I need help

[Giraffe]

I am at my wits end with DD. We have tried and tried to teach her to read. OPGTR didn't work. Spalding blew my mind in a very bad way. I'm now trying Reading Reflex. But it's not the curriculum, it's DD.

 

She can't, or won't, blend. I started with three sounds: c a t. She couldn't sound it out. Same with r e d, d o g. I went to two sounds: m e was "top", s u was met with "merhaba" (I told her it was a Turkish word). She still can't tell me what i t is. She finally, after much frustration, allowed as how she could actually hear the sounds i t, but is still, over 30 minutes later, guessing wildly about the word (mop, pan, hello, etc).

 

Her hearing has been checked. She's fine. The psychiatrist says she's fine. But we have been at this for over a year and a half and she still doesn't seem to either hear the sound or want to try. She's desperate to read, but only if she can guess the words, which I'm now on to and not letting happen.

 

She's 6, started first grade today, and I'm terrified she'll fail (homeschooling is illegal here).

 

Arrrrrrrrrgh!!!

[scrapbookbuzz]

I'm sorry you're so frustrated. Is your dd as well? Are you sure SHE is desperate to read or is it more likely those around her are desperate FOR her to read? 

She may just not be ready. It happens. However, if you're still willing to keep trying right now, you may consider

How to Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons. I'm with you on Spalding - I found it way to wordy and comples.

100 EZ Lessons is a lot like Saxon math in that it lays it all out very clearly, step by step, what you as the teacher are to do and

what the child is to do.

 

The other thing I highly recommend is reading aloud to her every night from books that are not pre-readers, etc. Read some of the Classics abridged for children.

That really does help. 

 

One other thing, have you had her vision checked?  Also, you may try having her read through a colored filter. But my gut reaction is that she is just not ready. She is

only 6. Not everyone is ready to read at that age, despite what "society" thinks.

[8filltheheart]

Can she rhyme? Can she hear initial and final sounds? For example, with the word dog, can she hear both the d at the beginning and the g at the end? If she can't, you need to stop working on blending and play auditory games---- things like I Spy with my little eye something that starts (or ends with) t and silly rhyming games.

 

If she can do those things, I would recommend singing the Ferris wheel song from SSRW. The kids sing the short vowels, a,e,I,o,u and then gradually add initial consonants. So they learn to sing BA,be,bi,Bo, bu.......after they can sing those initial 2 sounds together, then add a final sound. So BA....g. Be....g. Etc

 

(Please excuse bizarre autocorrects)

[shinyhappypeople]

Agreeing with the PP that she's only 6.  Not every child's brain is ready for blending at 6.  

 

Why not just teach her enough sight words (whole language method) to get her reading easy readers and then follow-up with traditional phonics when she's a bit more ready?

 

Good luck :)

[Chris in VA]

This is a simple thing, but it really helped dd--

 

Start with a sustained first sound, like s or m, not a sound like t or b. Teach her to just sustain the sound til she runs out of breath.

Demonstrate what you mean, of course.

 

Add a short vowel. Show her M A, for example and have her say each sound individually (which she can do, right?) 

Now, show her how to sustain the first sound, and then go right into the second sound. Demonstrate what you mean.

 

If she's super hands -on or needs a concrete example...

 

You can show her a graphic--M at the top of a slide, make it "slide down" (sustain it) until it bumps A and then slides the rest of the way. 

Really, draw a slide, then use a moveable letter to go down the slide. Then add the A halfway down the slide. Make M go down again, MMMMMM then bump A. 

THEN you can put a T on the bottom. MMMMMAAAAAT. 

Then practice with MMMMAAAAN.

Then...so on. 

 

[Giraffe]

She can rhyme. It's not visual, tonight's endeavors were completely oral, which frustrated her. She cannot always identify beginning and nodding sounds.

 

She wants to read. She begs for books with pictures and simple text that she can guess at (BOB Books have been a disaster). She pretends to read to her stuffed animals.

 

I'll keep on plugging. Just want to pull my hair out. She thinks this is funny.

[Giraffe]

I like the slide. Will try that tomorrow. Right now it's bed time.

 

I have to chill out. I read at 4. She wanted to learn right about the same age and it's been pulling teeth ever since. We try, she balks, stalls, responds to any question with wild guesses that aren't even close, says she has no idea, then I back off a few months and try again. Same story. Now her school is going to expect her to read by New Years. At least that will be Turkish, a true phonetic language (1 sound to 1 letter). They just wanted her reading English first if at all possible.

 

Deep breaths.....

[8filltheheart]

She can rhyme....... She cannot always identify beginning and nodding sounds.

 

She wants to read. She begs for books.

My recommendation would be to not just keep plugging forward. The bolded is a clear indication that she does not possess the pre-markers for reading. Reading is as much about mental development as anything else. By working on pre-reading skills, she will ultimately make more progress then if you keep attempting blending w/o focusing on helping her attain the pre-skills.

 

I would recommend creating her her own readers. Write them in highlighter, let her trace over the words and illustrate them. Use words with the beginning and final sounds you are working on.

