Family in the Delivery Room

[Rubix]

What family members have you chosen to be in the delivery room? 

 

Would you make the same choice again?

 

Anyone you wish you had not let be there? 

 

DD was a C-Section, so just DH and me.  When DS was born VBAC I strongly felt that just DH and I should be there.  This time though, DD really wants to be present.  It would also mean my mom would be there as a support person for DD if she needed to leave for any reason.  I know my mom would like to be there as well.  She had only C-Sections and has never seen a birth. 

 

I still haven't decided what I am comfortable with, and thought I'd see what others had done and were comfortable with!

 

[Catwoman]

My dh.

 

Only my dh.

 

Nobody else (except for the doctors and nurses and a very sweet medical student who kept asking if he could get me anything from the coffee shop.)

 

If I had it to do over again, I'd do it exactly the same way.

 

But if I'd known any face painters, jugglers, or bearded ladies at the time, I'm sure I would be voting for a different option in the poll right now. ;)

[TechWife]

Just me & dh. I just don't think it's a time for anyone else as it is a very intimate time.

[Whereneverever]

#1- medical personnel, my mom

#2- medical personnel, friends

#3- medical personnel, my dh, older kids

#4- medical personnel, my dh, mil, older kids

 

I think each line up was right for the moment and was fine.

[mom2myboys]

Just me and DH. I agree about it being an intimate time. I would definitely make the same choice again.

[Word Nerd]

DH and my sister were there for my first baby's delivery. Only DH was there for my second.

[Supertechmom]

Only dh and medical professionals. All not by my choice. I would have so much rather just gone out in the backwoods , had my babies and then come home. Hubby nixed that, nixed home birth, and then was irritated when I joked about him not being in the room. So I compromised and let him and the medical people watch me have babies. (My labors are really quick and only one birth was the baby actually delivered by the dr. The rest came out while they were busy getting things together or gloved or prepared or not around)

[Orthodox6]

DH and medical personnel.  Would not ever even consider any other people. 

[LucyStoner]

Unless you were there for the conception or are the medical staff responsible to assist (or perform surgery) then you are NOT coming anywhere near my labor and delivery room and you can stay away after the baby is born for a least a day. That is just my opinion. When my MIL and parents showed up at the hospital and tried to squat in my room they were shown the waiting room.

[Just Kate]

For both of my kids I had my dh, my mom, and my aunt (my mom's sister). I'm very close my mom and I always knew I wanted her in the delivery room. My aunt wasn't present at any of her grandkids' births, and we lived in her town at the time so I asked her if she'd like to be there. As a matter of fact, when I was ready to deliver dd, the nurse called my dr who happened to live near my aunt. Since it was late at night and my aunt had ds at her house, we decided to call her at the last minute. The dr arrived just before her, but since he knew she was coming from the same part of town that he'd just come from, we all waited for her arrival (it was just a few minutes). I am not so modest and extended family is very important to me.

[unsinkable]

Just my DH, but if my mom was alive I would have loved to have her with us.

[gardenmom5]

I thought about having 1ds (he would have been 15 1/2) when dudeling was born, but I didn't bring up the subject with him. (the girls were both in NY) as it was - he got to hold dueling before I did anyway.

 

My mil showed up in L&D with 1dd and came right into my room.   (uninvited of course. she's a nurse.)  I was NOT a happy camper. the L&D nurses escorted her out.

 

(dh goes without saying.)

[mmeblue]

For the actual delivery, only medical personnel and DH.  During my (long) labors, I was okay with our parents and siblings coming in for brief periods of time, as long as I was decently covered.  

 

My girls will be 5 and 2 when this next one is born.  No way are they going to be there.  I want to enjoy those first moments with DH and not worry about what the big kids are doing.  I also don't want to worry about how DD#1 would react if something went wrong (with me or with baby).  

[*Lulu*]

During labor my room might as well have had a revolving door......I even met DH's boss for the first time while in labor! (Okay, yes, that was as awkward as it sounds. He thought the baby was already born and had stopped to give his congratulations. The nurse kicked him out after 10 minutes to check my cervix. She was my hero!)

