What to do if your airplane seat-mate is too large for the seat?

[msjones]

What would you do about this?

 

The passenger next to you is too large to fit in the seat and is taking up about a third of your seat.  The plane is completely full.  

 

 

 

 

[Jean in Newcastle]

In my case, that would mean that I wouldn't actually fit my own seat.

[Sun]

I've always suffered silently in the past, but I can see asking for compensation from the airline.

[zoobie]

Hypothetical based on a news story or real life scenario?

 

The flight attendants should handle that and are trained for it. I would defer to them.

[AK_Mom4]

Since I always sit on the aisle (I have to stand up often due to a past blood clot), that would mean that poor person was stuck in the middle seat.  How uncomfortable for everyone!

 

I would sympathize about how small airplanes are these days and just try to make the best of it. 

[elegantlion]

Depends on how long the trip is going to last. Less than two hours, sit awkwardly and make small chit-chat knowing they probably weren't happy about it either. More than that, might discreetly see if I can trade seats with a smaller person. If my son is there, trade with him. I'm not a huge person and I find the seats too small. 

 

If it's longer than that, I don't know. I wouldn't want to make a scene because I'm sure that person is pretty aware of how much of a seat + they take up, but on longer flights I need to wiggle. 

 

I could just mention how motion sick I get and how I hope the Dramamine kicks in on time. Then they might want to move away from me. 

[justasque]

Discuss with flight attendant.  Ask for an aisle seat.  Brainstorm other solutions with flight attendant.
Remember to be nice to everyone involved.

[BigMamaBird]

I would treat them as I would want to be treated.  But I would be annoyed as all get out if I had paid hundreds of dollars for a flight and had someone mashed up against me in my personal space the whole time.  

[gingersmom]

Happened to me over the summer on a very long 4 hour flight.

[OrganicAnn]

I've had it happen.   It was a very nice college student.  He was just a big guy and stuck in the middle seat.    Luckily it was a short flight so we weren't uncomfortable for that long. 

 

Why can't they make some seats bigger?   

[Dandelion]

That's happened to me a few times.  Thankfully, the plane was never completely full so I just asked to be reseated.  On flights that were half empty, I didn't even ask - I just moved to another seat.

 

If the plane had been full, as in the OP's scenario, I would just make the best of it. No point in asking to be reseated if there are no seats.  I might consider mentioning something to a flight attendant though, in order to potentially get credit for a future flight. IMO when you've paid for a seat, and then don't get to fully utilize your seat, you're entitled to some kind of compensation. 

[Anne in CA]

Happened to me on a flight from Istanbul to NY. I was miserable. I drank a lot of wine. The man next to me just did not fit and his arm was way over the armrest and his leg was mashed up against me too. There was no hope of trading with a smaller person, I am a size 6, so there were not many people smaller than me on the plane, other than my youngest dd who had the man's brother/ friend's arm in her seat. I spent most of the flight making sure the man knew that I was watching his fingers and he better not touch my little girl. I wanted to get the flight attendant to make them trade so that they were mashed against each other, but the reality was that they just wouldn't fit into two seats next to each other. I think that airlines need to have seats for these people. I think it's fair to charge more, but I was unhappy to have a strange man with his arm against my 12yo dd's side. 

[Annie G]

I hope I would realize the person is doing the best they can in the situation, and that I would deal with a few hours of being in a tight spot.  It's not like the person is doing anything wrong- not drinking too much and being obnoxious or anything.   Like several folks have said upthread- airplane seats are small even for skinny people. I imagine airplane travel is always uncomfortable for heavy people. I can deal with it for a few hours. No big deal. 

[Sisyphus]

It's happened to me, on an I terminational flight no less. I was aisle, hubby and kids across from me. A very large woman came up, and stood awkwardly looking at her ticket, and the seat, and me, and the (large ish man) sitting in the window seat. I asked her if the middle was hers, and she turned so red and said "I'm sorry, it is. I don't know if I will fit". My heart just broke for the poor lady. I moved middle (I am very small) and the window guy and I both put our armrests up and she just fit, with me in part of the guys seat and her in mine and hers. It was uncomfortable, true, but geez, I felt so bad for her. And a bonus, since I wasn't next to them any more dh had to deal with the kids the whole way, I've flown alone with them many times and so it was a great break for me, squished or no, lol.

