How does decluttering help?

[lovinmyboys]

I really think we have too much stuff (pretty much for the kids-four between ages 1-7). Most of it is stuff that I think is good stuff. I am just looking for motivation to get rid of it.

 

One problem I am having is wanting to save stuff for my littlest to use. I still have little people, but my big kids like playmobil and imaginext, so we have gobs of guys. Plus hot wheels, blocks, trains, dress up, crafts, books, games, puzzles, Legos, play food, etc. Its all good stuff and between the four kids I do think we need plenty of toys. I consider our house average sized and it doesn't really look cluttered, but I feel like we spend too much time picking up and looking for lost toys. And I think we have so much they couldn't possibly play with it all.

 

My two big problems are wanting to save stuff for the youngest. Right now none of my kids are into trains, but I am afraid to get rid of them in case my youngest will want them in a few months. We don't have much storage space. My other fear is that they will play more screen stuff if they have fewer toys. I think another hang up is that I would like them to use something (like puzzles) but we never do. I think doing puzzles is good for kids, but they don't choose them and I don't force it. I still don't want to get rid of the puzzles though.

 

Any tips and especially motivation for decluttering. Is it worth it?

[Erica in OR]

Similar problems here. My youngest are only one, so I made the decision to keep the sturdy, imaginative types of toys that we have, even if they aren't quite old enough to play with them yet. For the other items, if it's something we have a lot of, I might cut down on how many there are. For example, DS has a massive collection of Hot Wheels cars; we agreed he would cut it down to what fit in his car carrying case. To keep the bits from becoming overwhelming, I put types of toys into separate bins (blocks, play food/dishes, dress-up). Only one or two are out at a time. When they get tired of one, it can get put away and another one come out. It helps the toys stay fresh and exciting.

 

A lot of the toys you mention are classic and good for imaginative play: Little People, blocks, trains, dress up, Legos, play food. Maybe take each one to what you feel is a manageable level and have each self-contained? For the rest of it, consider cutting it down. Even books—I always used to hate giving any books away, but I found that once the kids and I culled what we really weren't reading and didn't love to re-read, it made the remaining books so much easier to get to and enjoy.

 

So, I'd declutter, but judiciously. My biggest motivations for decluttering are to re-read some of Don Aslett's decluttering books from the library or to watch an episode or two of "Hoarders." :)

 

Erica in OR 

[Farrar]

Even if you don't have extra storage space, stuff must be somewhere.  You can put things in plastic sealed boxes and have them up on a high shelf or something and do a toy rotation.  I'd get rid of a few things and then try to institute something like that.

[Guest]

I really think we have too much stuff (pretty much for the kids-four between ages 1-7). Most of it is stuff that I think is good stuff. I am just looking for motivation to get rid of it.

 

One problem I am having is wanting to save stuff for my littlest to use. I still have little people, but my big kids like playmobil and imaginext, so we have gobs of guys. Plus hot wheels, blocks, trains, dress up, crafts, books, games, puzzles, Legos, play food, etc. Its all good stuff and between the four kids I do think we need plenty of toys. I consider our house average sized and it doesn't really look cluttered, but I feel like we spend too much time picking up and looking for lost toys. And I think we have so much they couldn't possibly play with it all.

 

My two big problems are wanting to save stuff for the youngest. Right now none of my kids are into trains, but I am afraid to get rid of them in case my youngest will want them in a few months. We don't have much storage space. My other fear is that they will play more screen stuff if they have fewer toys. I think another hang up is that I would like them to use something (like puzzles) but we never do. I think doing puzzles is good for kids, but they don't choose them and I don't force it. I still don't want to get rid of the puzzles though.

 

Any tips and especially motivation for decluttering. Is it worth it?

If you are "looking for motivation to get rid of it," then you must, on some level, feel that less would be better. 

 

I understand the problem. I have some things I'm keeping and I don't even have another little one coming up behind. It's hard to get rid of the super-nice Melissa & Doug puzzles. 

 

One thing I would encourage is this: screen time is at the limits you set (or don't). So, yes, I agree that if you don't have a lot of other options, screen time will increase, but this will probably happen if you don't set limits, too. There is something inherently mesmerizing about gaming that makes wooden trains pale by comparison. 

 

I would say part of the solution is thinning out individual categories of toys. So, instead of 97 hot wheels, you have 22 that the boys agree are the "coolest" ones. If there are things they objectively don't choose to play with but you feel it's premature to get rid of it, thin them down to the best ones and store them for a while. If you pull them out in a year and your youngest is thrilled with them, great. If you pull them out in a year and your youngest isn't interested, you may consider giving them a new home. 