 

For the deliveries:

 

#1- necessary medical personnel, DH, and 5-6 observers (medical staff who had never seen an epidural-free delivery)

#2- necessary medical personnel, DH

#3- necessary medical personnel, DH, my younger sister

[gardenmom5]

I have an acquaintance/friend (I know member of her own family and inlaws as well.) who is a L&D nurse and I had the opportunity to have her with 2ds.  I was very hesitant and so was assigned another - I probably should have gone with her as I have more confidence in her nursing skill than the one I did get.  she was working when dudeling was born (amazing, as she only works a few days a month).  I felt comfortably with the idea of her attending me, but she was assisting with a C-section.  (and the one who I had - . . . . let's just say I rejoiced she went off before I delivered.)

[MomtoCandJ]

With dd1 it was dh and his sister (really step sister but who cares). We lived in Georgia and she was the only family we had there. With dd2 we are thinking dh of course and both of our moms. Dd1 will be staying with papa, I think 5 is a bit young to be in the delivery room, I don't want to traumatize the girl :)

[ktgrok]

What family members have you chosen to be in the delivery room? 

 

Would you make the same choice again?

 

Anyone you wish you had not let be there? 

 

DD was a C-Section, so just DH and me.  When DS was born VBAC I strongly felt that just DH and I should be there.  This time though, DD really wants to be present.  It would also mean my mom would be there as a support person for DD if she needed to leave for any reason.  I know my mom would like to be there as well.  She had only C-Sections and has never seen a birth. 

 

I still haven't decided what I am comfortable with, and thought I'd see what others had done and were comfortable with!

 

My first was a c-section, just my dh there. Second was a VBAC at home, my son was 10 and stayed in his room until the baby was out. My good friend was there and I'm so happy she was. Third was a homebirth with my dh (in the other room with DD most of the time), DS in his room, a doula, a friend, another friend that is a photographer, the midwife, and her student midwives. All us women hung out in my master bedroom/bathroom the whole time. It was freaking amazing. Having those women there was just what I needed, and made it so much better. I never would have thought I'd want that many people there, but it really was great. And I've heard other women say the same thing. 

 

The only issue is that you want supportive people. Anyone that might bring you down, or scare you, should NOT be there. 

 

edited to add: I did not have my mother there at any of the births, and would not have her at future births. She'd be so nervous it would make me nervous. She comes over after every one is cleaned up, and she brings food. 

 

[HelenNotOfTroy]

I had a c-section so only DH was there, but if I had a VBAC I would hire a doula.

[bettyandbob]

Never my mom. Never my mom at anything remotely health or medical related. Never.

 

My mom drove me to the hospital for ds1 . He was 5 weeks early and doctor wanted me to go to hospital for "tests", but did not want me to drive. I called dh from hospital and told him I didn't think I was having the baby, bug please leave work so my mom would leave. She's awful. She makes faces . She acts like one should never be in pain or express discomfort . She thinks you shouldn't discuss "private stuff" but you are there hugely pregnant yeah private stuff is going to be discussed with medical personnel.

 

Dh's office mate drove him to hospital. My mom left. I had the baby with a team from the NICU, a team for me (I was in seriously bad shape with preeclampsia , I was out of it somewhat , doc kept dh informed what was happening to me and said things like "organ failure") , and regular delivery people and one med student. Things amped up quick after mom left, which is good because as bad as things were she would have made everything worse. There were around 25 staff crammed in that room. I counted.

 

The med student was a late comer. I heard him in the hall asking to observe. The doc told him it was too late to ask the patient. I yelled out to come on in, everyone else was here. Dh thought I was a little crazy at that point. Dang there were already 25 strangers looking at me, what was one more at that point. 25 strangers=way better than my mother.

 

Ds was blue. They got him to breath. The NICU staff looked at him 8lbs13oz and they all ran out of the room. They decided giant babies who are breathing do not need their help. I was stabilized and then we were all alone. I was on some serious drugs for another day and had to delay breast feeding.

 

The best thing was dh got my mother to leave.

 

My other deliveries were dh, a doctor and one nurse. My mother was not involved.

[bensonduck]

For DD it was just DH and the medical personnel.

 

DS was a precipitous labor. DH, 2.75 year old DD, and the only nurse was frantically paging any doctor to come in while DS flew out. The doula we had hired to assist missed the birth entirely. (she was so amazing during the post birth process though!)

