It's not just my kids, right?

[plain jane]

I need some input as to whether this is just my kids or if all kids are like this.  It's been one of those days.  :laugh:  LOL

 

My kids, 12 and under, have an uncanny ability to tear my house apart.  They are not destructive and they don't break toys or color on walls or anything "crazy" yet, they have an uncanny ability to make a wreck of everything.

 

For example: the 5 & 7 yos want to play a game.  The house is nicely cleaned up so they take out the game, play for 15 min.  Enter 2 yo who comes in and disrupts game either by throwing parts, or stepping on it (my kids hate playing at any  table for some reason)  Now said game is all over the place.  Pieces under the couch, you name it.  I ask them to clean it up, they do, but inevitably parts get left out and next time they go to play the game is unusable.  This happens more than I want to admit.

 

Or, they have all their Playmobil or Lego structures set up for play.  One of the structures accidentally gets knocked down (this is in the playroom) and by the end of the day (or week, if I'm lucky) the entire thing has not only not been picked up, but it in pieces scattered all over the entire house.  The edge of the pyramid has become a sword and brought to a bedroom, the key has become part of a necklace, then lost under a couch in the basement.  You get the idea. It's like once a structure has one piece missing it's a free for all on the rest.  :huh:

 

It is insane and I"m having a hard time staying on top of the madness.  The biggest culprits are the 7,5 and 2 year olds but my 9 and 12 year olds also have similar issues with their crafts.  

 

Most days I feel like I'm going crazy.  I know they are young.  I really do but I'm wondering if it's like this for everyone or are my kids especially worse?  At any given time there is stuff everywhere, all over my house.  They find a pen of mine they like?  They use it to draw on their clipboards but then they move on to something else and the clipboard and pen are left laying in the middle of the hall.   They see a neat looking ______ and use it for _____ and pretty soon it's all over the _______.  Or they play hide and go seek or tag and knock over _____ but they are in the middle of playing so now there is ______ all over the place.  By the time I see it, nobody will fess up to it or they are too young to remember it was them. 

 

Rotating toys is very hard for me because I can never get the stuff cleaned up before they want the next batch (I really can't get all 3 little guys to agree to play the same thing at the same time).  When it comes time to clean up, they do, but the bins never stay sorted like I had them and before I know it there ends up being a sock in this toy bin and a pen of mine in another.  Or bills and everyrthing that they grabbed when cleaning up will be shoved into their toy bins.   Sure, the house is tidied up but most of it is now in their toy bins.  :glare:

 

I try so hard to teach them good habits: to clean up after themselves, to check for all pieces before putting stuff away, but I feel like it's all falling on deaf ears.

 

My kids aren't the only ones, right?  Please tell me other kids do this too.  And if not... what's your secret?

 

[T'smom]

Well, I don't know about all kids, but mine are EXACTLY like that. EXACTLY. I almost put "it's astonishing how quickly my house can go from 'company clean' to 'looks like a tornado tore through it' just this evening. And I only have 2! They are 6 and 3. I can't imagine keeping up with 5. If I'm cleaning up one room, they're destroying another. When I'm doing school with the 6 year old, the 3 year old is getting into random stuff. We had a mom's thing at church this morning where we made bows and got these bow maker things. When we got home, I went to the bathroom and when I came out all the bows I made were destroyed and the bow maker and stick thing that went with it were in two seperate rooms. I didn't really care about the bows, they weren't that great and I was doing it mainly to be sociable. But why did they even mess with them?!? They weren't that exciting! I feel like the only way the house stays presentable is if I am constantly getting after them and that's no fun for anyone. But living in a dump isn't much fun either.

[zoobie]

Not the only one.

 

We have a mystery bucket for the little pieces that get found but we're not exactly sure where it goes but we know it's not trash and if we throw it away then immediately would find the thing that needs it. That helps a little.

 

Socks. Are. My. Nemesis. I threaten on a daily basis to serve the abandoned dirty sock to its owner at the next meal. Why does one shed a single sock in the middle of the bathroom/living room/kitchen/foyer? Just whyyyyyyyyy?!?!?

 

Clean up time includes me singing a crazed tune about not just shoving things and putting them where they belong or Mommy's going to keep singing.

 

Drinking heavily might help.

[Punchie]

They sound like mine. Honestly, there are many days that I wonder why I bother cleaning the house because it will be trashed w/in 15 minutes. My kids managed to rip a hole in our couch, so now when I clean, I have to pull the cushions off, look in the hole, and see if anything needs to come out. I've given up on the crayons. They just stay there, but clothes, toys, and books have all ended up inside.