 

I am big on decluttering (I'm writing a book on this subject), but I do think there is a point in keeping some nice toys if space is not seriously compromised. I keep a box of dress-up clothing that my youngest rarely uses because it's fun when people visit. (Little girls always seem to love the dress-up box; sometimes little boys, too.) If I was in seriously cramped conditions, I wouldn't keep it, but I'm not, so I do!  :coolgleamA:

[HS Mom in NC]

My Motivation

 

Kids used to use their imagination but now they don't have imaginations because we've made every type of stinking plastic food, dress up costume, toy vehicle, action figure, art set, etc. out there.   How many different kinds of each toy do I have?  How many construction toys?  How many stuffed toys?  How many kitchen toys?  How many toys with wheels? How many dress up outfits? In general, most people could easily get rid of 50%-75% and not really miss it later. How many toys did I have as a kid?  How many did my parents have?  How many did my grandparents have? 

 

We are drowning in cheap, redundant, useless objects that are a waste of the time, money and energy necessary to buy them, organize them, and clean round them.  They desensitize our children to quality play and substitute instead, quantity clutter, mess, confusion and endless searches for bits of junk.  Why spend money on all this crap instead of regularly putting money away a little at a time for my children for valuable things they'll want far more: an education or skills training and vehicle so they can become independent, valuable travel and other worthy experiences.

 

My Thought Process

 

I'm a merciless purger because I think volume/proportion is key.  People who struggle with limiting stuff and getting rid of stuff (two separate skill sets, by the way) will allow one good reason to keep it to trump multiple good reasons to get rid of it.  Purgers and minimalists do exactly the opposite.  There may be several good reasons to keep it, but one good reason to get rid of it is all it takes to make it happen.

 

Merciless purgers tend to do a cost/benefit analysis before allowing new toys into the house.  People who struggle with that seem to focus on only the benefit.  Yes, a child will be excited an focused on the new thing...for a while at least. Be careful to avoid teaching children that the high of getting something new is the fun.  Actually using the thing with friends, siblings or by yourself is the fun.  We have generations of people with lots of debt and little savings because they keep chasing the high of the new, never experiencing deep satisfaction from its usefulness and making memories with other people.

 

Then the toy has to be organized and stored in a way that makes it available again.  There's a point at which things get so cluttered, many children can't "see" them any more in the mass of stuff. They also get so cluttered that the amount of stuff that has to be sifted through to find the beloved toy creates far more work putting things away so they can be safe, located, and cleaned around. This is a quality of life issue.  If it's not worth the hassle of all the work it brings, then there's a problem to be corrected. There is some work inherent with owning things, but owning too much creates too much work and the scales tip making it a bad trade.

 

The possible future vs. the reality of now

 

Just because one child might like the train set doesn't mean he has to have a train set. Every manufactured item has a potential purpose.  That doesn't mean I need each one of them because they each have some sort of potential.  If you get rid of the train set and 3 years from now he falls in loves with trains, eats, sleeps, and breathes trains, then tell Gramma and Grampa that when they ask for gift suggestions for his birthday or holiday.  Just before the holiday, (sometime in mid November to mid December if you celebrate Christmas) purge toys he doesn't use to make room for the train set to bring balance to your life.

 

General Decluttering

 

Donate the good stuff that you don't need or use to a worthy charity.  There are plenty of people out there who can't afford good stuff who will be delighted to use it. 

 

I would select a limited number of toys with wheels that works for your age range of children. A container that fits X number of wheeled toys should do it.  You can tell your kids what that number is.  For example, have each kid pick a certain number of favorites and give the rest away.

If it's dress up, select a container for it that suits your physical space and select the best dress up outfits and get rid of the rest.  For example, pick the most loved that are in the best condition and get rid of the ratty ones, the ones no one really likes anyway, and all those bits and pieces that sink to the bottom of the container and kill vacuum cleaners when they're on the carpet.

 

If it's construction toys, pick one kind that's for older kids and one for littles. Kids don't need multiple types of construction sets. Kids don't need add ons to construction sets for every gift giving occasion. Again, if you do have one kid that lives and breathes mechanical engineering, it may make sense to do the add on kit for a gift.  In general, children who don't have a burning passion for it don't need more of it.

 

If it's craft supplies, ask yourself what your boys actually do.  What are their favorite crafts?  Get rid of the rest. They don't need every kind of paint.  Watercolor paints or tempra paints ought to satisfy their painting itch. They don't need markers and crayons and colored pencils.  Which do they seem to like best?  Keep those.  Get rid of the rest.  They don't need every coloring book out there.  Go through and pick a small selection of ones that meet different ability ranges and get rid of the rest.

