Focus issues with six year old

[cintinative]

I'll be the first to admit--my six year old (just turned six in June) and I are wired very differently. He is more of a free spirit, creative, outgoing, people-oriented, and bright. However, it is sooo hard to get him to focus. Sometimes reading is painful. It's not that he can't--but he skips words because he is distracted. He reads one line and then he is picking his toes or trying to eat a snack. By the end of four or five pages sometimes I am struggling to not be angry about it.  I know in part it is his age, but what is reasonable for this age?  We have the same issue when we try to do Xtra Math. He hates it and literally cannot stay focused for the whole three to four minutes. I have tried everything I know. I need some suggestions. Some days I feel like he might need "medication" but I really don't want to go there. I homeschool so we should be able to be flexible and help him cope with this, right? If he can spend thirty minutes drawing, he can spend thirty minutes reading, right?  Thank you in advance for your input. I know my attitude is kind of stinky!

[Ellie]

Well, if he struggles by the end of four or five pages, then stop at four.

 

If he hates Xtra Math, do something different. Maybe Miquon, if you think he needs manipulatives, or Rod and Staff, which has lots of teacher interaction.

 

Do something like KONOS for everything else--more activity-oriented than seat-work oriented.

[cintinative]

I wouldn't say he is struggling to read. Depending on the day he is more distracted or less, but today he was distracted from page one. So it literally took ten or fifteen minutes to read a paragraph or two because he kept stopping to get a snack, a drink, pick his toes, play with the blanket, etc. LOL. He does okay with our regular math--MIF--but Xtra Math is a drill program. He hates it. He sort of likes Math Bingo because it isn't timed. I don't know anything about KONOS. What is that?

[MeghanL]

With my newly-6-year-old, we read one 2-page spread a day. That's about all we both can handle. By doing it every day, we don't get behind in the scheduled reading since they assume you'll read an entire book in one sitting every few weeks. 

My MIL, who is very skilled with early education is constantly reminding me that a good rule of thumb is to expect one minute of focus for every year old before you need to switch to something else. So, 6 minutes of really good reading and then they might be done. 

[PeterPan]

You're not going to like all the options, but here goes.  (And these are certainly not all the options!)  Given his birthday, you could redshirt him.  My dd started reading a couple months before she turned 6 (and now has an exceptionally high reading level), so your boy's reading sounds fine.  I'm flabbergasted, given what you describe, that you have him reading 30 minutes a day in a session like that.  That's a long time!  My dd didn't respond well to forced reading anyway.  We did SWR, where you sort of do the inverse, spelling and reading back what you spelled.  She listened to a lot of audiobooks, and I always kept tempting books around, like littering the house in piles.  And magazine racks filled with books in the bathroom.  So maybe ditched the forced reading and just make the stuff he has available to read more enticing.  NOT CRAP.  I didn't say Spongebob and stupidity.  Just more enticing, so he can't help but read it.  For my boy, it will doubtless be books with guns and adventure.  Early readers are typically stupid, insipid, worthless, disinteresting...  What does an active boy who wants to be a sniper care about chickens and hens and farm cats??  Not that you're reading those, but that's the kind of stuff that was in readers I tried on my dd.   :lol:  They'll actually jump reading levels and stretch to read it if the books are amazing.

 

Back to the grade adjustment.  Might help.  Very common option with boys.  The issue in adhd is that the EF tends to be 30% behind their age peers.  You're only looking at his wiggles.  Wait till you try to get him to think logically through a 5 paragraph essay or outline something and you realize his ability to do anything using organization like that is WAY behind his peers.  And with a June birthday, he's on the youngest end of his grade for that, meaning he's constantly the underdog.  You could call him the younger grade (as in repeat K5).  You could wait and start 1st in January, with the idea that when you approach junior high you'll sort out the up/down.  It's MUCH easier to jump a grade than to have to adjust later.

