Emotional Freedom Technique questions

[nevergiveup]

I have seen reference to this in another thread and curiosity had me checking into it.  You ladies with some experience---could you answer a couple of questions for me?

 

*Do you have to know the root emotion that is the cause of the problem?  For example, if you had trouble learning new information, would you have to know that it came from a specific negative incident in your past?  Like, a teacher calling you 'stupid' or something of that nature?  What if you don't know the root cause?

 

*Do the issues keep popping up once you have addressed them through tapping?

 

*Did you do it yourself or go to a professional?

 

*Could you expound a bit on how it has helped you?

 

Thanks so much for any personal insight you feel comfortable sharing!

[AmyontheFarm]

:lurk5:

[nevergiveup]

Wow--i guess this is too "out there" for most of the hivers... :ohmy:

[Catwoman]

I haven't the slightest clue, but I'll give your thread a bump in the hope that someone else will have some info for you. :)

[albeto.]

Wow--i guess this is too "out there" for most of the hivers... :ohmy:

 

I'm still trying to figure out what kind of tapping gives one emotional freedom.

 

Tap dancing?

Tapping out favorite stories on Morse code?

Recording telephone calls of presidents' mistresses?

[Catwoman]

I'm still trying to figure out what kind of tapping gives one emotional freedom.

 

Tap dancing?

Tapping out favorite stories on Morse code?

Recording telephone calls of presidents' mistresses?

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

That's probably not what she means... :D

[MunRoLy]

I am by no means an expert and I hope others chime in, but I do have some experience with EFT.  I heard about it here as well as I was searching threads about anxiety earlier this summer.  I went through some horrible anxiety (hadn't ever dealt with it before) and am now so thankful that I found tapping. 

 

I watched one quick video online then read The Tapping Solution.  The author does talk a lot about getting to the root of the problem for best results, but I don't think it's necessary.  If you don't know the root you can't tap on it, but you can tap on your feelings and emotions.

 

I've really only tapped on my anxiety and although I am now out of the worst of it, occasionally some anxious feelings will pop up.  Tapping is now like my Xanax... It really does help!  It also helps for me to go back and read through sections of the book.  I find myself nodding my head over and over.

 

I have also used tapping with ds8 who has been having anxiety issues of his own and it's been like a miracle for him!

 

Hope that helps.  Have to get back to school...

[Anne in CA]

I have always wondered if this was how Tap Tap Tap got her name, lol.

[Isabella]

I'm on my phone and I hate using it so I'll post a little more when I'm home in a few days, but short answer is no, you don't need to know the root cause. Basically you are working on emotions, and you can start tapping without even being aware of the emotion. It seems to make itself evident as you go along. For instance,you may think you were sad or disappointed about something but the real hidden and therefore more problematic emotion may be anger.

Will post some more on Friday.

[Negin]

:lurk5:

[xixstar]

I watched some you tube videos and gave it a try. Honestly, I thought it sounded a bit crazy but I am always willing to try new things (and most turn out to work, that has been an interesting discovery). It worked well for me and I understand why after doing it for a while. It really isn't so much about what points you tap and such but the exerted effort to conciously change your reactions and thinking.

 

I used it when my kids were smaller and I struggled so much with dealing with parenting and general stress due to that season of life. I tried it with a few bigger concepts with positive results as well. I worked in just focusing on the positive I was working towards and not getting stuck in the negatives.

[fraidycat]

Sorry, I didn't see this before.

 

I am one who has recommended EFT several times on here, so I'll try to help.

 

I do not go to a professional. I use The Tapping Solution book and Emofree.com. IMO, The Tapping Solution is more accessible to the absolute beginner, but the "tell the story technique" at Emofree (free tutorial) is the diamond encrusted platinum tiara of tapping efficacy. I LOVE it. This (story technique) would be the "root cause" type things. BUT, no, it is not necessary to know them. However, tapping may cause you remember, and if you don't you can actually make up a story. (It's in the tutorial)

 

I highly, highly recommend the FREE tutorial at Emofree.com. The whole thing. It says on there you can stop at certain points, but it's FREE, and the more you know, the easier it is, IMO.

