XP: Homeschooling a Special Needs High Schooler and Gifted Kindergartener

[ebrindam]

Possible to do this? My son is nearly 14 and is currently reading at about a 2nd grade level and doing math at about a 1st grade level. His primary diagnosis is Schizophrenia, but he also has nonverbal learning disability and ADHD. His writing/spelling are very poor. IQ is around 80. We adopted him from foster care at age 10 so there is also a history of emotional trauma and PTSD. He loves history. I do not feel our local high school can meet his needs and I'm not sure that the (one hour away) school for emotionally handicapped children is the best place for him either.

I will definitely be homeschooling our (then) kindergartener in the fall. I just don't know if it's possible to do this with a child so far behind and one who is ahead. Anyone have any thoughts? Positive or negative as I am really not sure I can do this!

[Lecka]

You can do it, they are individuals. 

 

It might turn out your older son has got some things he is good at, too, that you notice more if your younger child is not as good at them.  Maybe in non-academic areas. 

 

I have twins (!!!!!) and one is very bright and advanced verbally and always making up and carrying out her own art projects and catching bugs in the yard and making them little houses etc, and one has autism and is delayed in his language. 

 

Still -- seeing both of them, I see many times where he is doing something very well. 

 

It definitely is not "one is always this way, one is always that way." 

 

It might be unexpected but you will know it when you see it. 

 

I do not have any experience with a younger child surpassing an older child in academics -- my son is not aware that he is "behind" his sister.  She is a little bit aware, but since I am with her, I am always the person who will explain to her the way I want things to be explained.  I mostly go with factual information plus "different people are good at different things" and "things we like about each person." 

 

Actually they will go to public school next year, but I have so many benefits from having them together. 

[PeterPan]

Uh, I guess if you read one of the downer posts I made in another thread, you'd get some of the ugly side of it.  I think *academically* you can do it.  That's not impossible, and your love will help you through that.  What's hard to me, having that 10 year gap, is the whole dynamic of things between the kids.  What is the relationship like between the 14 and 4 yo?  Is your 4 yo NT?  (neurotypical)  What happens with my kids is my boy is "all boy" and has some sensory issues making him sort of impervious to things.  My dd has the attention issues and is extremely (extremely) sensitive for sensory.  Functionally that means that everything my ds does drives my dd BATTY.  I spend a lot of the day keeping them apart.  Then, when you get them apart and pat yourself for your ingenuity at devising something the 4/5 yo will do independently or vice versa, then you have the kid whining and acting out over not getting enough attention!  It's not exactly like you can CLONE yourself.

 

So have them together a bit in the reality of your house, the real space you have to work with, and see what happens.  Do they have very different energy levels or bug each other?  Whatever really happens is what you're going to be dealing with.  I guarantee you the emotional issues will be much harder to deal with than the academics.  Academics are easy, because they are impersonal if you let them be.  How we treat each other is personal though and really wears you out.  Most of K5 is discipline, not academics.  So you're going to be doing what is the hardest (but most fun!) year of elementary AND bringing home a teen with difficulties.

 

I'd do it in a heartbeat IF you know that the situation between the two is workable.  If there are any issues with violence and your space situation cannot allow you to work out a practical solution, then I would be extremely cautious and choose.  It's never that there's only one option, even though it feels like it.  I would give the older child the SN school, even if it's imperfect, and homeschool the 5 yo if the two cannot be together safely.  It sounds like the teen has been in school, so it would be a lateral slide.

 

Whatever you do, don't underestimate how frustrating a little one can be to someone older who's trying to work.  This isn't going to be something romantic with two kids sitting around a table while Mom flits.  It's more like wham, he's bugging me, why won't he shut up, I can't work like this, go to your rooms, brothers should love each other, he's bugging me, more hitting...  Hopefully yours have a beautiful relationship and it's not like that.  I'm just saying how it can be, sigh.  My kids love each other, really and truly, and they have sweet times together.  But the weaknesses of each other WILL aggravate.  You just have to look at your situation, the space in your house, and see whether it's workable.  Our house is big enough, I keep my kids on separate floors, literally.  Then I get the lonely, I don't get enough time with you, thing going on.  Sigh.  And it's not like either of them are at a place to learn independently.  Nor can you clone.   :D 

 

Just be realistic.  Is he stable on his meds?

[ebrindam]

He is stable on meds and not violent. They do well together...don't fight and don't really bug each other. My DD is extremely tolerant, loving and protective of her older brother. I am actually more concerned about the academic aspect than the kids being together.

