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Advice from those who have sent kids to college overseas


Miss Marple
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My son is leaving soon for 9 months to study in England.  I have the list given by the school as to what necessities he needs to bring.  However, what have you found that your student needed/wanted that you sent or found that you should have sent?   I think we've figured out the cell phone issue and the money issue.  

 

I know some of you have sent your kids far away and would love any words of advice.  

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I haven't sent children overseas, but I have lived overseas.  There usually turned out to be one thing that I really missed and that I ended up asking my mum to send me.  As time went on, I started to know what it would be, so I took it with me when I set off for a new country.  Before going the first time, however, I had no idea.  

 

So my advice would be for you to encourage your child to go with an attitude of openness to new experiences, but then be prepared to send a small care package if there's something really important missing.  Marmite, in my case.

 

Best wishes

 

Laura

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I went to college overseas.  I don't remember there being anything I really needed to be sent.  If I didn't have something I was able to buy it.  But I do remember that school breaks that were too short to go back home were a problem that I hadn't anticipated.  I spent one break staying with another college student in her apartment - I had never met her before but the college found her for me as somewhere to go.  That was a bit awkward.  

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My son is leaving soon for 9 months to study in England.  I have the list given by the school as to what necessities he needs to bring.  However, what have you found that your student needed/wanted that you sent or found that you should have sent?   I think we've figured out the cell phone issue and the money issue.  

 

I know some of you have sent your kids far away and would love any words of advice.  

 

A good attitude and access to money are the most important things.   Other than that, my ds wore out his shoes much faster than we'd anticipated.  He also walked more and in worse weather than he ever did at home so he needed water resistant shoes and a good rain jacket.  For your piece of mind, I'd make sure you know how to contact him in case of an emergency and what to do if you can't reach him.  While my ds has been away at school in Japan, we've have family emergencies and natural disasters.  

 

When he was first away, I would send him boxes with favorite foods from home and pictures.  

 

It was hard to send him so far away, but it has been amazing to see the man he has become while he was gone.

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Family photos (talking points)

Audio book or two on ipod for trip and for listening to if you are having trouble sleeping in a strange place

If cooking for self, family recipes

I agree about the waterproof (or at least resistant) shoes and good raincoat for Japan lol.  Perhaps England, too?

Journal

Addresses and stationary

Birthday or Christmas presents to open when the time comes

A few small typically US things to give as gifts

A small blanket (sometimes mine have been cold at night with whatever was provided and it isn't always easy to buy one)

Flipflops for strange showers

Extra perscription things - medicines, glasses, retainers

Something for diarrhea - this is an embarrassing thing to ask for help getting in a hurry if you need it and can cause problems when traveling

Camera so you can send pictures home

Musical instrument

Words to songs

A game to play (helpful for making new friends - cards, cribbage board, backgammon/aceyducey, go, chess, or whatever)

 

Mostly, think about what might be hard to buy or might needed right away before knowing how to buy things.

Keep emphasizing that it is amazing what you can get used to be fine with or even like eventually.

 

Nan

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If he is going to the UK, the thing he will need the most is a LOT of U.S. Dollars. I communicate with a family living there temporarily (for 2 or 3 years) and everything is incredibly expensive, compared to Texas...

 

He needs to have a Skype account and have Skype installed on his computer. You can have Skype to Skype audio or video calls, free, and keep in touch that way, in addition to emails.

 

The past Winter in the UK was pretty rough, for them, so he should be prepared to see some Snow during the Winter.

 

He will be fine!

 

At times, I miss going to a Denny's restaurant for Breakfast, and Blue Bell Banana Pudding Ice Cream (Blue Bell is a Texas brand).

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Skype - definitely Skype. And set up a regular weekly Skype date. Sometimes it's hard to catch each other with the time change. That's not to say that you can only Skype during your Skype date, but just that you have at least one time you know you'll be talking each week.

 

When we lived in England, we had a hard time finding popcorn. That was 15 years ago, so things may have changed since then, but I desperately missed popcorn.

