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How did you leave home and at what age?


Mama Geek
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Wow, what is with all these insanely young people leaving home and marrying?!

 

My mother married at 18. The one thing she repeated to me 100,000 times throughout my young life was do not get married that young. Except for her (and people on this board), I have never met anyone in my real life who married that young.

My mother married at 19. Her mother lectured my sister about going to college and not doing something stupid like dropping out to get married. Grandma died before I was deemed old enough for that lecture.

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I was only 17. I left because I wanted to live "my own life"-- so I moved out with friends to Little 5 Points in Atlanta. It was 1989. I moved back when I was 22 after doing life my own way -- it was totally disastrous. I was actually doing drugs and destroying myself. My parents intervened. They rented a Uhaul and came and loaded my stuff up and me & moved my butt home. They had a hard talk with me -- told me to enroll at the university and get my s$&t together. They said life is not meant to be wasted & I was throwing it away with both hands. So I listened, and am so grateful!!

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I was 10. My folks packed my suitcase with things I'd need (my siblings too) we drove with the other American kids from the area to the school. They unpacked my suitcase. Showed me how to make my bed with a hospital corner, introduced me to my teachers. They spent the night somewhere else but came back in the morning to eat breakfast with all the "dorm" kids before driving back. 

 

I spent my senior year living of high school at home.

 

I gladly left at the end after graduation for college! 

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My parents stopped "parenting" my siblings and I when as 14 yo.  My dad was a chronic alcoholic and my mom spent all her time chasing him and his various girlfriends around.  They were destructive, self centered and my life was chaotic at best.  From that time forward I was basically on my own.  

 

I'd use b-day money from my grandparents to purchase basic items for myself like toilet paper, laundry detergent, shampoo etc. Occasionally I'd be given a blank check by my mother and dropped off at the grocery store and be told not to spend over $whateveramountavailable$.  So here I was a kid living in he77 trying to decided what my brothers and could survive on.  Several times a year my dad would give me a $100 dollar bill (drunken guilt) and I'd use it for school lunches, tampons and other must have items that I had to hide to keep my mother from stealing and using.

 

At 16 I worked as much as possible while attending high school.  Graduated at 17 and started working full time.  My then boyfriend (now husband) had been on his own since he was 16 he also had an alcoholic father and a non mother.  I continued to live in my parents home while saving money and buying household goods to move out.  My father hadn't lived in the home since I was 13 and my mom was seldom there. 

 

I moved out without informing anyone one day.  My mother showed up (someone told her they saw me moving) and informed me not to take "her stuff" or she'd call the sheriff.  So I left with my clothes and shoes and have never been back.

 

I haven't spoken to or seen either parent in years.  I know my mother is alive, but have no idea about my father.

 

Dh (my then boyfriend) and I have been married 26 years.  College was not something either of us considered we were just trying to survive. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Wow, what is with all these insanely young people leaving home and marrying?!

 

My mother married at 18.  The one thing she repeated to me 100,000 times throughout my young life was do not get married that young.  Except for her (and people on this board), I have never met anyone in my real life who married that young.

 

:iagree: 

 

My mother got married at 19 and I saw how that worked out. I don't know anyone who got married before mid-late 20s. 

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Well... Dh and I had our oldest son when I was a junior in high school. That same year, my dad became very ill and permanently disabled. We planned our wedding for when I was 18 and he was 19. My mom decided that if my dad was in his last years, they were going to move to Florida because he loved it there. She packed up my 18 year old self, my 19 year old husband, our 1 year old son, my 24 year old brother and my dad and off we moved to Florida from Illinois. She bought a single family home that had an in law suite. We lived in the in law suite for the bargain price of $100 a month for nearly 6 years. We finished college, saved for a house and new car, etc. we helped with my dad and they helped with our baby. We eventually moved out when I was 24 and bought our first house. 2 years later, my dad passed away. My mom needed to sell her house and we needed a bigger house because we had a new baby. So, we bought her house that we still own and rent out today. I am so thankful for my parents. They provided the love and support that were key to my dh and I getting to where we are now.