[lifesadream83]

today I threatened to throw all things crafts away as the paints, glue, fabric and scissors were left out on the dining table when I was getting ready to put dinner on the table... the mess continued into the livingroom with all my 11month olds toys... and then behind the couch all the art supplies were strewn all over... pipe cleaners paint brushes, glue, necklace making items, clay, model magic... did I mention her room looked like a tornado hit it....

 

did I mention my girls are 9years and 11months... LOL

[musicianmom]

Yes, this is my life. And my house is too big, which means a greater surface area for the toys to spread. Ugh.

[Mandylubug]

sounds like my kids :/ We decided to have a nice quiet play date at Barnes and Noble with some of their friends today. yeah.............we left after they were running through the store playing hide and seek. I was shocked. They NEVER do that but I think having friends with them brought out their wild sides. I am sure the store rejoiced when our posse left.

[8circles]

Seriously, I have never felt such a kinship with a fellow poster before.  Based on this post, you are me.  I am you.  We are one. (except for the number of children and other unimportant details)  

 

No, it isn't just your kids.

[Chris in VA]

I never had little ones all together like you--I just want to say, I admire anyone who can stay sane and reasonable agreeable and non-abusive/yelling/freakingout on one's kiddos when this is your daily reality.

 

It must be exhausting.  :grouphug:

 

I hope it helps that I am in awe of you!

[plain jane]

sounds like my kids :/ We decided to have a nice quiet play date at Barnes and Noble with some of their friends today. yeah.............we left after they were running through the store playing hide and seek. I was shocked. They NEVER do that but I think having friends with them brought out their wild sides. I am sure the store rejoiced when our posse left.

Ack. Mine have done that too (well, not the older 2). And we didn't have the friends to blame it on. :(. I was so mortified I cried the entire way on the drive home. Each time. :( ugh. Thankfully different stores. ;) apparently the "we never ever ever do that at Costco" doesn't equate to we never ever do that at _____. Whyyyyyyy???

[Mandylubug]

Ack. Mine have done that too (well, not the older 2). And we didn't have the friends to blame it on. :(. I was so mortified I cried the entire way on the drive home. Each time. :( ugh. Thankfully different stores. ;) apparently the "we never ever ever do that at Costco" doesn't equate to we never ever do that at _____. Whyyyyyyy???

ha ha. My older didn't participate; he sat in a chair reading the Ender Games or whatever the title is and sulked because he had to be "in the kids section and he doesn't read kid books anymore..." grrrrr, If I wasn't worried about weirdos messing with him, I may have considered letting him sit on his on the other part of the store in an adult section. Running kids and sulking kids. My pride and joy. I'll be drinking a beer shortly ;)

[nd293]

I pretty much insist mine tidy up properly after using thing - and that they pack away one thing before taking out another. If I find one forgotten piece of a game 20 minutes later, they stop what they're doing and come and pack it away. If I find another piece 3 minutes later, they stop what they're doing and come and pack it away. And if I find another 2 minutes after that ... Obviously having Mom interrupt your new game or reading or TV watching repeatedly gets old pretty quickly - it's much better to make at least a reasonable effort to pack away properly first time, every time. It's not a 100% successful system, but it has shown definite positive results. Of course, it helps to have two kids and have them in school most of the day!

[enviromommy]

Ok, I'm going to have to come out of my long, long lurkdom to say that I literally am on the point of tears of relief reading this and learning that my kids are not the only ones. I've been feeling so down on myself that I can't seem to keep a house nice the way "other people" do. We never have working games and toys, things are all over the house, and sometimes it just seems so hopeless I want to give up and move. (I actually said to DH tonight that I'd like to take a match to the house and start over, and he said "Fine, as long as you make sure we get the insurance for it." LOL)

 

To make things worse, we're trying to sell our house, so I have to have it ready for people to come through, and I'm so humiliated because no matter what I do it often looks horrible. I clean the school room, and 5 minutes later there are little scraps of paper everywhere. Why do they use SO MUCH PAPER?

 

So no, your kids are not the only ones.

[blondeviolin]

I pretty much insist mine tidy up properly after using thing - and that they pack away one thing before taking out another. If I find one forgotten piece of a game 20 minutes later, they stop what they're doing and come and pack it away. If I find another piece 3 minutes later, they stop what they're doing and come and pack it away. And if I find another 2 minutes after that ... Obviously having Mom interrupt your new game or reading or TV watching repeatedly gets old pretty quickly - it's much better to make at least a reasonable effort to pack away properly first time, every time. It's not a 100% successful system, but it has shown definite positive results. Of course, it helps to have two kids and have them in school most of the day!

