Mama Geek Posted October 30, 2013 Share Posted October 30, 2013 I was 18 and went away to college for a year. I then spent 1 semester taking college classes at home and planning my wedding. I have been married now for soon to be 19 years. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted October 30, 2013 Share Posted October 30, 2013 I flunked out of college 1st semester, came home, and got "homesick" for my college friends. So I drove back out, found an apartment, and got a job a little before my 19th birthday. I did move back home for two short periods before marrying dh at 23. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted October 30, 2013 Share Posted October 30, 2013 Mine is a stupid story. I was having some privacy issues with my mom. I was 18 and working full time, also paying half the rent and utilities so felt I could come and go as I pleased. I caught her listening in on one of my phone conversations with my boyfriend and I got really mad. I gave notice at my job the next day and moved out to live with my boyfriend in a city an hour and a half away from my mom. He was in college at the time. So really I moved out due to a fight with my mom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted October 30, 2013 Share Posted October 30, 2013 I was 18 and went to college (ROTC too). I met hubby in college and we married from there. I've only returned home when visiting after I left. (The first summer I went home, other summers I was working and/or doing ROTC - then married.) No regrets and we've been married > 25years + still going strong. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lara in Colo Posted October 30, 2013 Share Posted October 30, 2013 I had been having issues with my mother for years (she is a Borderline personality) but I went to college several states away for one year, came back and got good job while attending college (staying at home). This was during a recession and house prices were very low, so I bought a condo (for 16 grand) and moved out. So I saddled myself with a mortgage and a dog when I was 20-- just so I could move out and get away from my mother and NEVER have to live with another human being. -- Of course she then moved into my condo with me--- but that is another story. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Camelfeet Posted October 30, 2013 Share Posted October 30, 2013 When I came back from my exchange program in Brazil I had just turned 17. I had been given an enormous amount of freedom while abroad and I was not able to adjust to the rules of the house, especially since my mother's common law husband at the time had moved his own teen daughter into the home while I was away and we didn't get along. I moved out within 6 months of coming back. When I was 19, my father moved into my apartment. I don't consider this moving back home or living with my parents, because it was my apartment/lease and I paid the majority of the bills. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Santi Posted October 30, 2013 Share Posted October 30, 2013 I was 16. My boyfriend and two of our friends got into the same/very close by colleges so we got a place together. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pawz4me Posted October 30, 2013 Share Posted October 30, 2013 Right after high school I went to community college, got an AAS degree and had a good job lined up before I graduated. I continued to live with my parents while saving everything I could (except I did buy myself a new car that I paid for in cash). Three months before my 23rd birthday I made a 30 percent down payment on a house of my own, and moved out of my parents' house. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama Geek Posted October 30, 2013 Author Share Posted October 30, 2013 I had been having issues with my mother for years (she is a Borderline personality) but I went to college several states away for one year, came back and got good job while attending college (staying at home). This was during a recession and house prices were very low, so I bought a condo (for 16 grand) and moved out. So I saddled myself with a mortgage and a dog when I was 20-- just so I could move out and get away from my mother and NEVER have to live with another human being. -- Of course she then moved into my condo with me--- but that is another story. Hopefully you at least had some time on your own in your condo before she moved in with you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted October 30, 2013 Share Posted October 30, 2013 I was 23. I had lived away getting my BS and MEd for 5 years and the lived at home 1 year working and going to night law school. My dad was furious that moved out. He was under the impression that everyone should live with their parents until they marry and are ready to buy a house. That is what my older siblings had done. It was unpleasant living with father who is very controlling. And I never would have gotten to know dh if I'd stayed in my parents house. I was the "good child" who had always done what was asked so I think my moving out bothered my father more than if my sister or brother had done the same. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheReader Posted October 30, 2013 Share Posted October 30, 2013 Pretty simple story, really....graduated high school, went to college, boyfriend and I got married after my college graduation, we rented the garage apartment from his parents for a year, returned to college after saving for a year so he could finish his degree, and have been on our own ever since......we've been married 16 yrs now, together for 21. