Jen in NY Posted August 11, 2013 Share Posted August 11, 2013 One week left. Ready or not, here we go .... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vida Winter Posted August 11, 2013 Share Posted August 11, 2013 One week left. Ready or not, here we go .... Yes indeed. :crying: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caroline Posted August 11, 2013 Share Posted August 11, 2013 He checks in Thursday with minimal stuff. Friday we take him all his stuff and pick up anything he needs. Sunday is convocation. Then he's just gone. How do you get used to buying fewer groceries? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted August 11, 2013 Author Share Posted August 11, 2013 Thirteen days and counting here. Making plans and memories. (((hugs))) to all the mamas left behind. We will be here together Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penguin Posted August 13, 2013 Share Posted August 13, 2013 One more week here. I was struggling this morning and then I reminded myself that this one-week-away-from-being-a-college-student son was 12 years old when I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Back then, I cried and cried that I might not be here for the boys' big moments. I think I have a grip on my perspective now. I am here. This is a moment to be cherished. Not that that's gonna stop my waterworks, mind you :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThisIsTheDay Posted August 13, 2013 Share Posted August 13, 2013 Penguin! What a sweet blessing, and yes, you are right, it's a beautiful perspective to keep in mind. :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted August 13, 2013 Share Posted August 13, 2013 I've been somewhat absent from the boards - on, but able to read much less than before. We have one more week with middle son before we drop him off again for his sophomore year. We saw the labs he worked in, have been visiting relatives, eating in favorite spots where I grew up and playing Mahjongg (coupled with visiting relatives), and yesterday we spent the whole afternoon getting fish & chips + ice cream and just reminiscing in a beautiful park overlooking the St Lawrence River while we watched the ships and sailboats pass by. He no longer plays with his brothers on the playground, but he's very involved with conversations about life. The water was a gorgeous blue (as it always is on a sunny day). Tomorrow we head home to spend the last few days, though there he'll want to connect with some of his friends too. Seize the day. I really am proud of all he's become and on the path to becoming, but I also love these precious moments. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted August 13, 2013 Share Posted August 13, 2013 As Creekland says, Carpet Diem! I won't see dd again until Thanksgiving, so I'm trying to focus on supporting her and dear son in law's excitement...good jobs, first apartment, starting life together. Our couch surfer is leaving the nest too. This is a very good development in her life. It is a bittersweet moment for us. But I've grown attached so it's not easy. Still it is important to revel in how far she has come. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angie in VA Posted August 14, 2013 Share Posted August 14, 2013 The van has been packed since 5pm. (Over-achiever dd did that. She started packing in April.) Breakfast is made and only needs to be warmed up first thing tomorrow. I have some special treats for the ride to the college. I can do this. I can drop off my first born tomorrow and leave her too many hours away from home. I can leave her there alone in her room till Saturday when her roommate arrives. I can do this. I can. It won't kill me to leave my heart there with her. I will be OK. I will. Now you all say it back to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted August 14, 2013 Author Share Posted August 14, 2013 (((Angie))) I would be tempted to sleep in the roommate's bed until she got there. I'm not saying it is right or rational, but it would run through my head. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThisIsTheDay Posted August 14, 2013 Share Posted August 14, 2013 Angie, I'm ready to cry for you! It's after midnight. Now I have 8 days left with my girl. I talked her out of coming home over Labor Day weekend. I think it will be better for her to be there, to acclimate, to have plenty of down time, and to be around other students who are looking to meet others. If dd wants to, she can change her mind after school starts. Otherwise, I told her I'd come up for the afternoon and take her grocery shopping. If I manage to be stoic through all of this, I hope she doesn't take it to mean that I really don't care that she's leaving. :crying: :crying: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted August 14, 2013 Share Posted August 14, 2013 Angie I hear you. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: The day I left for college, my little sister started kindergarten. Mom stayed behind to take her to her first day of school, dad took me to move into the dorms and buy books. Mom cried. I was sooooooo excited about embarking on this new adventure that I just could not wrap my brain around why she was so weepy. Now.I.get.it. Today is the last day here for our couch surfer. Dd rolled into town last night to get the last of her stuff, and is now on the road to New Jersey. I won't see her again until Thanksgiving and that's only if dh and I can go to them because with such new jobs, they won't have much time they can take off of work. I'm struggling a little bit and have to leave in 30 minutes to conduct some chemistry experiments with about 60 4-H students. I don't want to be weepy around them and hope the distraction of working with them will be enough to keep me from focusing on my feelings, but I think the ride home from 4-H camp may be a bit swampy. Sigh, this too shall pass. Despite it all, I'm excited for my two girls. Both are moving on in their lives in very healthy, exciting ways, and I need to remember to be their main cheerleader! You'll get through...we'll both get through. Cherish the moment. Your daughter must be sooooooooooooo excited. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luckymama Posted August 14, 2013 Share Posted August 14, 2013 :grouphug: Angie :grouphug: Faith :grouphug: all of us! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen in NY Posted August 15, 2013 Share Posted August 15, 2013 (((Angie and Faith))).... I am thinking about you guys today. Angie, how did drop off go? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angie in VA Posted August 15, 2013 Share Posted August 15, 2013 (((Angie))) I would be tempted to sleep in the roommate's bed until she got there. I'm not saying it is right or rational, but it would run through my head. I am going to call it a victory that I didn't even consider this. (DD would never have let me do it, lol, but after I read this, I was tempted!) It helped a lot that one of her suitemates is already there! DD is the only freshman living w/ 6 other upperclassmen. I love it! (So does she! Her roommate is a senior.) Angie, I'm ready to cry for you! If I manage to be stoic through all of this, I hope she doesn't take it to mean that I really don't care that she's leaving. :crying: :crying: (((TITD))) Hold on tight and don't let go until you have to. I made dd feel guilty b/c I cried so much earlier this week. She said, "I'm not dying!" I wanted to say, "No, you're not. But *I* am!" I was OK yesterday, I only cried a little going there and when saying goodbye, but then she walked back over to me for one more hug and I lost it. It was so sad! Angie I hear you. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: The day I left for college, my little sister started kindergarten. Mom stayed behind to take her to her first day of school, dad took me to move into the dorms and buy books. Mom cried. I was sooooooo excited about embarking on this new adventure that I just could not wrap my brain around why she was so weepy. Now.I.get.it. Sigh, this too shall pass. Despite it all, I'm excited for my two girls. Both are moving on in their lives in very healthy, exciting ways, and I need to remember to be their main cheerleader! You'll get through...we'll both get through. Cherish the moment. Your daughter must be sooooooooooooo excited. Your poor mama! ITA, I am so excited for dd. We prayed for this, begged the Lord for this, nay nagged Him, really, so here it is: we got what we prayed for. She is over the moon. She met a friend at the dining hall last night, then saw her dorm room and then they went to a movie together (on campus). She's not looking back, and that's a good thing. :grouphug: Angie :grouphug: Faith :grouphug: all of us! (((Luckymama))) Thank you! I'm so glad I have others here to help me through it! (((Angie and Faith))).... I am thinking about you guys today. Angie, how did drop off go? (((Jen))) Hey, girl! We did OK. Amazingly, this morning, the sun is shining (but it's garish, really!) and despite KNOWING my heart was ripped out, I see no visible scars. Every morning I get ice water ready for the dc and me. We call it "love" - acts of service and all that. She left her glass out yesterday morning. I cried this morning when I put it in the dishwasher and got water for ds and me only. Sniff, sniff. The house is too quiet and she's not calling enough, but I'm being good and NOT calling her. We get texting this weekend (when our next billing cycle begins) and I imagine we'll text a lot, but I told her I'm still going to want to hear her voice! So things that are helping: the sun is still shining (this goes on both lists, actually) I have no scars (again, both lists) staying busy Facetime her college's apps on my iPad texting, when we get it Saturday Things that are heart-wrenching: the sun is still shining (see above) I have no visible scars (see above) seeing her water glass here her empty room the quiet of the house ds's playing "Ashoken Farewell" on the violin this morning (dd plays this too, so it was difficult to hear! This link is NOT my dd, btw.) I can't thank you enough for your hugs and words of encouragement!!! You are the best! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lolly Posted August 15, 2013 Share Posted August 15, 2013 All three of my girls are leaving home for the first time in a week. Eldest did not want to leave when she graduated. I'm more frightened about her leaving now than the twins. She has severe allergies and is going to have to exist with a roommate in an apartment. (No way for her to live in a dorm. She has to cook her own food.) She has spoken with her roommate, and the girl seems fine with it. But, no one can really understand the toll it takes living with dd20. It is really difficult. Her not wanting to leave 2 years ago was because she was afraid she would die in her sleep due to a reaction and her body not be found. Me, I am mostly feeling sorry for ds16. Poor boy may be worked to death! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jackie in NE Posted August 15, 2013 Share Posted August 15, 2013 It has done my heart so much good to read this thread! :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: To all of you! Dh and I will get in the car tomorrow.... TOMORROW! to take our oldest dd to college 8 1/2 hrs away. I have been making all her favorite foods over the last week. I've been doing her laundry, and helping her with lists, and staring blankly at her. I wish I could capture her somehow, and not let her go, but still allow her to go and start this wonderfully exciting chapter in her life. I wish I could feel joy in seeing all the years of preparation for this moment come to fruition. Not gonna happen. She will be fine. But she will be gone. And life will never be the same. Ouch. I've already made our hotel reservations for the family week-end at her school in September. I don't know how I will make it until then. I feel like I'm being ripped in two. :sad: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted August 15, 2013 Share Posted August 15, 2013 We are okay. DD posted that she's busy unpacking while honorary couch surfing dd called to say she loved adores her apartment, and the roomate shows signs of being fairly reasonable to live with. I am dwelling on writing courese syllabi and finding anstudent or two to tutor. Distractions are good. Thanks everyone for caring so much! ETA: I hate posting from my kindle. It's so hard to edit and I fat finger certain Letters all the time! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luckymama Posted August 15, 2013 Share Posted August 15, 2013 Good gravy, you guys are making me cry! Eight days to go for us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted August 15, 2013 Share Posted August 15, 2013 I'm getting excited because dd is coming home next week and ds will be home from backpacking at the same time! We get two whole weeks and then...They both leave for Spain. :svengo: A couple of days together and then dd is off to study for the semester and ds 17 is going to live with my former host family in Germany for a few months. I'm still operating on how exciting it will be for them but know the reality for me. I hated it when dd left for college. Hang on to your hats, the pain decreases, a little. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vida Winter Posted August 15, 2013 Share Posted August 15, 2013 Jackie, I'm about to make reservations for the end of Sept. also - at least we have that to look forward to! Hang in there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThisIsTheDay Posted August 16, 2013 Share Posted August 16, 2013 Seven days to go. I get a panicky, punched-in-the-stomach feeling reading the newer posts here. I'm still working on denial. Two days in a row this week, I cried privately to dh about how wonderful everything has been, reminding him of when I pointed out **12 years ago** that we were THEN living the best years of our lives. Whoever commented above about things never being the same after your kid goes . . . :crying: :crying: :crying: Thank God I have one left at home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted August 16, 2013 Author Share Posted August 16, 2013 8 days and counting. I helped clean out dd's room yesterday. Well, mostly I did it while she watched. She is a royal slob. lol We got bags of things to donate, a pile of laundry (which I did - usually she does her own) and walked down memory lane. Her siblings helped us, too. At one point, she said the cleaning process was making her sad. We persevered through it. At the end, I vacuumed, and as I was vacuuming, I had flashbacks to several memories - of setting up her room when we moved into this house (she was five) and of putting together the pictures for my mother's memorial service slide show. As I was doing the latter almost seven years ago, I recall feeling a heaviness and desperation as I reached the last photos. They were in chronological order laid out on a table. I realized there would be no more photos of my mother. I was walking my way in photos through her entire life laid out on a dining room table. That became superimposed on my vacuuming experience, the last task in cleaning the room. When I was finished, I climbed into her twin bed with her, laid down beside her, held her and cried. She cried, too. I don't know how else to do this, mamas. She seems to connect with my pain. It resonates with her own pain. It feels like we are walking the same experience at the same time in the same way...and how often does that happen in one's parenting "career"? Not often, in my experience. Selfishly, I am so grateful that my first one to leave the nest is doing so reluctantly and not gleefully. She is sad, too. She is scared. She is so opposite of my 18 year old self. We exchange little looks and hugs during the day. It is a precious time for us, and I am grateful for it. (((hugs))) to all the mamas wearing their hearts on their sleeves and also to those desperately trying to hide those hearts. As summer rolls into fall, we will be here together, and that is a comfort to me. We are going out to dinner tonight, all six of us, at college girl's request. "Somewhere cheap that everyone likes" was her request. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted August 16, 2013 Author Share Posted August 16, 2013 Everyone experiences these transitions individually and differently. It's great that you are not a mess. I am excited for my dd, also, but I am a mess. Very much so. I don't think there is any one "right" way to do this...or most things. So we can each be where we are, and that is fine. Maybe you'll be a mess later but maybe not. Maybe I will not be a mess in a few months. I have no idea. Never done this before. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caroline Posted August 16, 2013 Share Posted August 16, 2013 It's done. He's there and he seems happy. My 12 year old has moved into his room. My 6 year old has completely taken over the room he and the 12 year old shared. And I feel ok. I am a little jealous--I loved going to college and grad school, and he is at my grad school alma mater. He is going to do amazing things and have a lot of fun. I am excited for him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
serene Posted August 17, 2013 Share Posted August 17, 2013 7 more days for us, and it's our second year. It's only the *tiniest* bit easier thinking about it this time than it was last year. I go from being focused on the busy-ness of getting everything ready to go, to all the breath just leaving my lungs and a fist squeezing my heart. She's had some health concerns this summer and I know that's part of my reluctance to see her go. She'll be 10 hours from home. She loves her classes, and it's where we believe God wants her. That's really all that makes it bearable. Praying for you all. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted August 17, 2013 Share Posted August 17, 2013 We're down to 3 days left at home for my middle son before he heads back for his sophomore year. Yesterday we realized what our problem was... we're trying to stuff a months worth of experiences into 5 days... not an easy task! What we get in is fun though - and relaxing. It's been nice that the weather has been perfect. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brigid in NC Posted August 17, 2013 Share Posted August 17, 2013 Grad student DS1 moved into his off-campus house last week. We moved sophomore DS2 into his dorm suite yesterday afternoon. He's with lots of his very best buddies from last year's suite. A happysad day. Hugs to all! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nancy in nj Posted August 18, 2013 Share Posted August 18, 2013 Well, I survived drop-off day! Surprisingly no tears and I am just happy and thrilled for dd rather than sad. Hmmmm....not sure what that says about me! My daughter and I are extremely close and I'm sure that at some point in the near future I will be an absolute mess as reality sets in. However, right now I am just so happy and thankful and hopeful that she will have an amazing college experience at Chapel Hill. I don't think I've mentioned much or at all on the board, but my dd has some severe health challenges, including chemical sensitivity, that triggers her asthma. She cannot be around any scented products or cleaning chemicals, perfumes, soaps etc. She also has over 54 food allergies which also trigger her asthma. I never really believed that it was possible for her to have a normal college experience. Well, Chapel Hill gave her a single room (9 x 16)in a building with great air-flow and air filters, on the North Campus closer to classrooms and with a nearby kitchen (connected through an outside hallway so she doesn't have to be exposed to other peoples cinnamon and spices which would also trigger her asthma. We thought she would have to do 100% of her own cooking, but after meeting with their dietitian last week, they are going to custom prepare 6 dinners per week for my daughter using only her safe foods. They have assigned a chef to her and the dietitian will be in contact with her at least weekly. All she has to do is text a few hours before to let them know when she will be arriving at the dining hall and her meal will be waiting at the correct temperature (hot or cold). This way she can be flexible and eat with her friends! The only thing they couldn't help us with is the laundry situation--she cannot even be in any laundry facility let alone use any machines that have been exposed to scented laundry products. My husband figured out that dd could mail laundry home (2 day mail), I could wash it and mail it back. She will handwash most of her shirts/smaller items, and I bought her 8 new pairs of jeans so that she won't have to send stuff home too often, but it is nice that we won't have to make extra trips back & forth from campus (2.5 hours away) to help her with this. Not that we would mind, but we are trying to give her as close to normal, independent college experience as possible. And...the icing on the cake is that a girl that she met at camp last summer and hit it off really well has a room 3 doors down from my dd! As we were finally leaving last night after a very long day of setting up her room (she needed help due to the sheer amount of extra stuff she needed to accomodate her health issues), my dd was heading out with this girl and the girl's roommate for a special campus showing of The Great Gatsby. So yeah, I am just so, so thankful and happy for dd. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted August 18, 2013 Author Share Posted August 18, 2013 Wow, that is an amazing amount of accommodation! What a wonderful set-up for your dd. I'm glad she will get this experience. :) My dd is gluten free and will be eating in the dining halls. There is one which caters to gluten free students, and my dd is pretty good about determining what is safe for her and what is not, but I am a bit concerned about that part. Thankfully, her gluten reaction is not life-threatening so I trust that she will work her way through the learning curve involved. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barbara H Posted August 18, 2013 Share Posted August 18, 2013 Thanks for sharing the accommodations you've been able to get in place at Chapel Hill. Great that they've been so willing to work to get her needs met! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kareni Posted August 18, 2013 Share Posted August 18, 2013 Well, I survived drop-off day! Surprisingly no tears and I am just happy and thrilled for dd rather than sad. Hmmmm....not sure what that says about me! I think it says that we are all different and that that is fine. I too shed no tears when we left my daughter at college. I was happy that she was happy. (My husband was the one who was more affected which surprised me at the time.) I don't think I've mentioned much or at all on the board, but my dd has some severe health challenges, including chemical sensitivity, that triggers her asthma. Kudos to Chapel Hill for easing your daughter's way. I wish her every success! Regards, Kareni Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen in NY Posted August 18, 2013 Share Posted August 18, 2013 Drop off day #1: daughter doing fantastically; I'm doing OK. Not too many tears shed. I'll take it. :) She's off on a pre-orientation rough camping trip with 7 other newly minted Cornellians and their guides. Friday they will come home stinking, ready to move into their dorms and begin orientation. We'll meet her there with all of her stuff. I think being out in the 'wild' for a couple of days before this college roller coaster begins can only be a good thing... looking up, out, and ahead. All good. I'm doing some of that, too. Thanks so much to all of the moms on this board that have been such an amazing support system for me about everything that has gone on this year. I couldn't have done it without you!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tardis Girl Posted August 19, 2013 Share Posted August 19, 2013 I am very impressed, Nancy, that Chapel Hill was so accommodating! Very nice, indeed. But oh... this thread!! Brings up some many memories for me! Last August we moved to a new state, then 10 days later put our 2 oldest on an Amtrak train to go across the country for their freshman year of college. I still have never been out to campus to see where they live. They didn't live together their freshman year, but it was nice to know that even though the campus is huge they would know ONE other person when they got there. In the past year, I've seen each of them twice -- for about 10 days at Christmas, and over the summer I saw one for a month and the other for 10 days again. But they get some good holiday hours working on campus when lots of other people leave, so that's good. That first time of goodbye was just awful! The 3 younger sibs just cried and cried...which made us all cry when we were all previously doing a decent job holding it together. But it did get easier. And even though I am THRILLED for them and this season of their lives and wouldn't want it any other way, I will admit that the first year (1st semester especially) was so hard for ME... I just really missed the little daily things -- their laughing, their teasing, their high energy and just love of life that teenagers/young adults have. They are just FUN people to be around and really became my friends in those last couple of years. So moving to a new state where I knew no one AND had them leave at the same time was just so hard. But isn't it great to have these wonderful young adults in our lives, wherever they may be? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vida Winter Posted August 19, 2013 Share Posted August 19, 2013 Thought I had been doing well so far but this morning I tried to brush my teeth with the phone. Lord, help me through the next two days. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nancy in nj Posted August 19, 2013 Share Posted August 19, 2013 Ok, Vida Winter. Thanks for making me spew my tea all over the monitor! Hang in there! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jackie in NE Posted August 19, 2013 Share Posted August 19, 2013 Update: Drop-off went OK. Creighton literally had a big brass band playing for the freshmen as they arrived. Only the first of many things that began to overwhelm dd. But she's doing OK. We're texting a lot! When she told me she had lettuce and cantaloupe and an apple for dinner, I said, "That doesn't sound like college food. Don't they have any pizza or burgers?" She replied, " Yes, they have all that, but that's where all the boys are, and they're SCARY!" Lol. That's my girl. I can't wait to see her and hug her again. Surprisingly, I didn't shed any tears, but dh did. :( I just feel a deep loss in my heart. As if a part of me is missing. I hope that will subside a bit when we visit next month..... Sigh...... I know this is how it's supposed to be. I know we've been preparing her for this for her whole life. But that doesn't make it any easier. As homeschoolers, we dedicate so much of our selves to our children. I don't think that's a bad thing, necessarily, but it does make days like this extremely painful. Do you think that other moms have it easier, since they're used to relinquishing their children to school each and every day? Thanks to all for sharing. I'm glad to know I'm not alone. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penguin Posted August 19, 2013 Share Posted August 19, 2013 Jackie, my older two boys were never homeschooled. And the drop-offs are HARD. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jane in NC Posted August 19, 2013 Share Posted August 19, 2013 I think it says that we are all different and that that is fine. I too shed no tears when we left my daughter at college. I was happy that she was happy. Regards, Kareni I thought that I would shed tears but I was so excited for The Boy! New worlds opening! But I did spend my son's first year of college feeling that my arms were metaphorically out stretched to catch him if he fell. He had a rough spot during his first semester but survived it. Warning: first year college students are exposed to all sorts of new cooties. It seems that viruses strike hard in first year dorms around week three or four. Hang in there, Moms. Prepare to send tea and sympathy! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted August 19, 2013 Author Share Posted August 19, 2013 As homeschoolers, we dedicate so much of our selves to our children. I don't think that's a bad thing, necessarily, but it does make days like this extremely painful. Do you think that other moms have it easier, since they're used to relinquishing their children to school each and every day? My dd was never homeschooled. She always attended private school. I am still a mess. It must be the mama reaction in me, not the homeschooling mama reaction. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angie in VA Posted August 19, 2013 Share Posted August 19, 2013 He checks in Thursday with minimal stuff. Friday we take him all his stuff and pick up anything he needs. Sunday is convocation. Then he's just gone. How do you get used to buying fewer groceries? (((Caroline))) Not sure about the groceries, but I hate setting the table for just 3 instead of 4! :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angie in VA Posted August 19, 2013 Share Posted August 19, 2013 Ok, I'm really feeling like a weirdo... I am excited: I am SO excited that he is going somewhere where they can challenge him. He is excited about making friends. ( Doesn't really have any here.) He is getting to pursue what he wants to do!!!! He gets to spread his wings and be independent.. I LOVE that. I finally have to time to concentrate on my other two kids, especially my middle one. At 16 he has always been in oldest's shadow. My oldest needs to leave so that my middle one can finally have a chance to shine and get some extra attention. I want him to have HIS turn!!! I guess I'm a freak. I'm not a mess. I am so excited for him and for our family... I will miss him, but our lives will be just fine... I felt this way too, but it hit me hard. From my TMI file: hormones entered into it (wouldn't you know it? Day of!) I told DH I'd like to have known how I'd have handled it w/o the hormones making me weepy. I did think that b/c she was always gone working, volunteering or at a rehearsal, it wouldn't be too different when she left for school. Well, the quiet and her empty room proved that theory wrong, but... My sadness has lessened each day, helped immensely by seeing my favorite singer in concert Friday night! Woot!, and because ds's schedule of extra-curriculars is gearing up. We had a busy weekend too. Being busy does help. And she's calling a lot more since classes are starting. And the texting! Got that Saturday. Texting rocks! (Well, old eyes + fat fingers = slow texting, but I like the contact from her!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tardis Girl Posted August 19, 2013 Share Posted August 19, 2013 I just now remembered that my mom told me years after the fact the she cried when they drove away, leaving me on the curb waving goodbye. And I was only 2+ hours away and could go home every month or so if I wanted. It's funny -- as a mom who has gone through this now, I can totally understand her feelings... but I had no idea at the time that she felt that way. And we weren't really all that close in the months leading up to the "goodbye". Of course, not surprisingly, I was just very focused on ME at the time and I remember feeling a little scared but very excited too. There were times later in those early weeks when I missed home, although I don't know that I every cried... but the time of goodbye wasn't one of them. All this to say... I think a wide spectrum of emotions from both the parents and the young adult can ALL be considered normal, regardless of your previous educational or life experiences. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angie in VA Posted August 19, 2013 Share Posted August 19, 2013 Drop off day #1: daughter doing fantastically; I'm doing OK. Not too many tears shed. I'll take it. :) She's off on a pre-orientation rough camping trip with 7 other newly minted Cornellians and their guides. Friday they will come home stinking, ready to move into their dorms and begin orientation. We'll meet her there with all of her stuff. I think being out in the 'wild' for a couple of days before this college roller coaster begins can only be a good thing... looking up, out, and ahead. All good. I'm doing some of that, too. Thanks so much to all of the moms on this board that have been such an amazing support system for me about everything that has gone on this year. I couldn't have done it without you!! Great news (and attitude you have), Jen! And your last paragraph? This. Exactly this!!! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThisIsTheDay Posted August 20, 2013 Share Posted August 20, 2013 I don't remember seeing this Boston Globe article linked here. Pull out your tissues. And you can click on the "collapse" to easily read the rest of the article (titled, I Was the Sun, the Kids My Planets). I am comforted to know that so many others are in this same place. For those of you who are only excited, I want you to know that I am so very excited too--for my kid!! It IS an exciting time, really. But I also have so much of my identity wrapped up in being a homeschool mom, which I've liked. I wish they could have stayed 6 and 10 forever (and me, 40, lol). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted August 21, 2013 Author Share Posted August 21, 2013 I don't remember seeing this Boston Globe article linked here. Pull out your tissues. And you can click on the "collapse" to easily read the rest of the article (titled, I Was the Sun, the Kids My Planets). I am comforted to know that so many others are in this same place. For those of you who are only excited, I want you to know that I am so very excited too--for my kid!! It IS an exciting time, really. But I also have so much of my identity wrapped up in being a homeschool mom, which I've liked. I wish they could have stayed 6 and 10 forever (and me, 40, lol). I shared this on my FB page. Thank you. My dh said he made the mistake of reading it before a meeting and couldn't stop bawling in the car. I'm not the only mess around here. (Dh is her step-father, but he had a large hand in her upbringing. He is very upset because our other three kids will someday go to college. We are a sentimental bunch here, evidently.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen in NY Posted August 21, 2013 Share Posted August 21, 2013 (((Dot))) Hang in there, mom. Somehow, despite being a blubbering mess for months, it is better now that she's gone. I would not have believed it if you told me that last Sunday morning, but it's true. Instead of anticipating how awful it's going to be, it is what it is... not as horrifyingly hollow as I imagined. I still breathe. I still sleep. I still laugh at my husband's jokes. I know that sounds dramatic, but seriously, I was a total mess for a while ahead of the leaving. I still love her, and she knows it. She still loves me, too... just from 1 hour and 46 minutes away. She is well. I am well. All is well. You and Walt will be well, too. ((((more hugs)))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted August 22, 2013 Author Share Posted August 22, 2013 (((Dot))) Hang in there, mom. Somehow, despite being a blubbering mess for months, it is better now that she's gone. I would not have believed it if you told me that last Sunday morning, but it's true. Instead of anticipating how awful it's going to be, it is what it is... not as horrifyingly hollow as I imagined. I still breathe. I still sleep. I still laugh at my husband's jokes. I know that sounds dramatic, but seriously, I was a total mess for a while ahead of the leaving. I still love her, and she knows it. She still loves me, too... just from 1 hour and 46 minutes away. She is well. I am well. All is well. You and Walt will be well, too. ((((more hugs)))) I understand this phenomenon, as I tend to front-load my feelings, as well. (((hugs))) Catch you on the flip side this Sunday. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThisIsTheDay Posted August 22, 2013 Share Posted August 22, 2013 My husband was praying at dinner tonight, and I started crying. That made dd begin crying. I am so glad I've been able to hold it together. Dd said that I'm the one who will make her cry. I have to remember that. We've kept the moving/leaving part of it as stress free as humanly possible, I think. We take her tomorrow. I'm so grateful it's just 200 miles. We've made tentative plans to either go up or have her come home on a a couple of weekends over the next two months. 24 hours. I want to enjoy taking her up tomorrow, but I want it to be done and over too, where I can go back to my happy little island of denial. :crying: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caroline Posted August 22, 2013 Share Posted August 22, 2013 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Bfr__WhGJg That is where I left my kid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.