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vent: adults that bully kids


swellmomma
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gah! I have to be THAT mom at ds14's workplace today.

So Friday night ds worked 4-10pm.  When I picked him up I found out that the new worker(the one I actually wanted to help) HIT him twice.  ds said he thought the first time the guy was goofing around, it was a shoulder punch but it really hurt. And then the second time as ds walked past this guy punched him in the back.  I picked ds up at closing so the manager was not there, just the shift supervisor but ds told me in the car after they had already locked up etc.  Friday night ds was up sick most of the night due to stress (he has IBS).  So yesterday he called in sick to work.  I asked to speak to the manager but she was away for the weekend.  ds goes to work today.  First part of the shift was fine, man was not working yet.  Man showed up at 3pm to work today and has already been giving ds a hard time.  Insulting him, telling him he hates him etc.  Ds phoned me upset at 430 asking what he should do.  This man has only been working there 1 week, this is ds's 4th shift working with him and 1/2 of those has been spent being bullied.  So I told him to tell the shift supervisor and to stay away from the man.  I am going in early to talk to the shift supervisor myself and make arrangements for the manager to call me tomorrow.

I never ever wanted to be a mom involved in my child's workplace BUT he has to be safe, and having a staff member bully him is not happening. 

If this man is not fired immediately I will be going to the head office and if he touches my boy again he will be dealing with the police.  This is ridiculous. 

Work has been the one good thing going for him.  They have worked with him so much despite his special needs and it has really benefitted other areas of his life. And now he is dealing with this there.

Well my plans to be so nice to this guy and help him get the education he wanted are long gone, instead of getting to know nice me, he gets to see b*tchy me in action.  You don't mess with my kid.

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hitting isn't bullying.  it's assault.  you can file a police report on that.

That will be tomorrow, but I want to see the surveilence video first.  Because ds was already in the car away from this guy when he told me I didn't feel it was a 911 situation.  And because it was in the back area it will be a he said/he said situation. But there is video recording back there, so I want to make sure it is caught on tape before I file.  Otherwise nothing will happen.  Our police station is technically closed on the weekends, 911 is the only way to get a cop and this isn't an emergency, but tomorrow the precinct is open again and I can walk in to file a report.  So I am not ignoring it or blowing it off, just dealing with living in a small town and it's limitations.

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I would be SO upset! It would be hard for me not to go off on someone. I am normally a pretty calm person but not when it comes to my babies! If someone hurt my special needs son I might end up in jail!!!

 

I hope everything goes well and the adult is fired!

 

Elise in NC

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I agree! Your son needs you to help help him navigate this situation. I am usually a quiet person, but when someone messes with my children, my inner mama bear comes roaring out. Your son does not deserve to be treated like this by anyone. I hope you can get it taken care of.

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That will be tomorrow, but I want to see the surveilence video first.  Because ds was already in the car away from this guy when he told me I didn't feel it was a 911 situation.  And because it was in the back area it will be a he said/he said situation. But there is video recording back there, so I want to make sure it is caught on tape before I file.  Otherwise nothing will happen.  Our police station is technically closed on the weekends, 911 is the only way to get a cop and this isn't an emergency, but tomorrow the precinct is open again and I can walk in to file a report.  So I am not ignoring it or blowing it off, just dealing with living in a small town and it's limitations.

 

It doesn't matter. If you file a police report and they cannot pursue formal charges the report is there if/when something like this happens again. Also looking at filing a restraining order. Some people are just sick individuals.

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Sitting at his work having a bite to eat now. Had a talk with the shift supervisor about it and he is upset enough he is phoning the manager at home about it right now. I am confident they will handle it appropriately at this end

 

I hope the situation is handled appropriately.  Please update.

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So weird, I updated then got a weird message from the site needing to further authenticate me and said to copy the above text but there was no text.  weird.

Anyway, manager doesn't work again until Tuesday, which is when ds works, so I am sure she will want to talk to ds herself before proceeding further which is fine.
 

When I refused to speak to the man today and said everything can go through management, he told ds to tell me he was sorry, but he had a bad childhood and was tossed out on his own at 15 and that's why he has a bad temper etc.  Oh give me a break, like that will get any sympathy from me.  Dude is going down.  When I speak to the manager I will be letting her know of his excuses too.  He also tried to blame ds14 for it, saying that he was bugging him too much.  Well I am sorry but if a kid is bugging you, you tell him to stop and to get back to work.  You don't hit him and tell him you hate him etc  Guy is a douche and is not getting off that easy.

 I will update once I know more about what is happening.

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When I refused to speak to the man today and said everything can go through management, he told ds to tell me he was sorry, but he had a bad childhood and was tossed out on his own at 15 and that's why he has a bad temper etc.  Oh give me a break, like that will get any sympathy from me.  

 I will update once I know more about what is happening.

sounds like a classic abuser.  "oh, I'm sorry honey, I didn't mean it.  I'll never do it again."   uh huh.  definitely need a police report on this turkey so the next person will have a record of his history when the injuries are worse.

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