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matryoshka Posted October 30, 2013 Share Posted October 30, 2013 Graduated hs at 17, then did a year abroad in Germany, went to college when I came back. I did move back in to my parents' house after I graduated college for almost a year, which was difficult after being much more independent for 5 years. As soon as I got a job that would pay enough for me to get an apartment with 3 roommates, I moved out for good. Didn't meet dh till I was 28, I shudder to think what it would have been like to live at home till then! :svengo: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted October 30, 2013 Share Posted October 30, 2013 I don't consider going to college away fromhome truly moving out. I went, got engaged while in college, failed a couple of crucial courses in what should have been my last semester, and didn't graduate. I got married in July as planned. That's when I moved out. Finished college on my own after establishing residency in a new state. My parents wouldn't pay for college after I was married. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted October 30, 2013 Share Posted October 30, 2013 I went away to university 18 (an eight hour train journey away) - I came home three times a year for the university breaks. My third year at university I spent in France, again coming back for breaks three times. When I left university, I went to China for a year as a teacher, then back home for the summer, to France for a year, then back home for the summer. After that, I went to Taiwan (when I was 24) and never lived at home again - went straight from Taiwan to California, then on to London, Hong Kong, China and Scotland. L Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carriede Posted October 30, 2013 Share Posted October 30, 2013 I went to college, which my parents paid a fair chunk of. I do not consider that moving out since I was still a dependent. Upon my college graduation, I got a full time job and became financially independent, so I consider that time as having moved out. I was 22. I worked as a secretary about a year until DH (then DF) graduated. We got married, then moved from FL to KS where DH had found a job. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jelbe5 Posted October 30, 2013 Share Posted October 30, 2013 I also left at 18 for college but moved back in with my parents after graduation. I worked and saved until I married my first husband. My parents charged me a very reasonable room and board which I happily paid. When my first husband and I separated I moved back in with my parents for three months while I collected myself and found my own apartment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Strawberry Posted October 30, 2013 Share Posted October 30, 2013 I was working my way through school, ran out of tuition money (couldn't afford to transfer from 2 year to 4year), and had some personal problems. I joined the military for practical job experience, college money, an adventure, and a fresh start. I was 21. I have only been back to visit. Now that I'I'm settled 2000 miles away, I don't go back anymore. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wabi Sabi Posted October 30, 2013 Share Posted October 30, 2013 I was a 17 year old high school senior when I moved out and was taken in by my then-boyfriend's family. I lived with them for the last year of high school and they provided for me just like I was their own child, including paying my private high school tuition. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lavender's green Posted October 30, 2013 Share Posted October 30, 2013 I went away to college at 18 but only actually lived at home again twice - once for a couple months in my sophomore year when I was extremely depressed, and then again the summer after that. Other than that I was always in my college town, although I wasn't totally financially independent of my parents until age 22 when I married DH. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magnificent_baby Posted October 30, 2013 Share Posted October 30, 2013 I moved out immediately after graduating nursing school and starting full time employment, so I was almost 20. Lived alone in an apartment until I got married at 22. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EKS Posted October 30, 2013 Share Posted October 30, 2013 I went to college at age 17 (turned 18 that fall). I lived at home once again for a summer two years later. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted October 30, 2013 Share Posted October 30, 2013 Grabbed by my hair, thrown face first at some stairs, told to pack my bags and get the hell out. Eighteen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wintermom Posted October 30, 2013 Share Posted October 30, 2013 I lived at home while finishing a bachelors degree, and got a job at a community college in Norway at age 23. I never moved back home again, or even to the same city as my parents and family, though I did return to Canada. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudoMom Posted October 30, 2013 Share Posted October 30, 2013 I lived at home while working retail full time and attending college. But when I was 20, I met dh--he lived a few states away from me (he's 6 years older, so he was already done with college, had a job, etc, and lived a few states away from his parents). I dropped out of college and moved 18 hours away to be near him. Once I got out here, I got a job and a small studio apartment. We were married 11 months after my arrival in this state. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HRAAB Posted October 30, 2013 Share Posted October 30, 2013 I graduated from high school the summer before I turned 17. I was burned out on school so I got a job and worked for a year before I could face any more school. I moved into an apartment with a girlfriend when I was 18 and started back to school part-time. I lived on my own until a couple months before I got married at 24 and moved back in with my parents. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heatherwith4 Posted October 30, 2013 Share Posted October 30, 2013 I got married at 19, so I moved in with DH. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoobie Posted October 30, 2013 Share Posted October 30, 2013 I don't consider going to college away fromhome truly moving out. I went, got engaged while in college, failed a couple of crucial courses in what should have been my last semester, and didn't graduate. I got married in July as planned. That's when I moved out. Finished college on my own after establishing residency in a new state. My parents wouldn't pay for college after I was married. Does that depend on who's financing college? I had scholarships and worked 30-40 hours a week. My dad did pay for my car insurance. I came home for winter break my first year but that was a disaster, so I only came back for brief visits after that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FriedClams Posted October 30, 2013 Share Posted October 30, 2013 I started boarding school at 14. I haven't lived at home full time since (though I did go home for breaks, etc. during high school). I went to a national military academy at 18, and after graduation started the move-every-2-years drill until I got out 10 years after graduation. I was pretty much financially independent from 18 on. I got married at 27. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KungFuPanda Posted October 30, 2013 Share Posted October 30, 2013 I moved out two weeks after high school graduation and was financially independent from that moment until today. I consider paying ALL your own bills 'moving out'. I spent four years in the Army, got married, then spent four years in college among people who 'thought' they'd moved out but were still financially dependent upon their parents. DH and I did not live on campus. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheReader Posted October 30, 2013 Share Posted October 30, 2013 I moved out two weeks after high school graduation and was financially independent from that moment until today. I consider paying ALL your own bills 'moving out'. I spent four years in the Army, got married, then spent four years in college among people who 'thought' they'd moved out but were still financially dependent upon their parents. DH and I did not live on campus. Right, this. When I went to college, while I still spent summers at my mom's house, I was basically independent from her. But then, I began paying my own way the minute I started working as a sophomore in high school. From that moment, I paid for my clothes, car payment/car insurance, gas, lunch, and often even loaned my mom money for bills. IN college, I did have scholarships & loans, & lived on campus, but anything not covered by the room & board, I paid for -- gas, extras, phone bill, still paid my car insurance, etc. I worked weekends & summers to pay the extras I needed. For me, I consider it as having moved out. I did not depend on my mom for anything at that point. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheReader Posted October 30, 2013 Share Posted October 30, 2013 Grabbed by my hair, thrown face first at some stairs, told to pack my bags and get the hell out. Eighteen. this makes me so very sad for you. I wish I could just come and give you a great big hug; or at least, to your 18 yr old self. ((((hugs)))) I'm sorry you had to endure that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sheryl Posted October 30, 2013 Share Posted October 30, 2013 At 18 I left for college for 4+ years. I don't consider that "leaving home" though as my parents financed my education. About 6 months after graduating my dh and I were married and that was 33 years ago this past Friday! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momofkhm Posted October 30, 2013 Share Posted October 30, 2013 I went away to college at 17 but I don't count that as moving out since I was still home summers. After graduation at 21,the job I found was a state away. Mom drove down with me to find an apartment. They helped me furnish it and moved me in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted October 30, 2013 Share Posted October 30, 2013 I graduated high school at 16 on an accelerated course of study, and spent a summer working for Interlochen followed by several months of not being home much. I commuted into the city for college classes, often crashed with relatives, and was very busy with piano performance commitments. By the age of 17, I was away at college full time, living in dorms, and only home on school breaks with summers away at various music camps, seminars, etc. either working or taking master classes. I married DH at 20, and finished my senior year after our wedding. So, while I was hit and miss with my parents from 16-17, I was pretty much gone before 18 though certainly in regular contact. It was fairly painless. From my parents perspective, prior to that when I wasn't practicing the piano four hours per day, or studying for class, I was involved in choir, band, piano performance, accompanying, etc. My presence in the home from 13 years onward was sort of as a hotel, LOL. We still managed to carve out a week of family vacation each year, and mom still cooked for me and helped with my laundry, but they admit now that even then, I was a fairly independent spirit and they were kind of just a support network without a tremendous amount of hands on parenting taking place! I'm just a weirdo I guess. Dd was very much like that even though she was homeschooled. Independent, busy with lots of professional type commitments plus hobbies, travel...so in some respects, despite being her teachers as well as her parents, she kind of started cutting the apron strings very young - at 13 she spent a semester sort of self-homeschooling herself with my sister's oversight while sis taught 4th grade at a school on a reservation - dd volunteered as the interim school librarian and helped them computerize their library system as well as tutored in reading. It was a great experience for her. From there, it just kind of morphed into a lot of independence though obviously she wasn't financially independent yet. The ds's are far more "at home with us" and typically parented than she was and they won't really leave home in any sense of the phrase until they head to college dorms. Middle ds, if he chooses to do so, could easily graduate at 16.5 years and is mature enough to go away to college before his 17th birthday. However, he seems to kind of like us a bit and can't decide if he really wants to finish that early and move on, or take it a bit slower and enjoy more extra-curriculars and hang out