 

Play food is a communist plot to destroy American morale. No one needs play food.  If you want to keep some, make it a few things they actually play with on a regular basis and sacrifice the rest to trash gods.

 

Mom decides

 

Most parents limit screen time.  You can too.  You and dad can decide how much screen time your think your kids should have on a given day and what they have to do to earn or maintain the privilege.  Decide what you will do to enforce it.  Then enforce it.

 

You can also tell them what sort of play is allowed at any given time.  Do you think they need to burn some energy and get some sun and fresh air?  Tell them it's time to play outside and enforce it.  Do you think they need some time to quiet down and spare your sanity?  Tell them they must read or play on their beds with toys that don't make a lot of noise. Then enforce it.  Do you want them to play in a certain part of the house for some reason?  Then tell them so and enforce it.  You don't have to dictate all day every day, but you're perfectly justified in making decisions now and then based the needs of the individuals and the needs of the family as a whole as you see fit.
 

 

[Guest]

Dang, Homeschool Mom in AZ! I've been "owned." YOU should be writing the book!  :laugh:

[kbutton]

I would get rid of inexpensive or easily replaced items. Unless your kids are really into art, I would definitely thin that kind of stuff. If they like art, but you have an unsustainable set of supplies, spend some serious time making Christmas decorations or something like that to get it into a manageable pile. Find an art teacher or preschool teacher that actively collects odds and ends (and uses them!). Or, set a limit (such as what fits into a particular box, cupboard, etc.), and tell the kids that they need to decide what to put in that space. If they find something to add to it, then they have to get rid of something already there.

 

We thin and store, and then we weigh the options when we need more space. Sometimes it's easier to say goodbye in stages or if we are blessing someone else with a toy we know they would just love. I wouldn't over clutter by hanging onto things, but it sounds like your youngest will be using them soon from what you've said. If you have the space, and you're talking about "a few months," maybe you can rotate toys until you know what your youngest likes. Then, be ruthless about de-cluttering. If we're talking a much longer time span or far more toys than the youngest will use alone, that's a different story. I think the littler ones seem to outgrow the toys faster than their older sibs do because they are constantly wanting to do what the older sibs are doing. They are also more likely to have someone entertaining them, whereas the oldest probably had to work harder to entertain himself. As a result, the littler kids need and use fewer toys. Also, my kids outgrew the "put it in my mouth" stage super early, so my little ones could play with Imaginext and some of the "older" toys quite young. That made Little People obsolete pretty fast.

 

We also have been able to send some of the big ticket fun items to Grandma's house. They are used and enjoyed there more than they are at our house.

[LucyStoner]

When you are on fire, putting out the flames is the first thing you need to do. When you are in a cluttered nightmare, the clutter is the flames. You HAVE to put it out.

[NicAnn]

I now purge all the time. We moved into a RV, less than 300 sq ft of space. The kids each had 1 plastic tote of toys and 1 for games and art supplies. They were never bored and never complained about stuff to do. We've since moved out of rv, but I've applied the same principle to the house. It is a joy to clean up now. Even when every single toy or book is out, it takes about 10 minutes to pick up.

 

Declutter. You will feel good!

[Chris in VA]

Motivation:

 

Think of who you could bless with what you have. When charity becomes personal, it becomes easier to give.

 

Check yourself to see if you are keeping things because of a fear of not being able to get the same thing later. No one can predict the future. 

 

Visualize what life would be like with less--Would you have more time if you could clean up quicker? Would your children have a less irritable mom if you had less to take care of, or if they could clean up quicker? How would your attitude change, your environment change, etc?

 

Give yourself permission to keep what you really love.

 

Sometimes things become symbols. Does it feel like letting go of some of the toys means acknowledging that the kids are growing up? 

 

[Punks in Ontario]

One thing that I found with my youngers was that they spent more time playing with their older siblings and didn't seem to need toys as much.

 

That said, I kept the best, sturdiest toys to keep and thinned down the rest severely.  I've never regretted it.  They still got gifts for birthdays and Christmases to add to the basics from the olders.  

 

I have the belief that I'd rather see stuff used and "worn out than to rust out."

[KungFuPanda]

The little kid phase is so fleeting, that I see no point in decluttering in the middle of it unless you plan to have a mega-sized family. Just declutter as your baby ages. At one year, get rid of the birth-12 month stuff. In a few years, purge the 3 and under stuff. Baby and preschool toys can take a lot of space, so you'll free up a lot of real estate when your baby outgrows them.

 

For day-to-day toy management, rotate the stock. They don't need access to everything they own at all times. Make them pack up and turn in bins to trade for others.