How much social playtime do your kids get every week?

[dragons in the flower bed]

Someone on another hsing group I'm in asked about whether her only was getting enough time with other children, and listed a bunch of structured activities they do for socialization. I wonder, therefore, how much just plain playtime she gets, and I also wondered how much a kid should get.

 

So how much unstructured, child-directed, free play time with another child do your kids get per week, on average? You can include time spent playing with siblings, but only count the time they are freely playing together, not fighting or sharing chores or meals or doing a parent-directed activity.

 

Do you feel this is enough time? Does your child agree?

[Jean in Newcastle]

ds and dd have unstructured play together about 3 hours a day. They have unstructured play with other kids about 2 hours a week - maybe - some weeks that would be more, some weeks less!

[dragons in the flower bed]

So how much unstructured, child-directed, free play time with another child do your kids get per week, on average?

 

I'll go first. I guess my kids get about thirty-forty hours a week of time in which they're just playing with each other and friends. It would be more if I counted the time they spend fighting.

 

Do you feel this is enough time? Does your child agree?

 

Yeah, I think this is a good amount. I kind of like the old union standard: forty hours to sleep, forty hours to work, forty hours to play. My kids would prefer to work for ten hours a week, and spend the excess with non-sibling friends, but I don't think this reflects a need.

[Jen500]

My dc play freely about 4 hrs/day during the week. Oh wait, you said not counting fighting-make that 3 hrs/day.:) Weekends they have much more playtime. Sometimes they choose to just read.

[Elinor Everywhere]

Someone on another hsing group I'm in asked about whether her only was getting enough time with other children, and listed a bunch of structured activities they do for socialization. I wonder, therefore, how much just plain playtime she gets, and I also wondered how much a kid should get.

 

So how much unstructured, child-directed, free play time with another child do your kids get per week, on average? You can include time spent playing with siblings, but only count the time they are freely playing together, not fighting or sharing chores or meals or doing a parent-directed activity.

 

Do you feel this is enough time? Does your child agree?

I am a *huge* fan of free play time. Not 'play dates', not structured activities; I mean free to do whatever they want. My kids are both 10, and after school they hit the street for bike riding, skate board riding, tree climbing, swimming, etc. It's very important to me that the kids have plenty of time to get bored, make up games, engage their creative side, and just play, including time to stare at the sky and name cloud shapes.

 

Not that they aren't involved in extra-curricular activities; they both sail, dance, and take music lessons. But these things don't take up a ton of time, and there is still plenty of time to just be kids. A high priority around here!

[camibami]

We have a whole neighborhood of kids and a greenbelt, so they play almost exclusively with other kids. In fact, I am worried that when we move, they won't know how to play with just each other any more!

 

In summer, 60 hours a week or more- kids are here literally all day, and then, maybe overnight, too. If we go somewhere, usually other kids come along, and this summer anyway its just been the pool (free play) pr hiking in a park-free stuff! In winter, more like 35- about 3 hours after school most days, then we're off to activities. 4-10 hours a day on the weekends.

[Amy in Orlando]

We have a whole neighborhood of kids and a greenbelt, so they play almost exclusively with other kids. In fact, I am worried that when we move, they won't know how to play with just each other any more!

 

In summer, 60 hours a week or more- kids are here literally all day, and then, maybe overnight, too. If we go somewhere, usually other kids come along, and this summer anyway its just been the pool (free play) pr hiking in a park-free stuff! In winter, more like 35- about 3 hours after school most days, then we're off to activities. 4-10 hours a day on the weekends.

 

This is how we are. Well, mostly my 8 year-old. The older kids have odd jobs around the neighborhood and more structured weekly activities. I think having time to just play is SO important. I'm kind of sad because my youngest's best friends' parents seem to be gung-ho to jump on the structured activity, every day of the week, bandwagon that is so common here. I just spent an evening listening to them listing their plans once school starts up. You know, because they're in third grade now? :tongue_smilie: Why an 8-9 year old should have enough activities to need a day-planner is beyond me, but what do I know?

 

Let's just say I stopped passing the bean dip this evening, I just dunked my head right into the bowl and stayed there.:lol:

[Laura Corin]

Where we lived in China, the boys had about fifteen hours of free play with friends a week during term time, more in the summer, in addition to playing with each other.

 

Laura

[newlifemom]

Hours and hours as a matter of fact, my mom complimented me on having the courage in this day to just let them play. (She isnt against hsing but isnt really gung ho either). Of course free play does tend to lend to more disagreements. Oh well.

[Hannah]

So how much unstructured, child-directed, free play time with another child do your kids get per week, on average?

 

My youngest, totally extroverted, very social, child goes to playgroup 4 mornings a week. They have about an hour of 'scheduled' free play, a morning.

 

My girls play together about 2-3 hours per day.

 

We live rurally and there is one other family with children withing walking distance (6yo boy and 4yo girl). The neighbours play together about 3 hours a week.

 

As we are 20 minutes drive from town, we do schedule playdates at least once a week.

 

Do you feel this is enough time? Does your child agree?