with family. Our youngest is far more academically mature than he is emotionally mature, and I'd be thrilled if he had a gap year and didn't leave the nest for college until he's 19. We'll see how that pans out. If he had a gap year, we'd still want that to include some travel opportunities to help foster some independence, but again, due to his preference to be a homebody, and his shyness, it's going to take a little work to help that last little bird fly. Dh was a typical child. Typical school, graduate at a typical age, and left home for college dorms at his father's alma mater. He graduated, worked one year in another state - he was financially independent- and then married me. My dad left home at 15. He got a job with a local farmer who would pay him a wage plus room and board for milking before and after school plus other barn chores. He lived with that family, and believe me he was the boarder/worker...no soft spot or parent like behavior there...until he left for the air force at 17. I think that the three weeks before he left for basic he did come home and spend that time with his folks. He married my mom at 18. Very independent. My mom lived at home until she married, BUT she was the parentified child because her father died a very slow, painful death from cancer starting when she was 12 and her mother literally abandoned the running of the house and the parenting of the two younger children to my mother. None of the MANY relatives pitched in to help her, and I can honestly say that at 12, she became an adult and by 13 was entirely independent of her mother in just about every sense except the actual finances though mom was already taking in sewing/tailoring for pay. Moving away from home was a no brainer. Neither dh or I had parents that paid for college. We had some financial aid, had studied our behinds off to get scholarships, had a few, small student loans - nothing that was difficult to pay off by any stretch - and paid internships or campus jobs. We were completely financially independent of our parents. I think my folks occasionally sent a $20.00 bill, and dh's parents liked so send him gas money for his trips home to Florida from the Midwest. Since I spent so much of the summer working away from home in music camps, or performing for pay, my parents really didn't do anything financially for me until our wedding. However, I did certainly meet people who not only thought they were independent, when in fact, that was a pipe dream! LOL Faith Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted October 30, 2013 Share Posted October 30, 2013 At 18 I left for college for 4+ years. I don't consider that "leaving home" though as my parents financed my education. About 6 months after graduating my dh and I were married and that was 33 years ago this past Friday! :) Congratulations! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magnificent_baby Posted October 30, 2013 Share Posted October 30, 2013 Grabbed by my hair, thrown face first at some stairs, told to pack my bags and get the hell out. Eighteen. :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted October 30, 2013 Share Posted October 30, 2013 Zoobie--I think for some it's more gradual leaving. Yes, I feel it's tied to financial independence, though I know some folks have literally moved out (no bedroom preserved at the home, or only come for visits but actually change residency) but still receive some support from parents. I do consider them moved out. For college kids who live in a dorm, coming home summers and breaks, I don't consider that moved out. If they get an apartment but still receive help and go home for breaks, then it's a halfway situation, a gradual leaving. LOL--makes sense in my head... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alisoncooks Posted October 30, 2013 Share Posted October 30, 2013 I married at 19, so I consider that my official moving out. (I started college at 17, finished in 3 semesters after I was married.) We're coming up on our 14th anniv. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TammyinTN Posted October 30, 2013 Share Posted October 30, 2013 I was 19 and dh was 22. We were married in April and lived with my very kind parents until October. He finish his 2 year degree and went back into the military in September. Our dd was born on September 30th, and we moved to our first apartment 2 weeks later. He had went first and got everything set up and ready for us. We've been married now going on 27 years. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen in CO Posted October 30, 2013 Share Posted October 30, 2013 My parents drove me to college at 17. I never lived at home since then. I had a full scholarship then got a part-time job. I came home for summer for 2 years. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmandaVT Posted October 30, 2013 Share Posted October 30, 2013 I went a few states away to college for freshman year, hated it, came back to my home state (RI) and went to one of the state schools that I had pooh-poohed as a hs senior. Got an apartment with my hs best friend and we finished out our college years together there. My parents paid for my living expenses through college (state school + apartment was still about 75% less expensive than fancy out of state school). Got a job during college that translated to FT job when I graduated - then I took over my own expenses. That's when I count myself as being on my own. :-) Moved out of the shared apartment at 22 and lived by myself until I met DH at 24. We've been together 12 1/2 years now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted October 30, 2013 Share Posted October 30, 2013 Zoobie--I think for some it's more gradual leaving. Yes, I feel it's tied to financial independence, though I know some folks have literally moved out (no bedroom preserved at the home, or only come for visits but actually change residency) but still receive some support from parents. I do consider them moved out. For college kids who live in a dorm, coming home summers and breaks, I don't consider that moved out. If they get an apartment but still