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Help, please! DD (12) wants Ipod touch for Christmas


Ipsey
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She wants on that will go on the internet and do texting, etc. (She'll be 13 in Feb)

She plans on buying it herself, with her own money, and but her father and I have explained that we must negotiate usage rules, etc. 

 

Can anyone explain Ipods to me?  I had one, but it was only music.

If she gets this Ipod, will we have to pay some sort of monthly fee, or can she just use our Wifi for free and do whatever connectivity stuff she wants (so long as she doesn't buy apps)?

 

Also, if you have suggestions or want to share some of the family rules you have come up with for having items like this, I would love to hear about them.

 

Also, if you have sites that can explain ipods for idiots (and parental controls--as if my daughter couldn't figure them out if she wanted to) I'd appreciate any links you have to offer.

 

I am very hesitant.

 

Thanks so much!

 

 

 

 

 

 

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IPods work with any wifi connection. With Wifi, an iPod Touch can do almost anything an iPhone can do. You can set controls in settings with a passcode, but it's all or nothing-either you allow internet access or you don't, either you allow all YouTube videos or none, etc. There are apps to text to a phone, but for the most part, you text to other apple ID's via iMessage.

 

My DD has had one almost 2 years-she only iMessages/FaceTime calls a small group of people, and she shares my Apple ID so I see all of her messages on my IPad. She is only allowed to use it in public areas of the house.

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We purchased one for our dd13's bday and personally regret it. She's always been a child who amused herself and has always been a voracious reader. It all stopped when she got the iPod. Throughout the past 9 months we've had to take it away several times because it can consume her. She's currently without it and is her enjoyable self again, reading, doing crafts, etc. if I had it to do all over again, I would not have purchased one. That said, we never enabled her internet access. She did have wifi which enabled her to Facetime, email, IM, etc. We also ended up shutting down her ability to purchase apps. The worst offender has been some of those, especially pinterest, which is a massive time suck. We allowed Instagram but created our own acct to monitor what she was doing there. She's a good kid and hasn't done anything inappropriate, but we've just been unhappy with the amount of time she's spent on it.

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We purchased one for our dd13's bday and personally regret it. She's always been a child who amused herself and has always been a voracious reader. It all stopped when she got the iPod. Throughout the past 9 months we've had to take it away several times because it can consume her. She's currently without it and is her enjoyable self again, reading, doing crafts, etc. if I had it to do all over again, I would not have purchased one. That said, we never enabled her internet access. She did have wifi which enabled her to Facetime, email, IM, etc. We also ended up shutting down her ability to purchase apps. The worst offender has been some of those, especially pinterest, which is a massive time suck. We allowed Instagram but created our own acct to monitor what she was doing there. She's a good kid and hasn't done anything inappropriate, but we've just been unhappy with the amount of time she's spent on it.

 

This.  We purchased one for our 16 year old and regret it as well. 

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My dd got my stepson's hand-me-down ipod when she was 9. I was seriously annoyed that he did this without asking us first because I hadn't planned on that sort of thing until she was older. It has turned out to be more positives than negatives for us, though. It is set to my apple id, and she needs me to put in the password for every app -- even the free ones. She knows that it must always be available for parental inspection. She uses it to check her email, IM cousins and friends, watch Netflix, and listen to podcasts. The best part is that she can download ebooks and audiobooks through the library, so she is constantly loading it up with interesting things.

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2 of my kids have iPods, ages 15 and 14 (well, 3 of my kids, the oldest is 19. She has one too).  They got them when they were 13 (my dd upgraded hers when the newer ones came out).  I plan on getting one for my ds11 for his birthday (at 12). 

 

There are no monthly fees.  They use your wifi.  You can set a passcode on it.  In fact there are 2 different ones I believe.  One code lets you turn off in-app purchases (and do that!).  I think I was also able to restrict "adult content", but that may have been on my oldest dd's anciet iPod touch.  

 

We have not had issues.  My dd uses hers to chat a lot with friends, that is her main use (she doesn't have a smartphone, so this takes that place).  

 

You make your limits clear.  I don't recommend threating to take it everytime you are looking for some sort of punishment or bargaining tool.  Only take it if the iPod itself is a problem.