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Wow, what is with all these insanely young people leaving home and marrying?!

 

My mother married at 18.  The one thing she repeated to me 100,000 times throughout my young life was do not get married that young.  Except for her (and people on this board), I have never met anyone in my real life who married that young.

I got  married 12 years after I left home.  I was self sufficient the entire time.  

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After living with an abusive/alcoholic single mom, I moved out on my own at 17.

Worked in a bar and went to high school.  Partly because school began at 8 am and I was getting out of work at 2 am I quit school.  Tried to continue my education by going to community college the following semester. 

Dropped out.  

Got engaged to a 30 year old bar manager coke addict (I did not know enough to know he was an addict or even using) at 19.

Found out - dumped him.

Moved in with my father and his wife - caused a big riff for them - moved out into a small vacation home my grandmother owned.

 

While working in that bar, became friends with and eventually (after quitting said bar) ended up dating/marrying my current husband of 20 years.  I was able to go back to school while we were engaged and finished getting my degree with honors.

 

His mom introduced me to Jesus by accepting and loving me in spite of how afraid she must have been of her sweet son marrying a ball of trash like me.

My dh and I became christians, and struggled to learn healthy ways to fight, live and love.  I still struggle with anger, dependency, and fear but it is getting better.

 

We have 4 beautiful children, serve our local church body with all our hearts and hope that we are a testimony to the life-changing power of the gospel of grace.  Jesus, truly, changed my life.

(John 15:5 If a man remains in Me, he will bear much fruit.  Apart from Me, he can do nothing. - the first bible verse I ever memorized)

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Hey Callie -

I'm so sorry.  What a horrible way to have to grow up.

Hugs.

 

and can I just say I still get jealous hearing of all the healthy ways young women can grow up and find love?

Sigh.

 

Glad things finally work out but man, growing up the hard way some of us have had to is unfair and rife with sucky consequences.

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I didn't move out until shortly before marrying, but I could have at that point been self sufficient.  My husband to be moved here 2 months before we married and I paid all the bills because he didn't have a job yet. 

 

But there is no way I could have been self sufficient at 18 unless living in a cardboard box is considered self sufficient.

I lived 3000 miles away from my parents.  I had 3 part-time jobs to put myself through college.  I had my own bank account.  I made my own medical decisions.  I was responsible for my own free time on vacations etc.  So I was self sufficient from 17 on.  In retrospect I wish I hadn't been.  I didn't make all the best decisions during that time and got myself into some pretty hot water.  But it was what it was.  I'm sure that helped to make me who I am now but I don't think it is some kind of a badge to wear.  And I'm sure that others with very different circumstances were able to learn the same things I did - as problems came up in their own lives.  

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I lived at home all through my undergrad and commuted to school. My parents didn't pay for any of my school (scholarships did), but they provided free room and board and a car to drive. I did pay some for the use of the car, maybe the cost of insurance if I remember correctly. It worked out really well for me.

 

I moved out for good at 21 to start grad school in a neighboring state. I bought that car from my parents, and then I was completely financially on my own until I graduated and got married at 23.

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Wow, what is with all these insanely young people leaving home and marrying?!

 

My mother married at 18.  The one thing she repeated to me 100,000 times throughout my young life was do not get married that young.  Except for her (and people on this board), I have never met anyone in my real life who married that young.

Most of the females I know who are married got married between 16 and 20. Nowadays most young people don't bother to get married, they just move in with their boyfriend, they are still between 16 and 20 when they do that.

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My parents stopped "parenting" my siblings and I when as 14 yo. My dad was a chronic alcoholic and my mom spent all her time chasing him and his various girlfriends around. They were destructive, self centered and my life was chaotic at best. From that time forward I was basically on my own.

 

I'd use b-day money from my grandparents to purchase basic items for myself like toilet paper, laundry detergent, shampoo etc. Occasionally I'd be given a blank check by my mother and dropped off at the grocery store and be told not to spend over $whateveramountavailable$. So here I was a kid living in he77 trying to decided what my brothers and could survive on. Several times a year my dad would give me a $100 dollar bill (drunken guilt) and I'd use it for school lunches, tampons and other must have items that I had to hide to keep my mother from stealing and using.