 

We had no choice but to have little DD there. (from first contraction to DS birth was only about 20 mins and the contrax were mild enough for a while that I was not sure it was the real thing...when we realized I was about to have a baby we basically all jumped in the car and rushed to the hospital.) She is totally unscarred by the experience. She had some questions afterward which we discussed but I think she was happy to be part of it. sharing that experience as a family has bonded us.

[Rubix]

Thanks for all the replies so far! 

 

I started out as just DH, but, as I said I'm now getting more comfortable with the idea of maybe DD & my mom to assist with her. 

 

I guess I've lost some modesty, lol.  The way I was induced for my VBAC is rare around here apparently, so I had several observers that hadn't seen that sort of induction, as well as a resident or student or something who did stiches for a tear after.  Adding in baby nurses, my nurse, sterile supply people and a neonatologist who came in shortly after birth (while I was still getting sewn or something) it ended up being a lot of people, more than I thought there would be.  I guess I'm thinking if they're all there seeing everything, what's the harm in a couple well chosen, supportive people who will actually be excited to see this particular baby.  Especially if I can chose their vantage point!

 

We'll see, I have a few months to decide. 

 

It's nice to see people happy with the different decisions they have made.  Because being comfortable with what you chose is great, it's nice that we have options to have or not have people...

[FaithManor]

DH and medical personnel...for three of the four that meant a midwife and a laborious nurse to assist the

MW. I don't like having a lot people around or noise.

 

I also had tough recoveries due to severe blood loss each and every time so no hospital visitors were

allowed and only my mom and sister for six weeks after I got home. Ticked off a lot of relatives, but I

was in bad shape and couldn't do much more than nurse, sleep, and change diapers.

 

The hospital that I delivered at is now, due to liability and exposure risks, takes your choice away. SO

and a Douala or birth coach only...no extended family and definitely no siblings. They've had dumb parents

bring kids with strep throat and pneumonia with them for the birth because they did not think it was fair for their child to have to miss out. Ugh...stupid people ruin it for everyone else.

[Rubix]

 

The hospital that I delivered at is now, due to liability and exposure risks, takes your choice away. SO

and a Douala or birth coach only...no extended family and definitely no siblings. They've had dumb parents

bring kids with strep throat and pneumonia with them for the birth because they did not think it was fair for their child to have to miss out. Ugh...stupid people ruin it for everyone else.

 

Wow, that's ridiculous.  Why would you risk exposing a new baby to something like that!?!  Also, I doubt a child that is sick is really enjoying the experience & bonding with new sibling. 

 

It's unfortunate that it now changes the rules for everyone. 

[HRAAB]

Besides medical personnel, my dh and my mom were there for all my deliveries.  My sister was with me for one.  My dad visited with me during the earlier part of my labor and was close by rooting for me.

 

My oldest dd just had her first baby this year, and she wanted her dh, me and her sister.  In-laws and her dad were in and out of the room early on but then stayed in the waiting room.

[momto10blessings]

She and medical personnel for all 9 deliveries. Wouldn't do it any other way.

 

I do have a friend who has as many people possible in the room during delivery (as many as doctor/hospital will allow). Including her dad for 2 births and father in law for one. I just couldn't do that.

[Joker]

Dh was the only one there both times. If we were to have another now (which is impossible), I would be okay with our dds being there as well.

[mytwomonkeys]

When my daughter was born it was my husband, mom, 2 grandmothers, 3 sisters and my best friend, lol. I had music playing and my midwife was there delivering. With my son it was just me and my husband. I loved both experiences! :)

[FaithManor]

Betty, I liked your postbut just wanted to say that I meant that due to the fact that your baby was in

great shape, the extra medical pros were not needed, and you came through. I do not extend the like to

your mom. Ouch, sorry you have to deal with that. I've got a relative who is hysterical about medical

stuff and always wants to be on hand for the show. She knows better than to come near me. I've made that

crystal clear. Her own daughter had to get security involved during the birth of her first. UGH!!!

 

Glad it worked out for you.

 

Faith

[Rubix]

I have an acquaintance/friend (I know member of her own family and inlaws as well.) who is a L&D nurse and I had the opportunity to have her with 2ds.  I was very hesitant and so was assigned another - I probably should have gone with her as I have more confidence in her nursing skill than the one I did get.  she was working when dudeling was born (amazing, as she only works a few days a month).  I felt comfortably with the idea of her attending me, but she was assisting with a C-section.  (and the one who I had - . . . . let's just say I rejoiced she went off before I delivered.)