 

 

 

 

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Unfortunately the school has poor internet service which won't support Skype.  Another son went there for 2 months a couple years ago and had a hard time even accessing Facebook.  He said that going into town and setting up at Starbucks was the best for internet activity.  I'm hoping that texting is easy.  

 

This son is an Eagle scout and can probably subsist on very little in comparison to others.  He doesn't think he needs to take anything!  He is sure that I'm going to overload his luggage :)  But I can see him getting there and missing something...I'm starting a list now even though he doesn't leave until mid September lol!  I don't think he has any idea how much more expensive things are in England than here.  He was happy to learn that Nutella is a staple at the school.

 

He has connected to the FB group for this year's students and I think that will make the transition easier.  And, hopefully, we will find someone nearby that we can work out common air schedules so he won't have to fly alone.  

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My dd spent the past school year studying in England.  We were fortunate to visit her 3 times with dh having meetings in Europe.  We always traded out clothes depending on the season.  But she would have been fine without our doing that.  She had British friends who wore the same clothes all the time - she found they weren't as fashion-conscious as Americans.  She ended up buying a pair of "gumboots" because it rained a lot.  

 

This probably applies to girls more than guys, but clothes are "louder" here so she found she wore more subdued colors there.  I would recommend your ds not wear any political or controversial t-shirts ;)

 

As mentioned previously, Skype was our best way to communicate.  I Skyped with her a lot more than dh did, but we arranged to Skype with her on a weekday morning before he left for work, and a weekend day.  Maybe your ds can find a coffee shop or bookshop near his campus that has Wifi so you can Skype with him.

 

I hope your ds has a great experience!  My dd loved her year there.  She just spent over an hour Skyping with two friends there.  Her church was amazing.  She spent a week with family friends in Paris - they worshipped at Notre Dame on Easter.  She learned to try (and cook!) new foods - her best friend there is from South Africa so my dd was able to learn some new recipes from her. :)

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Well, if you can't skype, you can write letters or email. : )  MIne have been in situations where only letters worked.  And in situations where I didn't hear from them for weeks.  If there is access to a printer, the letters can be typed and then mailed, which might seem faster to lap-top oriented students.  Email is very nice.  We've never skyped with our sons.  If we are lucky, we have email.  I send one daily, not too long, often just a sentence or two, and that makes it easy for them to reply when they can.  We find email pretty satisfactory.  If writing a letter seems overwhelming, see if they will send postcards.  They don't have to be expensive, picture postcards.  They can be more like an index card.  (Check if non-standard sizes are a problem if you decided to use actual index cards.)  The limited format of a post card helps them not to feel overwhelmed.  It is hard to write when you want to tell about everything in detail.

 

Thought I'd add my two cents worth about not needing all that much.  Mine tend to have a full backpack or seabag to check, a knapsack, and sometimes a box of other assorted things (like maple syrup, fishing poles, books, workboots, or tents).  Mine have gone for 3 or 4 months, not 9.  It gets trickier when you need both a bathing suit and a winter coat and rain gear and both rough work clothes and dress clothes.  And that fishing pole and backgammon board.  That is when you bring fewer teeshirts and count on buying a few if it turns out that you need them.

 

My kids all say don't forget that backgammon board. : )

 

Nan

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My daughter took a sheet of pre-addressed address labels which she made in order to send post and birthday cards to friends and family.  (These were not of her address but rather of the recipients' addresses.)

 

My daughter is currently teaching English in South Korea.  She learned prior to going that deodorant is not typically worn by Koreans thus she packed a new container.  She also refilled a medical prescription and purchased shampoo and lotion that do not irritate her eczema.

 

If your son is taking any electronic devices, he may wish to take a currency converter.

 

Regards,

Kareni

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I think you also need to look at the school calendar. Depending on schools, their holidays are different for the us. In London, most schools are out about 3 weeks for Christmas but then, they have exams in January when they resume as the semester is not yet ended. so most students don't want to travel for Christmas. Depending on where his school is, I found that you will find most things there that you have here in the us. They just might be more expensive. He should utilize the school library as most schools will carry the textbooks that they are using in class unlike here.