[Heathermomster]

DS is 8th grade, and DD is my 5 yo kindie.  DS is a 2e dyslexic/dysgraphic/dyscalculiac and presently uses high school materials for science, history, and literature.  

 

I'm presently teaching DD to read, write, and complete math while DS completes his writing, reading assignments, and/or math.  DD has her desk, and DS has the computer.  We all sit together in the office.  Once P is done with phonics, I release her to go play in her room as it is near the office.  She does art, beats me at Connect 4, and puts together puzzles at her desk.  MUS Primer is super easy for her and takes less than 5 minutes.  

 

My kids take breaks together.  On Friday, my younger attends a 3.5 hour kindie class so that DS can complete his physical science experiments.  My DD travels with us while DS is tutored and attends weekly concert band.  I take read alongs, and we listen to books on tape.

 

I think that you can teach both, provided there are no sensory issues.  You just have to carve out times for the little one.  If DS were not independent with writing and reading, I'm not sure how we'd work things out.  

[Heathermomster]

OP, I'm curious.  Is your DS homeschooled now, or are you pulling him from ps to homeschool?  What are you using for math and reading remediation?  

 

My son doesn't have NLD, so I don't really understand the dynamics of working with a child with that particular learning issue.  The WTM Forum has a relatively new social NLD group.  You may want to join that social group and speak to those Moms for more specific insight.

 

 

[ebrindam]

My DS is not homeschooled now. He's in 8th grade a small school with a 1 on 1 aide getting pretty a separate curriculum for math and reading than anyone else...he is in classroom for science and social studies with modified work.

[Lecka]

Now that other people mention things.... if your older son needs a lot of one-on-one, it may be hard to find time for your younger child. 

 

I am okay with letting things slack for my other kids when one needs a lot of one-on-one.... but it can be pretty difficult to manage. 

 

When one child needs a lot, it can be really hard to find time. 

 

If your younger son does a lot of independent projects and you aren't too concerned, that is one thing.  If you want to spend time with him, then it may get difficult to balance. 

 

There may not be an easy answer.  Sometimes it is better for one child to go to school, too, imo, if it is an option.

[OneStepAtATime]

Glad you went ahead and posted here.  Hopefully, you will get several useful responses, Ebrindam.  There are some great gals here that have lots of experience with lots of things and who are so kind to share their experiences and thoughts (like Lecka, above, who has helped me in the past).

 

I agree with Lecka.  You can do this.  And while I don't know your son, I do think, from what you describe, that he is definitely better off at home, at least for now.  How do your children get along?

 

The biggest thing, I think, is to make certain that you have realistic expectations.  Obviously homeschooling with this situation will not be the same as it would for someone else.  Don't get down or feel like you are failing if your day doesn't flow the way someone else's has.  Many homeschoolers make the mistake (me included) of looking at our own situation, where we see all the bumps and flaws and rough days first hand and compare ourselves to some other homeschooler who SEEMS to just breeze right through.  Our assumption is that we are doing something wrong or are not adequate for the job.  We aren't actually seeing all the days they struggle, too.

 

My kids have some special needs (or they would probably still be in a brick and mortar school), though very different from your son's, but I had to realize that the goals and accomplishments of other parents was just not going to be possible with mine right now.  I thought I would mention some general things that have helped us function a lot more effectively this year than last.  Many of these things were gleaned from years of trying to help the kids function in a b&m school, but a lot of this I have gotten from other homeschoolers.  I'll make a bulletted list, then go into more detail on some stuff below it in case you want more of an explanation for how we are handling specifics...

 

1.  Written, realistic goals for the year for all of you that you can refer to periodically.

2. Life skills (just as important as book learning)

3. Consistent pursuit of personal interests

4.  Plenty of down time and personal space for all of you, as well as positive group activities

5. Conscientious striving to improve relationships within the family and keep lines of communication open

6.  Acceptance of differences in personality, learning style, goals, etc.

7. Actively seeking out others for mutual support in the local community.

8, Staying flexible.  If you are having a bad day, don't just trudge through in misery.  Walk away for a bit and do something else.  if you are having a bad month, maybe take a longer break or check to see if the curriculum or flow of your day needs tweaking.

 

If you aren't bored yet, here are some details on a few of the above  :)   :

1.  Research and WRITE DOWN your overall goals for the year, including things you want to do for yourself (don't lose yourself in this or all of you lose), life skills that you would like the kids to work on, plus the educational goals, etc., trying to keep those goals as realistic as possible.  I have found that we were all more positive about learning when we started with smaller goals and added on as we got into the flow of the homeschooling process.