 

I figure my cat howling for 14 hours on a flight from Asia (we are moving, what could we do?) drives people batty. Kids crying drive people batty. People throwing up or wearing too much perfume drives people batty. An airplane ride is pretty much guaranteed to make someone or everyone uncomfortable, annoyed and stressed, but that is how it goes. You just deal as politely and calmly as you can and get through it.

[In The Great White North]

 

 

Why can't they make some seats bigger? 

 

 

 

I think that airlines need to have seats for these people. I think it's fair to charge more, 

 

They do.  It's called Business Class.  If a person knows they won't fit in the Economy Class seat, they should pay for the seat they will fit in.  

 

It's really not fair to take half of someone else's seat (that they paid for).  It's not the other person's fault they don't like the price of a Business Class seat.

 

ETA.  For the last few years, many airlines have had a few seats that are "premium" seats (bulkheads, exit rows, etc).  Some of these are only two in a row when the rest of Economy is three.  They are usually only $30-$60 more and you buy them when you choose your seat.

 

[Sara in AZ]

This happened on my most recent flight. Luckily I was sitting next to my sister and could lean in close.

[LucyStoner]

The only time it bothers me is when I get a seat next to one of those guys (who is usually not any bigger than man sized me and I fit in an airline seat just fine with the armrests down) who seems to think he is entitled to spread his legs and arms wide and hog the arm rests and all of my leg room.  I don't really mind if someone is close to me because they are heavy.  I mind if someone is close to me because they are sitting expansively and selfishly.  You know the guys.  It's like their family jewels need to be properly aired at all times and folding their arms across their own body is just too much of a hassle for their hugely important selves.  When I end up next to someone like that, I will tell them to squeeze back into their own space or I will do pretty much anything to move.  Once I just mimicked the guy's sitting position until he got the message and started to sit like a person and not a dude bro again.  

[SKL]

LOL!  Been there and done that!  Funny thing is that before she sat down, I was lifting up my bag and the handle of my bag accidentally pulled up the arm rest between her seat and mine.  She thought I was doing it to make more room for her, and sweetly thanked me!  At that point I was toast.  LOL.  She did take up at least a third of my seat, so I scrinched over (I was a healthy weight myself).  It would have been worse if it were a man.

 

All in all, I liked that better than the guy whose deodorant had worn off before the flight started . . . .

[LucyStoner]

Yes! Have you seen the Tumblr "movement" about this?

 

No, I have not but I need to go find it now.  ;)

[msjones]

OP here. 

 

The plane was full. I knew I couldn't be reseated, and I felt bad for her -- she was a sweet lady.  She had the window seat and struggled to even get over to her seat.  I didn't want to draw attention to the situation so I didn't.  I was very uncomfortable. So was she, I'm sure.

 

It was a bad situation for us both -- one that I think the airlines should address, but I'm not sure how.  That's why I asked here.  

[msjones]

LOL!  Been there and done that!  Funny thing is that before she sat down, I was lifting up my bag and the handle of my bag accidentally pulled up the arm rest between her seat and mine.  She thought I was doing it to make more room for her, and sweetly thanked me!  At that point I was toast.  LOL.  She did take up at least a third of my seat, so I scrinched over (I was a healthy weight myself).  It would have been worse if it were a man.

 

All in all, I liked that better than the guy whose deodorant had worn off before the flight started . . . .

 

The no-deodorant would be worse -- no question!

 

And, yes, it would have been much worse if it were a man filling 1/3 of my seat.  I thought of that during the flight.

[Amy in NH]

BIL was told by an airline staff that he would need to purchase two seats next time he flew.  He was sitting in a row with my sister and their son, so he wasn't inconveniencing anyone outside his immediate family.  He was pretty mortified. 