 

My kids love their iPods.  And my ds11 has been begging for one for over a year.  He just wants his own private minecraft device. :)  

 

When it comes to technology, I tend to take a, "they need to learn to live with it", stance.  They know they can't use it when we are at events, or with other people (social situations).  They have learned to limit it themselves. 

 

 

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My nearly 10 and 11 year old girls have both had them for 2 years.  They do fine with them, and they love them.  I can't think of another item either of them has ever had that they got more use out of.  I love that I can Facetime and iMessage with them when I'm traveling for work.  Neither has ever abused any privilege.  

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I have an ipod touch that I let my kids borrow. I have parental controls set on it using a passcode that only I know. You could set that up on it and that would make it such that she could not have access to certain apps. I don't let my kids on the internet without supervision yet though, so for us the parental controls are mostly to keep kids from accidentally buying stuff, deleting my apps or blasting their eardrums out listening to music too loud - but you can do a lot with them. There are videos online that can walk you through it step by step.

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We got our boys itouches and it is one of the best things I have ever got them.  I took off safari and you tube so they don't have internet access from them. They play games and listen to audio books and their music on them. They watch Netflix on there, but not often. Mostly they make movies with them.

 

Really, it is an iphone without the phone part. It works on wifi so there is no monthly fee.

 

Find a friend whose kid has one and spend some time holding it and asking questions.

 

My kids are very responsible with their itouches. I've never had a problem with them. But, again, there is no web browser on there so I don't have to worry. I have them all locked up with the parental controls. But, to be honest, they have never given me reason to worry about them with it. I don't allow them internet access because I don't trust the internet, not because I don't trust my kids.

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DD13 won an ipod touch from her youth group.  DS11 bought one with his own money.  We wish they didn't have them.

DD13 is not allowed to use her ipod between the hours of 9am and 3pm and must turn it in at bedtime.  We have to specifically tell her to put down the ipod when we are doing something as a family like watching a movie together.  It's like it is the only thing that exists.  We also closely monitor every site that she spends time with because she has gotten involved with "friends" whom we don't think are a positive influence.

DS11 has had everything disabled on his except music because he discovered pornography with his.  Fortunately, we have filters on our firewall that provide DH with reports of websites that were blocked and searches that were done.  It was one of those reports that alerted us to his pornography access.

A friend attributes the ipod to her daughter's downward spiral...from getting involved with pedofiles to a suicide attempt to becoming the kind of kid that lies, sneaks out of the house, and generally makes their family's life hell. 

An internet-enabled ipod makes it so much easier for kids to have access to things and people you might not want them to have access to. 

Definitely set and keep clearly defined limits and utilize the parental controls if choose to allow your child to have an ipod.

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I will add-I've disabled Safari, youtube, and have my apple ID and passcodes set for many, many things. It really hasn't been a problem-DD uses it for an e-reader, to access some educational apps and games, to text her cousins, to listen to music, and to watch the occasional netflix video. It's used most as a camera and to make stop-motion movies, honestly.

 

I wonder if it's less absorbing for a younger DC? It really has never been a problem.

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My 12 yo bought one. It's hooked to my Apple ID, so I have to put in the passcode for any downloads, and I can see her history on my phone and iPad.

 

We set wifi hours for her device on our router, so she doesn't have internet access between 9pm and 9am. During the day, she only uses it when she's not engaged in something else. There have been times when I've had to tell her to put it away, but overall, she's done pretty well with knowing when is and is not an appropriate time to use it.

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DD9 wanted one for  Christmas but we've opted to get her a Nano instead. I'm just not comfortable with a preteen having internet access at her fingertips. She is a great kid -very sensitive to what is appropriate. But all kids have lapses of judgment from time to time so for now we're keeping the internet out of her hands. 

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You will need to open an iTunes account. Get a gift card! I've never put any credit card info on any if our accounts.

 

You can allow messages and FaceTime, but turn off safari and never introduce her to games! This is what I wish I had done with dd's iPod.

 

It is now a constant battle; begging for safari, begging for new apps, and just on overall time suck.

 

Then I have the added stress of getting lectures and crap from my father when I take iPods away (he bought them).

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DD13 won an ipod touch from her youth group.  DS11 bought one with his own money.  We wish they didn't have them.

