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We are adopting!!


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Hello!  I haven't checked in on the chat board in quite awhile, but wanted to share this awesome, amazing news with you all!  Some of you may know that last Christmas we hosted a child through an orphan hosting program.  We had never participated in an orphan hosting program before and didn't really intend to adopt.  But, it was a wonderful experience.  We hosted her again this summer and will be hosting her the third time this Christmas.  She is from Ukraine and has lived in the orphanage for five years.  We have never adopted before and it has all been quite scary, but we have managed to get through the home study and have now completed our dossier.  Our petition to adopt will be filed in Ukraine in early January and we expect to travel next March. 

 

I have been reading a lot of books about attachment and how to parent these brave, hurt children.  She is very brave.  We love her to pieces.  I don't really know what else to do to prepare for this enormous change that will impact our family forever.  I hope I can home-school her but I am open to sending her to a brick and mortar if she would be happier with the group learning.  She is 12, and does have her own opinions about everything!  She is very smart and though she doesn't speak much English we did see a huge leap in her English speaking skills this summer.  I would love curriculum suggestions or just to hear from any of you who have adopted internationally. 

 

 

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Congratulations!!!  How exciting.  I would suggest you focus on attachment and English skills before adding a full load of other subjects.  The change likely will be hard for her for a while.  It's one thing to visit with a family, but it's quite another to become part of that family.  Prepare for a honeymoon period followed perhaps by a period where she tests your commitment to her.  Of course, every child and every adoption is different.   Someone I know adopted a toddler and at that young age she had some attachment issues.  It took hard work, but the relationship between the child and parent is very strong now.

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Congratulations and best wishes.  I know Cindy in C-Ville and her husband adopted their daughter Katya from the Ukraine.  It sounds like they may have participated in the same program (or at least a similar one) that you did.  You might consider reaching out to her.

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I really like Deborah Gray's books, Attaching in Adoption and Nurturing Adoption. Attaching would be the first choice. They are very practical and helpful books; realistic but hopeful. We adopted our youngest internationally at four years old. It has been a different path, but a good one. Not without challenges, but still good. Wishing you all the best.

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