     I started just this year by looking at the date the kids and I want to end our school year (they want to do some educational camps next summer) and blocked out our curriculum and goals for the year in 6 weeks segments, working backwards.  Every 6 weeks we take a week off just to detox, pursue other interests in more depth, take a family vacation when prices are down, spend more time cuddling and hanging out, etc.  We also do the bulk of our work M-Th then save Friday for review and fun educational games and chores (but trying to make this a fun process - see below).

    Having that big picture in mind has been so helpful!  When we get behind in a goal, I can look through our schedule and see where we might be able to catch up (maybe there is an easier week in another subject and we can use that time to work harder in the one we are behind).  It actually only took about 30 minutes to create the general schedule and I keep it in a notebook with calendars going out about 2 years.  I got the forms off the internet for free.  Donna Young has some great organizer pages, but there are others .

     Having that plan, I am able to look at things and see if maybe the goals were too high in some areas and too low in others and adjust accordingly without feeling like we missed something.

 

2.  With regards to life skills specifically, we just started doing an "apprenticeship" where each of my kids is working on mastery level of some household chore.  Some of these chores seem so easy and it turns out that sometimes, they really aren't.  My daughter HATED helping with dishes.  It turns out she was just really insecure that she was doing things wrong.  

 

I read about the apprenticeship program from another homeschooler and it is working great so far.  The kids know they are in training and I don't expect perfection.  We start with my showing them what to do and how I prefer things done, then they do the chore alongside me for a while, then after a few days or weeks (depending on age, skill level, difficulty of the chore, etc.) they do it on their own for a while until they reach whatever I deem "mastery level".  I write down what "mastery level" is ahead of time, so I have some idea what the end goal will be.  At the end we celebrate with a meal out (you could do certificates or another type of reward).  The child then is expected to be responsible for that chore at least once a week so the skill isn't lost and they realize that chores are just part of life.

 

Amazingly, the kids loved the idea and feel so much more secure knowing they are in training.  My 13 year old daughter and I laughed our way through the dishes today, even though I have a terrible sinus headache and she had an injured hand.  She is also very much willing to let me point out something she did incorrectly now because she knows she is still an apprentice and isn't expected to know how to do everything perfectly.  The 2 critical components, as were told to me, are that you give them lots of time focusing on that one chore specifically so that mastery level for their age and capabilities is achieved and that the emphasis is on positive reinforcement, family bonding time, NO negative feedback or frustrated vocal tone, etc.  By the end of the process your child has some useful life skills, hopefully you and your child have had some great bonding moments and you child doesn't see chores as horrible and something to avoid.  

 

3.  Don't forget to take care of yourself.  I forgot that for years and the kids and my husband suffered right alongside me.  Not a good place to be.  If there is an area of interest you would like to study, do it.  The kids can see you learning, too.  If you want to exercise more or get better at cooking or there are several books you have been meaning to read, or maybe you have always wanted to learn how to basket weave underwater, do it.  Don't forget about yourself.  Make the time.  SCHEDULE THE TIME.  Find something just for you, even if it is just spending a few minutes a day staring at a leaf or listening to music.

 

4.  Your children are different.  There will be times when they will need space from each other and there are times when you will all need to be together.  Try to make the together time positive, step in before issues get out of hand instead of correcting the poor behavior after the fact (easier said than done sometimes, but I have found being proactive and steering things into a more positive situation before it dissolves is much more productive than discussing the poor behavior afterwards.)

 

5, 6, & 8.  It finally got through my thick head that if the kids or my husband, or even the dog was acting poorly then maybe there really was an issue that needed to be addressed.  Just letting my irritation and frustration at their irritation and frustration get out of hand wasn't helpful.  They might not even be conscious of it but usually something is bothering them if they are acting poorly.  If your child seems angry or frustrated or is deliberately not listening, sometimes it works better to just step back from the situation for a while and try to understand what is going wrong.  My daughter and my son learn very differently.  Just recently she has become more and more unhappy with our history curriculum but my son loves it.  They both were getting frustrated and snappy with each other.  Bullheadedly I have been trying to teach them quite a few things together since most of our remediation has to be separate.  There are only so many hours in the day.  I just didn't think I could separate them for every subject.  However, forcing them to learn together in a subject my daughter hates and that does not come easily to but my son excels in and loves made them both feel bad.  After "talking" things over with other homeschoolers on this board (it really helps to brainstorm with other parents), I asked the kids what they wanted to do, instead of just marching us forward on my own plan.  The kids were both so relieved that I was considering letting them separate for this subject and are both far more enthusiastic about tackling history now.  I wish I had asked them sooner...