 

Playing in the street and meeting up with neighbourhood kids sounds ideal, but we even if we did live in town, the crime situation would not allow this, so living in nature is a wonderful compromise.

[VaKim]

Well, we have school until about noon or shortly after for 4 days a week. All the time after that, and weekends, except for supper time, is free time for my girls. They do whatever strikes their fancy (within our rules, of course). We don't have any other kids around at all, but when we do occasionally see other kids, my girls are wonderful with them, even much younger ones. I am pleased. :)

[Trivium Academy]

Let's see, outside of being at home with each other all day long (pleasant time I would say about 2-3 hrs daily), I try to provide time at the neighborhood park or pool, possibly an arranged playdate once a week.

 

If we go to the park/pool and it's not an arranged playdate, they play with each other until an unsuspecting child comes to be their playmate. :D They make friends with every child they see.

 

Church every week, mostly 2x a week- youth on Wednesday and Sunday School on Sunday= 2-3 hours of playtime with other children.

 

Ds4 is about to start soccer so that will be added to his time, 1x/week. Dd8 plays piano but that's a solitary thing, just her and the teacher.

 

They play with the neighborhood kids occasionally, as the neighborhood kids are able or as it doesn't interfere with what we're doing.

 

We go on a field trip weekly and if there are kids there, they play with them. Dd8 goes to her dad's house every week and has a few friends there that she plays with when it is optimal.

 

We are still making friends and getting to know people around here but I am very vigilant about guarding us from having too many things going at once.

[Peela]

My kids dont play with each other much, although they interact in a positive way. I guess they jostle and rough play a bit, and joke around, but they dont engage in imaginative play with each other any more.

 

Ds12 plays on the street for about 2 hours after school a day, and much longer on weekends. the other kids are mostly younger and they all do a lot of imaginative play.

 

Dd14, now I think about it has very little unstructured play time any more, unless you count MSN or emails or texting with her friends! . But she loves her structured activities- guitar class, art class, Scouts, Drama and Sports activities, Science class...and around all those activities there is some time for unstructured play, usually. She has many friends and sees other kids most days. And, she goes to sleepovers and movies etc. And at Scout camps there is unstructured time. She just doesn't have any street friends like her brother, but she is fine and has what I would consider a thriving social life.

 

I dont think either kid craves more, although they might like more.

[laughing lioness]

Hijack for Elinor- I noticed in your sig block that your dd is taking Latin and French prep along with Greek. Please tell me about that. Why 3 languages at this point and do you have a specific goal for that? TIA

[Guest 4boys]

My kids don't play with other kids simply because we don't know anyone who has kids their age (except for two first cousins, but I won't go into that). We stay at home on the farm most of the time and we encourage them to play well together as brothers. They really are the best of friends. They do get to see other kids at things like extended family gatherings once in a while. I'm sure this will all change once my youngest is older because he is going to have a cousin the same age as him next door (my SIL is due in a month and they live next to us).

 

They get hours and hours every day of free play time, it's almost all they do now in summer. I actually think it's too much; that I should be getting them to do more work around the house and yard until they are old enough to go work with daddy in the shop or on the farm. But I'm thinking once we start school their lives will be more structured with school and chores in the morning and free play just in the afternoons.

[Nestof3]

A typical day for my young boys is free-time / free-play for the majority of the day. I'm okay with this. They listen to books, read books, draw pictures, perform plays and puppet shows, make restaurants, libraries, sign language school, dress up as pirates, knights, roman, etc. and play outside on the fort and rock cimbing wall, they swing, make crafts, play Playmobil and Lincoln Logs.

 

These are the things I want them doing at their age. Since they have each other, I don't create playdates with other kids. They play with other kids on Sundays when we house church.

 

I have the boys do things that need to be done -- litter box, windexing sliding glass door, making beds, putting away clothes, cleaning up after themselves, setting the table, putting dishes in dishwasher, cleaning walls, vaccuuming, etc.

[WTMindy]

With each other-they get quite a bit of time

With their cousins (3 of them are roughly their age and 2 are much younger)-at least once a week, usually twice In the summer it is a lot more because we all swim at my parent's pool.

With other friends-maybe once a month.

[Alaska Mom]

I am a *huge* fan of free play time. Not 'play dates', not structured activities; I mean free to do whatever they want. My kids are both 10, and after school they hit the street for bike riding, skate board riding, tree climbing, swimming, etc. It's very important to me that the kids have plenty of time to get bored, make up games, engage their creative side, and just play, including time to stare at the sky and name cloud shapes.

 

Not that they aren't involved in extra-curricular activities; they both sail, dance, and take music lessons. But these things don't take up a ton of time, and there is still plenty of time to just be kids. A high priority around here!

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

 

My very social kids play all the time together (alone w/o friends) with very little fighting, and almost all of it is unstructured play. They are very creative and self entertaining (almost too much so!) Here's a typical example: the other night I had two contractors over to bid on some work, it took us 2 hours (even delaying our dinner for over an hour) and the entire time the kids played together happily in the backyard where I could see them through the screen door, finally they did come in when I called them and they said they were hungry. The contractors kept commenting how good they were. I hear this all the time, especially when we travel, and I attribute it to the following:

1. I stay home with my kids (thus their needs are met)

2. LOTS OF UNSTRUCTURED PLAY -LET THEM BE BORED!!!! If you let them be bored they will figure out how to play! If you "structure" their play time or simply fill it with friends then (I BELIEVE) they don't know how to handle being bored and risk becoming unpleasant complainers.