 

At 16 I worked as much as possible while attending high school. Graduated at 17 and started working full time. My then boyfriend (now husband) had been on his own since he was 16 he also had an alcoholic father and a non mother. I continued to live in my parents home while saving money and buying household goods to move out. My father hadn't lived in the home since I was 13 and my mom was seldom there.

 

I moved out without informing anyone one day. My mother showed up (someone told her they saw me moving) and informed me not to take "her stuff" or she'd call the sheriff. So I left with my clothes and shoes and have never been back.

 

I haven't spoken to or seen either parent in years. I know my mother is alive, but have no idea about my father.

 

Dh (my then boyfriend) and I have been married 26 years. College was not something either of us considered we were just trying to survive.

 

(((Callie))))

 

That is a heartbreaking story. With a good outcome it sounds like.

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Most of the females I know who are married got married between 16 and 20. Nowadays most young people don't bother to get married, they just move in with their boyfriend, they are still between 16 and 20 when they do that.

 

I was just going to keep my mouth shut, but I was also taken aback by those ages popping up.  16?  I'll admit to being in a socio-demographic bubble, but where is this happening?

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Well... Dh and I had our oldest son when I was a junior in high school. That same year, my dad became very ill and permanently disabled. We planned our wedding for when I was 18 and he was 19. My mom decided that if my dad was in his last years, they were going to move to Florida because he loved it there. She packed up my 18 year old self, my 19 year old husband, our 1 year old son, my 24 year old brother and my dad and off we moved to Florida from Illinois. She bought a single family home that had an in law suite. We lived in the in law suite for the bargain price of $100 a month for nearly 6 years. We finished college, saved for a house and new car, etc. we helped with my dad and they helped with our baby. We eventually moved out when I was 24 and bought our first house. 2 years later, my dad passed away. My mom needed to sell her house and we needed a bigger house because we had a new baby. So, we bought her house that we still own and rent out today. I am so thankful for my parents. They provided the love and support that were key to my dh and I getting to where we are now.

Very sweet story. Supportive parents can make all the difference.

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Wow, what is with all these insanely young people leaving home and marrying?!

 

My mother married at 18. The one thing she repeated to me 100,000 times throughout my young life was do not get married that young. Except for her (and people on this board), I have never met anyone in my real life who married that young.

I got married just before my 22nd birthday. In different circumstances we'd have waited, but I was active duty military and it made financial sense.

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After living with an abusive/alcoholic single mom, I moved out on my own at 17.

Worked in a bar and went to high school. Partly because school began at 8 am and I was getting out of work at 2 am I quit school. Tried to continue my education by going to community college the following semester.

Dropped out.

Got engaged to a 30 year old bar manager coke addict (I did not know enough to know he was an addict or even using) at 19.

Found out - dumped him.

Moved in with my father and his wife - caused a big riff for them - moved out into a small vacation home my grandmother owned.

 

While working in that bar, became friends with and eventually (after quitting said bar) ended up dating/marrying my current husband of 20 years. I was able to go back to school while we were engaged and finished getting my degree with honors.

 

His mom introduced me to Jesus by accepting and loving me in spite of how afraid she must have been of her sweet son marrying a ball of trash like me.

My dh and I became christians, and struggled to learn healthy ways to fight, live and love. I still struggle with anger, dependency, and fear but it is getting better.

 

We have 4 beautiful children, serve our local church body with all our hearts and hope that we are a testimony to the life-changing power of the gospel of grace. Jesus, truly, changed my life.

(John 15:5 If a man remains in Me, he will bear much fruit. Apart from Me, he can do nothing. - the first bible verse I ever memorized)

(((Momee)))

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I was just going to keep my mouth shut, but I was also taken aback by those ages popping up. 16? I'll admit to being in a socio-demographic bubble, but where is this happening?

30 years ago in AR for me. We were 18 and 19. My best friend got married when they were 17 and 18.