 

7.  Get involved with other families, whether they are homeschooling or not.  If you have close friends, don't lose them.  The kids need friends, too, not just acquaintances they meet at extracurricular activities.  This may not always be easy to achieve.  We are having a hard time with this ourselves.  However, I have been trying to actively get to know other families and invite their kids to our house to hang out, not in structured planned play, but just to give the kids time to create their own games and learn how to interact.  The kids are both involved with extra curricular activities and groups through our homeschool co-op, which helps, but the group is very scattered.  No one really near us so no spontaneous play dates unfortunately...  

 

I know I have rambled on.  Sorry.  Just ignore the bulk of this post if you don't have the time or energy...

I know this is a daunting task, but I think it will also be a really rewarding one for all of you.  Good luck!  Best wishes and big hugs.  I do have some great resources that i use.  Some might help you, too, if you are interested. I am certain others can chime in, too, if you have specific questions....

[OneStepAtATime]

By the way, when I posted the above, I had actually been writing bits of it all day and didn't see any of the other responses.  When I mentioned Lecka specifically as helping me, I didn't mean to exclude anyone.  Just hadn't seen their posts yet.  Heathermomster and OhElizabeth have been of tremendous help to me, too.  Some really great people here.

 

 

[kbutton]

I have one 2e kid (gifted, Asperger's, sensory, dysgraphia) and a Kindergartener that is gifted (may have some auditory processing issues). It's hairy at times, but it's doable. They take turns being needy and having bouts of independence. They are just far enough apart that I can't really do any of the same work with them (we do science with a few modifications), so I am a bit stretched. I think previous posters pointed out the things you need to think through really well. 

 

For general information, I really like the Coffee Klatch network and their podcasts (or archived broadcasts online) at http://thecoffeeklatch.com/. They have a number of radio shows that talk about special needs and sometimes about gifted 2e kids. You can see the lineup for both individual shows and for the whole network. It's nice to have something to listen to while I get something done since I have only so much time for reading. They do have some NLD broadcasts (I've listened because I am pretty sure an extended family member has NLD). Another good resource is the Gifted Homeschoolers Forum. They have good articles and links to lots of useful information. http://giftedhomeschoolers.org/

[kbutton]

Oh, and sometimes, it's not whether one option or another is better in an objective sense, but a subjective one. For instance, my son is still stressed at times, but because he's not bottling it up for seven or so hours only to explode at home, and I'm not spending an entire day on the road each week driving him to and from school, we have so many more options. We also see him at both his best and worst, not just at his worst. We truly thought that we might never see our son happy again except during prolonged school breaks. It's nice to have him back!

[PeterPan]

He is stable on meds and not violent. They do well together...don't fight and don't really bug each other. My DD is extremely tolerant, loving and protective of her older brother. I am actually more concerned about the academic aspect than the kids being together.

You'll be fine.  Academics just require flexibility on your part and time to work out.  Time your time, ramp up slowly (one subject at a time), and give yourself grace.  Consider options you hadn't been open to that are non-traditional but might make him blossom or be more engaged.  You're going to be fine on the academics, really.  

 

Btw, I wasn't meaning to offend you on the violence thing or assume anything.  My dad has a few labels, so I've lived with all sorts of things.  It sounds like their personalities get on very well, so that's wonderful.  Hopefully that will be awesome. 

 

When you've thought through everything, just plow forward. :)

[ebrindam]

You'll be fine.  Academics just require flexibility on your part and time to work out.  Time your time, ramp up slowly (one subject at a time), and give yourself grace.  Consider options you hadn't been open to that are non-traditional but might make him blossom or be more engaged.  You're going to be fine on the academics, really.  

 

Btw, I wasn't meaning to offend you on the violence thing or assume anything.  My dad has a few labels, so I've lived with all sorts of things.  It sounds like their personalities get on very well, so that's wonderful.  Hopefully that will be awesome. 

 

When you've thought through everything, just plow forward. :)

 

Not offended at all...just still not sure I can do it. :-) DD is definitely not going to school...I just can't decide if it's really best for DS or not.

[PeterPan]

Not offended at all...just still not sure I can do it. :-) DD is definitely not going to school...I just can't decide if it's really best for DS or not.