 

He's since lost more than 100 lb.

[msjones]

I hope I would realize the person is doing the best they can in the situation, and that I would deal with a few hours of being in a tight spot.  It's not like the person is doing anything wrong- not drinking too much and being obnoxious or anything.   Like several folks have said upthread- airplane seats are small even for skinny people. I imagine airplane travel is always uncomfortable for heavy people. I can deal with it for a few hours. No big deal. 

 

A few hours is one thing...a long and expensive flight is another.

 

And I didn't mean to suggest she was doing something wrong per se.  But she was sitting in part of my seat.

 

Again, she was a nice lady.  I wasn't angry, exactly, but it was a problem.  If someone pays for a seat they should have a whole seat.  Shouldn't they?

 

Someone said the flight attendants are "trained" to deal with this.  What do they do?  I didn't ask because I didn't want to embarrass my seat-mate.

[SKL]

I do feel sympathy for these people, but it's true, we pay a lot of $$ for our airline seats, and it seems reasonable to expect to have the whole skinny miserable thing.  ;)  I'm sure they'd move a complaining person if there was someplace to move him/her to, but on a full flight, I don't know what they would do . . . .

[msjones]

In my case, that would mean that I wouldn't actually fit my own seat.

 

I wondered what would have happened if I were her size, too.  I'm a size 6, so it 'worked' -- meaning we could both manage to be in two seats.  I just didn't get a whole seat.  

[Joker]

I've only had it happen once (I fly only when absolutely necessary) and I didn't say a word. I would feel horrible if someone ended up missing their flight because I said something about their size. It would be more uncomfortable to me knowing I did that to someone that it would be to just suck it up for the flight.

[Shellydon]

I thought that airlines had a policy of someone over X pounds had to purchase two tickets. 

[LucyStoner]

I thought that airlines had a policy of someone over X pounds had to purchase two tickets. 

 

That wouldn't work.  Pounds wear differently on different people.  Circumference doesn't neatly match weight due to body composition and height.  A 175 pound woman who is 6 feet tall would most certainly fit in the seat.  A 175 pound woman who is 5 feet tall might not.  

 

Then I have a friend who bought two seats because he is pretty big and they tried to put someone in his "spare seat" when they overbooked the flight.  Airlines have really inconsistent policies and enforcement of this issue.  

[Amy in NH]

I thought that airlines had a policy of someone over X pounds had to purchase two tickets. 

 

Yes, but they have no way to know until there is a problem.  You don't have to enter your weight when purchasing the ticket, and even if you did people might not be truthful.  They don't weigh you at check in.  So the policy is really only there to cover them when a problem of this sort occurs.

[Catwoman]

They do. It's called Business Class. If a person knows they won't fit in the Economy Class seat, they should pay for the seat they will fit in.

 

It's really not fair to take half of someone else's seat (that they paid for). It's not the other person's fault they don't like the price of a Business Class seat.

 

ETA. For the last few years, many airlines have had a few seats that are "premium" seats (bulkheads, exit rows, etc). Some of these are only two in a row when the rest of Economy is three. They are usually only $30-$60 more and you buy them when you choose your seat.

They would reseat the person into business class, charging them the extra amount or they would have them miss their flight until the customer could purchase two seats. Which they should have done in the first place. I've seen it happen.

Even first class seats aren't anywhere near as large as they used to be, so don't count on a very large person fitting in those seats without some "overhang," either. There was a very large man on one of our recent flights, and he looked so uncomfortable in his first class seat -- I can't even imagine how he could have fit into a coach seat. (I know it's kind of mean, but I was glad that I didn't get stuck sitting next to him. My cat flies in the cabin with me, and we like our personal space. ;))

 

Generally speaking, I'm in the "suck it up and deal with it" camp, because I wouldn't want to embarrass the person, but if the person was nasty or rude, I'd consider their bad attitude to be the permission I needed to complain to the flight attendant.

