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S/O: Did you want to know the sex of your baby before he/she was born?


DawnM
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  1. 1. Did you want to know the sex of your baby (babies) prior to giving birth?

    • Yes, I knew the gender of every baby I had before giving birth
      143
    • I wanted to know but was not able to find out every child's gender prior to birth (for whatever reason)
      24
    • There was at least one child I chose not to find out about and chose to be surprised
      47
    • I did not want to know the gender of any of my babies and wanted to be surprised.
      75
    • Other
      10


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Nope. I prepared for a baby, not a baby girl or a baby boy.:-)

I admit I almost asked the us tech during our third pregnancy, but didn't. Dh said it was like opening presents before Christmas. YMMV, but I think he's right. We've become a society that cannot wait--preparation sometimes carries with it the illusion of control, doesn't it? Lol:-)

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We opted to be surprised with our daughter. We broke down and asked during an ultrasound later in the pregnancy, but by then she was all curled up and the tech said she couldn't really tell for sure but thought it was a girl. So, we had a strong hint, but had to be prepared for either.

 

With the second pregnancy, we figured it would make life easier just to know. And I'm so glad we did make that choice, because it took me some time to adjust to the idea of having a boy. I wasn't upset or disappointed, just weirdly surprised and a little freaked out. In retrospect, I'm relieved and happy I had a chance to work through that before the baby was born so I was prepared to welcome him properly.

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We chose to be surprised with number four. It was so much fun that I wish we'd done it for all Our kids. I got some weird comments about it though. A few people made comments that we must not care about the baby if we didn't care to find out what it was? Oh, and I had a hcp that was very upset when I referred to the baby as "it". Ummm, saying "him or her" 95 times is just annoying!

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I found out, and I sort of wish I hadn't, for practical reasons. Once I found out my first was a girl, all practicality went out the window and I went for really girly baby stuff. Then of course it couldn't be passed down to a boy.

 

On the other hand, dh would not even begin to talk about names until we found out. I would have gone crazy having to go through the whole pregnancy without talking names.

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We did not want to know.  There are so few genuine surprises in life so why not this one.  Dh has very strong opinions on this.  He even jokingly threatened to sue if the US tech told us anything.  Plus, we knew several people who brought home baby boys to pink rooms.  :laugh:

 

ETA:  With my second, I had a strong feeling it was a girl.  We did not know for sure because we didn't want to know.  About 2 weeks before our second was born, I was in line at Target with a bunch of stuff for the baby when the cashier said, "So, you're having a girl?"  I looked down and noticed that I had subconsciously picked a bunch of pink stuff.  I had to go and put it all back.  Yep, I had a boy.  After we had 2 boys, dh told me about a dream where we had 3 sons.  He never remembers his dreams, but this one was so vivid.  So, when I was pregnant with our third, I was feeling strongly that I was having a boy (probably subconsciously thinking about that dream.)  I didn't want to think about it because I knew that this was probably my last and I knew at some point I would probably mourn not ever having a girl.  I just didn't want to taint this pregnancy with expectation and disappointment.  When our third was born a girl, it was like icing on the cake - a delightful surprise. 

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Yes I knew and wanted to know. I didn't have a preference or anything like that, but I am not really into surprises.

Me too. Plus, I liked being able to call him/her by name ASAP and that I didn't have to buy everything gender neutral.

 

I know many people who didn't find out. No big to me what other folks do about it.

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I answered Other because it changed. 

 

For our first, it was normal to get a keepsake ultrasound where we lived. We were excited and wanted to know. It also seemed important for planning and buying gear.

 

After that we moved to a more rural area where ultrasounds are only done for medical problems. Even then you were not allowed to watch the ultrasound. They *might* save a picture for you...if you wanted...but no hard copies or video. It took all the fun out of it. 

 

I got an ultrasound for my second, by asking enough, but I didn't want to bother after that. After 2 children it didn't seem so important what the gender was. We had 2 boys, we could have more boys or girls. It didn't matter as much as it did in the beginning. Of course, this seemed to really annoy half the people in our lives.

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My answer is too complicated to fit in a poll!

 

When we were young and innocent (ie first baby) I thought it would be nice to know. The doctor did the ultrasound with the simple office machine and gave us 50-50 odds of having a girl. I told her I could have come up with that myself! Then she just said maybe more likely a girl than a boy. The simple office machine did not detect dd's brain defect, and I think in retrospect I'm glad I did not have that worry throughout pregnancy or the first two months of her life.