 

You could go ahead and assume he's adhd and start making the changes you'd make based on that.  There are things that won't hurt him if he's not.  More salad, eliminate things he's allergic to or not digesting well, add omega 3s, remove food coloring, LOTS more time outside, consider an OT eval for sensory, get his vision checked by a developmental optometrist (find through COVD), that kind of thing.  Omega 3 can make a noticeable difference, especially when paired with a healthy diet (large salad daily, lots of fresh fruits and veges, etc.).  Honestly, my boy is so busy, he doesn't eat as much as I think he should.  If he does this, might be worth the effort to slow him down and get him to eat.  Try to build up to 2-3 cups (measured) of salad daily.  Notice how food is affecting him.  You might see a caffeine flip, where he actually gets more tired or calm when he has caffeine sources (chocolate, whatever).  

 

There are also some things you can do that can help with the EF stuff.  C8Kids right now is available for the cost of donation.  You can do your own version of Interactive Metronome at home with an app and throw in digit spans, bilateral motion, etc.  

 

We've had quite a few threads on the LC/SN board with lists of books.  You especially want to get The Out of Sync Child.  I only mentioned OT and sensory briefly, but you definitely want to dig in there and do some reading.

 

Don't accept a ped diagnosis.  If you get a full eval with a psych/neuropsych, they give you SO much more information and may catch things you aren't expecting.  I've heard they tend not to want to diagnose till 7 anyway.  Some people on the boards have gone earlier (with extreme symptoms) and gotten the diagnosis.  So try some things, read, make changes.  It takes months to get into a good psych anyway or even to find one you like.  You could start looking for one now, make your changes, and by the time the appointment rolls around decide to keep or cancel.

 

Oh, and as for the all boys are wiggly thing, well who am I to say, I only know mine.  It can be hard to distinguish at that age, which is why they're reluctant to diagnose.  More salad, less junk, adding omega 3, doing metronome work, working with more engagement and shorter sessions, none of this hurts anybody.  I think the main thing is not to look at it as a *defect* to fix but a *difference*.  There tend to be some incredible up-sides and positive skills and things you can harness (VSL abilities, ability to be VERY engaged and pro-active and enthusiastic when they are engaged, creative side, etc. etc.).  So when you pursue evals to understand him better and read, you're becoming a better teacher.  It helps you move from fighting them to make them fit in someone else's system to realizing what system they would actually thrive under.  

 

Btw, we have a terrific learning challenges/special needs board you might like to come post on.  :)

[Ellie]

I wouldn't say he is struggling to read. Depending on the day he is more distracted or less, but today he was distracted from page one. So it literally took ten or fifteen minutes to read a paragraph or two because he kept stopping to get a snack, a drink, pick his toes, play with the blanket, etc. LOL. He does okay with our regular math--MIF--but Xtra Math is a drill program. He hates it. He sort of likes Math Bingo because it isn't timed. I don't know anything about KONOS. What is that?

 

Well...why did you let him stop to get a snack? a drink? pick his toes? play with the blanket? Have him wear shoes and sit at the table to read, and stop reading after a couple of sentences. For a 6yo to read a couple of paragraphs might not be age-appropriate; that is, some 6yo might be able to do that, but not all of them. Your ds just turned 6; he might not be ready for that much sitting still and reading aloud.

 

KONOS is a unit study based on godly character traits such as attentiveness, orderliness, and inquisitiveness. Children can learn about frontiersmen, explorers, the eye, and more. It's history, geography, science, arts and crafts, drama, literature--everything except English skills and math. KONOS is particularly good for wiggly little boys. :-)

[RoundAbout]

My DS is 6 and I think the lack of focus you are describing is pretty normal.  There is no way I would expect my son to read for 30 minutes straight even though he often spends that amount of time on his own drawing or playing Lego.  One of the things we do sometimes for reading is alternate pages. It keeps interest high and has really built up his stamina.   If I wanted 30 minutes of reading, we'd do three 10 minute sessions.  I really think 30 minutes is too long for something that is assigned.  