[Kerileanne99]

This has happened to me several times on long international flights. Always very aggravating for all. And I do think that the airline is responsible on some level, especially because people seem to keep getting larger on the whole and the seats seem to keep shrinking as the airline tries to squeeze out more of a profit.

 

That being said, I have relatives in the UK who have never visited for fear of not fitting into their seat and being unwilling to purchase two seats...their choice. Yes, a lot of factors involved, but still...their choice.

 

The best solution I have been a party to was on an international flight from NY to Frankfurt. I was recovering from hip surgery and was very uncomfortable anyway, and had to sit kind of sideways in my seat. I weighed about 100 pounds then, but the guy next to me literally could not be contained in his seat. I felt for the man, but there was no way I could handle it. And honestly, shouldn't have had to.

Instead of moving him, they moved ME! Right to business class:) much more comfortable.

Now days I doubt they would even consider such a solution as this situation is becoming very common and complaints are more common as well.

[Ripley]

I just retired; prior to retirement, I flew an average of 90,000 miles per year.

 

In my experience, flight attendants are (1) not trained in how to handle a POS, and (2) not always willing/able to become involved due to other duties during boarding - most often I heard: "Take your bags, go back up and see the agent working the flight." They're under pressure from the agents and the company to board in increasingly unreasonable timeframes on the altar of the On-Time Departure.

 

POS = people of size, and as mentioned up-thread it's completely subjective.  The agent may or may not (1) be on the ball, (2) feel comfortable saying something, or (3) have the manpower to spare to deal with the problem, choosing instead to put the POS on the plane and make it the problem of someone else (be that the flight attendant or fellow passenger). Another factor tying in with #3 is that the agent may not be willing to make that call, risk the making of a scene (be that embarrassing or setting off the POS). It's a sensitive topic, ripe for media and threats of a lawsuit for emotional damages, etc. etc. etc. Even if the issue stops at the agent being berated by an irate POS, he doesn't feel he's paid enough to deal with the fallout of attempted enforcement an arbitrary rule that the company won't back him on; so he makes it someone else's problem.

 

Not to excuse the agent, but that's how I saw it.

 

One other thing I saw is an agent letting the POS know another seat needed to be purchased, but due to how the person paid for the original ticket ... it was necessary to go back out through security to the ticket counter to pay the difference.  With so few people paying the airline directly, which would allow the airline to bill the card on file right there at the gate, this is the extra step that might screw the pooch for the POS's seatmate. A sympathetic agent might say, "Okay, we'll let you go but next time ...." and allow the POS to board.  This is true if connections are involved, or if it's the last flight of the day or (more commonly) if all flights on that route are oversold and there's no way the POS is going to get out on a later flight.

 

To the OP, it's happened to me. I suck it up. I figure it's no fun for the POS either. I agree with the poster who said the seatmate I WILL say something to is the guy who spreads his legs and hogs both armrests. I don't so much mind an invasion of my personal space when the person is just as uncomfortable as I am (in fact, I've been that person as a nursing mom) but I do mind the invasion if the person is just an inconsiderate jack***s.

[bettyandbob]

You know those racks some airlines have in the boarding area for passengers to demonstrate they can carry on the luggage they have with them before getting on the plane? You have to put your bag in the rack. I've seen agents require passengers check luggage when demonstration showed the bag did not fit. I wonder if we will get to the point where a person may have to demonstrate fitting in the seat before boarding.

 

I know as checked luggage fees have been implemented some industry analysts are discussing charging by total weight. When you arrived to check in you and your luggage would be step on a large scale. There would be a fee if you were over. I'm sure there would still be a flat per bag rate too. But total weight per ticket makes sense because weight affects fuel use.

 

The total weight thing would not change the problem of the 5'3" 200lb person fitting in the seat. I do think there should a requirement to pay for the real estate (seat amount) you are using. The airlines are now penalizing tall people by asking for more money to get leg room. It would essentially be the same thing.

 

I saw a recent story showing how an airline is going to make seats even smaller. The new seats will be 2" narrower. There will be less padding too so the rows can be even closer together. I think I could barely get my rear in such a seat and I think closer rows would mean that at 5'8" my legs wouldn't fit.