 

I'm a nurse, and I was wondering about this as well.  It's not impossible for me to get a nurse I know, although more as an acquaintance than friend.  Classmates, or preceptors, things like that.  Not sure what I'll do in that situation.

[Janie Grace]

Just dh (and the midwife/nurses). I'm in the "intimate experience" camp. I need to feel completely free to do whatever I need to (positioning, moaning, etc), and I am just not that free with anyone except dh. I hated the idea of feeling self-conscious while laboring (or worrying about a child's perceptions). Apart from those things, my mom would have completely stressed me out… because she's that sort of mom. ;)

 

ETA: We did have a relative show up once uninvited. It took me years to forgive that (and no, dh didn't let them into the delivery room, but they stood at the door and occupied him while I was in transition). Grrr.

[PeachyDoodle]

DH. Only DH. Nobody but DH (except medical staff, of course).

 

I threatened him with bodily harm if he let his mother anywhere near the delivery room. Fortunately our hospital wasn't too keen on "extras" anyway.

 

I would have let my mother in if she'd asked, but she didn't, and I was glad because that would have meant more of a problem with MIL.

 

With DS, I was induced mid-morning. We knew it would be a short labor because DD was only 5 hours start to finish, and I was already at 6cm when I was admitted (pre-term labor). We had DD there in the waiting room with the grandparents so she was able to come in as soon as everything was cleaned up. Best of both worlds, in my opinion -- avoid the trauma, but let her be there for the magical part when we went from family of 3 to family of 4.

 

Our L&D nurse with DS did tell us about a patient she'd had once who insisted on having her 3-year-old twin boys in the delivery room. She said they screamed and cried and were terrified but the mother wouldn't let them leave. I think that's a very personal decision, but I can't imagine keeping my kids in a situation where they were that scared. Of course, that's a second-hand story so take it with a grain of salt.

 

ETA: NOT saying your DD will be scared or in any way traumatized if you let her attend!!

[ktgrok]

I want to clarify that the birth party I had, with several female friends, doula, student midwives, etc...worked because they were all the kind of girlfriends where you can talk about anything. We were discussing the best flavored lubes for oral..um, you know...as I was about 7cm. We laughed, cried, etc. Whereas my mom/sister were NOT invited because I would have felt pressured to perform, coudln't have let loose and just done whatever, etc....they would be nervous, I'd be nervous they would be nervous, etc. Heck, when I was telling my mom about my daughter's birth, she said she could never have been there because she would have gotten so nervous she would have called 911. (she was very anti homebirth). Then she was a bit upset when she wasn't invited to be there for the next homebirth. gee..go figure!

[Rubix]

Never my mom. Never my mom at anything remotely health or medical related. Never.

 

My mom drove me to the hospital for ds1 . He was 5 weeks early and doctor wanted me to go to hospital for "tests", but did not want me to drive. I called dh from hospital and told him I didn't think I was having the baby, bug please leave work so my mom would leave. She's awful. She makes faces . She acts like one should never be in pain or express discomfort . She thinks you shouldn't discuss "private stuff" but you are there hugely pregnant yeah private stuff is going to be discussed with medical personnel.

 

Dh's office mate drove him to hospital. My mom left. I had the baby with a team from the NICU, a team for me (I was in seriously bad shape with preeclampsia , I was out of it somewhat , doc kept dh informed what was happening to me and said things like "organ failure") , and regular delivery people and one med student. Things amped up quick after mom left, which is good because as bad as things were she would have made everything worse. There were around 25 staff crammed in that room. I counted.

 

The med student was a late comer. I heard him in the hall asking to observe. The doc told him it was too late to ask the patient. I yelled out to come on in, everyone else was here. Dh thought I was a little crazy at that point. Dang there were already 25 strangers looking at me, what was one more at that point. 25 strangers=way better than my mother.

 

Ds was blue. They got him to breath. The NICU staff looked at him 8lbs13oz and they all ran out of the room. They decided giant babies who are breathing do not need their help. I was stabilized and then we were all alone. I was on some serious drugs for another day and had to delay breast feeding.

 

The best thing was dh got my mother to leave.

 

My other deliveries were dh, a doctor and one nurse. My mother was not involved.

 

This is precisely how I would feel about having my MIL there.  It just wouldn't work and would stress me out so much. 