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Agree with the "not much" folks.

 

The cell phone thing and the money thing are by far the trickiest.

 

Make sure that he has a paper backup of the essentials (phone numbers that are not memorized, copy of passport, etc.).

I wrote useful phone numbers on an index card so he could keep that in his wallet. 

 

 

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My son is leaving soon for 9 months to study in England.  I have the list given by the school as to what necessities he needs to bring.  However, what have you found that your student needed/wanted that you sent or found that you should have sent?   I think we've figured out the cell phone issue and the money issue.  

 

I know some of you have sent your kids far away and would love any words of advice.  

 

This is going to sound really odd but... 

 

He really needs to internalize that he is not bringing his citizenship / constitution / bill of rights with him to the new school.

 

We have lived "not in the US" for more than half of Switzerland's life.  The one thing we see repeatedly - in all of the countries where we have been - is Americans who are livid when something happens and their "rights" are not respected.  Americans do not have American "rights" in foreign countries; they have to abide by the laws of the host nation.  Many people think that, if they screw up, the Consulate will just pick them up and get them out of trouble - this is not the case.

 

There are several books out there about living in different nations and the cultural mores and laws that one will be expected to follow "when in Rome".  I would highly suggest that your son at least peruse one before leaving for school.  Some things are very subtle (don't refer to a Scot as an Englishman!), others are a grave insult (simply handing a business card to a Japanese person - it should be placed in both hands, outstretched, with a small bow), and still others will get a person a lashing (vandalism to a car in Singapore).  There are lots of weird things out there.  Oh - you can't chew gum in Singapore, either!

 

My son is lucky in that he has spent a lot of time in the nation where he will be attending school, yet he is still flummoxed as to what he will be bringing; the dorm room is tiny.  I think it is a challenge for every new student.  I suspect it will come down to his bug-out bag, his bike, his bagpipes, his computer and some office supplies.  And I'm still not sure that will fit!

 

 

asta

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Very good post, Asta

 

 (don't refer to a Scot as an Englishman!)

 

Yes.  This headline in the NYT caused a lot of upset.

 

I think I went off to university with clothes, some stationery and my bike (which lived outside).  Calvin wants to take his bass guitar - I've suggested he check what is provided in college music practice rooms before he decides whether to take his amp.

 

L

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There are several books out there about living in different nations and the cultural mores and laws that one will be expected to follow "when in Rome". 

 

While I remember: OP, make sure your son knows what a pedestrian crossing looks like in the UK and how to use one.  I live near a tourist town and it makes me very nervous as I watch out for people looking the wrong direction and expecting cars to stop at non-crossings.  

 

L

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While I remember: OP, make sure your son knows what a pedestrian crossing looks like in the UK and how to use one.  I live near a tourist town and it makes me very nervous as I watch out for people looking the wrong direction and expecting cars to stop at non-crossings.  This is a crossing, as is this.  The concrete bit in the road with the arrow on it in this picture is not - it just divides one stream of traffic from another.  You can, of course, cross there, but at your own peril.

 

LOL!  Those crosswalks are tricky!  We've been, as a family, to GB twice and the boys learned about those crossings in London. When we were there the first time, my youngest was about 7.  He's the impetuous type and wanted to always be "first".  There were a few close calls with him.  Thankfully he is a quick learner :)   We were thankful for the writing on the pavement that indicated which way to "look" since traffic flow is opposite to the US.  We saw a lot of near misses in London.  That and the "mind the gap" on the Underground are just a few of the things they remember well about the trips.  

 

Asta, thank you so much for chiming in.  I had not really given consideration to the issue of being a foreigner.  We have traveled a bit internationally, but that is a far different thing than living in another country.  It's easy, especially in an English speaking country, to assume that rules, laws, and etiquette are the same or similar.  We will have some discussions about that issue.

