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Can you ever really know someone?


Melissa in Australia
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Can you ever really know somebody ?  I thought I knew someone very, very close to me very well, but now I am thinking that I don't have any idea about the person at all. maybe I only know aspects of them and they are really someone completely different deep down inside.

 

 I am just so confused

 

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Sometimes people have reasons for keeping things to themselves, it's not necessarily a desire to decieve. This probably happens a lot more with introverts.

 

I "liked" your post, but I felt the need to quote it, too, because I agree with it SO much.  Those were almost my exact thoughts.

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... and then there is always the moment when each of us does something completely out of character....

 

.... and then there is the acting out of emotion in ways we ourselves might never have imagined...

 

 

but there are those other times, when someone inadvertently reveals they are from mars.....

 

fwiw,

ann

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... and then there is always the moment when each of us does something completely out of character....

 

.... and then there is the acting out of emotion in ways we ourselves might never have imagined...

 

 

but there are those other times, when someone inadvertently reveals they are from mars.....

 

fwiw,

ann

Thank you

 I am at the moment having revealed that I have been in very close contact with a person from Mars.

 

comes as a bit of a surprise.

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Thank you

 I am at the moment having revealed that I have been in very close contact with a person from Mars.

 

comes as a bit of a surprise.

 

I am having the same experience, with the added bonus that the Martian has behaved in ways that will blow her family apart. I'm sick about it.  Now I am also wondering who else I know and love is actually from Mars? I hate it.

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How much do you really need to know?

 

There is the public persona, the friends and family persona, the only your spouse and kids persona, only your spouse, only your kids, and the self you keep in your own head and heart. They can all have differences without any of them actually being fake. 

 

People are complicated. I like it that way. :) Even though I hate it when I have one of those "I thought you were from this planet, my world is shattered" events.

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Only if that person lets you really know them.  Other than some close family members, I think I have only really known one other person.  He is a guy I dated for 2 years about 6 years ago.  He is the only other person I think I have ever really truly known. 

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As an INTJ who is very interested in people, I often see things about people that those close to them have missed. My observation about that is that most people, (probably rightly) do not spend time checking to see if they should trust their friends, or if their friends are changing. Most people take those close to them as they are in the moment and only assess them in times of trouble. I, on the other hand, am always questioning the people in my life, seeing how much they can be trusted, do they need my help, prayer, ect. I do think that is my personality, and so I think most people miss things about the people closest to them.

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I'm going to say no.  There are very few people who haven't completely blown my mind by showing themselves to be the complete opposite of what I had believed.  Sometimes good, more often bad.  That's why I like cats.  I know they're the rulers of the universe and I am only a pawn in their goals of destruction.  I'm cool with that, provided I get my cuddle wuddles before bedtime.  I'm not really as crazy as I sound.  Or am I?

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  • 2 weeks later...

There are very few people who haven't completely blown my mind by showing themselves to be the complete opposite of what I had believed.  Sometimes good, more often bad.  That's why I like cats.  

Yes, and even though I'm not really a cat person, except for Grumpy Cat, of course, this is why these days, books and dogs are more my thing. 

 

 

 

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I'm going to say no. There are very few people who haven't completely blown my mind by showing themselves to be the complete opposite of what I had believed. Sometimes good, more often bad. That's why I like cats. I know they're the rulers of the universe and I am only a pawn in their goals of destruction. I'm cool with that, provided I get my cuddle wuddles before bedtime. I'm not really as crazy as I sound. Or am I?

I am still working on the cat thing. Lol. I do love my turtle though. He is quiet, doesnt make a mess and entertains me thoroughly. He will even watch tv in my lap!

 

As for the other stuff, I agree completely. I can NOT believe how gullible I was when I was younger. I am having a complete smack in the forehead kind of year. It is heartbreaking, but in the same respect....it is making me feel like a stronger, more independent person, now that I know I really have it more together than anyone else I know! How the hell did that happen????

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I have been striving in the past few years to be like Seekings dh. I want to live authentically. It has taken a bit of work to understand that I don't have to broadcast every sin to everyone to be authentic. What it does mean is that I will be transparent to those who have a right to know about things they have a right to know about.

 

To answer the question I do think there are trustworthy people.....I have several in my life. I have been surprised, shocked, saddened by others....but at my age my circle of trusted people is pretty set and there are certain things I absolutely do not believe they would ever do.

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No, I really don't think you can ever truly know someone.  I feel like I'm an open book, though I don't over share, I am very honest. I have found out that many people that have known me for years, even my whole life, are surprised at things I say and do all the time.  Not necessarily in a negative way, but I guess they feel I've revealed an additional part of me.

 

I had a recent run in with a martian and we're no longer friends. I get it :grouphug: .

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I am having the same experience, with the added bonus that the Martian has behaved in ways that will blow her family apart. I'm sick about it.  Now I am also wondering who else I know and love is actually from Mars? I hate it.

 

Wow, all of the martians must have revealed themselves at the same time. We are dealing with the exact same thing right now! Someone we have called friend for over 13 yrs is about to flush their family down the toilet. Well, actually he already has but the family just doesn't know it yet :crying: . And, sadly, there is nothing we can do because our hands are tied by an investigation that is underway, and the family will have to find out the hard way. :crying:

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