 

No, I am not a paid advertiser. ;) I AM someone who has benefitted tremendously, personally though. And I tap on my kids almost every day. They are almost different people now. Especially my hormonally charged, Debbie-downer DD. I can actually stand to be in the same house as her now. I was seriously contemplating school for the sake of our relationship in the very recent past before I decided to USE the tapping I've known about for approximately 3-ish years now. :P

 

I could go on and on about specific instances and can, if you'd like, but I hate typing on my iPad, so let me know and I'll type up more on the computer later, if you want.

[fraidycat]

I have seen reference to this in another thread and curiosity had me checking into it. You ladies with some experience---could you answer a couple of questions for me?

 

*Do you have to know the root emotion that is the cause of the problem? For example, if you had trouble learning new information, would you have to know that it came from a specific negative incident in your past? Like, a teacher calling you 'stupid' or something of that nature? What if you don't know the root cause?

 

*Do the issues keep popping up once you have addressed them through tapping?

 

*Did you do it yourself or go to a professional?

 

*Could you expound a bit on how it has helped you?

 

Thanks so much for any personal insight you feel comfortable sharing!

I forgot to answer one of your questions.

 

Re: issues still coming up. They can. If they do, it is because you haven't "cleared" the whole thing. Sometimes there are several emotions tied up in one big ball of yucky feeling. Like anger, because you were scared, because you were embarrassed, because you were whatever. if that makes sense. In general though, Once you've cleared old negative emotions they're cleared. You will still remember the incident, but you won't feel it anymore, if that makes sense. There will be no more physical symptom of emotion - anxiety, nervousness, clenching gut, tightness here or there, etc.

 

So yes and no. :) If it happens, it's because there's more work to do.

[nevergiveup]

Thanks ladies.  It does sound a bit "out there," doesn't it?

 

Fraidycat--are you tapping on your kids or do they tap on themselves?

Do you have to be a "believer" for it to work--if you are tapping on a skeptic, will it help?

I have been perusing the emofree website--did you buy the advanced videos?

Do you feel comfortable sharing any specific changes you saw in your children/yourself?

 

I am very curious about this because one of my son's therapists likes to use a cold laser on acupressure points and this seems to be similar type therapy.  Have you heard of anyone using it for learning disabilities--specifically the inability to recall information.  My son has a lot of stuff in his head that he has trouble getting out in a reliable manner...

 

Thanks for any additional info you can provide!

[Susan in TN]

I'm still trying to figure out what kind of tapping gives one emotional freedom.

 

Tap dancing?

Tapping out favorite stories on Morse code?

Recording telephone calls of presidents' mistresses?

I've always assumed that it's a type of self-hypnosis. But I'm assuming here on very little actual information...;)

[Big Buckin' Longhorn]

Is the tutorial the reading or is there a video tutorial? I think I may need a demonstration, LOL.

[Guest submarines]

 I haven't looked into it deeply at all, haven't read any books. We find that just tapping the points for a couple of minutes is very helpful to get "unsctuck." from a negative emotion. We call it "moving the stale energy." 

[fraidycat]

Is the tutorial the reading or is there a video tutorial? I think I may need a demonstration, LOL.

I'll answer this one first, then I'll move to the computer for longer answer(s).

 

There are videos at both thetappingsolution.com and at emofree.com for the basic tapping points. To get to "the meat" (what to say or think while tapping) is (mostly) reading and self-analyzing. It's very easy to learn, much harder to get in the HABIT of using it. :)

[fraidycat]

Thanks ladies.  It does sound a bit "out there," doesn't it?

 

Fraidycat--are you tapping on your kids or do they tap on themselves?

Do you have to be a "believer" for it to work--if you are tapping on a skeptic, will it help?

I have been perusing the emofree website--did you buy the advanced videos?

Do you feel comfortable sharing any specific changes you saw in your children/yourself?

 

I am very curious about this because one of my son's therapists likes to use a cold laser on acupressure points and this seems to be similar type therapy.  Have you heard of anyone using it for learning disabilities--specifically the inability to recall information.  My son has a lot of stuff in his head that he has trouble getting out in a reliable manner...

 

Thanks for any additional info you can provide!