 

DD13 is not allowed to use her ipod between the hours of 9am and 3pm and must turn it in at bedtime.  We have to specifically tell her to put down the ipod when we are doing something as a family like watching a movie together.  It's like it is the only thing that exists.  We also closely monitor every site that she spends time with because she has gotten involved with "friends" whom we don't think are a positive influence.

 

DS11 has had everything disabled on his except music because he discovered pornography with his.  Fortunately, we have filters on our firewall that provide DH with reports of websites that were blocked and searches that were done.  It was one of those reports that alerted us to his pornography access.

 

A friend attributes the ipod to her daughter's downward spiral...from getting involved with pedofiles to a suicide attempt to becoming the kind of kid that lies, sneaks out of the house, and generally makes their family's life hell. 

 

An internet-enabled ipod makes it so much easier for kids to have access to things and people you might not want them to have access to. 

 

Definitely set and keep clearly defined limits and utilize the parental controls if choose to allow your child to have an ipod.

 

 

What Firewall do you have?  

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My 12 yo bought one. It's hooked to my Apple ID, so I have to put in the passcode for any downloads, and I can see her history on my phone and iPad.

 

We set wifi hours for her device on our router, so she doesn't have internet access between 9pm and 9am. During the day, she only uses it when she's not engaged in something else. There have been times when I've had to tell her to put it away, but overall, she's done pretty well with knowing when is and is not an appropriate time to use it.

 

My sons have had ipod Touches for 4 or 5 years and have gotten lots of use out of them. (videos, chat/texting, games, books, music,). We consider them one of the better toys that they've received over the years.

 

We've always controlled their internet access (time and content) via our router and never had a problem with abuse. 

 

K

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What Firewall do you have?  

 

I don't fully understand how it works (DH does that), but he has a program called Untangle.  Untangle Lite is free to download and use, but it has to run on a dedicated system.  We have that computer in the garage.  It takes over the system because all web traffic goes through it.   It provides us with virus protection, web filtering, traffic reports, and I don't know what else.

 

I do know that it doesn't filter Google images.  The only way to filter Google images with a filtering program is to block ALL images, not just the explicit ones. Fortunately, Google's built-in safe search does a good job of that once you enable it.  Youtube has the same safe search feature that filters out both explicit videos and comments.  To utilize Google's safe search, log into your Google account.  Enable it and lock it; then log out of your account.  Do this on each computer.  Make sure you log back out and guard your password.  No one will be able to unlock safe search on that computer but you (or someone who has your log in and password).  Here's a link to the webpage for Safe Search.  YouTube's safe search works the same way; scroll all the way to the bottom of the page to find the button that says "Safety" to set it up.

 

On an ipod, you need to use the parental controls to block things by rating.  I'm not sure how well it works since we haven't tested it.  We have Safari completely blocked on the ipod so that there is no internet access at all.  However, I do know that Untangle will tell you what websites and web searches are being used through the ipod.  That's how we found out; the traffic report showed some search terms we didn't like.  From there, all we had to do is figure out which device was using that particular IP address.  So, while it didn't block everything perfectly, it did alert us to a problem.

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Indy wants an iPod touch, but we got him an iPad mini instead, because it was less expensive than the touch (go figure).  He uses mine or dh's on the weekend and we will limit his to weekend use as well.  It will be hooked up to my apple account, so he can't buy apps.  He's fairly responsible and trustworthy, but he'll have to use it in a public place or with his door open if he goes into his room.  I'm considering removing Safari, but I may just set up the parental controls.  Our real problem is Han Solo!  He loves the iPad (mostly for Angry Birds Star Wars, at which he is a GENIUS!), and we know he will want to play it.  We let him play on ours, but he will WANT Indy's, simply because it's Indy's.  Sigh.

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My 13 yo got one with her own money for her 12th birthday. We have had some periodic issues (watching netflix in the middle of the night, etc), but we took it away for a period, reworked permissions and apps for a while, etc and it's not a major problem. As was said earlier, it's a major part of her world as it stands now. We did make her wait until 13 for a facebook account.

 

Check out the Apple store online for refurbished ones. They have a full warranty and the prices are much better. We've gotten two ipods from there with no issues.

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