Sigh, that's a good question.  I would start where OneStep was saying, with a list of your goals and whys.  We all have had to do that.  It will keep you focused and help you sort things out.  You might find that your goals for him aren't purely academic or that there are some non-academic things that are more important to you than academics that school would hit and that that's what is behind your desire to homeschool.  Sometimes it takes a while to put words to all that, so actually sitting down and listing them is a good process.

 

For instance, you might decide social skills or blossoming as a person or finishing high school with some vocational skills are highly important to you.  You might decide that issues with anxiety or living skills are more important than vocational.  And when you decide what you need to accomplish, then you can sort through where those things can be accomplished.  

 

Sometimes we have funny goals that drive us.  With my dd when we started, my goals were for her to love God, love others, and have skills with which to serve.  That's all I cared about.  I see that maturing now and transitioning, now that she's in high school.  Now it's wanting her to leave with a marketable skill, something she does well.  I try to nurture in her maturity (spiritual, emotional), because that's an extension of how you interact, love, and serve.  Most people have academic goals, and really the only goals in the back of my mind were that more in the sense of nots, that she not feel limited, that she not be peer-centered in her assessment of what was worthwhile or what she could do, that she not think that was she saw around her was the extent of her opportunities, etc.  But those aren't the high standards many have.  So I think you can have very practical goals that fit the child and then think through where they can be accomplished.  I think some goals *can* be accomplished in a school setting and some can't.  So put it down on paper, pray over the paper, talk with your dh or wise counselors...  

 

Don't doubt yourself though.  If you take it on, you'll be fine.  A lot of this is about love finding a way.  Kids fall through the cracks in school because they only have teachers there, not mothers.  What mothers lack in professional training they make up for with a heart willing to research and be diligent and find the answers and not give up.  If there are emotional problems or he's unwilling to work with you, that's harder.  But if it's just a question of academics, you can do this.  Don't doubt it.  :)

[OneStepAtATime]

Not offended at all...just still not sure I can do it. :-) DD is definitely not going to school...I just can't decide if it's really best for DS or not.

How is he doing in school right now?  What are the reasons that you feel he should stay in for this year but be pulled out for next year?  Will he be moving to a different school next year? Or do you feel you need time to prepare?  Or you don't want to disrupt his schedule during the school year?  Or maybe you want to give your daughter more time with you before trying to homeschool both?  Not trying to be nosy.  I just think others might be able to help more if the specifics were better understood.

 

Honestly, there are a lot of homeschoolers that don't do it forever.  You might try it for a year, really commit to making it work for that year, then reevaluate at the end of the year.  Of course, if you find 3 months into this process that things are really, really, really not working because of your special circumstances, would you have the option to put him back in sooner?

 

For our own family, we have agreed that every year we will reevaluate as a family if homeschooling is working and if it isn't what our alternatives are at that time.  It has helped us all to realize that the path we pick now may not work always and that's o.k.  My kids had some great experiences at their old school and had some great teachers.  They also had a couple of really, really awful teachers.  Mainly, though, we started homeschooling my eldest because she just wasn't going to be able to keep up with the work required of a middle schooler without a TON of accomodations and the remediation they could provide was poorly designed, ineffective and possibly even detrimental.  It was her choice to homeschool and we honored it.  My younger had always done well in school so homeschooling was never a thought for him until he had such a toxic 2nd grade year that we yanked him out abruptly as we saw his mental health take an alarming and unexpected downhill turn (horribly toxic environment with an inexperienced, inflexible teacher who belittled him constantly for slow handwriting and nearly destroyed his love of learning, his self-confidence, his naturally positive personality, etc.).  He still has some signs of PTSD but things are definitely improving.  If either ever chose to go back, though, we would probably try to find a way to make it work. They have experienced both situations so they know what to expect.

 

Nothing is set in stone, so whatever you decide, you can always change your mind if it isn't working and you do have some time to decide.  Maybe making a list of all the pros and cons would help?  Or plan on a trial run this summer?

[OneStepAtATime]

Sigh, that's a good question.  I would start where OneStep was saying, with a list of your goals and whys.  We all have had to do that.  It will keep you focused and help you sort things out.  You might find that your goals for him aren't purely academic or that there are some non-academic things that are more important to you than academics that school would hit and that that's what is behind your desire to homeschool.  Sometimes it takes a while to put words to all that, so actually sitting down and listing them is a good process.

 

For instance, you might decide social skills or blossoming as a person or finishing high school with some vocational skills are highly important to you.  You might decide that issues with anxiety or living skills are more important than vocational.  And when you decide what you need to accomplish, then you can sort through where those things can be accomplished.  