 

I've accepted the fact that I'm just "out there" weird.  My sister labels me a Hippy - although we did just eat at the Golden Arches for supper, so... the transformation isn't complete yet - I'm not completely granola-fied.  :P

 

Ok, now to the questions:

 

Kids - for the most part, I tap on them.  Sometimes it is even "forced".  Not in a hold them down and tap on them kind of way, but a "Let me tap, or else...." kind of way.  Especially when they are in horrific moods.  Yeah, they might be mad at me that I'm touching them when they'd rather just pout/sulk/growl, etc. BUT I am tapping on them, so it just so happens that I'm hitting on that anger (and releasing it) at the same time.  I literally takes about a minute or less.

 

Sometimes, I tap along with DD.  As in, I lead her in what to say and where to tap, but I do it on myself and she follows along on herself.

 

So, in that respect, they are different kids because my kids are Master Pouters.  Seriously, they earned their Black Belt in carrying on a pout or grudge for HOURS at a time.  Now?  Minutes.  Especially when they are messing around and one gets hurt.  They could hold that grudge for daaaaaaaaaays with constant reminders to the offender of their wrongdoing.  Now, as soon as someone gets hurt, I don't hug first, I tap first (or half hug/half tap - one arm doing each)!!  Instantly.  Someone is crying, whining, I'm tapping on their points.  In about a minute, they are fine, never mention the incident again, and sometimes even say "It wasn't your fault, it was just an accident." (?!?!?!?!?!  My child(ren), extending grace to their sibling - UNHEARD OF!!)  Other people, yes - sibling - Never.  Ever.

 

Then, I work with the other one (offender).  We work on their guilt or feeling bad about the accidental flip, kick, whatever happened that tends to happen when playing/play fighting goes wrong and somebody gets hurt.

 

Also, to start my DD could not/refused to "love and accept" herself.  She even refused being a "cool kid".  The best we could get was "I'm going to be OK."  And now... she "completely and deeply loves and accepts" herself, even if I try to shortcut it to just "love and accept".

 

THAT is huge.  And very relieving to this Mom's heart.

 

No, you don't have to be a believer (my kids weren't).  BUT, it will not take long for a skeptic to become a believer.  Most evenings, tapping has become a part of our bed time routine.  I just ask them at tuck-in/back scratch time if they have any tapping from the day - anything they felt/feel bad about.  Sometimes they don't, but surprisingly (or not) if they do have something, they want to tap on it.  They'll even remind me if I forget to ask.  Very helpful for when DH was out of town (for 7 weeks - got home yesterday) - we tapped on missing Dad, feeling lonely, etc.  This really helped to curb the "How much longer until Dad gets home?" whining that I would normally hear on a daily basis.  DH is military, so gone (too) often enough for me to compare.  :)

 

Wow.  I'm long winded.  Ok, next.

 

Me:  This could be a whole book, so I'll sum up one area that it has helped me.  Just within the past couple months I've cleared a LOT of resentment that I apparently was still carrying around from when DH and I went through a tough patch a few years ago.  It was around this time that I developed a knot/constant tightness/pain in my neck that massages, chiropractor, physical therapy/stretching could not "cure".  We could fix it for awhile, but it always came back within a couple days to a week.  About 4 (ish) weeks ago, I tapped on all that old marriage stuff.  The gigantic knot in my neck cleared along with it and hasn't been back.

 

Ok last thing.

 

I have not personally used or seen it used on learning disabilities or inability to retrieve information.  I do, however, believe that it is absolutely worth a try.

 

Disclaimer***  I will again reiterate that I am a total amateur, so take my opinion with a grain of salt, or feel free to completely ignore.

 

I would start by tapping on any frustration/anxiety/panic/nervousness/embarrassed (any or ALL of the above feelings could be tapped on) when he does try to retrieve information and can't seem to find it, doesn't remember it.

 

Eg:  Karate chop: Even though I get so frustrated with myself when I try to remember X, I accept myself/my brain/whatever words you/he want to use.

Points: All this frustration.  Why can't I remember?  I get so mad. It's so embarrassing, etc.