 

Do any of you know of a specific book that would be good for him to read before he goes that would address differences in laws, customs, and etiquette?  Maybe a children's book (with lots of illustrations)? 

 

To all who have contributed, I am so grateful.  Every one of you has given me an idea or something to add to the list.  My biggest issue is the idea of him being over there alone for his birthday (November) and for our US holiday of Thanksgiving.  We always have extended family and lots of special treats (mostly food related) for birthdays and holidays.  I know he will miss those.  The school has a FB group for the students of 2013-14.  He has joined that and is "chatting" with the others.  I think that will help a bit with the transition.  Again, thanks to all of you :)

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It is nice for you that in the UK health insurance isn't an issue! It can be for some countries...

 

We just had a guest who will soon be a student in the UK as well. She just got back from looking for an apartment and was horrified to find hardly any veggies in the shops...She's going to a smaller town...So you might want to give some nutritional advice if he's in a similar town; he'll have to work to get his vitamins and minerals. :-)

 

Joan

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It is nice for you that in the UK health insurance isn't an issue! It can be for some countries...

 

We just had a guest who will soon be a student in the UK as well. She just got back from looking for an apartment and was horrified to find hardly any veggies in the shops...She's going to a smaller town...So you might want to give some nutritional advice if he's in a similar town; he'll have to work to get his vitamins and minerals. :-)

 

Joan

 

It's worth asking local people about this kind of thing.  I was helping out an overseas student in our local small town and she was complaining about the size of the supermarket and its range of produce.  She had no idea that there was a full-sized supermarket a five-minute bus ride away.

 

L

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It's worth asking local people about this kind of thing.  I was helping out an overseas student in our local small town and she was complaining about the size of the supermarket and its range of produce.  She had no idea that there was a full-sized supermarket a five-minute bus ride away.

 

L

 

That's a good tip - Thanks!

 

Joan

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Plymouth

 

Yeah - I think that she hasn't explored yet.  Plymouth is a city of 51,000 people.  It has three Tesco, a Waitrose, a Marks and Spencer, an Aldi, an Asda superstore, a Lidl and two Sainsbury's (supermarkets).    It has a farmer's market the 4th Saturday of every month.  In addition, if she googles 'Plymouth greengrocers' she should find all the veg she needs.

 

ETA: Plymouth was 'the big city' when my mum grew up in rural Devon - it serves a fairly wide area.

 

L

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Yeah - I think that she hasn't explored yet.  Plymouth is a city of 51,000 people.  It has three Tesco, a Waitrose, a Marks and Spencer, an Aldi, an Asda superstore, a Lidl and two Sainsbury's (supermarkets).    It has a farmer's market the 4th Saturday of every month.  In addition, if she googles 'Plymouth greengrocers' she should find all the veg she needs.

 

ETA: Plymouth was 'the big city' when my mum grew up in rural Devon - it serves a fairly wide area.

 

L

 

Oh she'll be very happy about this news....she was thinking she had to go home (to Italy) to 'eat right'!

 

Joan

 

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Plymouth

 

I live about 1/2 an hour from Plymouth if you want information. It's a pretty big city with a huge shopping centre. It's pretty well set up for getting about on foot. And there are several central supermarkets and then there's also the market which has a variety of stalls. Some of the supermarkets are a bit hidden away though.

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I live about 1/2 an hour from Plymouth if you want information. It's a pretty big city with a huge shopping centre. It's pretty well set up for getting about on foot. And there are several central supermarkets and then there's also the market which has a variety of stalls. Some of the supermarkets are a bit hidden away though.

 

What's the name of the huge shopping centre? (That way she knows what to ask for)...

 

Thanks for the info! - I'm passing it on. Her mom was so happy about the news of veggies too...

 

Joan

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What's the name of the huge shopping centre? (That way she knows what to ask for)...

 

Thanks for the info! - I'm passing it on. Her mom was so happy about the news of veggies too...

