CTmom Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 So I see this tag “I will change the world by…†online and i asked my DS, almost 16, how would you finish it and he tells me, "Mom, nothing I would do would change the world. I know my place in the world" Then he tells me that this is what Avenue Q is about. Parents tell the kids that they can change the world, but don't teach them to deal with the disappointments. (His high school spring play is the high school version of Avenue Q. (From wiki: Avenue Q is an "autobiographical and biographical" coming-of-age parable, addressing and satirizing the issues and anxieties associated with entering adulthood. Its characters lament that as children, they were assured by their parents, and by children's television programs such as PBS's Sesame Street, that they were "special" and "could do anything"; but as adults, they have discovered to their surprise and dismay that in the real world their options are limited, and they are no more "special" than anyone else) So after I have a few mins to digest that, I tell him, DS, I am OK if you don't change THE WORLD, but I sure hope that you will change the world for at least a few people, preferably for the better J and I quoted from one his favorite movies: "It’s a wonderful life" Clarence to George Bailey: Strange, isn't it? Each man's life touches so many other lives. When he isn't around he leaves an awful hole, doesn't he? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milovany Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 I have enough trouble just trying to change me -- I probably don't have enough time left to change the world too. Loved your son's insight and answer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freckles Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 I think your son is very wise for his age! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hoot Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 I think I need to see Avenue Q. Your son's outlook is very similar to my own and I think he is very wise for his age. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 Like the quote from it's a wonderful life I think we do change the world as we live our lives. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassenach Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 I believe the best way to change the world is to be a loyal friend, faithful spouse, and good parent. I'll let you all decide for yourselves what I mean by "good." For me, this means walking in obedience to the life Jesus has called me to. I know a lot of people whose world's would have been changed for the better had they had those 3 things. However, I get what your son is saying and I do agree with him on some level. And I need to look up Avenue Q. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 I'm only responsible for changing my own life. Because we do affect others around us, that will have a domino effect - sometimes positive and sometimes negative. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dbmamaz Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 I'm going to have my son take this coursera course: https://www.coursera.org/course/changetheworld Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ripley Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 My grandma said to remember that you're always serving as an example to others, and it was up to you to be the good example or the bad one. I guess that's how I see my role in changing the world: to be one or the other, and inspiring people one way or the other! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 Smart kid. I remember having similar thoughts when I was a kid in school and it was common to tell us stuff like we could be president if we wanted. What a bunch of crap. LOL Yes that is what went through my head at 13, 14, 15, 16. And I will NEVER forget the time a teacher was asking us what we wanted to 'be' when we grew up. One boy said NFL player...and everyone laughed. Well, not me... I found that to be one of the most painful memories of my school days. They laughed because they were mean, but in all honesty the chances were slim to none that kid would play NFL football. My mom was very practical. She wanted me to be self sufficient, moral, healthy and happy. She didn't even try to get me to live up to my full academic potential...partly I think because she didn't value it the way many do and partly because she was busy trying to keep a roof over our heads and food on the table. With my own son, I do try harder to get him to live up to his potential...he is very smart and he should not throw that away. But I still hope for him the same things my mom did. To be able to support himself in a reasonable manner, to find a good wife, have children, be happy and healthy and moral. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lavender's green Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 I cannot change the world, but I can affect my own little corner of it. For me that means being a good wife, mother, friend, and neighbor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dandelion Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 Hmmm. I have a different reaction to the Avenue Q message. I'm all for realism. I don't believe in raising "special snowflakes". But at the same time, I don't believe in unnecessarily limiting yourself either. That's my issue with the apparent message of the Avenue Q production (granted, I'm just going by what's been posted in the OP). All great ideas, discoveries, inventions, and accomplishments - many of them world-changing - first originated with an individual. Many of these individuals were quite average, but they believed in themselves and their ideas. They didn't artificially limit themselves. They were persistent, and they kept trying, despite failing dozens or even hundreds of times. Yes, all kinds of other factors come into play as well. There is something to be said for being in the right place at the right time in history. But I doubt that people like Thomas Edison, who changed the world with his invention of the light bulb, spend much time reflecting on their limits. I believe people who ultimately change the world - or their part of the world - challenge and push limits. Teaching kids about the value of persistence, and getting back up after you've been knocked down, has value. Teaching kids that "their options are limited" (as referenced in the OP) does not IMO. Like everyone who responded in this thread, I want my kids to grow up to be happy, productive adults who create fulfilling lives for themselves and have a positive impact on their immediate community. I don't expect them to change the world. But I'm leaving that door open. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edelweiss Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 Another person who thinks that you son is very wise. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Onceuponatime Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 I think this is similar to the extrovert/introvert question. We have global (big picture) people and local (detailed)people. They are both right, in their own way. If we are looking at "Change the world" as something big and earth shattering, sure it is usually unrealistic to think any one person can change the world, at least not intentionally. But if we think locally, even as small as just our own actions and reactions, then we can call in the philosophical "butterfly effect" and say, "Yes, you can change the world." But you may never know if you did. I think the point is that it is too much pressure to tell a child to change the world in a global way. That is like a recipe for depression or worse. But to show them how they can change their own small corner of the world would be inspirational. What kind of life is just existing without purpose or intention? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momacacia Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 We can only change ourselves, other people are responsible to change themselves. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Onceuponatime Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 Yeah if I dig a hole in my back yard I have "changed the world". I gouged out a piece of dirt in the earth. Not saying that is anything profound, but why do only the profound things matter? Heck, how many profound things are there really? I think there is an infinite number of profound things: Smiling, singing, laughing, planting a garden (digging a hole), holding a hand, sharing a cup of coffee, reading a book............. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LucyStoner Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 I do not suffer from special snowflake syndrome but I believe that I have made a large impact in the world around me, some small stuff and some larger stuff. I've started an organization that is having a large impact on an issue that matters. I've lobbied successfully on political issues that matter. I have plans for down the road. I know my place in the world but it is not constrained to not making change around me. I don't think it sounds wise. I think it sounds defeatist and in some instances lazy. I have an obligation to help rather than merely observe those around me. Just because someone isn't Gandhi or Steve Jobs doesn't mean they can't change the world. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dandelion Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 I do not suffer from special snowflake syndrome but I believe that I have made a large impact in the world around me, some small stuff and some larger stuff. I've started an organization that is having a large impact on an issue that matters. I have have plans for down the road. I know my place in the world but it is not constrained to not making change around me. I don't think it sounds wise. I think it sounds defeatist and in some instances lazy. I have an obligation to help rather than merely observe those around me. Well said. "Defeatist" is exactly how this came across to me as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tabinfl Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 Brings to mind the starfish story. Am I changing the world? Maybe not, or maybe not right now, but I'm certainly doing something to change my corner of it. Who knows what the ripple effect of that will be? Who knows what opportunities will come my way tomorrow, or next year? I agree with the people who mentioned persistence. The people who do change the world are rarely people who are just launched to that position from the get-go, they're the ones who don't take "no" for an answer and who, as they say, get up one more time than they get knocked down. Sure, some begin with more advantages than others, but that doesn't lock out anyone else. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mytwomonkeys Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 I love the quote by Mother Teresa: "If you can't feed a hundred people, then feed just one". I agree it is difficult for one person to have a huge impact, but if we all do our part, I do believe together we can change the world. But I also believe in love songs. So take my opinion with a grain of salt :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 When ds was little I did tell him he could be whatever he wanted. At 7 he wanted to fly jets and land on aircraft carriers. I bit my tongue and told him he could do that if he wanted. You know, I worked for a guy who had done just that. He wasn't special, he set a goal and worked toward it. At 16, I don't tell my son he can do anything. I quit telling him that about age 12. I tell him he can be what he is willing to work toward. He doesn't want to fly jets anymore, or play poker professionally, or direct movie, or be a Lego master, but he explored all of those passions before age 12. Passionate, caring, hard working people can change the world, it just is determined by how you define change and how you define your world. I change my world a little bit every day by getting up and doing a little more than I did the day before. This has been the most chaotic year of my life. I want to stay in bed, but I have to "be the change you want to see in the world" to my son. I want him to know that it's okay to play through the pain and hurt and agony of life because he matters, I matter, and today matters. In the end, humanity and this world matter. Will *i* matter in 50 years or a 100? Probably not, but the ripples of the trying a little harder, being a little brighter, working a little longer, giving up just a little bit less may create something that changes the world of my descendants. Maybe it just makes them braver, maybe it just makes them more stubborn. I don't know. Change is one of the only constants in life, We all have a hand in changing it for the better or the worse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mytwomonkeys Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 I agree. I think it's equally disturbing to think that nothing one does matters. A person doesn't have to be famous or extraordinary to do something positive. I agree. For me, my desire is to leave this planet having contributed more than I consumed. If I do that much, I will have made a positive impact IMO. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MerryAtHope Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 Smart kid.I remember having similar thoughts when I was a kid in school and it was common to tell us stuff like we could be president if we wanted. We were told this consistently too, and I've always felt it set kids up for disappointment and needless feelings of inadequacy. Every person has value, and I think they were trying to communicate that--but then they countered their message by making the source of that value a person's potential and achievements. I like the OP's son's response! I do agree that we impact those around us, but few people truly impact "the world." That doesn't mean our lives and our choices don't make a difference--to the contrary, they do! In fact, I think the impact can be more positive when we aren't thinking about "changing the world." That makes it seem like only big things and big people are important. But there are people around us and in our lives every day for whom kindness and consideration make a big difference. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 Well I do. :lol: Do you suffer or do you enjoy it? :001_tt2: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted November 16, 2013 Share Posted November 16, 2013 I don't want to change the world, I'm not looking for a new England... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted November 16, 2013 Share Posted November 16, 2013 A line from a country song Happiness on earth isn't just for high achievers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Uff Da! Posted November 16, 2013 Share Posted November 16, 2013 I think the movie "The Constant Gardener" addresses this. Rachel Weisz's character wants to give a woman a ride and Ralph Fienne's character doesn't see what the point of helping is. She retorts that they can make a difference for this one person or family. (It's been a while since I've seen the movie or read the book so please excuse the poor recreation) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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