 

I learned this with my daughter. At the age of 5 months I joined a play group. Because I have no family here, we quickly got into the routine of nearly everyday playgroups. By age three my dd would say every morning "who are we seeing today?", at bedtime it was "who are we seeing and what are we doing tomorrow". The other thing I noticed was after playdates she was often irritable and whining for no reason. I don't know if this was what she saw other kids doing or what. I decided I wanted kids that were happy with themselves, and not requiring the external stimulus of other kids or structured playdates. I decided I didn't want that to be a "requirement" for peace and happiness in my family, at this age now or later. When my son was born I pulled back from playdates, unfortunately it hurt some of the friendships I had formed with other moms, but it was the best thing for my kids. At least for now, it's been the best thing for us. :o.

[nmoira]

The girls typically play together at least four hours, probably an average of five, per day.

[Desert Rat]

My boys play with each other for about 3 hours every day. They also play by themselves during the day. On a weekly basis they usually play with other kids about 5 hours at my best guess. I think they have lots of time to be kids but I do wish there were more kids in the neighborhood to hang out with. Most of our socialization comes with organized activites. FWIW, we try to get some of the other parents to come to soccer early to let the kids play. We have to be there early to grab a field and set up the net because my dh is coach. A few kids are up for this so during soccer season they get a lot more friend time.

I hope I answered the question! :o)

[Jenny in Florida]

My son is a very social creature, and I find it very frustrating that he doesn't have more of this in his life.

 

When the kids were younger, my two would play together for at least a couple of hours each day, but that petered out two or three years ago. And now my daughter isn't home most of the year, anyway.

 

So, these days, I'd say my son averages only 8-10 hours per week of free play time with other kids. He plays with the children next door (the only ones we ever see outside in our neighborhood) maybe two afternoons a week and for longer stretches on weekends. And he hangs out on the playground at our church Sunday mornings. He also gets short periods of "bookend" playtime before and after various activities. And maybe once a month or so we manage to get together with a friend or two and hit a playground or water park.

 

He also belongs to a boys' choir that has social events throughout the year, and we attend all of those. We went camping with them for three days a few months ago, and the boys mostly just played the whole time. And right this minute, he's off at camp with the group. They do a few hours of singing every day, but also go swimming and play and do traditional "camp" things.

 

But that's about it.

 

Now, I should probably mention that he has plenty of unstructured time to play or do whatever he would like on his own. But, in terms of being with other kids, I'd definitely like him to have more.

 

We've tried various things to make this happen, though, and none of them work particularly well. We've belonged to homeschool groups and attended park days and all that stuff, but membership in those groups tends not to be stable, meaning that you never know who's going to show up on a given day. This makes it difficult to make friends. And my son is an extremely intense and quirky kid who doesn't necessarily do well playing with "just anybody."

 

So, no, I don't feel it's enough, but it's the best we've been able to do.

[Parrothead]

I've got an only who plays with the neighborhood kids most all day most everyday during the summer. When school starts we try to be done with school when the PS kids are so she can go outside and play as much as possible.

 

Right now every kid we know has gone some where for the week. Dd hasn't had anyone to play with so I started school to structure some of her day and keep her off the computer and away from the TV.

[Kelli in TN]

We have a standing playdate with another family. Every Tuesday we swap out, she takes all the boys and I take the girls and then next week we switch. The kids have totally unstructured playtime for two hours.

 

Plus we do have some neighbor kids and my kids play with them on weekends and some evenings during the week.

[Stacy in NJ]

This is almost impossible to quantify. My boys are close in age and play together daily for hours. They play with neighborhood kids almost daily for 1 to 4 hours. They have friends they know from activites and have scheduled playdates (either at our house or their friend's) maybe once or twice per week. When my guys aren't sleeping, eating, doing school work, doing their chores, playing/reading on their own, they're playing with each other or other kids.

[Starr]

We have plenty of free play here as well. We do have one neighbor that they play with and the after church playtime. Playdates , maybe one a week.

[Mississippi Missy]

Well, mine are involved in church and also a home school group. We have co-op classes each Tuesday for 8 weeks at a time twice a school year. But also field trips and stuff with these other kids. In fact we are going with some from the HS group this Tuesday to a Splash Pad (water play place). They also play with kids in the neighborhood, which I don't always like cause sometimes the kids in the neighborhood aren't the best influences. Socialization isn't a big deal to me cause I know they are getting to be around other kids through the above ways, but this is one reason for not doing public school for me. I don't want my kids to be socialized with the public school kids. There is so much going on there that I would go crazy knowing my kids were in that kind of company. Not all public school kids, but I have heard of even 8 year olds and younger doing unmentionable things on the playground. Not something I want mine to be involved in, you know. :) These are my thoughts anyhow.