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How do you keep your children out...


wintermom
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Well my children never come into our bedroom, at least they haven't since they were toddlers, or unless they are coming to tell us they are sick. As we have hardwood floors and the children have to come through our dressing room to get to the bedroom we have warning time.. We have most of our discussions after the children are all in bed.

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We have a lock.  We also have a TV that is near the door way that is usually on the music channel.  We also have wireless speakers that hook to the TV (so that I can hear the news etc. in other parts of the house during the day) that we can strategically place near any heat vent runs or other places in the house.

 

Many years ago one of mine asked if we were "discussing Christmas presents"..........ummm, sure,.............  That kept them far away as they knew the rule about sneaking to find out their Christmas presents.  If they did the present went back to the store.

 

We have always had a lock-----and not one of those little door knob ones that the kids could pick with a butter knife or paperclip.  We have a deadbolt :lol:

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We don't seem to ever have private discussions in the bedroom. But we taught dd from an early age that a closed door means one must knock and be invited it. I thought that was pretty standard in the teaching of manners.

 

If you are referring to tea parties we have those when we have the house to ourselves. Our habits are a bit different than the average family as in Dh has his own room, dd sleeps with me most nights. It is just different for us.

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Our door lock is easy to pick and we have one child with a developmental disorder who won't obey instructions, so we usually wedge something underneath or against the door (in addition nap announcement, electronic entertainment and sibling babysitting for that child, locking the door, music). 

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We've always said that dad was going to massage my back, so we lock the door and put on music. But when the kids were little, we mostly waited until bedtime for tea parties. Now that mine are all teens who are busy with their own thing, they don't even notice when we close and lock our door.

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Discussions - we just say, "Hey, we've got something private to talk about. Please go to your rooms for a few minutes." Then we sit around the family room talking about whatever it is we need to talk about. But, since they are teens, oft times they are outside doing something, or in the summers house sitting/farm sitting, or down at their grandparents, or in my brother's tree house, or whatever...it's actually fairly easy to find time. This week they are all volunteering at VBS as actors in skits. They leave at 5:30 p.m. for skit practice, and get home around 8:30 p.m. Woot! Three hours each night all week long to ourselves!

 

As for tEa parties, when we renovated this place, the kids bedrooms were built a bit away from ours, with very thick insulation in our walls, solid oak door with lock, etc. The kids often fall asleep listening to classical or jazz music, sometimes even an audio book anyway, so this has not been an issue.

 

When they were younger and we lived in our other house, their bedrooms were upstairs and the staircase was creaky so we could always hear them coming. They've all been good sleepers though.

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They are asleep, so it hasn't really been an issue. I only recently got dh trained to at least shut the darn door.

 

We once got a surprise when we discovered that one of the ds had picked a new place to sleep the night - under our bed! I was sure he was in his bed when I tucked him in. Luckily he made some noise before too much had started. :huh:  We've been extra careful since then.

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I just cannot picture telling my 6'1" 250 pound dh that it's time for a 'tea party.' :lol:  I've never heard that expression. I don't think the dc would buy it either, if they heard it.

This is board "code"...teA is used in the way you seem to be using the word discussion.

 

This is why you are getting answers regarding both having an actual discussion and relations.

 

I'm sure someone else can explain it better or link to another thread.

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I just cannot picture telling my 6'1" 250 pound dh that it's time for a 'tea party.' :lol: I've never heard that expression. I don't think the dc would buy it either, if they heard it.

It is board code. Hang around some more. You'll get used to it and will be able to talk about tea paraphernalia with ease.

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This. Our kids never leave us alone. Seriously. So, all action happens when everyone else is asleep. Even then we lock the door.

 

We're running into the problem of our dd being a night owl and dh having to get up very early for work, so he falls asleep at 9:00pm.

 

If we go for the morning, then the boys are up very early. I long back to those days when the little ones were asleep and dh and I had a couple hours of alone time while we were still awake. :laugh:

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If the kids are awake (say, weekend afternoon), we set them up with a diversion (read: we use TV as a babysitter in this limited instance), tell them we are going to have some private time and lock the bedroom door for the hour or so we can count on the TV to hold their attention.  Otherwise, we just wait until they are asleep.  Or we have some relatively quick discussions in the shower.  Shower discussions are great.  Our bathroom is off of our bedroom, so the bedroom lock works for that as a just in case precaution.  

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Door lock. When they were younger, our discussions took place when they were asleep since they went down early. Now, we have a few nights a week that we like to watch something in our room alone. I'm pretty sure they know what's really going on but that's our story and it works.

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