 

I'm sorry that it was such a hard experience with the preeclampsia and postpartum complications.  Both of mine were in the NICU, and while the stays were not long (3-5 hours) it was hard to be away from them.  Any stress during that time is so hard.  I'm glad your DH got your mom out of there in time, it would have made things so much worse for you it sounds like. 

[dirty ethel rackham]

What family members have you chosen to be in the delivery room? 

 

I chose DH for all 3.  For my last birth, I wanted one or two of my birth junkie/doula friends with me and maybe my children if they wanted to be there (it was a home birth.)  My oldest son didn't want to and my then 4yo was being really difficult and I knew it would not be a good choice.  One of my doula friends had a client go into labor so she wasn't available and the other couldn't get here in time - it was 2 hours from the time I woke up to holding my baby.  My mom and FIL came to the house, but not to be with me, but to be with my children.

 

 

Would you make the same choice again?

 

With my first two, I would have had a crunchy female friend or hired a doula. 

 

Anyone you wish you had not let be there?

 

My first two OB's?  The first one was borderline abusive and the second one still did not honor her promises to me and cut me to shut me up when I was experiencing flashbacks to the first birth.  Still dealing with physical problems from that 20 years later.

[8circles]

Only DH and medical personnel for all of mine but I would have been comfortable with my SIL for my 4th. When she arrived it was a bit chaotic so it didn't work out but I wish she could have seen I it. I know she wanted to - she's single and almost past childbearing age but always wanted kids.

[ktgrok]

Best of both worlds, in my opinion -- avoid the trauma, but let her be there for the magical part when we went from family of 3 to family of 4.

 

Our L&D nurse with DS did tell us about a patient she'd had once who insisted on having her 3-year-old twin boys in the delivery room. She said they screamed and cried and were terrified but the mother wouldn't let them leave. I think that's a very personal decision, but I can't imagine keeping my kids in a situation where they were that scared. Of course, that's a second-hand story so take it with a grain of salt.

 

That's kind of what we did. When dd was born we 10 year old at the time DS came in as soon as the baby was breathing well, so he saw her minutes after birth, at most. Still wet and slimy, lol. When younger ds was born then 13 year old DS elected to wait until the wrapped up baby was brought out of my bedroom into the living room to see him. DH himself actually only came in as ds was crowning. He had 2 year old dd with him, holding her, as I pushed ds out, and then she was scared a bit by me yelling so he took her right back out. She was only in there for a minute or two? Then once she realized mama was ok and not yelling anymore she came in and climbed up on the bed..it was very sweet. I did make her get down though because every time she bounced on the bed in excitement it made me hurt all over. She hung out by the side of the bed for a bit, then went out while I got stitched up. I have a cute picture of her with a dolly swaddled, sitting next to me while I hold swaddled Ds, who is minutes old. During labor itself she was in the rest of the house while I was in my room. She watched tv and swam naked in the birth pool I never used. Oh, and made a birthday cake with daddy.

[LaCEmom]

Only DH and medical personnel. I wish I had a mom who I'd be comfortable having there, but I don't.

[fourcatmom]

With my first DD it was my DH, my Mom and my Dad and my Aunt from another state was on the phone. I wasn't planning on having everyone there it was just the way it worked. I was induced on a Friday and I my Mom and Dad came down to see me on Sat and Sunday. They just happen to be there and they ended up staying. It was my Dad's first grandaughter and now that he is gone, I am glad that I was able to share it with him. He was in his late 70's and was never allowed to see his kids being born so this was special for him and the only birth he witnessed. We ended up calling my Aunt and she just stayed on the phone the whole time. She wasn't born until late Sunday night and they had stayed just to make sure everything was okay since it had been a difficult three days.

 

For my 2nd DD, no one was there. DH didn't even make it. This was not planned either. :huh:

[Rubix]

DH. Only DH. Nobody but DH (except medical staff, of course).

 

I threatened him with bodily harm if he let his mother anywhere near the delivery room. Fortunately our hospital wasn't too keen on "extras" anyway.

 

I would have let my mother in if she'd asked, but she didn't, and I was glad because that would have meant more of a problem with MIL.

 

With DS, I was induced mid-morning. We knew it would be a short labor because DD was only 5 hours start to finish, and I was already at 6cm when I was admitted (pre-term labor). We had DD there in the waiting room with the grandparents so she was able to come in as soon as everything was cleaned up. Best of both worlds, in my opinion -- avoid the trauma, but let her be there for the magical part when we went from family of 3 to family of 4.