 

Sometimes we have funny goals that drive us.  With my dd when we started, my goals were for her to love God, love others, and have skills with which to serve.  That's all I cared about.  I see that maturing now and transitioning, now that she's in high school.  Now it's wanting her to leave with a marketable skill, something she does well.  I try to nurture in her maturity (spiritual, emotional), because that's an extension of how you interact, love, and serve.  Most people have academic goals, and really the only goals in the back of my mind were that more in the sense of nots, that she not feel limited, that she not be peer-centered in her assessment of what was worthwhile or what she could do, that she not think that was she saw around her was the extent of her opportunities, etc.  But those aren't the high standards many have.  So I think you can have very practical goals that fit the child and then think through where they can be accomplished.  I think some goals *can* be accomplished in a school setting and some can't.  So put it down on paper, pray over the paper, talk with your dh or wise counselors...  

 

Don't doubt yourself though.  If you take it on, you'll be fine.  A lot of this is about love finding a way.  Kids fall through the cracks in school because they only have teachers there, not mothers.  What mothers lack in professional training they make up for with a heart willing to research and be diligent and find the answers and not give up.  If there are emotional problems or he's unwilling to work with you, that's harder.  But if it's just a question of academics, you can do this.  Don't doubt it.   :)

Absolutely great post.  I read it twice. 

[imagine.more]

Thanks so much for posting this! I'm about to be in this exact situation. We are adopting our 11 year old FD who is hearing impaired and has some sort of learning disability/low IQ (we're pursuing testing through the PS this year to help narrow it down) and while she's a sweet, compliant kid she definitely struggles to learn and is reading at a 1st grade level in 5th grade (should be in 6th grade). Then I have a gifted Kindergarten son who I'm homeschooling who taught himself to read at 2.5 and is the typical absentminded professor type. Thank goodness they get along well but the learning disparity really does create some issues. We're hoping to have both of them at home next year since Daisy has made zero reading progress in the past year of public school even with an IEP and support.

 

Anyway, I'll be reading along and I'm curious to know how it goes for you! 

[OneStepAtATime]

Thanks so much for posting this! I'm about to be in this exact situation. We are adopting our 11 year old FD who is hearing impaired and has some sort of learning disability/low IQ (we're pursuing testing through the PS this year to help narrow it down) and while she's a sweet, compliant kid she definitely struggles to learn and is reading at a 1st grade level in 5th grade (should be in 6th grade). Then I have a gifted Kindergarten son who I'm homeschooling who taught himself to read at 2.5 and is the typical absentminded professor type. Thank goodness they get along well but the learning disparity really does create some issues. We're hoping to have both of them at home next year since Daisy has made zero reading progress in the past year of public school even with an IEP and support.

 

Anyway, I'll be reading along and I'm curious to know how it goes for you! 

I would just mention that a lot of school evaluations do not look at the big picture and may not be as comprehensive as you might need and may be given by someone with limited training, only seeing the evaluation through a limited lens.  School evals tend to focus only on what the deficits are as related to a classroom setting, not the child's overall strengths and weaknesses.  Some have found school evals useful, but a lot (my included) did not.  Depends on the school and the evaluator.  Our private evaluation was over 20 pages long and took 3 hours to explain, but gave us tremendous information on many strengths we didn't even know the kids had, as well as where the weaknesses are and avenues to address those weaknesses.  The school eval took about 15 minutes to explain and was virtually worthless. Hopefully, you will get someone better trained and with a broader perspective.  Good luck and best wishes.

[SandyKC]

The academic aspect, I think, is doable.  My youngest was ahead of my oldest when we started, but it ultimately worked well.  There are times when it's a bit tricky to manage, but  we were able to do more together that way by using some of the same programs for both boys.  For example, if you used a program like Lexia Reading for both kids.. Since it has mastery-based leveling, it can work for both advanced and lower level and it's easier on you if they're doing the same or similar programs.  For us, we enjoyed reading MANY books together as a threesome and were able to do that with fairly advanced books.  The age gap between my two isn't as big, so that may be more of an issue for you.  Using creative scheduling may help.. We did that where differentiated instruction needed to happen.  I'd have one child work on something independent (like watch a show on the History channel) while I worked one-on-one with the other.  By alternating time slots with me we were able to manage well.

He is stable on meds and not violent. They do well together...don't fight and don't really bug each other. My DD is extremely tolerant, loving and protective of her older brother. I am actually more concerned about the academic aspect than the kids being together.