 

With the second pregnancy, there were several ultrasounds, and they were for serious issues--would this child also have a brain defect (we were given slightly higher odds than most people of having a birth defect simply because we already had a child with one). It may have just been pregnancy hormones, but I was very irritated when other people asked if we were going to find out the gender. That was not the reason for the ultrasounds! So just to be ornery, I said I didn't want to know at the main ultrasound and I was able to tell people that we didn't find out. But there were still two more ultrasounds after that (because I was so large), and my favorite doctor did share that she thought it was a girl when I asked. I loved having this information privately and we didn't tell the world.

 

With third pregnancy, I wanted to know. We moved into a new house when I was 7 months pregnant and baby's gender would affect who would be sharing a room. It just would have been helpful information. So of course they couldn't tell at the main ultrasound. And with that pregnancy I didn't need anymore ultrasounds, so we were surprised. People always wonder if you want the gender you don't have yet, but we were thrilled to have another girl. We knew girls, we had all the girl stuff, we were girl experts!

 

Anyway, ultrasounds can come with other emotional issues. Beware of mentioning gender when there are other things going on!

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I knew all four times I was having a boy, and the US confirmed that each time.

 

Interesting to read the comments about being "surprised" at birth.  My sister just had her second, and wasn't able to find out beforehand.  She said the "surprise" at birth just wasn't that big a deal. The excitement of finally having the baby was a the main thing, with the "reveal" very much secondary. I was excited when her baby was born and we finally knew, though!

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I didn't know the gender of my oldest four.  I declined US as I wasn't having any problems and unless there was an actual medical reason (just to "make sure everything is okay" isn't a medical reason.), I didn't have one.  My dr's didn't quite understand why I wasn't jumping at the opportunity to know, but they went with it.  that said, my mom-gut was pretty darn sure of the gender of each of them, and was correct each time.

 

with dudeling, my first US I was 7weeks because I was bleeding. I had lots of US because I was bleeding and having other issues.  I had a strong gut of what he was, but was very glad to have an offical determination.  he also was shy and didn't want to face the doppler.  but they got him on one of  my checks.

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I had to vote other. With my first I really didn't want to know but my doc (I saw a family practice doc under a special program our military hospital had) sent me to the OB clinic for an ultrasound at 36 weeks and that doc let it slip. I don't think he meant to. Things were pretty crazy in the OB clinic at the time and there was no ultrasound tech so the head OB ended up doing it. At the time no one who was having a "normal" pregnancy was getting an ultrasound--the clinic just couldn't handle the extra workload because they were short-staffed.

 

With my second I didn't have the opportunity. Different doc but this one didn't feel ultrasounds were necessary unless there was cause. Another "normal" pregnancy for me so no u/s. I had a very strong feeling baby was a boy, and he was.

 

Third--I said I didn't want to know but I think maybe I really did want to know because when the u/s tech hinted it to me I didn't object or get upset. So we found out with the 3rd. And it turned out I really liked knowing.

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I had to be difficult and choose "other." We wanted to know each of our children's gender before birth, but with our second, they couldn't tell us, and I only had one ultrasound (unusual for me), to have a chance to find out. It didn't matter, though, because I knew who each of them was before they were born, and I was right every time! There were no surprises for us!

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#1 - tried to find out, but he wouldn't cooperate during the ultrasound.

#2 - decided we kind of enjoyed having that surprise with #1, and chose not to find out. Also, didn't do an ultrasound that pregnancy. If we had, we probably would have found out - it seems artificial to me to have it in my medical records but not know myself.

#3 - chose to find out because everything else in life was unpredictable at the time and I didn't really feel the need for more surprise.

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No.  It was super fun sharing the news of the baby being born and the sex and name and everything with everyone. Baby is here!! Yay! and it's..... a boy!   Yay!

 

My pregnancies were totally planned down to potential due dates. It was fun to have one mystery.

 

And it was fun when everyone, and I mean EVERYONE insisted I was pg with a girl the second time. I had people telling me all kinds of theories, but he was a boy.

 

 

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We knew with our first. I had complications and had ultrasounds pretty much weekly. I'm glad I wanted to know because several people slipped up and commented on the baby being a girl.

 

We had one ultrasound with the second but they couldn't tell. I agree with an above poster that finding out the gender after birth just wasn't that big of a deal. We were just happy to have another baby.