 

Our L&D nurse with DS did tell us about a patient she'd had once who insisted on having her 3-year-old twin boys in the delivery room. She said they screamed and cried and were terrified but the mother wouldn't let them leave. I think that's a very personal decision, but I can't imagine keeping my kids in a situation where they were that scared. Of course, that's a second-hand story so take it with a grain of salt.

 

ETA: NOT saying your DD will be scared or in any way traumatized if you let her attend!!

 

 

Luckily our mom's don't compare their treatment much.  We only see MIL a few times a year anyway.  But that just wouldn't be an option. 

 

No worries, I didn't think you were comparing kiddos!  That's awful to make them stay.  I wouldn't consider it with any age if they didn't want to be there.  And, of course, anyone who changes their mind and wants to leave is welcome to!  Except DH I think...I'm pretty sure he's stuck with me :) 

 

That's another option I'm considering is having both DD and DS in the waiting room with my mom & sis and bringing them in after the messy bits are done ;)

[unsinkable]

For DD it was just DH and the medical personnel.

 

DS was a precipitous labor. DH, 2.75 year old DD, and the only nurse was frantically paging any doctor to come in while DS flew out. The doula we had hired to assist missed the birth entirely. (she was so amazing during the post birth process though!)

 

We had no choice but to have little DD there. (from first contraction to DS birth was only about 20 mins and the contrax were mild enough for a while that I was not sure it was the real thing...when we realized I was about to have a baby we basically all jumped in the car and rushed to the hospital.) She is totally unscarred by the experience. She had some questions afterward which we discussed but I think she was happy to be part of it. sharing that experience as a family has bonded us.

This is amazing. I've heard labors and births like this can be overwhelming.

 

My dear friend is like this...each baby was quicker than the last. We told her she better not sneeze the last time she was pregnant!

[bettyandbob]

Betty, I liked your postbut just wanted to say that I meant that due to the fact that your baby was in

great shape, the extra medical pros were not needed, and you came through. I do not extend the like to

your mom. Ouch, sorry you have to deal with that. I've got a relative who is hysterical about medical

stuff and always wants to be on hand for the show. She knows better than to come near me. I've made that

crystal clear. Her own daughter had to get security involved during the birth of her first. UGH!!!

 

Glad it worked out for you.

 

Faith

Thanks. Support during medical intervention is not in my mother's skill set. In college my sister was in a bad car accident. My mom took off work to go be with her. Later my sister told me mom was awful during the weeks she was in the hospital. She tried to tell my sis not to cry when they were setting one of her bones by punching it into place. And sis had to be catheritized because she couldn't get out of bed. Mom was real good for that. Not. She's not that great with basic illness either.

 

My mom is great at making fresh floral decorations. She will babysit. She's my third driver when we need it. She will clean and do laundry (I don't let her). She does not have "nurturing during illness or injury".

[unsinkable]

Well, I tell myself my mom would have been awesome and would have been the Best Grandma in the Whole World.

[Dory]

My mom was in the room to coach me. She is an RN so I appreciated someone who knew what was going on advocating for me. My Dh was there but he mostly focused on not passing out.

[Rubix]

What family members have you chosen to be in the delivery room? 

 

I chose DH for all 3.  For my last birth, I wanted one or two of my birth junkie/doula friends with me and maybe my children if they wanted to be there (it was a home birth.)  My oldest son didn't want to and my then 4yo was being really difficult and I knew it would not be a good choice.  One of my doula friends had a client go into labor so she wasn't available and the other couldn't get here in time - it was 2 hours from the time I woke up to holding my baby.  My mom and FIL came to the house, but not to be with me, but to be with my children.

 

 

Would you make the same choice again?

 

With my first two, I would have had a crunchy female friend or hired a doula.

 

Anyone you wish you had not let be there?

 

My first two OB's?  The first one was borderline abusive and the second one still did not honor her promises to me and cut me to shut me up when I was experiencing flashbacks to the first birth.  Still dealing with physical problems from that 20 years later.

 

(Hugs)  I'm so sorry.  It must be hard to have those difficult, traumatic memories associated with something so wonderful. 