receive help and go home for breaks, then it's a halfway situation, a gradual leaving. LOL--makes sense in my head... I can agree with that if the parents are still providing financial support of some significance. However, if it is nothing more than a bedroom for Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter/Spring break, but the student is paying for college, working for their car insurance if they have a car, etc...if the only thing the parent pays is food and utilities just because their child is visiting, then I consider that the child has left home and is independent. DD and hubby are welcome to come spend a week or even a month with us, there jobs won't allow that, but still.... we'd love to have them, but this would not mean they are dependents. I know A LOT of college students whose parents do nothing more than provide a bedroom or couch for crashing in or on and nothing else in terms of finances. So, I consider those students independent. This is happening a lot around here because of the high unemployment rate and wage stagnation. Parents simply don't have money to help their young adults get launched in life. The kids aren't really gradually leaving, they are just visiting. If their parents didn't offer to let them crash, they'd remain on campus in the dorms paying their way with campus jobs or off campus work plus student loans, scholarships, and financial aid. It's getting pretty rare around here for parents to provide much for kids past 18. But, that's just because of the financial pit Michigan is in, and in particular, our tri-county area. Actually, when I was in college, many, many moons ago LOL, the average parent provided a lot more support for their older teen, young adults than now. At least that was what was happening at my college then even though in our case, our parents weren't able to do this for us. We were the odd ducks. Everyone else I knew were still their parents' dependents and functioned in that capacity until graduation and the commuters were all living at home for free and paying very, very little of their own way during that time. I am sure this is probably a regional thing however. Faith Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joker Posted October 30, 2013 Share Posted October 30, 2013 I moved into my own apartment just before I turned nineteen. I didn't go to college but had a great job. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tess in the Burbs Posted October 30, 2013 Share Posted October 30, 2013 I guess it depends by "leave home". I went to college in another town. I was 18 and lived on campus, so I had to go home at holidays. Paid for it with my own money so I didn't have to stay at home to go to college. I supported myself mostly over those years. Then, I took time off from college and drove cross country to about as far as I could get without going to Canada lol. Lived on my own a bit there before coming back east to go back to college. I do remember getting a few hundred $$ here and there from my parents throughout college. I paid for most of it myself though. And lived on my own during college. After college I didn't go back home either. So I guess that original move out of the house to the dorm was leaving home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatHomeschoolDad Posted October 30, 2013 Share Posted October 30, 2013 Well, there's "leave home" to go to college at 17, and then there's "leave home" after college at 21. I left for good the September after I graduated to move in with my girlfriend-now-wife. That went over swimmingly with the MIL. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted October 30, 2013 Share Posted October 30, 2013 I lived in a dorm for the first two years of law school. The first summer break I stayed in my parents' house. The second summer I got an apartment with a roommate and there began a new era. LOL. I was 22. Of course there were many times I contemplated leaving home in a huff, but somehow I always talked myself out of it. ;) I worked and helped my parents beginning at 16, when I went to college. In college the rule was that you live with your parents or in a dorm, and I didn't like what I'd heard about undergraduate dorm life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted October 30, 2013 Share Posted October 30, 2013 Married at 19. We had enough income to support ourselves, albeit in a very modest fashion. For example, going out to meant meant the McDonald's dollar menu. If we had extra money, we could splurge on expensive Wendy's. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted October 30, 2013 Share Posted October 30, 2013 I think for some it's more gradual leaving. My gradual leaving started at age 11 when I was sent to boarding school. I did not live full-time at home after that. Yes, they supported me but I also got my first job at 11 and paid for my own laundry and some other sundries. I left for college at age 17. I was not supported by my parents. I worked 3 parttime jobs and earned scholarships to pay for it all. I was 3000 miles away from my parents. I consider that actually moved out, though I have visited them on occasion over the years. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom-ninja. Posted October 30, 2013 Share Posted October 30, 2013 Grabbed by my hair, thrown face first at some stairs, told to pack my bags and get the hell out. Eighteen. :grouphug: I moved to Germany right after high school. Had a fun "play" year and then started college while working. My parents didn't pay for my college or my "play" year. I couldn't wait to move out. I was foaming at the mouth to leave. My mom and I had issues. I tried to leave at 17 but she wouldn't let me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kareni Posted October 30, 2013 Share Posted October 30, 2013 I went to college (and I'm fortunate that my parents paid for that experience) and then on to graduate school. There I met my husband. We married shortly after I finished graduate school. Regards, Kareni Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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