[Laurie4b]

This has never happened to me and I've only flown on an international flight once, but I don't know how I would handle it because I have joint problems and being that squished would not be good for me healthwise. I guess I would have to stand the whole flight, or take turns with dh doing that, except when forced to sit. Definitely would make an unpleasant flight (for me it's painful) even more so.

 

To be fair, the airline could develop charts, like they have charts for clothing sizes in catalogs. They should be able to figure out a way to measure for seat size, taking measurement of thighs, butt, etc. Then passengers who weren't going to fit would know right then at purchase time. They could either purchase a seat upgrade or two seats.  If they chose to lie, could be more forthrightly addressed because they had a chance to take care of it.  Agents wouldn't then be embarrassing someone in an unfortunate position but dealing with someone who had committed fraud by misrepresenting themselves.

 

 

[nevergiveup]

Larger people know they are larger and whether or not they need two seats.

 

If they cannot fit into the seat they purchased, they must purchase two.

 

If they get on the plane and cannot fit, they are asked to leave.

 

You are the one responsible and not the airline.  You lie, you do not fly.

[TravelingChris]

I remember being stuck on a LA to St. Louis redeye between an enormous woman and my son in a car seat.  I was thin then.  It was truly a nightmarish experience including that the flight took much longer since one woman decided to deplane before we left LA. Fortunately for me, the woman got off in St. Louis while I continued to DC.  I could never have this happen to me again.  i need to have aisle seats since I am required to walk around during the flight in order not to develop a DVT or PE.

[Annie G]

A few hours is one thing...a long and expensive flight is another.

 

And I didn't mean to suggest she was doing something wrong per se.  But she was sitting in part of my seat.

 

Again, she was a nice lady.  I wasn't angry, exactly, but it was a problem.  If someone pays for a seat they should have a whole seat.  Shouldn't they?

 

Someone said the flight attendants are "trained" to deal with this.  What do they do?  I didn't ask because I didn't want to embarrass my seat-mate.

 

I didn't mean to imply that you were angry or not entitled to your whole seat- you paid for a seat and should have it. But since the plane was full, there probably wasn't anything the flight attendants could do about it. The thread title asked what to do- in this situation, there wasn't really anything you could have done.  I'm impressed that you were gracious about it- travel these days is stressful and it's not always easy to keep our cool. 

 

And yeah, a short flight is different than a long one- we took a 12 hour flight this summer and if that had happened to me, I would have had a talk with the flight attendant privately.  I would have tried to obtain some compensation for an uncomfortable 12 hour flight. So somewhere between 2 and 12 hours is where my tolerance level diminishes. 

 

Again, I'm sorry if my reply made you feel that I was picking on you. Not my intent at all. I'm working on showing more grace in situations where people are doing the best they can, and that's where my mind was going- my own tendencies to not always be as kind as I can be. 

[BigMamaBird]

Am I the only one take aback a bit every time I read POS?  I know you're all using it to mean Person of Size, but in my neck of the woods it means something COMPLETELY different and it's a bit shocking to see someone referred to as such.

[ThatHomeschoolDad]

Ask for extra booze.

 

Directional stealth farts, perhaps?

[bettyandbob]

Am I the only one take aback a bit every time I read POS?  I know you're all using it to mean Person of Size, but in my neck of the woods it means something COMPLETELY different and it's a bit shocking to see someone referred to as such.

 

I'd never heard of Person of Size either. 

 

The first thing I thought of is Program of Study, but I teach at a private alternative school and one thing I have to do is piece together odds and ends of what some people have completed and try to figure out what to put in Program of Study will get the quickest route to graduation. 

[Kerileanne99]

Am I the only one take aback a bit every time I read POS? I know you're all using it to mean Person of Size, but in my neck of the woods it means something COMPLETELY different and it's a bit shocking to see someone referred to as such.

I know exactly what you mean, and it keeps flitting across my brain when I read POS...