[Ellie]

Yes, you need to chill out. To be this frustrated with a child who is only six years old is just not right. And there seem to be way too many people involved with the whole process.

[Giraffe]

Yes, you need to chill out. To be this frustrated with a child who is only six years old is just not right. And there seem to be way too many people involved with the whole process.

You're right, as usual. I have always appreciated your advice especially. I don't think of her as ONLY six, but as ALREADY six and OMG!

 

Stepping back, drinking an Efes (beer), and taking several deep breaths.

 

:grouphug: because I need one (she already got a giant one and is back to her Barbies).

[8filltheheart]

I like the slide. Will try that tomorrow. Right now it's bed time.

 

I have to chill out. I read at 4. She wanted to learn right about the same age and it's been pulling teeth ever since. We try, she balks, stalls, responds to any question with wild guesses that aren't even close, says she has no idea, then I back off a few months and try again. Same story. Now her school is going to expect her to read by New Years. At least that will be Turkish, a true phonetic language (1 sound to 1 letter). They just wanted her reading English first if at all possible.

 

Deep breaths.....

Your age doesn't matter. Her desire is actually irrelevant if she doesn't possess the mental markers for reading if you want phonetic reading. Sight reading is a lower skill and can be mastered w/o the pre-markers. Playing sound bingo, cards (like fish--either initial or final sound), etc will get her reading faster and w/o the frustration.

 

blending should be held off until she can hear the sounds. Her brain needs those connections in order to read.

[Tonia]

If she can't hear the sounds then that's where you need to back up and work from. And you're right, it's not the curriculum, so just set that aside for now. (Andfor what it's worth, I wouldn't go out and buy a new one. OPG is a perfectly good program and will get you where you need to be, but, for now, put it away.)

 

Does she know all the individual letter sounds? If she still struggles, practice those until she knows them all. (here are some game ideas)

 

Then move on to blending sounds together. You do this for her - start with a simple one where the sounds are continuous, like Chris in VA mentioned. You say the word really slowly one letter at a time and see if she can guess it. If she can't hear it, try saying it a little bit faster. Make it a game. Have her do it and you guess the word. Don't have the word written in front of you or her - just do this orally. After she's getting it move on to simple words on paper or a white board and repeat.

 

Do the same thing with pennies or tokens - one token for each sound. Start with another simple word like MAT, and put three tokens in front of her. Have her say one sound at a time while moving one token away from herself for each sound.

 

Try a word game - you write for her. Ask her for the first sound in a word like CAT and write it down. Ask her what the second sound is... etc.

 

First and last - take a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle. Write 'first' at the top of one side and 'last'on the top of the other. Tell her she needs to put a check in each column when she hears a sound. Say you want to work on the 'k' sound. say a word like 'cat' - she puts a check under the first column because it's the first sound she hears. Repeat for another word -  'like' - where does she hear the sound, at the end, so put a check under the 'last' column.

 

Make it fun, let it be a game. She'll get it when she's ready.

[Lori D.]

First  :grouphug:  and empathy! I can hear a little bit of fear and panic in your post, and just want to give you a hug for empathy, and to help you take a breath and realize you have all year to slowly move into reading. I just want to reassure you that lots and lots of children worldwide don't even start 1st grade until age 6 or 7, and that's when they START the process of pre-reading skills and then learning to read. So your child is not behind! She is right on schedule. :)

 

 

Second, quick side note for clarification:

A child can have a vision test and have great vision -- but struggle to read because of vision tracking or other vision issues, which do not show up in regular eye exams. This short article lays out the different skills a child needs to be able to read, and what the different possible vision problems are. What does your DD say words on the page look like to her?

 

 

Finally:

I totally agree with the great advice and specific tips 8FilltheHeart shared, and the great slide-sounding-out idea from Chris in VA. I'll just add one thing I didn't see mentioned previously: Does DD have a solid connection between letters and their sounds? That seemed to be missing to me as you described all the guessing by DD on 2- and 3-letter words.

 

One last thought -- could she be possibly mixing together English and Turkish letters and sounds?

 

Ideas for practicing pre-reading skills informally -- and I've heard REALLY good things from people about doing pre-reading activities, and how helpful these resources are: the Leap Frog DVDs, Star Fall, Reader Rabbit, and the Explode the Code series.

 

games:

- File Folder Games in Color: Phonics -- pre-readers

- Phonics File Folder Games -- pre-readers

- Happy Phonics -- cut-out-yourself games and activities for early readers

- list of games for purchase -- pre- and early-readers

 

some time with the LeapFrog DVDs:

- Letter Factory

- Phonics Farm

- Talking Words

 

time with computer resources:

- Starfall

- Owl and Mouse

- Fun Fonix

- Soft Schools

- Reader Rabbit

- Headsprout (now Mimio Sprout Early Reading)

 

Maybe some early phonics workbooks:

- Explode the Code's pre-reader series: Get Ready for the Code, Get Set for the Code, and Go for the Code

 

 

And yikes -- I think this is going to end up as a VERY stressful situation for everyone, if the Turkish school expects certain milestones to be reached by New Year's (and what happens when some Turkish school children who aren't ready don't reach those milestones??!) to be able to do this for both English AND Turkish! Plus, I know you feel the pressure from the in-laws about homeschooling in general! No answers or help on that one -- just more empathy and  :grouphug: .