 

I'm not familiar with XtraMath, but for math drill I expect a high level of involvement.  The RightStart games are perfect for this IMHO and work even better if I can recruit grandma or other adults to play as he likes explaining the rules and showing off.  

[PeterPan]

Well...why did you let him stop to get a snack? a drink? pick his toes? play with the blanket? Have him wear shoes and sit at the table to read, and stop reading after a couple of sentences. 

 

Ellie's onto something here.  People who work with wiggly boys regularly, like our speech therapist, tend to have techniques they use to keep them focused.  I think sometimes as new parents we're timid and afraid to do such things, thinking we'll be over-harsh.  It's not though.  For instance our speech therapist STRAPS DOWN my son.  I kid you not.  They actually have special chairs with trays and they pin the kids in.  It gives them sensory input and is calming.  If you've seen the cute Z-shaped chairs with trays and adjustable seat and feet, it's like that.  Actually she has more firm strapping chairs too, but the Z-style is what she uses now.  I use a booster seat with straps and pull him up firmly to the table.

 

She also puts cushions with air and bumps under his feet and his seat.  My dentist even uses a cushion like that now!  Abilitations sells them, or you can find cheaper versions on amazon, etc.

 

She uses lots of repetition and structure, so they always know what to expect.  If it's something un-fun where he needs to focus really hard, she'll use a technique (in this case a stacking toy with 20 some pieces) where he earns the parts as he does the tasks and then gets to break and reassemble the toy when he has earned all the parts.  In other words there's a clear beginning, clear end, and he can get used to the routine.  They thrive on structure and routine, clear expections.  Timers are good.  They have some cool timer apps he might be ready to understand.  (clock where the red disappears as time runs out)

 

Yes to short sessions, mercy.

 

Also alternate more focused and more physical.  When my dd was that age, we worked 10 minutes and then she went to do laps.  That's why I'm saying I'm pretty blown away that you've got him doing forced reading for 30 minute stretches and are complaining or worried.  That's SO not typical or appropriate for kids with attention issues.

 

I keep a trampoline in the house (mini-rebounder) and a Sky Chair hanging single line swing.  He focuses for a while and then he can blow off his steam.  So when we work, we WORK.  But then we release and let that out, kwim?  

[Monica_in_Switzerland]

My son has great focus, but he would never do 30 minutes of straight reading at 6.  It's more important that he learns to love reading and does a bit every day, rather than it becoming a battle.

[Tanikit]

This post made me smile - my nearly 6 year old DD is just like this. A bathroom break is always allowed and she does try her luck with this (if she has gone in the last 5 minutes though then I do say no). I made a rule recently that there would be no eating during school time - we have plenty of breaks and she gets her snacks then, but if I have told her to finish a page of math then no amount of "I am hungry" helps - she has to finish to get a snack.

 

As for reading - my DD is highly fidgety. I hold her place in the books she reads as she cannot sit still enough to keep her own pace (not at her instructional level of reading where the words are quite small on the page) - to help I do expect her to hold and read easier readers with fewer words and bigger print herself, but other readers I keep a page under what she reads. She also skips words and all I do is breathe deeply to calm myself and then put my finger under the word before the one she skipped and wait for her to read it properly. If it means she must read the line 5 times then so be it - it has got better with me doing this, but I had to be consistent. I am not sure what your son is doing, but my DD reads ahead silently and then says whatever - she knows what the story is about so just says something that sounds the same but is not exactly what is written there - it is not guessing as most people refer to it - she has really read the correct words, but now she is paraphrasing aloud - that just requires slowing her down a bit.

 

Definitely short sessions, definitely use a chair that is too heavy to tip over, don't expect full concentration either - many children can take in what is needed without seeming to pay attention, definitely use things to keep his hands busy and give him loads of physical activity - my own DD does "physical education" as many times as is needed during the day - usually after running around in the garden and doing handstands and cartwheels she will concentrate better for the next short while. Split instruction into multiple short sessions - my DD has always done reading in two or three sessions per day. I do gradually increase what is expected of her, but started with absolutely minimal expectations - she can now manage a short chapter aloud, but if its too long I will stop her when I think she'd done enough.