I do this too. But between the three older kids, the toddler and baby, it gets old. Fast. And for some of my kids, it's not as effective. :glare:

 

So, no. It's not just you.

[Kathryn]

You are not alone!

[Pod's mum]

I am that kid and I'm grown.

Some people can walk through and get things all ordered. I walk through and get things all disordered.

I am the one that has to come through and try and pick up after me though.

[sewingmama]

They sound like mine. Honestly, there are many days that I wonder why I bother cleaning the house because it will be trashed w/in 15 minutes. My kids managed to rip a hole in our couch, so now when I clean, I have to pull the cushions off, look in the hole, and see if anything needs to come out. I've given up on the crayons. They just stay there, but clothes, toys, and books have all ended up inside.

We have the same black hole in our couch - and Im always retrieving things out of it.

 

To OP...yes my house is always like that. They play with one thing...then move on the next and the next. The 4 yo comes in and scatters everything or uses pieces for something else.

 

Its my own fault really. I fall in love with the toys that have a million pieces and my kids have trouble with the cleanup.

 

And yet....I just ordered them Playmobile sets for Christmas and even as I clicked the order button I was already regretting it LOL.

[fraidycat]

I only have 2. Ages 11 and 7, and they are master tornado "artists". Here's the kicker - we are fairly ruthless about decluttering toys, so they don't own a whole lot, but man oh man, they can create chaos in a hurry. Boxes, yarn, pen/cils, paper, tape, and blankets. They can turn my house upside down in a nanosecond!!!

 

Just today, I directed them on cleaning their room, step by step, piece by piece. it was good, but We still had blankets to fold but had to leave for karate for an hour, so gone 1.5 hours. Within 45 minutes of being home, I was cooking supper and heard DH tell them to clean their room!! I had to go look, and sure enough, it was messed up again. Most of the time they were in the main area, begging for food and whining about being hungry, so.... ???? I have no idea how the accomplished the mess so quickly!

[Mom-2-7]

Oh, you are most definitely not alone.

 

I was on the phone this evening and my son brought me the metal rod from the bathroom towel rack. When I asked what happened, I got 7 kids with big innocent eyes saying ,"it wasn't me".

 

So I go upstairs to fix the towel rack and notice that the toy room is messy again. (They just cleaned it this morning). They start bickering. I walk in there to deal with that and notice that the closet door is broken. It's been separated from the frame. Now, that closet only has one door because they did the exact same thing to the other door and I had to remove it.

 

At this point I'm starting to lose my patience. I turn around and spot the remote to the DVD player. The back of the remote had been removed and lost, as were the batteries.

 

All the kids went to be early tonight.

 

And that was just one hour out of one day. All the other hours and days are very similar. Sigh.

[momto10blessings]

Yes this is my house. I just can't keep on top of them the whole day to make sure they don't trash the house. My kids don't understand cleaning up after themselves unless I tell them to. I have spent my whole parenting career trying to get them to clean up after themselves and take care of their belongings. They don't get it at all. We've even made them lose their toys, Legos, games, etc for days/weeks/months and they still don't get it.

[Sara in AZ]

Sounds like my house! No advice here. Just commiseration.

[Ausmumof3]

Mine are just like this too I do find having a bits basket helpful but not perfect

[NASDAQ]

Mine too.

 

My best solution so far has been to pack away various "sets" and only take one out at a time. The playmobil comes out for a couple weeks. Then it goes away and the toy food comes out. That kind of thing. It's an investment of work at the beginning, but it cuts down a lot on the "toy soup" phenomenon.

[LMD]

so not just your kids.

DD spent 5 hours one Saturday cleaning her room. that evening i reminded her to put her clothes away properly. "it's OK, I'll do it later." The next day it was a bomb site again. I've taken toys away saying they obviously have too much if they can't look after it. I've vacuumed lego. We have a play room outside in the garage so i don't have to look at their junk, but it migrates....

[LMD]

Oh, and i literally just told my DS to hang up his towel. Just like i do every. single. night. *eye twitch*

[*Lulu*]

Total commiseration here.

 

I actually feel for my kids because I was the kid growing up who would combine bits and pieces from 4-5 sets of toys into an elaborate playscape and spend hours and days creating these fantastic stories with it. I think it is, in part, why I cannot say, "only one toy out at a time", with a clear conscience.

 

The only things that have helped here, (besides the obvious chocolate, booze, and meds for mom), are a couple of quick clean moments built into the day where the kids understand there will be no food or screens until we're done and the basket. The basket is a large laundry basket where things that get left out are put and anyone who wants their stuff back will have to earn it by doing a chore for mom. I no longer ask 20 times for the Pokemon cards to be picked up from under the table. I ask once. If they are still there after quick clean time....to the basket they go!