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I wanted to know, but was not offered an ultrasound with my first pregnancy. With the second, it was fairly obvious, third one did not cooperate for ultrasound even though we did want to know, and fourth we found out for certain three days before he was born. This was handy information because at the time dd was in the larger of the two bedrooms, and with a third boy on the way and eventually all three needing to share, it meant needing to do some shifting at home. She also had a larger closet...I think that was the biggest thing! I needed that closet for the boys. Obviously we would have gotten along just fine without knowing, but it was nice to have a heads up and gently break the news to her that she would need to change rooms.

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We found out the gender for all of our children except the last.  We thought it would be fun to wait and be surprised.  I didn't like it at all!  I love to sew and part of the fun of pregnancy is making cute little things for the baby.  I couldn't do as much with the last baby because we didn't know.   For our next pregnancy, we're going to find out the gender if at all possible.

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I wanted to know, and asked to be told when we had our 19 week ultrasound to check and make sure everything was ok. It would seem their guess are not always very accurate though because the technician was sure that my dd was a boy.

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I was surprised with my oldest child, the one who is adopted.  I got a very surprising phone call asking if we wanted placement of a 3 week old baby boy! 

 

My twins had sooooo many ultrasounds that I don't think I could have been surprised if I wanted to.  We knew genders by 13 weeks.  If I ever had another pregnancy, though (which I won't), I would choose to wait and be surprised.  I've done baby girl, I've done baby boys, a surprise would be fun!

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I wanted to find out and did with no problems for my first. My second would not cooperate at the ultrasound, but a friend of mine had a friend who taught ultrasound techs, so I went and let them use me to practice doing ultrasounds and found out then.

 

I don't really understand the whole "want to be surprised" thing. I was surprised, just a couple months before they were born. I want to buy stuff before the baby is born, I don't want to do gender neutral anything! When it was a girl, I wanted super girls everything. I don't want to shop after the baby is born because I want to be at home, cuddling my baby, not dragging them through stores. Obviously, ymmv, but I was very happy knowing.

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We didn't find out with number 1 or this baby. Dh talked me into finding out with number 2 but I preferred a surprise at birth :)

 

Eta: I preferred GN baby things. I'm not into super girly or boyish anything.

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I can't imagine not knowing.  My MIL is old enough that she remembers when all babies wore white dresses.  That seems extremely practical to me.  Dresses are handy for diapering and baby clothes could always be used for the next kid.  But, now days finding gender neutral baby clothes is difficult. 

 

I was leery of the ultrasound information especially since it was "A girl".  At the time I had a friend with a 4-year-old boy.  They'd gone through 4 ultrasounds being told he was a girl.  They had a friend that was a manager of a BabiesRUs, and they got a good deal of everything for the nursery - in pink.  Because of the good deal, it couldn't be returned.  I had an amnio. I was happy to know for certain.  We also had the world longest ultrasound at  that doctor's visit.  It was a high-risk doc doing it, and I think it was therapy for him.  I somehow knew he'd seen a messed up baby that disturbed him, and looking at our healthy baby was good for him.  I was happy to stare at her. 

 

A friend of my dad's accidentally found out the gender of his grandbaby, though the parents didn't know.  He was visiting the same doc for his own reasons.  He was coming back from the bathroom and he overheard the nurse say to another nurse, "The baby is X, but the parents don't want to know."  Because his daughter was in the office, he knew it was his grandbaby.  They had not arrived together, and she was using her married name.  So, the office hadn't known they were related.

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I knew with my twins and wanted to know. I suspected that the grandparents had gender preferences and was glad to give them time to adjust and get happy about it if they weren't already. As it turned out, I was also glad to know we were having two boys. I had no brothers, no nephews, no uncles .... No one in my family had any idea it was even possible for us to give birth to boys! I needed a couple of months to get used to the idea.

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I think it is a big surprise whenever you find out. You just get the surprise at a different time. I found out both times. It made it all more real for me and helped me bond better with my babies. I was so miserable during both pregnancies, I needed help wherever I could get it. I could use their names and it became my child and not just this thing making me so sick.

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We wanted to know for all three pregnancies. DH and I had a really tough time agreeing on baby names for all the children. With the latest, we had a few choices, but didn't settle on a name until the baby came out and we got a good look at him. I couldn't imagine making it twice as hard by not knowing the baby's gender.

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We found out with dd and will with this one as well. Because this pregnancy has been so different from my first, people think I'm having a boy. We will see, dh and I don't care as long as the baby is healthy :) We want to find out so that we can determine if we need an addition or not and to make buying things easier.

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