New therapist, how long to decide it is not a good fit?

[Loowit]

My DS started seeing a therapist (mental health) a little over a year ago.  We had tried once before but it was a complete failure.  This time it just really clicked and is therapist was wonderful.  We were seeing a lot of improvement and she was coming up with some other ideas on how to proceed that she was very hopeful for positive results.  Then she had to move out of the area.  It was very sudden.  I found out the day before his last session with her.  I think it was a last minute job opportunity for her DH that was a good move for her family.  DS was very sad but she set up to have his care continued with another therapist that is fairly new to the area, so he has a lighter case load and can see DS weekly.  She told me that he was great with kids and thought he would be a good fit.

 

We have had three appointments so far and I am not impressed.  At the first appointment he had not done any study into DS and why he is in therapy.  He had no clue why we were there.  This is a huge problem for me because it meant I had to talk about DS's behaviors in front on him, which old therapist and I had determined was not a good thing.  There is a lot of bad stuff that DS really doesn't need to keep hearing over and over.  New therapist explained that he likes to get to know the person first and then look up background, which I suppose makes some sense, but not in this case.  It was a rough first meeting involving lots of grown up talk (DS just turned 8).  I was hoping that at the next appointment that the new therapist would have finally done some background reading on DS but it really doesn't seem like he has at all.  He does no play therapy, like old therapist did, and just talks and talks and uses examples that go way over DS's head.

 

I am trying to give new therapist a chance, but at the same time I am very frustrated and feel like we are starting completely over again and having to explain to this new guy all the stuff that he should already be aware of by reading through DS's file from the last year of therapy.  When I asked last appointment about bio-medical causes for DS's behaviors he brushed me off.  This was the next step we were going to be taking with old therapist.  I am just wondering how long I should try this before asking to see a different therapist.  And if I ask to see a different therapist, do I let new guy know or just ask at the front desk, or what?

 

Also, if anyone has any idea what would be looked at in a bio-medical cause for behavior and what sort of doctor we should see, please let me know.  I have no idea on how to pursue this and old therapist left so suddenly we really didn't get a chance to talk though her ideas.  We have already done allergy testing (he is allergic to peanuts and has environmental allergies).  We have fully eliminated all artificial colors from his diet.  We stopped a medication that he had been on for years and saw some improvement.  We have done dietary changes such as no diary, etc. with no results.  There is some talk of him possibly being on the spectrum though not really explored.  He has been diagnosed with ADHD and ODD but old therapist was not convinced that these were very accurate for him after seeing him for over a year.

[PinkyandtheBrains.]

You have been to three appointments, if you still don't feel comfortable with them I think it is fine to move on. 

[SailorMom]

I'd say you've had enough time.  You seem to have a pretty good feel for what was working before.

Anyway you could get in contact with his previous therapist and ask for a different recommendation?

[TechWife]

I think two or three times is enough. I'd go ahead and move on. You  might want to meet with a new therapist privately before bringing your son to get some idea of what they are like and go give appropriate background freely. 

[texasmama]

With an eight year old, you need a play therapist. Period. I'm sorry you landed with a poor fit this time. Just find an experienced play therapist. (I did play therapy for many years. :) )

[Whereneverever]

I think moving on is fine. Have you looked into neuropsych testing?

[Loowit]

Thanks, everyone.  I just wanted to make sure I was giving him a fair shot.  DS and I loved his last therapist so I knew the change would be harder, so I want to make sure I am not just over reacting.  I think DS really needs someone who will do play therapy.  This guy seems really nice and I think he would be good with teens, but is just not a good fit for DS.

[Tap]

BTDT.  

 

We had a therapist we loved.  We stopped going for a while and when we needed to go back, she wasn't taking new patients and was slowly decreasing hours as the clients she did have faded.  We found a new therapist, and we were Way over her head.  She was too inexperienced for dds issues.  It took about 3 sessions to realize that she wasn't going to cut it. I called the office and told them that while the therapist they teamed us with seemed amazing we really needed  one with xyz skills instead.  They teamed us up with a new therapist to the clinic but one with more experience in our specific areas.  She was a GOD send!  

 

Time to move on.  Therapy is too expensive, time consuming and invasive to be a bad fit.  A poorly attuned therapist can honestly do more bad than good.