 

So yeah, I'd start there.  Have a conversation about how do you feel when you try to remember __________?  Ask leading questions.  Does it make you feel ______________? (frustrated, anxious, embarrassed, like you can't breathe, like a lump in your belly, tightness in your back/neck/forehead)

 

Then do a couple rounds on each and every feeling, separately.

 

Then use your Momma's intuition to guide you along as you try different things.

[fraidycat]

Ok, after I wrote the first two chapters of a novel, I still managed to miss answering a question!  Ack.

 

Yes, I did buy the advanced videos.  But, not a first.  I read through the whole tutorial TWICE.  Did some tapping on myself, my kids, etc.  Then decided to get the videos because I do seem to be giving a lot of "helpful" (hopefully) advice to my family and friends about tapping, so I figured they might be nice to have so I can advise better.  I don't tap with them (as a practitioner, because I'm not), but try to give as specific instructions as I can if they ask about tapping or how to use it for X, Y, or Z.  So, I am about halfway through the tutorial for a third time, with the added videos.

 

And I am still working on the Personal Peace Procedure, but in fits and starts when I have time or feel like I need it.  Once in awhile I'll do the borrowing benefits videos, but mostly in the laziest way possible. :)

[Isabella]

Regarding the 'out there' aspect of EFT...it's not really when you understand a little of how it works.  While I don't pretend to completely understand it, I've had it explained to me by my very practical, normal, Christian, male, 65-ish year old therapist, and it made a great deal of sense. 

 

I'll try to explain it the way I've learned to think of it.....a warning, though - I can get very longwinded!!

 

To start at the cause of emotional disturbance...

 

Basically, when a trauma (which can be something as simple as being told you can't have an icecream when you were a kid) happens, you have an emotional feeling about it (in the case of the icecream - anger, sadness, grief..whatever).  Because you feel (or are told) that your emotional feelings are not appropriate to express, you box them up, and put them away in the dark recesses of your mind (or body - this is where the tight muscles can manifest).  When another such incident, or even something that reminds you of the old incident, you again feel that you should not express the emotion, so you put another wrapping around the box that contains the emotion and put it away again.  This also reinforces to the body/mind that it's right to keep that emotion hidden because it would cause hurt to bring it out.  Safer to keep it hidden.  You will get hurt if you bring it out.  You don't want to get hurt, do you?  Of course many traumas (mild or worse) happen in the course of someone's lifetime, and there will be different emotional responses surrounding them.  If the person doesn't accept the emotion and express it at the time, it will become one of those hidden packages.  Some people become conditioned (whether because of external pressure or internal) over time to hardly express many emotions at all, or only the ones they feel are acceptable.  Of course all this is below our conscious ability to make these decisions.  It happens on a subconscious level. 

 

So then the tension in your body (unknown to you, usually) because of these hidden packages of denied emotions unbalances the body and/or mind.  This imbalance can manifest itself in many different ways, anxiety or depression in one person, stiff neck in another, whole body aches in another, terrible headaches, even illness like cancer. 

 

Also sometimes because the emotions are so deeply hidden and wrapped in many layers of protective wrapping, you may even feel you don't have that emotion.  When I first went to EFT, my therapist asked if I had much anger.  I (quite proudly) said, no, I don't.  Many people comment that I am so placid.  I rarely feel angry at my kids, or my husband.  I might feel hurt, or even annoyed, but anger - no.  Then I remembered and said, The only time I'm angry is in my dreams!  I wake myself and my husband yelling and even punching, and have extreme anger.  Even as I said it, and the therapist confirmed it that I most likely have a HUGE amount of anger hidden since a young child (due to ongoing abuse) and have hidden it so well I forgot I even had any anger, but the subconscious knows, and has to let the relief valve off every so often, and knows its safe to do so in dreams only.

 

Now to get to the EFT part of it.....our subconscious mind/emotions are not easily accessible to us.  It's like there's an 'almost' impenetrable layer between our conscious and subconscious minds. And that layer has certain filters from conditioned thinking.  This means that we can only reach so far with counselling, CBT, positive thinking and the many other means that we can use to try to relieve emotional repression/oppression/depression on a conscious level.  We've probably all tried to talk ourselves into feeling good about ourselves or whatever, and consciously we might, but our subconscious already feels bad about ourselves and can't accept that thought you are thinking, so while your conscious mind believes it, the subconscious still thinks you're bad and no-good, and sabotages any attempt to allow that positive thought to change negative patterns. Mantras are probably a little different if you can get into a meditative state, and your subconscious mind hears and accepts the positive thoughts you are repeating.  