 

I don't know anyone recently who married at 16.

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I don't know about other states, but in Texas in 1983 it was legal to get married get married at 14 with parental consent. After hitchhiking out of state, and my father not knowing where I was for almost a year. He gladly signed papers for me to be married just after my 15th birthday. I was divorced in a year, it was an abusive relationship. Now in Texas you have to be 16 with parental consent. Although some states still allow marriage below 16, it is rare now.

 

I knew a ton of folks back then married before 16 here. One of my sisters was married at 16 with parental consent, she was pregnant though.

 

Now most of the legal teens ( 17 is the legal age of consent here ) and 20 somethings just live together. 

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Wow, what is with all these insanely young people leaving home and marrying?!

 

My mother married at 18.  The one thing she repeated to me 100,000 times throughout my young life was do not get married that young.  Except for her (and people on this board), I have never met anyone in my real life who married that young.

 

 

I was just going to keep my mouth shut, but I was also taken aback by those ages popping up.  16?  I'll admit to being in a socio-demographic bubble, but where is this happening?

 

I didn't bother getting married to dh for years. But we did move in together when I was 18, joined bank accounts got life insurance policies on each other and wrote our wills. (I always liked to prepare for the worst)

 

My SIL (brother's wife) was still had a year of highschool left after she married my brother. She did say that once she had a thing she was suppose to get her parents to sign and she said, "I'm not planning to see my parents soon. Is it okay if I get my husband to sign it?"

 

My cousin's husband was 16 (Maybe 17?) when they married, but they had been dating since he was 12. 

 

I know many people married - or might as well be married by age 19. All of them are still together and happy with the decision to marry. 

 

I also know several people who knew by age 12 who they would marry. (My Dad, my brother, my cousin)

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I was just going to keep my mouth shut, but I was also taken aback by those ages popping up.  16?  I'll admit to being in a socio-demographic bubble, but where is this happening?

Like I said, they don't bother getting married nowadays, just shift in with each other.

 

My mother was married at 16. My next door neighbor was married at 16. It was quite common 40 years ago.

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This has been interesting to read.

 

While I married at 19, it was WAY earlier than most of my same-aged, school peers.  There were a couple that married early in college like me, but most of them married in their late 20s or early 30s.  Some are still unmarried.  Most are just now (mid-30s) having children.  

 

I think this is fairly typical for the area I live in.  19 and 20 are early outliers, most getting married mid-to-late 20s, some laters getting married in their 30s.

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  Then when we started hubby's practice and moved here, I was completely shocked..  I had an 18 month old and was expecting my 2nd.  Everyone our age had kids in late elementary school/junior high...  I was a very odd duck here..  

 

 

I've found myself in similar situations often. I'm 42 & meet people my age with teens and kids in their early 20's.  Some are grandparents even. It blows my mind to think I'm old enough to have grandchildren.  

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Tricky question.  I went to boarding school from the age of 8.  I didn't technically leave home then, but I did live at school 9 months out of the year.

 

Then I flew half way around the world to go to college on my own.  I lived in the US and my parents lived in E. Africa.  No internet, phone calls were very costly and not easy to make and didn't always go through.

 

I was 18 when I went to college.  I never lived with my parents again, even during any times they were in the US.  I graduated college at 22 and started working full time.  Lived on my own for 7 more years until I married at 29.

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I left for college at age 17 (fall of 2000).  Attended there for a year, living on campus, moved home for the summer and got married that August (2001).   DH and I then moved to the city our school was located in (3.5 hours from my grandparents at the time), but decided to stop attending there after a semester and moved 17 hours away the following May (2002).  It may or may not be a coincidence that my grandparents were at that time planning a move to the city we lived in...:leaving:

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Around here 22 is considered very young to get married.

 

I left for college far, far away at barely 18 (July birthday), came home rarely until things went super-bad after 3 semesters.   Lived with parents again for a year, moved out with ex and was with him for 12 years total.  Moved into my parents house for 6 months when first separated (at 33 years old), rented a variety of places for the next two years before moving in with dh.

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