Talking about delaying gratification with young children

[MamaBearTeacher]

Do you talk about this with your children? At what age do you start talking about it? How do you do it? I started talking to my 7-year old son about short- and long-term consequences and he got very excited and wants to talk about it some more. Does anyone know of any resources I could use?

[Chris in VA]

I'm sure there are kid books on patience; they may have more of a spiritual bent, which may or may not be ok with you.

 

We didn't talk about it as much with our boys--I was not as able at the time in my mothering, and often placated them instead of putting up with their discomfort at not getting what they wanted. It became a habit, and it was not good. 

 

I know there's a study with children out there that deals with delayed gratification--something like "You can have this marshmallow right now, or, if you wait two minutes, I'll give you two marshmallows." Let me see if I can find it...they tracked the kids and found those who waited were more successful/happy/somethingorother than those who chose not to wait. 

 

ETA Ah, found it on youtube. Kids had to wait 20 minutes for the person to come back in--and they were only 4! Those who waited did better on SATs and were deemed more dependable, among other things. 

 

There's some debate about the test results. It's interesting, tho! Maybe your son would be interested in viewing some of the testing. 

[Amy in NH]

I guess at some point, maybe when they were 4 or 5, we did talk about actions and consequences, but I don't know that we ever differentiated between short and long term.  As far as not getting what you want, we started that when they were toddlers.  A crying fit or tantrum does not get you what you want, and neither does begging or badgering mom. 

 

 

[DawnM]

If you are Christian, I would look into the kids' materials from CrownFinancial.org.  They are very good.