 

So the points we tap on during EFT are like a little chinks in that energetic armour - (this is my own way of thinking of this, based on how my therapist explained), places that by tapping on them, allow us to override or get through the conditioned thought processes and gain access to the hidden thoughts/emotions.  While tapping on these points you are saying/repeating the thoughts that you have (and these will often pop into your mind of their own accord while tapping, and you can often really feel a resonating agreement with them in a physical way.  You might start tapping on how sad you felt when your husband talked to you in a certain way, but as you tap, you realize you actually feel mad, then FURIOUS, etc.  When you say the right word your body kind of relaxes, as if feeling...YES, you finally get it!  It makes you feel FURIOUS, not mildly sad! FINALLY!! Now I can relax and not get to work stashing the feeling away somewhere!

 

Sometimes it takes a lot of tapping on certain issues to remove them layer by layer.  You'll know when you've removed it finally because the memory of the incident will be there, but the emotion surrounding it will be gone.  You'll remember in a matter of fact way, but not feel the least bit stirred up by it.

 

 

From learning the importance of expressing our emotions rather than repressing them, I'm MUCH better at doing that.  My husband and kids were at first a little shocked as I used to be such a mild person!  If my husband bothers me, I fire right up, get mad, and get over it.  If I'm hurt, I cry and say how hurt I am, and then we're all good again!  I'm so much stronger because of it, and getting healthier in my mind and body.

 

Hope this hasn't been too convoluted to understand, or contradicts other more learned opinions on how EFT works, but it's my understanding of it, anyway. :)

[fraidycat]

I just wanted to sum up for those who may be reading this and not checking out the other sites so it seems to be written in a foreign language.

 

The tapping points are based on certain endpoints of the Chinese/Chi/Energy Meridians that run through our bodies.  Tapping is basically acupressure on those points.  Essentially, acupressure you can learn and do at home on yourself for whatever physical pain and/or emotional negativity you may be experiencing.  :)

[brookspr]

After reading this, I put both books on hold at our library and can't wait to start trying this method!  I've done some behavior therapy for my anxiety, but the therapist basically told me to stay busy so I won't think about it.  I can see anxiety issues building in my son as well (he is 11) and I'd love to be able to give him a technique he can use to release his frustrations.  However small they might seem, I can see them building on one another and I want to prevent the issue from manifesting itself into something more serious as he gets older.  THANK YOU EVERYONE, for the information on tapping!

[fraidycat]

After reading this, I put both books on hold at our library and can't wait to start trying this method! I've done some behavior therapy for my anxiety, but the therapist basically told me to stay busy so I won't think about it. I can see anxiety issues building in my son as well (he is 11) and I'd love to be able to give him a technique he can use to release his frustrations. However small they might seem, I can see them building on one another and I want to prevent the issue from manifesting itself into something more serious as he gets older. THANK YOU EVERYONE, for the information on tapping!

Awesome! I hope it is as life-changing for you and your family as it is for ours. While you're waiting for the book, I recommend the free emofree tutorial on the website. It is out together by the founder of EFT (Gary Craig) and is the most "up to date" advice on the how and why of EFT after his many years of working with 1000's of people and refining the method to get the best results.

[nevergiveup]

Thanks so much for the additional information!  I've tried a few things that others might think are whackadoodle, too.  Guess my name says it all.

 

Nevergiveup :001_smile:

[xixstar]

Awesome! I hope it is as life-changing for you and your family as it is for ours. While you're waiting for the book, I recommend the free emofree tutorial on the website. It is out together by the founder of EFT (Gary Craig) and is the most "up to date" advice on the how and why of EFT after his many years of working with 1000's of people and refining the method to get the best results.

 

I am taking your encouragement to work on tapping with my kids, or one in particular. Especially since we've started chiropractic care that I think will help a ton but her anxiety is so high that it takes forever for us to actually get the adjustment made -- hoping tapping will make that go faster.