 

Your homebirth was such a fast labor!  My only vaginal delivery was 22 hours, although I needed to be induced, so I'm assuming I'll have more time! I know they are supposed to get speedier with each one. 

[Chelle in MO]

#1--dr, nurse, med students, dh, and good friend

#2--dr, nurse, dh

#3--dr, nurse, dh, mom, step-mom, 2 sisters (dad, step-dad, bil, and older boys were just around the corner in the waiting room and came in my room shortly after birth)

 

All were awesome!

[Cindy in FL.]

#1 - my mom

#2 - dh

#3 - dh

#4 - dh and my close friend who was my pastor's wife

#5 - dh

[Spy Car]

We had a big crowd. My parents. My wife's parents. Her sister, My brother & his wife.

 

It was great!

 

It meant a lot to everyone to be there. My wife appreciated the loving family support. The birthing room was huge and very compfortable for guests, so space wasn't an issue.

 

We were very happy.

 

Bill

[elfgivas]

well, you see, it was like this with dd#1

 

we were stationed in germany.  it was requestathon weekend, a fundraising time where people pledged money to have other people do things, etc, etc.  the hospital staff raised thousands if the base commander would attend the next birth.  let us remember that base commanders don't go anywhere by themselves.

 

and so i went into labour, in germany, with a francophone doctor.  well, it turns out i can speak french up until i hit 7 cm, then all bets are off.  did i mention it was requestathon weekend?  so only one anaesthesiologist on call, who happened to be my upstairs neighbour.  he came in, explained that i couldn't have anaesthetic as they needed him in the or.  then, they explained to me that i was the next birth, and could the base commander come.  hmmmm.... i don't see a choice here, really.  so in he came, with his many people.  there i am, flat on back on a stretcher (military hospital.  sigh.).  the room is full of people laughing and having a great time.

 

i have a sweet baby who is sunnyside up, and i've been pushing for 2 hours at this point.  Francophone OB approaches and suggests an episiotomy.  and from left field, in walks a jamaican midwife, who can't quite believe her eyes.  step 1 was telling my OB to sit in the corner and not move til she called him.  step 2 was to tell the base commander she would sign off on him having been there only if he left.  step 3 was turning to me, and saying, "there, that's better, isn't it".... and a few minutes later our first was born.

 

dd#2 was born in a civilian hospital in canada.  i had a resident who stayed with me.  i walked, talked, no anaesthetic, as i knew i could do it without.  but she just wouldn't be born.  head of obstetrics came in and told resident she could go.  i said, "no, she's been with me the whole time i want her here".  he started to argue.  i said "i don't want you here".  and he left.  i had learned my lesson.  except the next thing i knew i was in an OR with an anaesthesiologist saying, i have to put you under in one minute give it one more try".  and there she was, our second daughter.

 

dd#3 was born in a civilian hospital in the usa.  i had a british midwife.  they wouldn't let me walk.  they wouldn't let me get out of bed even.  they kept trying to give me drugs and i kept saying no.  two hours in, i said to dh "its time".  he called them, and the midwife had gone back to her office 10 mintues away.... they had forgotten how quickly labour can go with no anaesthetic.  so i puffed and blew until she got there.  three pushes, and our third daughter was born.

 

dd#4 was born in a civilian hospital in the usa.  i went in because she hadn't moved in a while.  they put me on a monitor and her heartbeat went in and out.  they put a port in for an epidural in case they needed it quickly.  they asked how big, and i said smaller than the others.  they asked how long, and i shrugged.  10 minutes later, dh reports i said, "i remember this part.  i hate this part".  he called, the OB arrived, and there was dd #4, cord around her neck, but just fine. 

 

so if i had ever gotten to choose, it would have been just dh, a midwife and me. 

 

they were all wonderful.

 

fwiw,

ann

[Cinder]

Just dh and the medical folks. For ds1 that meant about 4 or 5 nurses & med techs. (The doc had to be called in and I almost didn't make it that long.) It was a military hospital on Sunday and they had no one on the ward. Maybe the staff was just bored. But when I showed up with ds1 already crowning, they all--pretty much everyone on duty--jumped into action. It was quite busy in that little room for the next 20 minutes or so.

[LibraryLover]

For my first hb, my sister and mother were present. For the next, dh and the midwives. Last, just dh and me. I say that was an accident, but my sister says it wasn't. ;)