 

The kicker is at the end of each month the basket gets emptied. Everything either goes to the trash or donated. (Occasionally I will hold a sale on the 30th and let them buy back clothing, etc.) I like it because it puts the ball firmly back in their court.

[wapiti]

Ok, I'm going to have to come out of my long, long lurkdom to say that I literally am on the point of tears of relief reading this and learning that my kids are not the only ones. I've been feeling so down on myself that I can't seem to keep a house nice the way "other people" do. 

 

This!!!

 

 

Eta, I do a major toy reorganization about once per month, sooner if we are having guests.  The older ones will help, but the bottom line is that I am still the only single person who knows to what group or basket each thing belongs.  My kids are very creative about what toys they can play with simultaneously.  Add in a crafty one, and it can get chaotic here in lego heaven.

 

We have a large family room where most of the toys are (that doesn't mean they don't spread to other rooms, but it limits the spread).  I have the furniture in such a way that the couch blocks the view of most of the lego mess.

 

I just reorganized over the weekend because my mom is visiting and she will make it worse if she cleans up.  I need to go back through with another trash bag and donation bag to make room before Christmas comes (I can only do that when the kids are not home).

[Anne in CA]

I managed, with great anguish from everyone in my family, to keep our home mostly clean in spite of these very tendencies. But it required great decluttering efforts. Even after being the world's most manic declutterer I still had several tense days when we moved from Oregon to CA.

 

Now my kids, 13, 18 and 25 live in a bed and breakfast suit above our bakery/cafe and they made a legendary mess. It turned out to be too much for the 18yo, but the 13yo girl was hot mad when I decided to intervene Flylady style and make them do 15 minutes of cleaning a day when the 25 yo went back to college and I learned that she had not been keeping things as clean as she told me. They like to come to MY clean suite though, lol. They spend all their spare time in my suite where I keep things clean, although they don't want to pick up after themselves here.

[Julie Smith]

My kids do that with all things, except board games. (Unless they bought said game, or were given it for Christmas.)

We have strick rules for board games, and if we borrow from one of our friends we have very strick rules for that game. 

[Punchie]

I am that kid and I'm grown.

Some people can walk through and get things all ordered. I walk through and get things all disordered.

I am the one that has to come through and try and pick up after me though.

 

I am also that kid now grown. You would think that both military school and the military would have knocked it out of me, but no...

[Heidi]

Yeah, I have kids like that, so I got rid of their toys. Well they are all packed in boxes in the attic and I don't plan on rotating them. I have three toys out: super sized Legos (no more tiny toys), stuffed animals, and a train set. They've managed just fine. They have been pretty creative with those few toys. Guess what they're not getting for Christmas? More toys. Back in the day kids didn't have bins and bins of toys to play with. I've decided I wasn't doing them any favors owning every type of toy under the sun. They play outside. They create things out of boxes, sticks, paper, cans, etc. they draw and read. And the house is easily cleaned. Win/win.

[plain jane]

Yeah, I have kids like that, so I got rid of their toys. Well they are all packed in boxes in the attic and I don't plan on rotating them. I have three toys out: super sized Legos (no more tiny toys), stuffed animals, and a train set. They've managed just fine. They have been pretty creative with those few toys. Guess what they're not getting for Christmas? More toys. Back in the day kids didn't have bins and bins of toys to play with. I've decided I wasn't doing them any favors owning every type of toy under the sun. They play outside. They create things out of boxes, sticks, paper, cans, etc. they draw and read. And the house is easily cleaned. Win/win.

That's the thing... It's not just toys. My kids can destroy my house with anything. Paper used for drawings, felts, prized rocks brought in from outside, packaging from boxes, paper airplanes. Oh the paper airplanes!! Ugh. They are everywhere.

 

I wish it were just toys.

[enviromommy]

That's the thing... It's not just toys. My kids can destroy my house with anything. Paper used for drawings, felts, prized rocks brought in from outside, packaging from boxes, paper airplanes. Oh the paper airplanes!! Ugh. They are everywhere.

 

I wish it were just toys.

That's exactly what I was about to say. My 6 year old grabs paper from the paper pile and folds it into all kinds of things, cuts it up into shapes that he wants for his arts and crafts, and then leaves all of it EVERYWHERE. Bits of paper on the floor, folded "things" (I don't know what they are supposed to be") on tables and desks. Empty Scotch tape (don't get me started on Scotch tape!). Pencils. Pen caps. Twisted paper clips. Buttons. Coins. Etc.

 

I feel so much happier and calmer when my house is in order, but the kids just aren't on board.