[Kerileanne99]

This thread brought to mind an anecdote, so I had to go check my library for the source...

 

During the late 1980's the then- president of Olive Garden restaurants (Ron Magruder) fielded a phone call complaint. The call had been forwarded through the chain of command as nobody knew what to do about it.

A man named 'Larry' was very, very upset that he had waited over 90 minutes for his table, only to fun that his local restaurant did not have a single chair or booth in which he could fit comfortably.

Magruder (who was a bit portly himself) was sympathetic. He immediately ordered 1000 oversized chairs and distributed three to every restaurant. (They have since made ALL of their chairs oversized)

 

Two months later, in a follow-up query to see if 'Larry' was happy with the solution a surprising answer came. Whilst the restaurant had been busy trying to accomodate Larry's girth, he had been busy as well...losing that girth. It turns out that he was very grateful. That too-small chair turned into the impetus he needed to confront his weight problem.

 

Now, this is obviously an oversimplification of the entire issue. There are myriad reasons people are different weights and sizes. And I don't think that judgment or harsh, one-size-fits-all restrictions are the answer either. But, as previous posters have said, they are fully aware of the issue. At some point there WILL have to be rules put into place and enforced.

 

And as far as reseating goes...I don't think this really solve much either, as generally what it means I to find someone small to place them next to....which simply penalizes a smaller person who now gets only 2/3 of their seat.

[msjones]

It might be helpful to the POS people (not the ones with the pro football player builds) if they understood that they could engage an air ambulance.  It certainly would be safer, since many of them don't have the mobility to evacuate the plane if that becomes necessary. I don't know about you, but I can't see any of the morbidly obese people in my extended family walking out on the wing, waiting for the rescue boat or getting onto the slide. They just don't have that much mobility.

 

I had lots of time to think during my flight, so I was thinking of just this issue.

 

This passenger had difficulty getting into her seat (the aisle and the 'legroom' between seats were both too narrow for her).  She would have blocked the aisle somewhat during an evacuation.  

 

Of course, there are other people who would have trouble evacuating as well -- the elderly, parents with little ones, very ill passengers, etc.

[SKL]

Yeah, in my neck of the woods, POS means piece of $h!t.  The airlines might want to rethink that particular acronym.  I am sure heavy people already feel badly enough.

 

I like the idea of making people confirm at the time of ordering their ticket that their butt will fit into the seat, and if not, they fly only if they buy 2 tickets.  And they could also have a notice in the terminal, e.g., "this plane has seats as wide as this sample.  If you cannot fit in this size seat, see the agent about options available to you."  They could discreetly go to the agent and figure out what to do - buy an adjacent seat, upgrade, reschedule, or find another mode of transport.  Then if someone gets thrown off for being too big, they should have seen it coming vs. being shocked and mortified.  There should also be a way for them to charge an additional amount on the ticket right there on the plane.  I mean, you can buy alcohol and such on planes, right?  Why not an additional seat?  Assuming it's not a completely full flight.  Another possibility is to let the heavy person have a jump seat where there is nobody right up against them.  Not the most comfy, but it seems more fair than making another person get squished or hurt.

 

You can't go by weight or BMI because everyone carries it differently.  I had a portly friend who needed a seatbelt extender for his pot belly, but had no trouble fitting into his seat width-wise.

[SailorMom]

I have a lot of empathy for POS.  I promise I'm not a jerk about it.  I'm not a POS, in fact - I'm really small (short and narrow), and I feel very lucky that I got the genes I did.... well - I wouldn't mind being taller...

Anyway - that said - I have actually been in severe pain from trying to accommodate people in air plane seats.  I've walked off planes with bruises all over.  I'm not as upset having to squish next to a woman if it's only mild squishing, but I am extremely uncomfortable having to "cuddle" with a large man.  I'm more angry at the airlines for putting me in that position than the people I sit next to.  If they aren't made to pay for 2 seats, why would they?

