We moved EK into her dorm yesterday.

[ereks mom]

EK was very nervous, but seems to be handling it well. Her college is about 3.5 hours from home, and she doesn't know any of the freshmen, although she does know several of the upperclassmen, as well as two of her professors (one is a longtime family friend). She received a letter several weeks ago with her assigned roommate's name and contact info. She emailed the girl and received a reply: "I'm sorry, but I've decided not to attend ____ College."

 

So EK requested another roommmate, whom we met yesterday on freshman move-in day. She and her family were very, very quiet, but seemed nice enough. We helped EK move in her stuff, make the bed, and stock the refrigerator, then we had to leave because there was a students-only meeting and parents were expected to say their good-bye's and go before then. It was a slightly tearful good-bye, but EK texted me later and seemed fine. However, she said her roommate was way too quiet--as in, would.not.say.a.word.

 

The roommate apparently got cold feet. She did stay the night, but this morning, when EK got back from a required meeting, her roommate was gone and her side of the room was bare! She had not said ANYTHING to EK! EK went and found the Resident Director and was told that her roommate's parents came this morning and picked her up and she disenrolled! Without saying a word to EK. Weird!!!

[Harriet Vane]

Wow--sorry about the roommate drama! Hopefully in the shuffle of the first few weeks she will end up with someone really nice.

[MomtoCandJ]

I think being without a roommate is awesome :) when I lived in the dorms for two years, I only had 1 semester where the roommate stayed the whole time. The other 3 I had at least 1 suite mate (2 other females sharing a bathroom, well usually 2 anyway). She won't have worry about some one messing with her things, forgetting to lock the doors (so someone steals your things) , or doing something against the rules (if not illegal). And yes I had all three happen.

[PollyOR]

Good luck to your daughter!

[AngieW in Texas]

I take my dd to her dorm on Tuesday. We haven't met her roommates yet, but she has been in contact with them by email.

They agreed to rent a fridge/microwave combo and one of the girls is ordering it and the other two will pay for their portions on move-in day.

 

My dd is excited. She has already met a bunch of people because she went to one of the freshman camps, but neither of her roommates signed up for it.

 

That's a lot of roommate drama.

[MedicMom]

Well, a long time ago, a girl moved into her dorm room only to discover that her roommate did the same thing--up and left the next day. A few floors down, I moved into my dorm room only to find my roommate never showed up. The college decided to put us together, and eight years later, I married her brother. :-)

 

I did transfer though and had single rooms the rest of my college career. It was worth the expense.

[Pegasus]

I think this happens more often than you would think.  Not everyone is ready to go off to college right after high school. Plus, you never know what else might have been going on with the girl or her family: sudden money concerns, serious illness, anxiety or other mental issues, etc.

 

Students are a mercurial lot. My first roommate left because she decided that it was not smart to be paying out-of-state tuition when she had fine schools back home. My second roommate (same school year) left because she decided that college wasn't for her and she just wanted to marry her long-time admirer and have babies. My third roommate (second year) moved out to live elsewhere. My fourth roommate (second year) managed to finish out the year with me.

[Halftime Hope]

It's the weirdest thing, but dd's college doesn't take off Labor Day--they've had class on that day for many years.  Why?  Because they found that a lot of homesick freshmen packed up and went home for the long weekend and never came back.

 

Imagine my shock when I was told that!   When I was a young whippersnapper ( at new college twice, since I transferred after two years at the first), I really looked forward to that day off so I could just hang out with the new friends--it was a great way to jumpstart relationships.

 

Tell EK to hang in there.   She'll have a great year in spite of the rocky start.  At least she has a chance at having a great roomie--I'm thinking it would have been really hard to enjoy rooming with someone whose heart/mind was elsewhere.

[Jenny in Florida]

My daughter had her share of roommate drama during her time on campus.

 

I knew she and her first roommate weren't likely to be besties when my daughter unpacked the single box of favorite books she had brought from home to have with her in the dorm, and her roommate stood over her saying with wonder and just a touch of scorn, "Wow! You brought a lot of books with you." What I didn't anticipate was that the roommate would be both not really prepared for the program and not exactly sane. Within about six weeks, I heard that the roommate's mother had moved into a hotel near the campus and was staying there for a few weeks in order to help her daughter study. A few weeks after the mom finally went back home, the daughter started having screaming, throwing-things-around-the-dorm-room tantrums. By the middle of the year, my daughter had arranged a room swap that put the first roommate in her original room with a friend and my daughter in a different room with a relative stranger. I don't know exactly when the first roommate finally threw in the towel, but I know she didn't last the year. Neither did the replacement roommate.

 

My daughter, however, got along famously with her replacement roommate. They continued to room together for the remainder of the first year and then all through their second. That roommate also did not graduate, going home somewhere in her junior year. But she and my daughter are still close. They talk/e-mail/Skype regularly, and the friend stayed with us for a few days at the beginning of this summer.

 

In general, though, she found that she tended to be the best friends with the girls who were not her roomies. Her best buddy from school -- who is actually moving to our city for a year to do the WDW College Program -- is not someone with whom my daughter ever roomed.

[J-rap]

That sounds like what my daughter went through! She heard from her roommate-to-be a couple weeks before school, with only a cryptic "I will not be going to school afterall." She was then assigned another roommate who moved in but never slept there, for a month, and then one day came in and moved completely out. My daughter really enjoyed being alone for a month, but then was finally assigned roommate #3. That one was fine. The next semester, however, my daughter decided to move in with her grandmother a mile away from campus. :)

[Cinder]

:grouphug:  Hugs to your dd. That first year in the dorms can be quite an experience. I was lucky enough to get along really well with my roommate in college and we went on to room together another 2 years. (She spent one year as an RA.) But the girls across the hall had to split up within the first week. It was ugly.

 

I hope your dd gets settled into a good routine, roommate or no, and that she finds some good friends soon.

[Word Nerd]

I hope your DD doesn't let either of these incidents upset her, as I'm sure it's not personal and has nothing to do with her. Maybe the new roommate has social anxiety or some other issue and didn't want to deal with the embarrassment of having someone else in the room and witnessing her failure to deal with a stressful situation. You have no way of knowing, but the girl wasn't obligated to inform her roommate before she went. She and your DD were still essentially strangers, so it isn't as if a longtime friend left without saying goodbye.

 

I hope DD gets a good roommate and makes some great friends. I lost contact with my first roommate, even after two years of sharing a dorm room with her, but I'm still friends with other roommates and girls I met in the residence hall.

[AK_Mom4]

DD19's roommate moved out right after the Christmas break last year.  They got along fine, but had nothing in common and very incompatible schedules - DD's first class was 7:30am and the other girl had all afternoon classes.  DD needed to get to bed early, her roommate never came in before 2am. 

 

DD loved having her own room and being able to turn on the light in the morning instead of trying to dress by the light of her cell phone.  And I'm sure her roommate was happier not being woke up a few hours after going to bed!

 

This early in the year, your kiddo will most likely get another roommate assigned - hopefully one that works out well.

[Catwoman]

Truthfully, I think the whole roommate thing is overrated.

 

Hopefully, your dd will get to keep the whole room for herself and will meet new friends on her floor and in the common areas of her dorm. There are many, many positives to having your own room, and let's face it, roommates don't always get along, anyway.

 

I'm sorry she had to deal with that kind of drama when she was still trying to get settled in. :(