really want to.

 

Little ds would probably be happier if we just bought craft supplies that we could all use to make each other Santa presents for Christmas and bought his toys when he needed them and we found good deals on them, but the grandparents aren't going to go for that so we have to wait until they're gone to de-escalate the consumerism and enjoy the time we have left with them in ways that they can understand.

 

I think Santa was used as a disciplinarian when they were growing up and that they still bear scars from misunderstanding what was really going on in the '30s. It would be easy for a small child to think they had done something awful or been unfairly judged when economic realities changed.

 

I have nothing but fond memories of Santa and when my sister said, "Come here...I have a secret to tell you...." and included God and Jesus with the Tooth Fairy, Santa, Easter Bunny, etc. I wasn't particularly upset, I just didn't want to spoil the fun so I didn't tell Mom I knew until she asked me when I was tweenish and then we tweaked the traditions to make them sustainable and not too much of a burden for her.

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Santa was always a big deal here.

 

Worked for us. :D

 

I don't mind at all if other families don't do the Santa thing, but it does bug me when they insist on telling me how horrible and dishonest it is that we did it.

 

I'm a strong believer in respecting other families' traditions, particularly when it comes to things like Santa, that don't have the slightest effect on anyone whose family does things differently.

I agree. Santa is a big deal here and even though my two oldest kids know he is not real, they play along for the sake of the youngest. Neither of my boys has been traumatized by the knowledge that he is not real. They think it is something really sweet and special that we did for them.

 

When my oldest ds was much younger I actually paid $10 online for Santa to "call" him on Christmas morning. When the caller ID lit up with Santa's name you should have seen my son's face! I think it was the highlight if his year. He still talks about that and how awesome it was.

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We do Santa on a small scale. I've never told my kids he was or wasn't real. Currently they all believe. I tell them that Santa has so many kids to give gifts to that he only brings one for each child. Then Mum and Dad do the rest and that is why some kids get a few gifts and some kids get a lot...because it depends on what the parents can afford. I tell them that we do charity drives for the kids whose parents cant afford to get there kids any gifts...so they can have a few more then just the one from Santa :)

 

Since my kids are always with me and Australia has only recently embraced online shopping....they knew that I buy most of their gifts anyway. They still like to get the one gift from Santa though.

 

I don't think they will be disappointed when they find out since they know I already buy most of their gifts anyway.

 

Its also much easier to explain why some years they get more gifts then others and why requests for a real unicorn or an Ipad of their own will not be fulfilled ;)

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We do Santa, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy. But we're pretty mellow about all three. DS just lost his first tooth last month and I'm least thrilled with the tooth fairy, but I'll still do it. :-) Santa leaves 1 unwrapped gift and fills stockings on Christmas Eve. We do leave out milk and cookies. I read this letter about telling your child about Santa and I like the sentiment, so when the time comes, I'll most likely take this approach.

 

http://moms.popsugar.com/Telling-Kids-Truth-About-Santa-27332439

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When dd was little we lived in a Muslim country, and we pretty much ignored Santa altogether. Ds gets lots of Santa input from those around him, and we've taken a neutral stance - I certainly won't say Santa's real, but I don't say he's fake unless ds is pushing (the issue gets revisited periodically). We don't give Santa gifts specifically. When other kids ask mine what Santa gave them, and they then deflect the question to me, I either say that the stocking was from Santa or I say I can't remember and let them nominate a Santa gift. (They get a small gift a day from Solstice to Christmas Eve and their stockings on Christmas morning).

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If you stop believing in Santa, he stops bringing you presents.  This is what my Papaw always told us as kids, and until he died, he always got a gift from Santa.  He died several years ago, and to this day, no one owns up to being the Santa.  Personally, I think my aunts took turns.

 

I think my dd10 figured it out a long time ago, but she won't say, and I don't ask too many probing questions.  Dd8 is a firm believer, and doesn't show any signs of wanting to give it up.  This is just fine with me.  Santa is real, as I and my husband are Santa, and we are real.   :D

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I took the all out approach.  When I got worried my kids would recognize my handwriting on gift tags from Santa, I bought address labels for each child that had Santa on them and said, "To X, with love from Santa".