 

Joan

 

Drake Circus is the shopping centre. It's in the middle of a pedestrianised area of shops too. It's opposite the university basically. There is a marks and spencers, small tesco and a Sainsburys right in that area. The Sainsburys is on the top floor of a small shopping centre called the Armarda centre though so its easy to miss. Is she there for a specfic uni or college? I might be able to give her some more specific advice about stuff in that area.

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Drake Circus is the shopping centre. It's in the middle of a pedestrianised area of shops too. It's opposite the university basically. There is a marks and spencers, small tesco and a Sainsburys right in that area. The Sainsburys is on the top floor of a small shopping centre called the Armarda centre though so its easy to miss. Is she there for a specfic uni or college? I might be able to give her some more specific advice about stuff in that area.

 

Thanks for the info!

 

They've just left CH so I won't be able to tell you for another week about the name of the uni....

 

Joan

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  • 1 month later...

This is going to sound really odd but... 

 

He really needs to internalize that he is not bringing his citizenship / constitution / bill of rights with him to the new school.

 

 

Resurrecting the thread with this evening's example:

 

At Aldi, the guy behind me in the line is young looking and has four bottles of beer.  I am over at the bench packing my stuff when he reaches the checker.  The checker asks for ID.  Young man (North American by accent) pulls out a card and says, 'It's a military ID.  You can't go into the military until you are 18.'  

 

The checker explains politely that the only IDs accepted in the store are a UK driving licence or a passport.  He keeps saying, 'But you can't go into the military until you are 18.'  The manager comes over, apologises for inconveniencing him, and restates the policy.  Again he says, 'You can't go into the military until you are 18.'  

 

Finally he gives up and as I load up my cart he walks past me muttering.

 

Now, I'm pretty sure he was a university student, so he should be bright enough.  But he just couldn't wrap his head around things not being like they are at home.  

 

FWIW, I'm sure some Brits are just as bad abroad.

 

L

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Drake Circus is the shopping centre. It's in the middle of a pedestrianised area of shops too. It's opposite the university basically. There is a marks and spencers, small tesco and a Sainsburys right in that area. The Sainsburys is on the top floor of a small shopping centre called the Armarda centre though so its easy to miss. Is she there for a specfic uni or college? I might be able to give her some more specific advice about stuff in that area.

 

We ended up traveling a lot and have now just been in touch. She's at University of Plymouth in Biology...Sounds like things are going well...She found a 1pound shop to buy all her necessities but doesn't have internet yet...so things will get even better when that's in...I'll check with her once she has it up and running....

Joan

 

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Resurrecting the thread with this evening's example:

 

At Aldi, the guy behind me in the line is young looking and has four bottles of beer.  I am over at the bench packing my stuff when he reaches the checker.  The checker asks for ID.  Young man (North American by accent) pulls out a card and says, 'It's a military ID.  You can't go into the military until you are 18.'  

 

The checker explains politely that the only IDs accepted in the store are a UK driving licence or a passport.  He keeps saying, 'But you can't go into the military until you are 18.'  The manager comes over, apologises for inconveniencing him, and restates the policy.  Again he says, 'You can't go into the military until you are 18.'  

 

Finally he gives up and as I load up my cart he walks past me muttering.

 

Now, I'm pretty sure he was a university student, so he should be bright enough.  But he just couldn't wrap his head around things not being like they are at home.  

 

FWIW, I'm sure some Brits are just as bad abroad.

 

L

 

Kid has had no problem using his military ID.  He just turns it over and points out his birth date.  I think that young man just took the wrong tactic.

 

Also, you *can* go into the US military prior to 18 - you just need the permission of your parents.  I went in at 17.

 

 

A

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Kid has had no problem using his military ID.  He just turns it over and points out his birth date.  I think that young man just took the wrong tactic.

 

Also, you *can* go into the US military prior to 18 - you just need the permission of your parents.  I went in at 17.

 

 

A

 

I think it's company policy, rather than law.  The law is that you can't buy alcohol under 18, but each shop is free to create its own policy to meet that law.  Tell Kid not to try Aldi!

 

L

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