 

BEST wishes for finding what helps, and esp. for a calmer, unstressed, joyful week and an overall gentle moving into success this year! Warmest regards, Lori D.

[Giraffe]

Lori D (and everyone else):  THANK YOU.  I am rushed and doing 14 different things at once but I've read your posts and they have helped enormously.  I'm just going to take it slow, play some of the games with DD, and let her get developmentally ready, not just "I want to read now" ready.  

 

Yes, there is fear and panic in my post.  The school system here is very stringent and doesn't really know what to do with kids who fall outside the norms.  I have her in a private school that says they can work with kids where they are at, but my experience here tells me that will be limited.  Hence my desire (panic) to get her ready.  They DO fail kids in 1st grade (and every grade) here, and I'm worried about that.  DD is smart as a tack, but developmentally behind her peers.  It worries me.

 

But thank you, all.  I am backing off.

 

:chillpill:  :chillpill:  :chillpill:

[PentecostalMom]

I like the slide. Will try that tomorrow. Right now it's bed time.

 

I have to chill out. I read at 4. She wanted to learn right about the same age and it's been pulling teeth ever since. We try, she balks, stalls, responds to any question with wild guesses that aren't even close, says she has no idea, then I back off a few months and try again. Same story. Now her school is going to expect her to read by New Years. At least that will be Turkish, a true phonetic language (1 sound to 1 letter). They just wanted her reading English first if at all possible.

 

Deep breaths.....

 

I have a friend who read at four, as did her dh.  When their dd wasn't reading fluently by six, they freaked out.  No need for freaking out.  The little dd is nearly seven now and is doing well, just wasn't ready!

 

I agree with Ellie, breathe.  It will be okay.  You cannot compare yourself to her and I know how hard that is, I was being pulled from K classes for "reading enrichment" and sent to 3rd grade classes.  My dd struggled as well.  Part of her problem was visual, but most was simply unreadiness.  I just kept plugging away, taking breaks, trying again, then waiting.  It finally did "click" and now she is reading on grade level.  Patience, mama-san.  It will come.  (((hugs)))

[Chris in VA]

Know what? One of mine didn't learn til 7. He went on to complete a Great Books education, and got his college degree.

One of mine read her first word at 3, went on to love reading.

One of mine did not have a good foundation, hates to read, and may have a little dyslexia (but it was never picked up). He learned to read at 5.

 

They are all different. They all used different methods to learn.

 

Hugs to you. She'll find her way. 

 

[garddwr]

OK, here are my somewhat disjointed thoughts, maybe something will prove helpful?

 

Is she trying to learn to read two languages at the same time, or is she just working on English?

Have you had her eyes checked? Sometimes optometrists will say it is normal or kids that age to be farsighted and not want to correct, but

 

I think reading glasses made a difference for me when I was young. Though it sounds like you might be doing this orally, so eyes would not be a factor. But if she is more visual that oral that could be hard...

 

Six really is not so old to still be developing sequencing and blending skills, but I understand your fear about the school being inflexible.

 

Have you tried Charlotte Mason's method of taking the words to familiar nursery rhymes or songs, putting each word on a separate piece of paper, and having the child put the words in order to make the rhyme, with help if needed? It's more of a whole language method, but some kids really do better that way.

 

A story from my family: my mom used whole language methods to teach my older two siblings to read, but they failed entirely with me. She switched to phonics, which eventually worked for me (though not until I was 8 years old), so with the younger kids she used phonics from the beginning. When she got to #7, she made no progress at all with phonics--he didn't seem to be able to blend the sounds. She switched back to a sight word approach and he learned just fine. Little brother is very math oriented, maybe more visual-spatial or something, I don't know. He is however a very fast and fluent reader, probably reads more books per year than any other member of my family of readers. I know this is purely anecdotal, but it might be worth trying.

[ElizabethB]

:grouphug:

 

The easiest sounds to blend are m, and n at beginning or end and r and l at beginning.

 

Start with 2 letter syllables.

 

Am an in on

 

Also, long vowels are actually easier to blend, try no, mo, me, re, lo, etc. if you do not mind nonsense syllables, I would start with the syllabary:

 

http://www.thephonicspage.org/On%20Reading/webstersyllabary.html

[Twigs]

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

[MerryAtHope]

Reading Reflex has some good oral games in the beginning chapters, I would work on those and other similar activities. I spent a lot of time on those kinds of games and activities with my kids. All About Reading Pre-reading has exercises like that worked right into their curriculum, if you are looking for something more laid out for you. Look at the Language Exploration parts of the sample tm.

 

Hang in there!  Merry :-)