 

Having a routine also works well with my DD - it is not so strict that there is not room for change, but just knowing what to expect has helped her a lot.

 

The only medication he should need now is physical exercise and healthy food (my own DD goes ballistic if she eats Smarties - a type of candy, so if she's had that I usually have to stop school altogether - now if only DH and MIL would listen and stop giving her it!)

[cintinative]

Thank you for all the suggestions!

 

I think I have been too focused on getting the reading done and need to just set a time frame and let him be done. I don't want to reward his delay tactics (food, drink, etc.) so I will have to be more diligent to be clear on my expectations (don't steal my drink, etc. LOL!). Honestly I don't want him to read 30 minutes a day but sometimes it stretches into that, so I just need to set a timer or something and let him know I do expect focus in that timeframe.  

 

Like several have mentioned, I do need to keep him moving through the day because he has a lot of energy. And, yes, sugar intake probably needs to be curtailed also!

 

Although he is only 6, he is able to read at a second grade level. So I think I am also kind of struggling with challenging him without burning him out.  I don't want him to hate reading because of our reading times. Thank you for all your input!

 

 

[PeterPan]

 I don't want to reward his delay tactics (food, drink, etc.) ... (don't steal my drink, etc. LOL!). 

 

So you get a drink and he doesn't?  That's funny.  :)

 

If he's delaying, does he have a reason?  If he's reading at a 2nd gr reading level, maybe he doesn't NEED the forced reading sessions?  Maybe it's time to move to a bathroom book rack and extended lights out if he reads?  You shouldn't have to force a kid in that position to read.  Has he tried the Usborne Time Traveler book yet?  My dd LOVED it at that age.  If you latch onto a genre he likes you're golden.  My dd liked Calvin & Hobbes comic books, so she read a TON of those.  We used the TruthQuest guides to keep her piled with books.  

 

Just so you know, when they're gifted plus SN (say adhd), the term is 2E.  Evals can be really helpful in teasing that stuff apart.  Hoagies Gifted has a symptoms list showing how much adhd and high IQ symptoms overlap.  Bright Not Broken is a good book in that vein.

[MistyMountain]

Thank you so much for the advice this thread OhElizabeth. I have two kids who have adhd sensory type issues and this is very helpful!

[PeterPan]

You're welcome Misty!  Soon you'll be giving advice too!  :)

 

Back to the op for a sec, have you tried TinTin comics on him?  My ds is really crazy for them.  I don't think he really reads them, but he sure does pour over them a lot.  There are also comic book versions of the Bible.  There's a thicker one I got for my dd that she never really used.  However this one Read-N-Grow Picture Bible: A 1,872-Picture Adventure from Creation to Revelation  is WONDERFUL.  It has complete sentences under each cell.  

 

I assume my family's attraction to comics is a VSL thing.  Hadn't really thought about it, just went with it...  The well-written ones are definitely worth reading.  Later we did the Shakespeare in comics books VP sells.

[NASDAQ]

Pull out some of the older readers for children your son's age. Passages more than a couple pages long were rare.

 

Five pages is a lot. Really.

 

Math drill is not all that interesting. Work towards five minutes of drill. If, with a child your son's age, I could get ten minutes of reading, five minutes of drill, or twenty minutes of guided math (e.g. Miquon), I'd think I was doing pretty well.

 

You will see huge gains in his attention span over the next couple years.

[Starr]

We also alternated reading paragraphs or pages. It was fun and went more smoothly.

[Ellie]

Although he is only 6, he is able to read at a second grade level. So I think I am also kind of struggling with challenging him without burning him out.

 

But he is still only 6. That means he has 6yo physical and mental and emotional needs. There should be no "struggle." You can offer some things that are more "challenging," but I don't think you need to make those your primary instruction, KWIM? Or to put it another way, let him ask for more. You could have books lying around which are more challenging, of course, and when you read aloud to him for enjoyment, you could read books which are a little "older."