 

When another child told my kids there was no Santa, I said, "That's too bad, because Santa doesn't visit those who don't believe in him."  Simple.  Except after that my kids wouldn't admit to not believing in Santa.  Christmas 2009, I sat down with the kids and told them the jig was up.  No more pretending for Mom, they would still get presents.

 

Being Santa was a lot of fun! 

 

The kids believed in the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy, too, but I didn't mind when they stopped believing.

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We don't tell them anything about Santa. They learn it through osmosis. Then we feel bad about crushing their beliefs and don't tell them he doesn't exist even when directly asked, though they eventually come to that conclusion for themselves. This year this turned into a discussion about Schrodinger Claus. His existence or lack thereof is uncertain until he's observed. DD must stay awake all night and attempt to observe him in order to find out the truth.

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I completely forgot to say that Mean Mommy gives the older kids socks and underwear and the baby a used book, which are wrapped and placed under the tree. Santa fills the stockings and decorates the living room with the good stuff. The left side of the living room is the older kid(')s(') and the right side is the younger kid's.

 

xdh (actually dxh now that we're old friends instead of coparents of minors) used to wrap the Santa presents. Looking back through rose coloured glasses, I was kind of wondering why this upset me so much until I mentioned it to ds1 tonight, and he rolled his eyes and said, "No way! Santa's a busy dude! He doesn't have time for that poop!"

 

That's how I saw it too, but more than likely Mom and Dad just didn't want to hassle with the special wrapping paper and  handwriting issues that dxh's parents probably stressed themselves out over. ;)

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If you stop believing in Santa, he stops bringing you presents.  This is what my Papaw always told us as kids, and until he died, he always got a gift from Santa.  He died several years ago, and to this day, no one owns up to being the Santa.  Personally, I think my aunts took turns.

 

 

That is sweet!  Good for him and good for whomever gave him a Santa gift!

 

I don't care what anyone else does regarding Santa, but it's not their business what I do.  I also don't want anyone spoiling it for my children, just because they don't believe.

 

Indy finally put the question to us about a month ago and asked for the truth.  We explained it to him and why it's a tradition (to us, not everyone), and told him he should never ruin it for anyone else who still believes and certainly not for Han Solo.  He said he'd NEVER do that, and was excited that he would now help with Santa for Han Solo.

 

We've always done Santa in a big way.  Santa brings 3 gifts (though Han Solo is little and only gets 1) and they are always wrapped in plain red paper, and he fills the stockings.  We'll still do this for Indy, even though he knows the truth.  It's all part of the fun.

 

My parents were big on Santa too.  My dad used to throw rocks at the roof on Christmas Eve, and run past my bedroom window with a flashlight with a red cover on it to make me think it was Rudolph.   :)

 

We saw Santa at the mall the other day and Han Solo finally agreed to go get his photo done (we'd visited several times just to do a meet), but he wouldn't do it without Indy.  Indy told me that the Santa was so realistic he just might have to start believing again.  Of course that could be because James Bond told him that once you stop believing in Santa all you get for Christmas is socks and underwear.   :)

 

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We saw Santa at the mall the other day and Han Solo finally agreed to go get his photo done (we'd visited several times just to do a meet), but he wouldn't do it without Indy. Indy told me that the Santa was so realistic he just might have to start believing again. Of course that could be because James Bond told him that once you stop believing in Santa all you get for Christmas is socks and underwear. :)

 

What a great photo -- both of your boys are so handsome!!! :)

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We didn't talk much about "Santa" but we talked about the history of St. Nick in anticipation of Christmas. We made it more about the birth of Christ.

BUT this does not mean ds didn't know the common facts about Santa and had fun with it. We just sort of made sure ds realized that Christmas was not really about Santa. Hope this makes some sense and it is in no way a smack down of good ole Santa and what he (originally) stands for.

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