However, I do think they should have to.  If they are going to take up 2 seats, pay for them.  I paid for a seat, that - even as small as I am - is small; and uncomfortable - so, I should get to use more than 1/2 of it.

I will say something to the flight attendant in the future.  It is not safe, and I paid a lot of money for that already too-small seat.  However, I would try very hard to not let the POS hear me complain.  If the flight is full, I'll ask for compensation. 

Only if people pitch enough fits will the airlines do anything. 

Oh - and have ya'll heard some airlines are making the seats even smaller???

[Cera]

It has happened to me and I made it very clear to the flight staff that it was a safety issue and I expected them to do something about it.  I believe they put the person on a later flight as there were no additional seats on our flight for them to buy (and this was someone who clearly knew before arriving at the airport that they wouldn't fit in one coach airline seat.  

 

If I pay hundreds of dollars for something I expect to get what I pay for, whether that is a diamond bracelet (I would never give someone 1/4 of my bracelet because they wanted it) or an airline seat.  It is also a definite safety issue.  If I am squished beside someone who can't quickly and easily get in and out of their seat I am not going to be able to get off the plane in an emergency.  

 

I certainly don't think airline seats are perfect but flying is a choice and if you need a second seat to fit properly in only your space then buy one or don't fly.

[elfgivas]

many thoughts, not all of them rational. 

 

it took me until i was in my 30s before i was able to suggest to a waiter that the meal they had brought me was not what i ordered/was uncooked/was overcooked/had inedible items included in it.  however, i had no trouble returning an item to a store if it didn't work right out of the box/was broken/didn't have all its parts, etc, etc.

 

i figured out it had to do with vulnerability and relationship. 

 

re planes.  flight attendents are there to be helpful.  the ones i know would never want you to suffer in silence.  they may or may not be able to help, but they would do their best.  ie.  they aren't mind readers, and need us to say something.  airline policy is driven by profitability.  if you aren't happy, you will fly with someone else.  the flight attendents would love there to be a policy that everyone followed.  the only way that is possible is if there are a great list of concerned people who have brought the difficulty to their attention. 

 

back to vulnerability and relationship.... rather than using the call button, you could go directly to the flight attendent and say: i need your help.  the person beside me doesn't fit in their seat.  one of us needs a new seat.  i didn't want to embarrass them, but this isn't going to work. 

 

and then go with the flow.  but if the outcome isn't desirable, then ask: what can i do to make sure this doesn't happen to me again?  and take it up the chain until you at least have a free flight offered.

 

really.

 

ann

[SKL]

I find it hard to picture going to the flight attendant without the large person realizing it.  Especially if (as was my experience) the heavy person has the aisle seat.  Kind of hard to unobtrusively get out of your middle / window seat with that kind of obstruction.  Plus, there is always a big rush to get everyone seated with their belts on etc., don't you dare move because the seatbelt lights are on .....

 

I don't believe the flight attendants don't notice this is an issue.  They go up and down checking to see if your seatbelt is on.  They look at everyone's waist.  They certainly notice if Ms. Large's waist extends well into Ms. Average's seat.  I could understand them being embarrassed to say anything, but sometimes uncomfortable things need to be said.

[Soror]

I really wouldn't want to hurt anyone's feelings but I also really believe that it is ridiculous to pay for something and not be able to use it because someone else chooses not to pay for what they need.  I've honestly never flown before but in that situation I think it would depend on how squished I was,  how the person squishing me was acting, and who it was.  If this is some big arrogant non-deodorant wearing jerk than I'd not be very inclined to suck it up and deal with it.

[LucyStoner]

Am I the only one take aback a bit every time I read POS? I know you're all using it to mean Person of Size, but in my neck of the woods it means something COMPLETELY different and it's a bit shocking to see someone referred to as such.

I've never heard POS mean person of size. And I live in the PC capital of the world.

 

Here POS is point of sale if you work in tech or retail and, as I suspect it is to you, something else entirely. POS would be that guy pressing his legs against yours and draping his arms over your torso who hits on you when you tell him to stop. Not the heavy person who is mortified they can't get the armrest down.